Disclaimer: I do not own Life is Strange, nor Black Flies.
Rating: for strong language, death and major injury, and sexual references/innuendo (non-graphic).
A/n: I always wondered what happened to the timelines Max abandoned, which led me nicely to what happened to the timeline Max abandons if you pick the Bay over Chloe. For anyone who knows the song, I should also add ... I've not gotten to the end of BTS yet, please don't spoil. Enjoy!
You Were the Ocean
And no man is an island, oh this I know
But can't you see, oh?
Maybe you were the ocean, when I was just a stone
Black Flies, Ben Howard
She doesn't know what she's waiting for. Or rather, she knows what she's waiting for – she just doesn't know what it will feel like. She's never felt any of Max's photojumps before.
So she watches her best friend stare at that photo and hopes she'll be able to remember the feeling of rain on her skin and wind through her hair. It's stupid because if this works, this will never have happened to her. She'll just…
Max stumbles suddenly, so close to the cliff edge that Chloe lunges forwards but before she can get there, the girl has righted herself. She looks around, puzzled. As Chloe walks closer, her eyes widen.
"Uh, Max?" Chloe says. "Everything alright there?"
There's something really fucking ironic about having to check if her execution is going OK but now's not the time to say it. Not with the younger girl starting to shake.
"C-Chloe? What's going on?" Her gaze focuses on the tornado. "Chloe, the town."
"Uh, Max? I know. That's why you're…"
That's when Chloe realises. The stumbling. The looking puzzled. A bolt of something – disappointment, pain, anger? – hits her stomach.
"You're not her."
"Huh?"
"Max. You're … she's gone." Chloe swallows, looks past the girl to the destruction going on below. "She photojumped. Let me die in the bathroom and saved everyone. This is … what comes after. Here. Fuck."
The girl looks at the photo, at Chloe, at the tornado. "Chloe, I-"
She shakes her head. "It's gonna happen, isn't it? They're all gonna die and we can't do jack shit about it 'cause Max has gone to some other fucking reality." She finally looks at the girl, whose eyes are squeezed shut. "You have all these fucking powers, can't you do something?"
For a second, the tornado rages in silence.
"N-no," the girl says. "I … the last thing I remember is, is heading to the lighthouse with you. I c-can't rewind either. It's gone. I … guess this is … what happens when I photojump. The Max who's left behind…" She looks out again onto the bay. "I can't…"
Chloe storms to the edge. Max left her, and now everyone's going to die anyway. Except her and this random girl. What was the point?
Turning, she sees the girl crying, hands pawing at her eyes. Despite herself, she feels bad so she walks back and puts an arm around the girl's shoulders. Maybe she isn't Chloe's Max, and she isn't this girl's Chloe, but the girl turns into the hug anyway, crying against her chest. Chloe wraps her other arm around her, and looks out into the destruction.
It's horrific. She's never seen a storm with this intensity. Even glancing at the town makes her shake. Her mom's in that somewhere. Step- David, too, saving Victoria Chase.
Victoria. Justin. Frank, even. All of those people down there, maybe dying, maybe dead. Because…
Shit.
She makes herself keep watching, even as tears leak from her eyes, because she can't not watch. They're dying because Max saved her. Because Max has gone to a different fucking reality, to let another Chloe die for another set of people.
It would be so easy to blame Max for this.
I gotta blame somebody. Otherwise it's all my fault. Fuck that.
She can't. Even now, she can't look at this and think this isn't … it can't be because she…
Fuck.
The wind dies down. The rain lessens. Thunder stops rolling and the skies clear of lightning. She looks over the cliff edge and-
"Is it bad?"
The girl let go of Chloe some time ago, but she hasn't been able to do more than look occasionally at the storm. Chloe keeps staring over the edge as she says, "Town's totalled."
She hears a sharp inhale. A few seconds later, the girl stands next to her, looking at what used to be Arcadia Bay. Chloe thinks she hears a muffled sob. For a second, she feels awkward. She's so … so angry that Max chose the entire fucking town over her and now the entire town is gone and so is Max. But this girl … she had no choice at all and now…
She turns away and kicks a pebble towards a nearby tree. "Fuck!"
After a few seconds, she hears footsteps. A hand timidly touches her shoulder. "Ch-Chloe-"
Chloe shakes her off. "Just…" She breathes in, a hiss through clenched teeth. "We should…"
She has no idea what they should do. If Max had chosen her, maybe she'd suggest they get out of town. That feels … wrong, somehow.
"We have to go down there," the girl says softly. "We should see if anyone's…"
"They're not," Chloe says.
"You don't know that."
She's right. She doesn't.
"People are dead, Chloe."
Chloe looks away. "You can say it."
"I just did."
"Not that. I mean … because of me. People are dead because of me. That's why you think we should-"
Small hands (familiar hands) take hers. "No, Chloe. I, I would never think that. This isn't you. This is … I don't know. I'm starting to think maybe it's because I messed with time. I don't know."
Of course. This girl didn't know how this happened. She didn't know there was a choice to make.
"It's me," she says. "That's why…" Chloe swallows. "We worked it out. Saving me in that bathroom, it set all of this off. Max went back to … to…"
"Oh," says the girl.
Then.
"Fuck her."
Chloe's gaze snaps towards her. "What?"
"Fuck her. After everything we did this week, she just … let you die? Messing with time caused the storm so she's messing with it more? She's an asshole."
"It's not her fault," Chloe says. "I told her to do it. What was she supposed to do? Let my mom die? You saw the storm – what would you have done?"
The girl's hands leave Chloe's, as her arms wrap around herself. "I…"
"Exactly."
They stand there, not looking at each other, for some time.
Then the girl says, "She's not your Max."
"What?"
"I'm the Max from this timeline. She made us not go to the party. She was at the lighthouse. She photojumped into this reality and took over me. And now she's gone and taken over some other Max's life."
"You've photojumped too."
"I know."
Chloe looks at her. She wants to scream and shout but it sort of makes sense. Max said she wouldn't remember telling Chloe not to go to the party.
She rubs the back of her head before saying, "Uh. Did Jefferson ever hurt you?"
"N-No," Max says. "You told me he did but … I don't remember it. You said I said to tell David to go to the underground bunker. To save Victoria."
Chloe doesn't know what to say or do. Which Max is her Max? Because the Max on the cliff went through hell for Chloe. This Max…
Max – and she knows it is Max, of some kind – shakes her head. "Chloe, we have to go down there. I … if this is me messing with time then I … I can't keep fucking up."
Chloe closes her eyes. "Max-"
"I know it's horrible but please. I can't do it without you."
She exhales. "Sure, Max. Let's go."
The walk down the cliff is awful. She doesn't know what to say, and she knows this Max doesn't know what to say either. Maybe this is the Max she grew up with, the Max who's been with her this week (but maybe, there have been loads of different Maxes, and this is a different one again. How would she know?), but this is a Max who had to watch the town die because of someone else. This is a Max who didn't get saved by David. A Max who didn't kiss her on the clifftop.
The closer they get to the beach, the paler the girl becomes. Sometimes, she glances at Chloe, but the punk just looks ahead. Her hands pat her pockets, feeling the reassuring lump of cigarettes and a lighter. God, she could use a smoke right now.
They reach her truck and climb in. Max's fists are clenched as Chloe starts it up and drives into the city, manoeuvring to avoid debris.
They find their first body just a few minutes into the suburbs. It's a middle-aged man, lying on the sidewalk, blood surrounding a skull which has been caved in by something or other. Chloe stares, just stares, because it's awful and it could have been prevented if-
She keeps driving but their second body is just a few metres away: an old woman, lying twisted in a gutter. She wants to speed up but the road is too uneven for that.
The third body is a little girl. She stops the truck this time because Max's head is in her hands and she's shaking. So Chloe holds her, like she did on the cliff, and tries to look everywhere but at that small body. Tries not to think about that body. Tries not to think that in some other reality, that little girl is walking around but in this one, Chloe's here instead.
Once Max is sort of composed, Chloe starts the truck again. She doesn't look for bodies now.
They stop after a few more minutes, closer to the centre. Devastation has reigned everywhere – roofs crashed in, buildings toppled, trees blocking pathways, cars on their sides.
And more bodies. When she gets out, the smell nearly makes her retch. She forces herself to hold it in. Max stands next to her. She doesn't know who reaches for who, but their hands capture each other.
"Chloe…" Max breathes.
"We should look," she says, even though she was the one who said everyone was dead. She knows what Max is thinking. This was not a normal tornado. Normal tornadoes don't do this. This is like God Himself came and tore up everything.
