Author rambles: Okay. I only know the story up to Volume 3 (basically, what's been English-translated), so I have no freaking idea if I'm violating canon with any of this crap. Doesn't matter, though, it's just written for fun anyways. My OC's name is pronounced Juu-nay, if anyone cares. I hope to get this out of my system fast, but knowing me, I'll stall somewhere. Eh, what're you gonna do?

Thanks to Plug for helping me with the fic despite not knowing the show. It really helped :)

Recurrence

Stay on the road you promised me

I'll wait for you at the end.

Prologue

...

God's Light.

The mere thought of such purity was laughable, although he felt nothing close to mirth. He was supine like a sleek cat, stretching his arm overhead and splaying his fingers against the white backdrop of ceiling. His skin was dark, bronzed by the sun even deeper than the olive of his heritage. He would sit by the window and let the cold sunlight color him. His ancestry stemmed from the times of Ancient Egypt, and he never felt at peace unless he could see the sun.

It was fitting, he supposed, that he should be the one to carry God's Darkness.

The entire situation would have made anyone roll their eyes and start thinking cliché, but it could be no other way. It was an inescapable fact that light could not exist without the dark. He understood that he had been born the exact moment that God's Light had exploded into existence.

Taken by force, thrown into captivity, left to rot like the unwanted mess that he was. Every incarnation cycle was the same. The white was the prison of the black. God's Light would be adored, cared for, loved, and he would remain forgotten, unneeded, hated.

Hate.

He held enough of that emotion to last a million lifetimes. If his emotions could be actualized, he would have caused the entire world to crumble beneath the weight of his hatred. Watch it burn, watch it end. Either way he would have been relieved.

"June-san?"

The sound of her small, scared voice always grated layers of ice from his heart. Why did it always have to be her they sent up with his food? If it had been any of the others, he would have dispelled them to the nether regions of the universe where they could live in the solitary cold like himself. Even though she was one of them, an enemy, he would never be able to do that, not to her.

"I'm here," he said with a sigh, lifting himself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, chains rattling. "Where else would I be?"

"Okay." The door shook as she twisted the key in the lock and creaked open, illuminating Touko's slender form in its frame. His penetrating dark eyes sought out the glimmer of her irises, and when they finally locked gazes, she seemed flustered and looked away quickly to the wall. "I brought your food."

She entered the room, keeping a safe distance from him and setting the plate of food and an empty glass on the floor. She poured water into the glass, half full. Quickly, with caution and practice, she moved the plate and the glass towards him until they were barely in reach, his chains giving only that much leeway to stretch that far.

She was close enough for only a few moments. He could have done it. Done anything he wanted, knowing he could have captured her in those precious seconds. Yet he remained on the bed, simply watching, an impartial observer as she completed her assigned task.

Someone has to feed the monster.

Touko sat back on her heels when she was done, giving him a small, half-hearted smile. "It's really good today. I think Yatsuma-san has been experimenting with different spices. I'd say this time it was a success."

Her soft chuckle lifted the heavy curtains around his heart, a frail tendril of light trying to struggle its way through the pitch. It didn't last long, never did, but he nodded in her direction, acknowledging her pedestrian efforts to engage him as a human being.

"I'm sure it is."

Touko's finger traced the lip of the glass pitcher, the silence forcing an uncomfortable moment onto her. He could tell she was trying to think of something to shatter it, but he gave her no relief. It was one of the only safe games he could play, and a deep part of him felt immensely satisfied to see her anxiety.

After at least thirty seconds passed without any words between them, June decided to give her a break. She had crossed the line from embarrassment into misery, her eyes clouding with sadness. He would get no joy from seeing her rain.

He kept his voice neutral, even though the words probably held more of his hate than anything else he could have said. "I hear you found it. God's light."

Shock colored her face pink, eyes widening on him. "How did you hear that?"

He smiled like he had swallowed a sour pill. "Word gets around, even in this isolated death. Takashiro keeps me close, keeps me informed of the life I'm being denied. I think it pleases him."

"That can't be true," Touko said with unbidden feeling coating her voice sweet. "Takashiro-sama is only keeping you here because he is afraid. He knows what happened in the past..."

"I'm not the one who betrayed," June replied simply, confident in the truth of his words. "That was her."

Touko's eyes brimmed with the sorrow of his revelation, looking wet with pooling tears. "He won't give you the chance to do the same."

"That's fair." June's tone implied the opposite, a sarcastic bite on the tip of his tongue. Sometimes he swore she was only playing naive. "She gets a second chance. I don't even get a first."

"We need Yuki," Touko protested, looking passionate for a moment before flushing again, realizing too late what she had thrown out there.

You're not needed.

He knew that. The sting of that little fragment was just another poke in an arm that was already used to bleeding raw. None of it mattered. He walked over to the plate of cold food that she had placed on the ground in between them, dragging the thick iron links attached to the shackles around his wrists. They weren't heavy, not anymore. He broke apart the chopsticks, watching calmly as she backed further out of his reach. Just as well.

"Are you going to stay?" He remained apathetic as he began to eat slowly, tasteless food going down his throat in a bland swallow. The water was more appreciated, and he took a long drink from the glass as he leveled his eyes at the girl.

The corners of her mouth lifted slightly as her head turned down, casting dark blurs over her face with her long bangs. "You're always fast. I don't mind."

He could have eaten faster. He was hungry despite his best efforts to suppress every desire that kept him human. He thought he would have had an easier time never eating again rather than having to do without her daily visits. He had heard the real Touko outside with her brother, with Hotsuma, arguing and displaying a fire that he had never seen burning. That didn't matter to him.

She was all that was outside the void.

Closing his eyes for a single instant, food only halfway eaten, June pushed the plate away, shuffling backwards until he was seated again on the edge of his bed. He never looked away from her as she collected his plate, refilling his glass of water from the pitcher in her other hand. Cheeks still dark, she reached into the glass pitcher and pulled out an ice cube, spilling it into his drink. "You like it cold, don't you? Oh, I shouldn't have... My-- my hands are clean, I promise. I'm sorry."

"I would never get sick from that," June replied, lifting his shoulders in a careless shrug. He felt lightened when a smile lit up the shadows of her face, although she was probably only happy because her task was done.

Until tomorrow.

"Ah-- you know, I was thinking maybe I could bring something else here for you. Whatever you want, you know. A book, some cards, something fun..." Touko peeked at him from under her lashes, her innocence a deceptive draw. She made him feel safe even though he knew she cared nothing for him. He was her tiresome chore.

He allowed her the courtesy of the false hope that she was helping. "That would be fine."

"Which would? Do you prefer one thing over the others?"

Her earnest words were beginning to burn a little. He would end it with a stone wall of apathy. "Whatever you want." He shrugged again, tiredness coming over him and bringing his body back onto the mattress. Clacking metal sounded from his chains as he drew the threadbare quilt over himself and closed his eyes, allowing his darkness to consume him.

"Sweet dreams, June-san."

Her voice might have been a desperate illusion he whispered to himself to continue thinking that he was not alone. He could lie, but that was no comfort. The truth would always remain that he was alone. Everyone else was allowed to stand with their partners, sharing their lives together with unbreakable