Max nods. Her hand grips Chloe's so tightly that it almost cuts off her circulation, but Chloe says nothing. She won't break down. Not now.
(Fuck Max, she thinks, thinking of the Max who left this reality, fuck her for leaving me to this.)
They try to enter a building but as soon as Chloe puts one foot through the doorway, the floor shakes. She jumps backwards as the doorway collapses. Is that even physically possible? Maybe it is, but Chloe wouldn't put anything past this fucked up world anymore. They make their way to the next building. Chloe's jaw tightens. They go in.
The stairs have collapsed, as has the back half of the house. They clamber over mess and head into the first accessible room. Nothing. They go into the next one and-
Chloe retches this time. Max tugs her back out.
Once outside, they look at each other. Max won't meet her eyes. Chloe still doesn't know what to say. The air around them is deathly silent.
They try the next building, but it's more of the same. The next is a heap of rubble. The next…
Eventually – Chloe couldn't say how long it is – Max says, "Maybe we should…" She still won't look at Chloe. "Did … did other Max say where Joyce and, and people like Alyssa or … where they were?"
Chloe thinks. "No. But my mom would've…" She coughs. "The diner. Mom would be … there."
"Should we … go?"
Chloe should have gone there immediately, she knows. She doesn't know why she stayed here, hunting through rubble and bones for people she doesn't even fucking know.
(She's scared. She knows she'll find-)
They climb into the truck and manoeuver as much as they can through the debris. It's slow work and eventually they get back out and walk, because it's not that far and the truck won't make it any further. It's still silent. Nothing moves.
She doesn't recognise it at first, because the top has been blown right off, including the sign. It's only when Max gasps and points that she realises what she's looking at. Max is actually pointing at the giant beached whale but the building – if you can call it that – is definitely the Two Whales. Was the Two Whales.
She breaks free of Max and hurls herself forwards. The younger girl shouts to be careful but she can't listen to that. She should have come here immediately. Her mom might have been here. She climbs through a shattered window, cutting her leg in the process but fuck it, and-
She sees Warren first, though she's not sure how she recognises him, given the mess his body is. Warren beat up Nathan Prescott for them. He made friends with Max. He was a dork but he was actually a halfway decent fucking human being, and now he's-
She climbs through the mess. There's been some kind of explosion in here. But with each body she passes that isn't her mom, she can't help feeling hopeful. Maybe she wasn't here. Maybe she-
She falls to her knees at the mess of burns that cover her mom's body.
She knew.
Deep down, she knew.
Her mom deserved so much more than being blown up in a goddamn, piece of shit, fucking diner. Her mom who finally, finally had taken her side over David's. Who only wanted the best for her.
She doesn't know how long she kneels, sobbing, trying to pretend it isn't her mother lying here, that if she went back to her house, her mom would be there. She dimly feels Max's arms around her, head buried in her shoulder and tears soaking her shirt, the same way they'd been when they found Rachel and Jesus Christ, is everyone she loves doomed to die? Does the universe actually hate her that fucking much?
Eventually, she shifts, and Max stands. Chloe stands too, wiping her eyes. For the first time, she sees Frank's body, lying just metres away, but she feels numb now.
"Chloe-"
Chloe shakes her head. "Let's go."
"I-"
"They're dead, Max. All of them. Everyone's fucking dead."
Immediately, Max's arms are around her. Chloe thought she'd run out of tears. Turns out she was as wrong about that as she was about thinking Max photojumping would fix everything.
They walk back to the truck. Without discussing it, Chloe reverses and drives until she finds a clearish road to leave Arcadia Bay. She glances over at Max. The girl's eyes are red; she looks broken.
As they leave the town, she sees ambulances and military trucks. Someone runs after them, shouting for them to stop, but she keeps going. She has nothing to say that they won't discover for themselves. If they want to pin the town's destruction on her and Max as homicidal killers, well, even better. Not too far from the truth.
The sun is high and bright, and she has to take her black shirt off. Max, maybe guessing Chloe's thoughts, glances at her phone and says, "It's in the mid-seventies."
"Jesus. Does that happen after storms?" But even as she says it, she realises the roads out here are clear. The trees are where they should be. The storm was never here.
Still, Max says, "I don't know."
They fall silent again.
After maybe an hour or so, Chloe pulls off, towards a gas station. She brakes, then hears a rumble. She flinches, then realises it's just Max's stomach. She can't help laughing, which makes Max's lips curl into a smile.
"We need some gas," Chloe says. "We should get food as well." She pauses and pats her pockets. "Uh. D'you have any cash on you? My card's…"
Max nods. "My card will work, I think."
"OK then."
She hops out of the truck. Max does the same. Once, the punk probably would have held the door open and made a joke, but she feels too … something. Tired. Angry. Fuck knows. So she loops round and starts to fill the tank. Max waits to the side, fidgeting.
When Chloe's ready, they walk into the store. Max picks up a basket, which is probably a sensible idea because, actually, Chloe can't remember when she last ate. She lets Max take the lead in picking out the food. She'd just pick something stupid: junk, probably. Plus it's Max's money. Plus … she's just not in the mood. Her mom's body is lying, burnt, in a fucking diner. Rachel is buried in a junkyard. And in some other reality, she's lying, bleeding, on a bathroom floor.
Someone gently nudges her. She jumps before realising Max has already filled the basket. There are sandwiches, fruit, bread, cheese. Water. A few sweets. Cereal bars.
"Good job, Super Max," she says without thinking. Max flushes, looking pleased, and despite everything, it's actually kind of adorable. Together, they walk to the till and hand the basket over. Chloe nods when the cashier asks if the truck's hers. They're the only people parked in the forecourt.
"Weird weather, huh?" the man says, bagging the items. "October never gets this warm. Global warming, am I right?"
"Yeah," Max says softly.
"Yeah. You hear about that storm down in Arcadia Bay? Saw it on the news a little while ago. Whole place is flattened."
Max flinches. Chloe feels irritation build up.
"Yeah," she says through gritted teeth. "We heard."
"God. Imagine that. A whole town, gone. Didn't know tornados could even do that." He pauses. "Hey, uh, you alright there?"
Max is shaking. Instinctively, Chloe puts an arm around her. "We know people in Arcadia Bay so if you could…" She makes a zip it motion with her spare hand.
The man pales. "I'm sorry. I'm sure they're alright."
Chloe nudges Max, who hands over her card. Once paid, they take the food and turn.
The man says, "Hey, uh, I don't wanna pry but, uh, you two OK? Your pants are, uh…" He pauses. "Is that blood?"
"We're fine," Chloe says curtly.
"But-"
"I said we're fucking fine."
"OK, OK, Jesus."
They leave the store. They put most of the food in the back. Max hands her a sandwich and a bottle of water. She eats it in a few bites and gulps half the bottle down. Max, on the other hand, just stares at her sandwich. When Chloe nudges her, she eats.
She thought Max was the one who was coping. One of them has to be the one coping otherwise…
They get back in the truck. Chloe hits the pedal and they drive down the highway.
She's been going maybe fifteen minutes when Max says, "Where are we going?"
It's a good question.
"We're heading north," Chloe says. They are driving north so it's not a lie.
"To my parents?"
She shrugs. "Guess so. You called 'em?"
"No." A soft sigh. "What'm I supposed to say?"
"That you're alive?" She takes her eyes off the road for a second to shoot Max an incredulous look. "Jesus, Max. They must be worried sick."
"I-"
She pulls over. She doesn't know why this has become so suddenly important, but it has. "Call your parents."
"But-"
"Max. They think you're dead. Call them."
"And say what? That because I fucked around with time, everyone in Arcadia Bay is dead? Or because some other version of me fucked around with time, everyone's dead. And that version went off to let you die in a bathroom because she's an asshole."
Chloe is staring at her. Then she shakes her head. "Max, just call them. Tell them you're alive and you're coming to see them."
"You don't-"
"At least you have parents to call, OK? Know who's the only person who gives a shit that I'm alive? You. And I don't even know which Max you are."
Max stares at her for a few seconds. Then she takes her cell out of her pocket, flicks through a few screens and presses something.
Almost immediately, someone picks up.
"Yeah," Max says. "Yeah, Mom, I'm, I'm alive. It's me, I promise. Yeah, yeah, I am. I … I got lucky. Chloe and I, we went to the lighthouse and, uh, it was out of the way. We stayed up there. Um. Yeah. No, I'm, uh, I'm O-OK. I, I am. I…"
Chloe gets out of the truck as Max starts to cry into the cell. She figures she probably needs some privacy.
She's nearly finished her cigarette when Max opens the truck door, to indicate that it's OK for Chloe to come back in. The younger girl's eyes are red again, and her voice is husky. Chloe takes a few more drags before dropping the cigarette to the ground and stamping it out. Then she climbs back in.
"All OK?"
Max nods. "They've sent me some money. They said to find somewhere to sleep for today. They're worried about you driving since you were up all night and then…"
"What'd you tell them? About the storm?" she asks, curious despite herself.
Max's fingers fidget. "That when the storm hit, we were near the beach so we ran to the lighthouse. And got lucky. And that I feel awful about not being able to … that we couldn't…" She swallows. "You were right, Chloe. I should have called them. I'm a shitty daughter and a shitty friend."
"Max-"
"We, we should go. Dad says there's a motel about ten minutes from here."
"Max-"
"Please, Chloe."
Chloe relents and starts to drive. The brunette leans her head against the window, looking out into the road. Chloe reaches out and rubs her shoulder in what she hopes is a comforting way. Max glances back at her. She doesn't smile but something in her seems to soften a little.
After another ten minutes or so, Chloe pulls off and follows the signs until they reach a motel. Her heart is in her mouth when she shows her fake licence, but it works, like it always does. Or maybe this isn't the sort of place that asks questions.
When they get to their room, the exhaustion hits. She's kept going through sheer adrenaline. But even looking at the bed makes her want to close her eyes.
"Maybe we should sleep for a few hours, eat and then sleep properly," Max says softly, her voice cutting through Chloe's exhaustion. "So we don't mess up our body clocks."
Chloe yawns. "Yeah, sure. Left or right, Maximus?"
"…Right."
The punk crawls onto the left side of the bed and pulls herself under the covers. She's asleep almost as soon as her head hits the pillow.
She's used to nightmares of her dad.
Her mom and David joining him is new though.
When she wakes, she does so gasping, her back covered with sweat. Max, lying next to her, doesn't seem to be much better.
For a moment, neither speaks. Then Chloe leans over to hit the light switch. Max doesn't react, just grips the blanket, her knuckles deathly white.
Since she sure as fuck doesn't want to start talking about nightmares, she says, "Morning. Is it dinner time? What have we got?"
Max shakes her head, as though trying to dislodge something. "Bread and cheese. And some fruit."
"Yum," Chloe says, hating the fake cheer in her voice. "That's what they give to prisoners, you know."
Max tries to smile. "Have you done something naughty, Chloe?"
From anyone else, it would sound like an innuendo. From Max, it's just a joke. But Chloe's retort dies on her lips because … well.
Max shuffles next to her and wraps an arm around her. "I'm sorry."
Chloe leans her head on top of Max's. "'S OK. Let's just eat, yeah, Max? C'mon, I'll split it between us."
She proceeds to do exactly that. They find some small plates in one of the cupboards, though she knows she's making a mess with the crumbs. Maybe they can hoover afterwards.
For a couple of minutes, they focus on eating. Then:
"Chlo?"
"Yeah?" Chloe says, mouth half full.
"What … what'd other Max say on the cliff? You said you guys worked out our powers messed up everything and she went back but…"
Chloe hesitates but maybe this Max deserves the truth. "We … she told me it was her powers. I had the photo so I … gave it to her. Said she should just do it, you know, save everyone. She said no but … I wanted her to. Figured, all those times she, you, saved me this week, it was my time." She coughs. "I told her to make those fuckers pay for what they did to Rachel and that this week was … the best farewell gift. Then…"
"Chloe?"
Chloe doesn't look at her as she says, "She kissed me. Then I told her to go and, uh, boom, suddenly you're there nearly toppling off the cliff and I'm like, well, shit, if she dies then we're all fucking toast. So I went to save your ass for once but hey, once again, you don't need me."
"Chloe-"
"Hey, we can't all be badass, I guess."
Max chews silently for a few seconds. Then she says, "Thanks."
"No problemo, Maximo." Max's brow is furrowed, in the cute way it usually is when she's thinking. But she doesn't seem willing to share, and Chloe doesn't want to probe so she says, "I'm gonna smoke. I'll go outside."
The hipster smiles slightly at that. Chloe stands and grabs her cigarettes and lighter. She wishes she'd thought to buy another pack at the gas station. She opens the door, walks outside and-
"Holy shit!"
"Chlo? Are you OK?"
Chloe ducks back inside. "Yeah. Just wasn't expecting the fucking Arctic when I opened the door."
Max frowns. "After how hot it was…"
"Yeah, well, guess we found the cold snap." She checks her phone as she sits back down next to Max. "It's about thirty-seven apparently."
"Really?"
"Dude, check it yourself."
"I believe you. It's just weird"
"Yeah, well, it's also there."
"Yeah but why would it suddenly get so…" Her eyes widen and she pales. "Chloe?" she says quietly. "What d'you think happens to the timelines that the other Max isn't in?"
It feels like she's been punched but she says, "Shit, I don't know, Max. I didn't even know you could switch timelines till yesterday."
"D'you think … maybe the timelines she abandoned – I abandoned – die? Like … they fall apart?"
"Shit happens," Chloe says, not looking at her. "This could be, like, anything."
"Like the beached whales or the snow or the eclipse?"
Chloe closes her eyes. "Or maybe it's an aftermath of that fucked up tornado."
"That levelled an entire town. That's impossible. Tornados don't kill entire towns."
"Yeah, well, sorry if I don't think what's impossible matters anymore." She looks away. "Max, is it so hard to think that maybe … maybe it doesn't have to be shit? Why can't I just not have a fucked up life, for once?"
Max shuffles next to her and puts her arms around Chloe's waist again. "Chlo-"
"Shit, Max. I do one good thing in my life and you're telling me the Bay wasn't enough? Now I've killed the fucking world? Maybe I should've hurled myself off the cliff instead. Done everyone a favour."
"Don't say that."
"Why not? 'S true, isn't it? All this shit started when you saved my ass in that bathroom and … shit, I guess it wasn't you but the other Max, she saw me get killed by Jefferson and … fuck. All those times I was meant to die."
"It's not you. It's the other Max. She's the one who did this."
"By saving my ass." She sighs. "Shit, Max. Maybe you're right. It's stupid but I … I kinda always thought of it like, you were the ocean or some stupid shit like that. You're the one who actually does stuff, gets them what they need. People love you and you reach out to everyone, do good shit for everyone. I'm better off just being an island by myself. I'm like some little stupid pebble that gets in people's shoes."
Max clutches Chloe tighter; when Chloe looks, she isn't smiling. "We were a team, Chloe. We are a team. I couldn't have done half the things I did this week without you. You're the one who came up with the good ideas. You're the one who, who got me those powers." She nestles a little closer and puts her head on Chloe's shoulder. Chloe tentatively frees her arm from her side and places it around Max. "You are the most important person in my life now." Chloe shivers. "What?"
"You said that on the cliff. That I was your priority."
"Huh," Max says. "I'd say great minds think alike but at least I stand by what I said."
Which makes Chloe snort because, as far as she can tell, they're almost identical, this Max and the other Max. And maybe all the other Maxes. For a moment, she wants to ask Max if she's sure she's the girl Chloe grew up with, because if she did this photojumping thing as well, she could be a different one. But maybe it doesn't matter at this point. It's not like this Max can leave this reality now.
They sit quietly for a few minutes. Despite everything, it feels comforting to have Max this close to her. Natural, almost. But when she glances at the hipster, she can see her brow is furrowed again, so she asks what she's thinking.
"Just about what a shitty friend I was. Am. And how I never apologised for not keeping in touch and, and for what happened to your mom and what happened to Rachel."
She exhales, not wanting to think about Rachel and definitely not wanting to think about her mom. "Why didn't you? Keep in touch, I mean."
Max is quiet for so long that Chloe thinks she won't answer. But then she says, "I didn't know what to say. About William. I didn't know how to help and I was scared I'd mess everything up if I tried. Plus I was so nervous about everything in Seattle that I kept putting it off till one day, I just … assumed you'd have forgotten me anyway. It was a shitty thing to do. I know."
"I never forgot about you. I used to … shit, around the time I met Rachel, I used to write to you, you know? All these letters I never sent. I just wanted my best friend. Rachel helped me to stop focusing on the past but…"
"I didn't deserve it."
"You've made up for it, Maximax," the punk says softly. "All this week. All the shit you've done for me. Like I said to other Max – I've laughed and smiled this week like I haven't done in years." She looks at their room door. "If I've got this second chance, maybe I could get my GED. Try to make my mom proud. Or become a car mechanic or something I'm good at. See LA, like Rachel and I always said we would."
"That sounds nice," Max murmurs, before yawning.
Chloe smiles. "C'mon, Maxaroni. Time for bed again. We can talk depressing shit on the drive tomorrow." She can't help grinning as she adds, "It is cold so maybe we should, y'know, share body heat."
She expects Max to make a joke or get flustered but she just smiles and says, "I'd like that."
She still has nightmares but this time, when she wakes up, the feel of Max within her arms, their legs tangled together, calms her. She falls back to sleep in no time.
As they start the drive the next morning, Max says, "How long are we gonna stay in Seattle for?"
If she'd asked yesterday, Chloe might have suggested that Max stay in Seattle and Chloe move on. But today, Chloe says, "I dunno. If I can find somewhere to sleep, as long as you like."
"My parents will let you stay with us."
"Not for long, I bet." She lets go of the steering wheel to ruffle Max's hair. "Let's just get you there first." She looks out onto the highway. It's cooler than yesterday, but humid, with no breeze at all. She feels a bit better, having slept and eaten now. "I don't know, Max. I hated Arcadia Bay so much but … I never wanted this to happen. And my mom…"
"Chloe?"
She shakes her head, trying not to think...
"I'm fine," she says a bit too loudly. "Man, I wish I had some weed with me. Help take the edge off." She scowls. "Mind if I turn the radio on?"
Max shakes her head, so Chloe switches it on. At first, she can almost pretend they're on a road trip – not that she knows what those are like – and she can forget about all the, the shit she saw yesterday. She's just driving with her best friend, to visit her best friend's parents.
(Her cell ran out of battery midway through the night. She doesn't care. Who's she going to call anyway?)
The news comes on. Suddenly, the truck is filled with an update on the situation in Arcadia Bay, confirming what Chloe already knows. No survivors have been found. The place has been wrecked. Scientists are baffled as to where the tornado came from or how it could have been so destructive. It's like a war zone. Reports that a truck was seen leaving are unconfirmed and-
Max turns the radio off. When Chloe glances at her, she's fidgeting with her bag, eyes closed but not peaceful closed.
"I couldn't listen to it anymore."
So they drive in silence, which normally she'd hate but the driving helps her not think. It's not even deep thoughts that she's worried about. Like, right now, she's thinking about how she has a craving for bacon and if she could, she'd go to the Two Whales and-
"Hey, Max?" she says before that thought can go any further.
"Yeah?"
"Um…" She tries to think of a topic. A nearby sign provides her with the answer. "Crazy idea but should we turn off here and get clothes? 'Cause I know we showered and all but we do smell hella fresh."
Max rubs her arms. "Uh, sure. Underwear would be good actually. I feel kinda gross."
(They slept in their underwear last night. She's trying not to think about Max looking like that.)
"Let's go then."
She takes the next turning and drives to the outlet store she saw a sign for. She hoped maybe this would help take their minds off everything, but it really doesn't. Chloe tries to goof around with weird outfits, and Max smiles, but it's forced. Eventually, she just picks a black t-shirt and some blue pants from the bargain bin. Max goes for similarly plain clothing but she somehow manages to make it look hot. They change in the restrooms and then walk back to the truck.
Outside, they notice that flowers nearby are being unearthed by small rodents. All over the nearby grassy area. It's almost haunting to watch. They trade nervous glances, before getting in the truck, slamming the door and hitting the gas.
At first, the ride up to Seattle is silent. Neither of them wants to hear more news.
They're maybe twenty minutes away from Max's house when the hipster says, "That park looks amazing at sunset."
Chloe glances out of the corner of her eye. "You'll have to show me."
"I will. I wanna show you all my favourite spots. I bet you love them as much as I do."
Chloe smiles at her. "I'm sure I will."
The Caulfields nearly burst into tears when they open their front door to find the girls there. Max is almost immediately swept into a storm of parental hugging and kissing, while Chloe tries not to look awkward. And tries not to think that the last time she hugged-
"Is that Chloe Price?" Max's dad booms. He looks her up and down. "Good God, you've grown."
Her lips kind of smile. "Hey, Mr C."
"Oh, Chloe," Max's mom says, arm still around her daughter. "Max told us about … we're so sorry. If there's anything we can do, please just let us know."
"Um, actually, Mom, we were hoping Chloe could stay here for a while," Max says. "She, um, doesn't have anywhere to go."
That stings, even though it's true. Maybe her parents' relatives would take her in, but they've never been there when her mom needed them before, so why would they now?
Mrs Caulfield, however, says, "Of course you can stay with us, Chloe. We'll make up the guest bedroom for you."
She'd kind of been hoping she could sleep in Max's room, but she smiles that forced smile again and says, "Thanks, Mrs C. That's hella cool of you to do." She rubs the back of her head. "I'll try not to be in your hair too much. I, uh, was thinking of finding work. Soon as I can, I'll move out."
Max turns to her, alarmed. "You don't have to do that yet. You said you might try to get your GED."
Gee, thanks for telling your folks I'm a dropout, Chloe thinks. But she knows that isn't what the younger girl means. So she puts her arm around her. "I know, Maxaroni. But, uh, I can't just freeload off your parents." She can see her friend look surprised, maybe because the Chloe who still had a mom would have been happy to do that. "I wouldn't go far. Not without you."
Mr Caulfield coughs. "Maybe you girls should come in and get settled. Do you have any more stuff?"
They trade looks. "No," Max says, looking at the bag of food and the bags with their dirty clothes. "We, uh, didn't have a chance to grab anything."
This seems to prompt another emotional response from Mrs Caulfield, who hugs Max tightly. Chloe glances at Mr Caulfield, who actually looks pretty teary himself. Eventually, they let go, and the girls go in.
Max's mom takes Chloe's clothes to wash, meaning that when Chloe enters the made-up guest bedroom, she just sits on the bed. Apart from those clothes, her worldly possessions are: her cellphone (dead); a quarter-full pack of cigarettes; her lighter; a parking ticket; a few cents; a wallet containing a credit card with no credit and a fake ID; her truck (including keys to said truck); and keys to a house that no longer exists. It's pretty pathetic.
She looks at her hands, feeling suddenly very tired and numb. These hands dug up Rachel's body. How is it fair that someone like Rachel is dead and rotting in a fucking junkyard, but someone like her can still be here?
Max thinks the world is ending. Chloe isn't sure she cares anymore. Her entire world's already been destroyed. What does it matter if everything else is too?
A knock on the door makes her jump. She looks up to see Max, looking a little nervous. She's changed into clothes that definitely didn't come from a bargain bin. Her satchel is, as always, slung over her shoulder. If Chloe hadn't seen for herself, she'd believe Max slept with that bag on.
"Dad was wondering whether you wanted to get more clothes."
Chloe grimaces. "I'm outta dough, Max."
Max fidgets. "He says he'll pay."
It's tempting. The old Chloe would have been waiting by the car already. But her mom would be angry that she accepted someone else's charity. Rachel would have reminded her to be self-sufficient. Even David would have told her she could work for that money.
"Chloe?"
She shakes her head. "I'm OK." She looks around the room. Max always had more money than her and it's never felt more apparent than now. In fact, Max only got dragged into all sorts of shit because of Chloe. She deserves so much better. Chloe was delusional, thinking she might want her. Her hands clench on her knees. "I … it's cool of your parents to let me crash but I better move on tomorrow." She sees Max's eyes widen. "Not, like, out of the city. Like I said, you don't get rid of me that easily. But I should do my own thing."
"Where would you sleep?"
Chloe shrugs. "I'll find somewhere. If not, there's always my truck. I slept a few times in the junkyard, did I ever tell you?"
But Max is shaking her head. "Chloe, don't be … my parents would never let you leave if they thought you had nowhere to go. They want to help."
"I can't accept it."
"Why not?"
"Because … because I'll ruin it, that's why. I'll just fail or piss them off, or, or cause another tornado and then they'll…"
She nearly puts her hands to her mouth. She didn't mean to say that. Didn't mean to be so vulnerable. She has to-
"That won't happen. None of that will. You are awesome. And you didn't cause the tornado." Max gently takes one of Chloe's fists from her knee, laces their fingers together, and with her other hand pushes some of Chloe's hair back. Chloe nearly crumbles. "Besides, you know if you leave, I'll just follow you."
The unwavering devotion in Max's face almost makes Chloe forget that this is the same girl who didn't fucking write to her for five years, who ghosted all her texts and didn't get in touch when she returned to Blackwell.
Chloe's changed a lot over this week. But so has Max.
"Max-" She sighs. "I … if I stay, I gotta pay it back one day, you know that, right?"
Max smiles. "That's fine. But for now, we'll deal with it together. OK?"
"…OK."
So for the second time that day, she goes clothes shopping. It helps that Max is also buying clothes. Chloe is reluctant to buy anything expensive, but she ends up with a decent array. Max's clothes are all typically hipsterish but she really pulls them off. It's kind of hard not to stare.
This time when they exit the shopping mall, it's dead mice lying everywhere. Max's dad wants to find out how they got there, but Max begs him to take them home, so he does.
Back at the house, Chloe dutifully puts the clothes away. Once that's done, and at a loss of what to do with herself, she heads downstairs to discover that Max's parents are already planning their lives. Chloe bites down on the urge to tell them to leave her alone. Despite what she said earlier, the prospect of being homeless isn't exactly appealing. She's still unhappy about Mr. Caulfield wanting to tell the authorities that Max and Chloe are alive, and Max points out that since their bodies won't be found there, there's no reason for anyone to think they're dead anyway, but he's hard to argue with, is Max's dad, so they leave him to it.
(Ultimately, this might not matter anyway. Not if the world is-)
They spend the evening watching TV. It takes a while to find something they can watch, because Max and Chloe can barely stomach any of it. The news is out from the get-go. Detective series make Max wince. Murder mysteries remind Chloe of Rachel, rotting in the ground. Real life dramas bring to mind girls falling from rooftops, and being drugged. They end up settling for some lame-ass comedy that makes Mr and Mrs Caulfield laugh, while Chloe tries to focus on it to the exclusion of everything else.
Outside, it hails. It's even colder than last night.
"Isn't the weather funny?" Mr Caulfield comments when he catches them staring out of the window. "It's like it can't make up its mind."
Max swallows. "Yeah."
She's already very close to Chloe, but when she twists her body towards her, Chloe reaches out and holds her in a sort of cuddle. The brunette relaxes a little. Chloe's actually not sure which of them needed this more. They spend the rest of the evening like that, all tangled together.
That night, she wakes, gasping. This time, her feet were caught in train tracks, and the train was being driven by Justin, Steph, Rachel, Frank, all these people she fucking let down.
Her mouth is dry so, heart thumping, she stands and navigates her way out of the guest bedroom, intending to get a glass of water. She's halfway down the stairs when she hears voices coming from the kitchen.
"Someone she loved went missing six months ago. And uh, we learnt a couple of days ago that she was murdered so … I don't want to … I don't know."
Chloe leans back against the wall, as though that somehow makes her less conspicuous.
"Oh, that's awful." She winces at the sympathy in Mrs Caulfield's voice. "Poor Chloe, she's been through so much."
"Yeah."
"I must say though, she's very different to how I remembered her."
"I thought that too," Max says, "But she's still Chloe. She … she's really funny and brave and strong and smart. Without her, I'd have fallen apart by now."
"It's rare to find someone who can make you feel like that, you know."
Chloe decides this might be the best time to interrupt, so she walks down the stairs noisily and enters the kitchen. As soon as she does, Max blushes, while Mrs Caulfield looks thoughtful. Apologising, she crosses to the sink and downs a glass of water. Max's mom suggests they all go to bed. She leaves first, a small smile on her face.
Outside, the hail's still going strong. Without thinking, Chloe extends her hand; Max takes it.
They walk up the stairs in silence. When they reach the landing, they pause, each waiting for the other to leave.
"I didn't sleep well," Chloe admits after a few seconds.
"No," Max says. "Me neither."
They look everywhere except each other.
Finally, Max murmurs, "I slept best when I was with you."
Chloe exhales. "D'you … uh … I mean, would you, uh-"
"Yeah. Yes."
So they go to Max's room. Max climbs in her bed first, and Chloe follows, looking around in the gloom as she does. This room is so hipsterish. Was her room at Blackwell-
Max's arms are around her and she buries her face in the crook of Max's neck. Their legs tangle together and it helps her forget that Blackwell is…
"Sorry," she murmurs, moving backwards slightly. "Didn't mean to grope you."
Max laughs softly. "That's OK."
She loves the feel of Max in her arms, so warm and solid and dependable. She loves how Max can be so fearless. How Max always makes her feel bold. How Max has always been better than her but still flawed. How Max, in the truck, saw something she thought was beautiful and her immediate reaction was to share it with Chloe.
Chloe said I love you to the Max who went through hell for her. She had her doubts, at first, about this Max. But at their heart, they're the same, aren't they? She doesn't know that she feels any differently about this one than the other one.
But. This Max might not have feelings for her. This one might think she's settling. This one has lost so many people, and so has Chloe, and who knows where the line between love and comfort is?
"What are you thinking?" Max murmurs sleepily.
"Deep thoughts, Caulfield. Gotta use my brainpower for something."
"Ha."
"How about you? What's going on in that brain of yours?"
"…Just that I've never slept like this with someone before."
"Oh." Chloe doesn't know whether that's just a statement or something more. "Well. Pleasure's all mine."
Max shifts a little. In the gloom, she looks adorable, almost curled up into Chloe. "It's nice. That's all."
"Yeah," Chloe says, looking at that curled up form. "It is."
If she tilted her head downwards, she could-
"Chloe?"
"Y-Yeah?"
"Who did you first sleep with?"
Chloe can't help smirking, despite her beating heart. "You saying I don't seem pure and virginal, Caulfield?"
"You carry condoms."
"OK. Creepy. Don't recall ever showing you condoms." Chloe considers, then shrugs. "It was a guy at Blackwell. Eliot Hampden. We hooked up after Dad died but it was hella lame, to be honest. Also, Eliot turned out to be a complete dickhead so, you know, not my proudest moment." She glances down at the other girl. "Not sure what your history's like but if you've not done it yet, wait till you find someone you really want to do it with. Don't fuck it up like I did and pick some fucking guy 'cause you're bored or lonely or fucked up."
Max doesn't say anything at first. Then she says, "You've slept with other people though, right?"
"Well…" Chloe sighs. "Yeah. I slept with another guy and then … Rachel. She was the only one I actually gave a shit about though, beyond friendship anyway. With her, it was … I dunno, fun. Nice. But we mainly did it when … fuck." She's glad Max can't see her face. "You know. We were high or drunk or, I dunno, just in the mood. Like, I'm not saying it didn't mean anything, or that we never did it 'cause it felt right, but I guess … it might've meant more to me than her. In hindsight. Fuck. I dunno. Hearing about her and Frank, it makes me … fuck."
"I'm sorry," Max says quietly.
She shakes her head. "It's OK, Maximax. Why'd you wanna know?" She forces herself to inject humour into her tone. "Want some tips? Some practical experience?"
"Depends. Is this gonna be a repeat of the kissing dare?"
It takes her by surprise but she rallies quickly. "Sure. I'm gonna dare you to fuck me in your parents' house. I'm a classy lay like that." She snorts, trying not to imagine what Max would look like, feel like, sound like if they- "Shit, dude," she says. "D'you know how hard it is to keep quiet when parents are … around…"
Just like that, something drains out of her. Her mom had definitely known that she and Rachel…
"You know," she says quietly, "I never came out to her."
"To who?"
"My mom. I mean. She knew. Shit, you saw my room. I wasn't exactly subtle. But. We never … we never talked about it. I thought…" It sounds bad now, to say it, but she says, "I thought Step D- David would be a fucking homophobe, and he might convince her to kick me out. As though he hadn't seen my fucking room or, shit, just known that Rachel sleeping over wasn't…" She squeezes her eyes shut. "I just wish I'd said, you know? Not shut her out."
Small hands stroke her back comfortingly. "It's OK, Chloe."
"Is it? Max, how … nearly everyone I've ever loved or, shit, even liked is dead. How d'you deal with that?"
Max is quiet for a long time. Finally, she says, "I don't know. I … I keep thinking of people like Kate, Dana, Alyssa and, God, Warren and … I don't know how you deal with it. I … I want to say if I could go back and do it over, I would but…" She blows out. "I don't want to lose you too. It's fucked up, to make a choice like that." Even more quietly, she says, "I'm kind of glad it wasn't me who had to pick."
Chloe nods. "Still think other Max is an asshole then?"
"I don't think time travel was the answer. I feel like she threw you away for nothing. But it wasn't me on the cliff." She pauses. "Even now, I keep finding myself trying to rewind when I can't, even though I know how that ended. Maybe I'm as bad as her."
They fall silent again. It's crushing, the thought of all those people dead because of her, because of them. She can't think of that, she just can't. She needs to say something, anything that can take them away from that.
"So, uh, what's your romantic history then?"
Max jerks with surprise. "Huh?"
"You made me spill about punching the v-card with dickbag Eliot. Who popped yours?" Max is silent. "OK. Not gonna ask if that's 'cause you've never done it, or don't wanna spill. Who was your first kiss then? Child friendly version here."
After a few seconds, Max mumbles, "You. Technically."
"Me?" Her eyes widen. "You mean your first kiss was when I dared you to kiss me? Dude, you should have said, I wouldn't have said if I'd kno-"
"I wanted to do it," Max says and Chloe shuts up. "You dared me but I still wanted to."
God. She remembers how she could barely summon up the courage to ask Rachel for a kiss. She wishes she could be as fearless, as resolved, as Max.
She tries to keep her voice light as she says, "Well, just so you're aware, I'm not gonna pop your cherry on a dare, in your parents' house."
Max laughs softly. "You're no fun."
Chloe's mouth is suddenly dry. But Max isn't serious. So she says, "One peck isn't really a … I mean, it lasted half a second. Hey, just like sleeping with the second guy did!" Max snickers. "Haven't you ever wanted to … properly kiss someone?"
"I guess I always thought I'd have time. With the world being the way it is now though, I…"
Chloe licks her lips, then surprises the hell out of herself when she says, "Then how about … um … how about we fix it? Just in case?"
Immediately, she wants to take it back. Stupid. Stupid. Max is never going to say yes. Max on the cliff kissed her but that was when she knew she'd never see Chloe again, after she'd gone to the Dark Room for her. Chloe's killed all of Max's friends and-
"Very generous," Max says. "This is the classy kisser you are?"
Shit.
"Alright," Chloe says. She fights to keep her voice amused. "I'll offer my services elsewhere. Seattle's bound to have loads of-"
"I, uh, I didn't say no."
Chloe pauses. It's dark, still, so she can barely see Max's expression.
"Uh … for real?"
She feels the hipster nod. "Yeah."
Slowly, she moves her hands from around Max's torso, to frame her face, tilting it up as Chloe leans down.
She kissed other Max but this feels different. That felt like desperation, and sadness, and grief. This is exploratory, gentle, a beginning.
She means to stop after a few seconds, but Max's hands loop around her neck, and she can't bring herself to pull away. Max feels soft and right, like everything she's ever imagined. Slowly, hardly able to believe it, she intensifies the kiss, letting her hands drift to rest on Max's hips. There's a little noise from the back of Max's throat and God, it makes it hard for her to stay slow.
Eventually, they move apart. Chloe licks her lips.
"So, uh, was that worth it?"
"Y-Yeah," Max says, voice hoarse. A pause. "Chloe?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you do that?"
Chloe opens her mouth to say something jokey, or humorous, but something about the fact that she can see Max looking down, rather than at her, makes her pause.
She can do this. After all this shit, she can do it.
For Max, for the girl who fought time to save her life, she can do it.
Slowly, she removes a hand from Max's hip and gently captures her hand with it. She feels Max look up at her.
"You're so fucking dorky," she says softly, "and beautiful and smart and badass. Shit, you would be prepared to destroy a whole fucking town for me. You stayed by my side all this week, and helped me look for Rachel. You tried to bring my dad back for me. And I know it wasn't you but other Max went through hell for me, and I know you'd have done the same. I just … Jesus, Max." She shakes her head. "The moment I saw you, it was like … like I never wanted you to leave." She hesitates. "Like things were finally the way they were meant to be."
"Oh." She sounds pleased. But then she says, in an uncertain way that Chloe has almost forgotten, "It's not because I tried to help or 'cause other Max kissed you or, uh, you and Rachel … is it?"
Chloe closes her eyes. "I loved Rachel. I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't but … even before she disappeared, part of me expected her to go without me. She was never … I didn't always think we felt the same. And it doesn't change what I feel for you now." She breathes in. "And yeah, other Max kissed me but the only difference between you and her for me is the moment at the party, and the cliff. It's … it's more than that, OK? I just … I can't remember the last time I felt so complete with someone, felt like someone is with me rather than pulling me along."
Max moves her hand from Chloe's, to sling it over the punk's body instead. She nestles a little under Chloe's chin and it's like Chloe's heart doesn't know whether to speed up or slow down. "This week's been like nothing I've felt before," Max murmurs. "You make me feel like anything's possible, like I wanna be a better person. I … if you … wanted to … try, I … I want to, too."
Chloe can hardly believe this is happening. All of her half-assed teenage dreams. The fluttering in her chest when she saw Max for the first time in five years. It feels a little like she's in a dream.
"Serious?" she says.
"Totally cereal."
She snorts but can't keep from saying, "You … you don't think…"
"This feels like the best decision I've made all day."
Chloe gives up arguing at that, even though she feels like they should maybe discuss it more, check they're doing this for the right reasons. She falls backwards slightly, and Max sort of rolls a little on top of her, her arm slung across Chloe and her head using Chloe's chest as a pillow. Neither of them speak but the silence is comfortable. Warm contentment fills her.
If her mom could see her now…
She'd be happy for her.
And maybe that's enough.
"Hey, Max, rise and shine. This is what you get if you don't hear me kno- Chloe?"
Chloe drowsily opens her eyes to see Mr Caulfield standing over the bed, frowning at them. Max is still using her as a pillow. At least they have pyjamas on.
Max looks up then moves off Chloe. Her cheeks are flushed and it's adorable. "Um. Sorry, Dad. I didn't hear you."
"OK," he says slowly. "And the explanation for Chloe is?"
"Um…" Max glances at her helplessly.
"I had bad dreams," Chloe says. "Max let me sleep in here."
"Uh huh." He looks at them both and then sighs. "I'd say you need to be careful but I guess it's not like you're going to knock Max up."
"Dad!" Max blushes furiously, and looks at the blanket.
Chloe can't help smirking, even if the relief she feels is almost palpable. "It's cool, Mr. C. Clothing remained on at all times. We really were just sleeping."
"I'll take your word for it this time, Chloe." He hesitates. "But it's OK, you know. If you two are … it's OK."
They glance at each other. Neither of them seem to know what to say. Mr Caulfield tells them breakfast's nearly ready, and leaves.
Max glances down, fingers fidgeting. Chloe's heart sinks. She's changed her mind. All that stuff she said, she's thought it through and realised-
"Were you serious last night?" Max blurts.
"Huh?"
"About me. You never said if you wanted to…"
"I… I was but, uh, I get it if, you know, it was like a wave of emotion or something. It's cool, we, uh, we never have to mention it, like, ever agai-."
Max steps forwards, onto tiptoes, and kisses her, hands resting on her shoulders. It's not like the dare, because Chloe manages to fucking stand still this time.
"Shit, Max," she says when Max steps back. "You're hardcore."
"You said that the first time."
Chloe grins, puts her hands on Max's hips to pull her towards her and then kisses her, a little more fiercely than Max did. The hipster definitely has morning breath but she doesn't care. She wants to savour this forever.
But after half a minute or so, the younger girl steps back. "We need to get up. Or go eat breakfast."
"I can think of something I'd rather eat," Chloe mutters.
A hand smacks her shoulder. "Chloe!"
She grins. "Sorry, Maximus. Can't help myself. You're right though." She hesitates. "Your dad thinks we're at it like bunny rabbits. Should we-"
"I think they'll guess." Max smiles and holds her hand out. "Together?"
Chloe takes that hand, heart thumping. "Always."
Max's parents, to their credit, don't do more than smile when they see Chloe and Max walk in, hand in hand. Mrs Caulfield serves them breakfast with no commentary. Chloe digs in and it's good, it is, but it's not…
After what happened last night, she should be on cloud nine, but her throat aches. She barely remembers what the last meal her mom made for her was.
A hand rubs her knee comfortingly. She glances to the side to see Max looking at her from the corner of her eye with some concern. A sliver of her contentment returns and she smiles reassuringly. Max has her back.
Unless she leaves again. Like everyone does. Like she did before.
Mrs Caulfield interrupts her thoughts, saying, "I know it's a bit soon, but we thought we could look into the best way to re-enroll Max in school. Chloe…"
Chloe makes herself focus. "It's cool. I'll look for postings for a job while you guys do your sh- stuff. I can look round Seattle a bit too. I've never gone much outta Arcadia Bay, it'll be cool."
The Caulfields trade looks. Mrs Caulfield says, "There's one other thing. Ryan and I think it would be good for Max to see a counsellor-"
Max's head snaps up, panic in her eyes. "I'm not mad, Mom."
"Max, you saw a city get destroyed," her mother says. "You don't get out of that unscathed. We're going to book you an appointment. Our insurance will cover it." She hesitates. "Chloe-"
"'S fine," Chloe says quickly. "Seriously. You guys have already been hella awesome just letting me stay here. I don't need a counsellor." They still look guilty so she says, "If things get bad, I'll say." She glances out the window. "Hey, the hail stopped."
"Yep," Mr Caulfield says. "Still a bit warm though."
"And there was an earthquake down in Mexico, in Tijuana. I saw it on the news – one death and a few injuries but not too bad. But it started snowing when it stopped."
There's an awful pause. Max gulps audibly.
"Did you say … snowing?"
"Yes. How funny. It's usually so warm there."
"Yeah," Max says in a cracked voice. "Totally weird." She stands. "I think I'm done. Thanks, Mom."
"You hardly ate anything."
Chloe looks at her plate – nearly empty – compared to Max's, which only has little bits removed. "Max-"
The girl shakes her head. "I'm really full. I'll get my stuff ready."
She almost bolts out of the room. Chloe looks at the Caulfields.
"I'll, uh … go…" She hesitates. "Freaky weather happened before the storm so…"
Understanding dawns on their faces. Mrs Caulfield nods, so Chloe gets up and walks up the stairs. She's just turning to Max's room when she hears the sound of someone throwing up from the bathroom, so she knocks on the door.
After a few seconds, a pale and shaking Max opens it. The girl hesitates before throwing her arms around Chloe, who holds her tightly, not caring that the younger girl won't have had a chance to wash her mouth after vomiting.
Eventually, Max looks up. "Chloe," she says quietly, "the world is ending."
Her voice sounds hollow as she says, "C'mon, Max, you don't know that for sure."
But Max shakes her head. "Snow? Hail? Earthquakes? It's ending and I did that." She can hear the tears in her voice. "I can't watch my parents die. I can't watch you die. Not again."
The thought of seeing Max die hits hard, but she manages to say, "You didn't do shit, Max. The world's fucked up. And we're not gonna die."
"You didn't say that the night before last."
The night before last, she didn't know she could be with Max. She didn't have much of a reason to keep going.
"Yeah but maybe this is just time righting itself before shit gets back to normal," she says. "Think about it, shit's been weird but it's mostly not been dangerous. It could just be after-effects."
"I want to believe you," Max says, "but…"
Chloe hesitates. "OK, fine. Maybe think of it this way then. If it's ending, maybe it's not ending quickly. It could be years, decades, before it all falls apart. So … we could just try." Max doesn't respond. "Shit, Max. Your parents are trying to offer you the fucking world down there. D'you wanna go out terrified or d'you wanna go out knowing you're with people who love you, living the way you want to, being happy?"
Which is really fucking ironic for her to say but…
"I … I don't know how I can't be scared, Chlo." Max glances down. "I'll … I'll see."
Chloe kisses the top of her head. "We've got this. Go shower. It's going to be a normal fucking day, OK?"
Once she's alone in Max's room, Chloe closes her eyes and tries not to think of the world ending.
They hit the school first. Chloe wanted to head into Seattle, but Max didn't want her to leave, and hell if she's ever going to be able to say no to Max. So she waits outside in the parking lot instead because she's not going into the building – if she ever gets her GED, it's not going to be in fucking high school. Maybe she could do it online. Anywhere where she doesn't have to be in a shithole like Blackhell.
A flash of guilt hits her as she thinks about how Blackwell is gone, and people like Wells and Dana and Victoria are-
Fidgeting, she glances around. Maybe she should have gone in with the Caulfields. Not been left alone with her own thoughts. Not left alone with the thought that everyone's gone and it's because she was saved when she didn't deserve to be. She doesn't even have weed to take the edge off. Maybe she could have a smoke – it's hard to do it without the Caulfields noticing so really, this is the perfect opp-
A sound catches her attention and she looks up to see Max running out the front door of the school. Chloe steps in front of her, letting her charge into her.
"Hey," she says. "Maxaroni, what's wrong? You were barely there for any time at all."
Max is shaking in her arms. "I, I can't," she says. "I can't … all those people and … I heard a bang and I tried to rewind even though that's obviously a no-go and … I can't."
"Hey, it's OK," Chloe says, holding her tightly. "It's OK."
"I … shit. It's so stupid. It's just a school."
"No way, Max, c'mon. It's barely been any time at all. I was getting kinda … down as well."
"I said I'd try and I can't. Now my parents think I'm crazy and what'm I supposed to say to the counsellor anyway? Hi, I think I've killed the whole world?"
She rubs circles on her back. "You didn't do shit, Max. It's gonna be OK."
"No, it isn't, Chlo. Nothing will be."
It hurts but she keeps holding her, keeps her voice calm as she says, "After all the shit you've been through, stuff like this is gonna be hard. But you can lie to counsellors – they're not fucking detectives. Trust me, I saw a few, though mine were fucking useless. Tell 'em you feel guilty you survived, like you should've done more – it amounts to the same thing, doesn't it?" Max doesn't respond. Chloe can't blame her. It's not exactly useful advice. She decides to try again. "Your parents don't think you're crazy. They think you've seen something nobody should have to, which is true. I mean, shit, you didn't see me running in there." She pauses. "Maybe tell 'em you need time. You could come job hunting with me. Watch me epically fail for a bit, and then we can try again when you're ready."
"Chlo-"
"Trust me, Max."
Max pauses, then nods. She clings to Chloe until her parents come out, and even then, she keeps hold of Chloe's hand. For the first time, Chloe realises that Max has cried into her shirt.
As predicted by Chloe, Mr Caulfield immediately goes to hug his daughter, while her mom apologises for pushing her too much, too soon. When Max quietly asks if she can help Chloe in Seattle instead, her parents are clearly uncomfortable but agree when Chloe promises to take care of her, and to take her home if she needs it. A strange spark of pride fills her at their nodding. People don't usually trust her to be an adult.
It turns out that Chloe is fucking terrible at finding work and if her goal was to cheer Max up, it probably isn't working.
Hardly anywhere's even hiring and some places don't want a high school dropout. Others don't like her tattoos, or her blue hair, and she's pretty sure a couple just don't want a lesbian punk. Or maybe they just don't like her. Shit. She's always been fucking useless. She shouldn't be-
"Chlo. You OK?"
She turns to Max, who's looking at her with adorable concern. "Yeah," she says. "Just frustrated."
Max squeezes her hand and she can feel some of the tension ebb away. The brunette hasn't exactly perked up, but she's definitely calmer than she was this morning. "Maybe we should take a break."
They head into a nearby café. Chloe's still broke so Max orders and pays. Strong coffee for Chloe, just the way she likes it, and a ham and cheese toastie. Max gets coffee as well but some kind of hipsterish thing with too much soy milk and weird additions. At least she orders a bagel as well. Chloe half thought she'd try to starve herself.
They're waiting for their food when Chloe sighs and says, "So, to sum up today, neither of us has gotten what we wanted and I feel guilty as fuck for complaining." She sighs. "Rachel would've been all over this."
Max reaches across the table for her hand. The looks they get seem to bother Max less than they bother Chloe, which surprises her. Part of Chloe still isn't sure why Max would be so committed to her now, when for five years, she-
"We can keep trying if you want? Maybe not a bookstore though."
"I didn't know they were gonna make me do a fucking literature test on the spot! That's such bullshit!"
Max smirks, and Chloe feels her heart lighten. "I think you saying your favourite book is Little Miss Naughty lost you that one."
"C'mon, he clearly had a stick up his ass. I'm not gonna fit in somewhere where they make you do AP English. Jesus."
Max snickers, which makes Chloe smile. "All I'm saying is, let's look at things involving less customer service."
"Yeah, but that's all I'm qualified to do. It's not my fault I hate…" She trails off. "I have bad people skills."
Max squeezes her hand. "How about, uh, I dunno, cars? You're good at cars aren't you?"
"I dunno. Most places need me to do a mechanic's course, I think, and I have fuck all. My mom's the one who had…" A horrible, horrible thought occurs to her.
It obviously occurs to Max as well. "Chloe, I wasn't suggesting-"
Chloe trembles as she says, "I … I can't touch her money, Max. I know she'd want me to use it for this but it … I never wanna look at it."
"I've got a toastie and a bagel here?" They both look up at a waitress. After a second, Chloe points at the toastie. Once their orders are in front of them, they expect the waitress to go, but she looks thoughtful. "Did I hear you say you're looking for a job?"
Chloe says, probably too quickly, "You're hiring?"
"No, but I heard something about cars? You good at them?" Chloe nods. "My husband's looking for new apprentice mechanics. He's keen to hire more women into his garage, and he's happy to sponsor people through the course."
Hope rises but she's felt like this too often to take it at face value. "Is that gonna require a GED?"
"Would that be a problem?" Chloe nods, trying to keep the disappointment from her face since obviousl- "Well … I think he's got some front of house desk work that you could do while studying." Chloe blinks. "Or the programme might include it. Let me give you his details anyway – he was complaining last night that he wants some decent applicants and he just doesn't know how to get more women into the business, so this feels like too good an opportunity to pass up."
"I…" Chloe shakes her head. "Thanks. I mean it. Thanks."
She shrugs. "If it stops him complaining, I'm happy to do it. Here you go."
She scribbles something down and passes her the details of a garage a few blocks away. Then she leaves them to it. Max looks across at her, stunned.
"That was lucky."
"Yeah…" She glances at the note. "Maybe there's hope yet, Maximus,"
"Yeah," Max says. "Maybe."
They go to the garage after lunch and chat to the owner, who asks her some on the spot questions that she answers with ease. Somehow, it's less annoying when he does it. He shows her around the garage and explains how he works. He's plain-talking but decent, and she likes that. Seeing her interest, he talks her through the course options, and together, they find one where she can do the GED alongside her training. Throughout the entire experience, she feels light-headed. She's actually doing this. This is happening to her and she's not fucking it up. This guy seems decent, he likes her, she likes the sound of what he's offering and...
They run into trouble when he asks for things like ID, or a credit card, or an address. Heart sinking, she explains that while she does have a credit card, the address is no longer … around. Stupid. She should have foreseen this.
Of course, he frowns. "Where d'you live then?"
She glances at Max. "Uh. I…" She breathes in and squares her shoulders. She will not fuck this up. She has this second chance and she told Max this morning they had to use it, so she will. "Dude, I'm gonna level with you," she says as firmly as she can. "I'm from Arcadia Bay. I'm staying with Max till I can get back on my feet. I've got jack sh- I don't have anything. That's why I'm looking for work."
"Arcadia…" His eyes widen. "The town in Oregon that got-"
Max is almost crushing her hand. "Yeah," Chloe says. "It … yeah. I'm not trying to get, like, pity or sympathy. It's just, uh, my house doesn't exist and my mom…" She swallows. "Max and I got lucky. We, uh, we'd gone away for an overnight trip, and by the time we got back it, uh, it was gone. So, yeah, that's why I have…"
"Jesus, kid. You better not be telling me a tale."
"She's not," Max says softly. "I can call my parents if you want. I went to school there. Uh…" She digs in her pocket and produces a card. "It's, uh, my student ID."
He looks at it. "Jesus," he says again. "OK. Uh. I'll write down where you're staying for now. But you need some ID. Work on getting that." He glances at the ID again. "Kid, Chloe, I'm sorry about your mom and … everything. Nobody should have to go through that. But I gotta say, it's amazing you're bouncing back so quickly and being so responsible. Your mom would be proud if she could see you, you know?"
The idea of her mom being proud of her just for this makes her choke. She mutters a thanks before they flee.
Now that they've possibly sorted out Chloe's life, they've no reason to be in central Seattle, but neither of them wants to go back yet. Max is clearly not in the mood for being a tourist so, instead, they stop in nearby Centennial Park. Chloe puts her arm around Max as they sit on a bench, looking across Puget Sound. When Max looks at her, she turns her head and gives her a soft peck on the lips. Max leans her head on Chloe's shoulder.
It feels wrong that she feels so happy and content.
"You know," Max says softly, breaking into her thoughts, "it was good, seeing you so into the mechanic stuff today."
"I like it," Chloe admits sheepishly. "Doing something useful and practical. Seeing it all fit together. It's like a puzzle."
"I guess I can see that." Her voice is thoughtful. Chloe wonders if she's still upset from earlier. "Outta interest, d'you ever miss science?"
"Yeah. Sometimes. But … I didn't realise school could make it so boring. I like learning my own way, you know?" She glances at Max. "Tell me, little Max. Why haven't you taken any pictures?"
Max freezes. "I dunno," she says after a few seconds. "I just haven't felt like it. It feels like, if I try, I'll fuck something else up. Or that there's all these people dead because of me, and then I'm taking photos and … it's not right."
"You think Warren and Kate and your other friends would be mad that you're taking photos?"
"Why should I get to do what I love when they can't? OK, maybe it's other Max who started all of this but … it still feels like it was me who did it."
"Yeah," Chloe says. "I know how you feel. But I think they'd let you have it Max. You didn't cause that fucking tornado. You went to look for everyone. You … well, other Max let me die for them and I think you…"
Max stares out across the water. "I don't know. I still don't know what I would've done if it were me. But other Max went through more for you and she … chose Arcadia Bay."
"She chose what I chose," Chloe says slowly. "I think the only reason I'm even … I'm not a giant fucking mess is 'cause I know I chose to die and this … these people didn't die 'cause I was a selfish bitch. If she'd picked me over Arcadia Bay, I don't … I'm not worth all those people. Shit, Max, we're barely hanging on as is, you think consciously massacring a town would've helped?"
Max turns her head suddenly, and kisses Chloe. Before Chloe can react properly, she leans back but keeps looking at the punk. "Sorry," she says. "It's just … you told me the other night about how you thought of us like I was the ocean."
"I remember," Chloe says. "Weird thing is, I wasn't even high when I said it."
Max doesn't smile. "I … you do stuff. You got on with your life, when I was in Seattle. You met someone awesome, learned stuff, got really handy. I got here and couldn't even send you a text, but you pulled me out of a fight and tried to fix my camera even when you were mad at me. You inspired me to start using my powers, to get out there and try things like breaking into the school, to save someone's life. Without you, all I'd wanna do is be this little island, watching from the outside, too scared to try speaking to anyone who doesn't speak to me first. Even here, you encouraged me to come to my parents, to try and live my life again. You're the one encouraging me to go back to school, trying to get into work and start again, taking life by the balls even with your mom…" She shakes her head. "If we're going by sheer awesomeness, then I think maybe you were the ocean, when I was just a stone. It's like you said – once I saw you, I never wanted to leave you."
"Max…"
Max twists to take Chloe's spare hand in hers. "I've been thinking. About what you said, about not living like I'm scared, and … I know I said other Max was an asshole but … I'm starting to think maybe this was the best choice." Her thumb strokes Chloe's hand. "I meant what I said, you know," she says softly, eyes meeting Chloe's. "You are the most important person to me now. And without you and other Max, I'd never have come back here to see my parents, and without other Max … I wouldn't get to be with you."
"E-Even if it means the world is ending?"
She regrets it as soon as it's out, but Max says, "L-Like I said, I've been thinking about it. I realised, out there, there's a world that isn't ending because of you, and right here, there's a world where I get you. And I've decided, I don't care if that's for five minutes or five hundred years – I don't want to go anywhere without you ever again."
And maybe Max has sort of said things like that before, and maybe Chloe's experience is that it's better to be alone, but this time, with everything Max has done for her this week and even the past few days, she believes her. She leans forwards and kisses her fiercely, earning a gasp from the younger girl that makes her pulse race. Her hands start to roam, and it doesn't help that Max is so vocal, for someone so shy. When they part, they're both panting and the brunette's cheeks are flushed.
"Seeing you today, trying to get your life together, made me realise…" Max says when their heartrate is slightly more normal. "I'm gonna go to the counselling and then to school. And when we can, we'll go on a road trip, me and you."
Chloe smiles. "Hell, yeah. We can do all the shit Rachel and I were gonna do."
"Yeah, but it'll be for Rachel." Her voice is firm, like she's given this a lot of thought, and Chloe can't help loving her a little bit more. "I wanna watch all the movies Warren would've wanted to watch, listen to all the music Kate would've wanted to play, learn to cook like Joyce would've wanted, take all the photos Victoria would've taken, rescue all the dogs for Frank." She hesitates. "And all the cool stuff I might never get to do if the world ends soon, I wanna try now. But I wanna be like you. I don't want to live my life like it's the end. I want to live it happy, like we've got all the time in the world."
"I like the sound of that." She pauses and grins at Max. "The cool stuff, eh? I'm down to help you with anything physical, Maxie."
Right on cue, Max's face turns bright red. But she manages to say, "I was hoping you would be. I listened to your advice this morning and eventually…" Chloe's mouth opens and closes. The hipster smiles. "But for cereal, Chlo. I'm not saying everything's magically better but … I want to try. With you. Because of you."
Chloe interlaces their fingers. "Until the end of the world?"
"Forever."
They kiss again, then lean back to look across the water.
A small vortex appears in the waves.
Fin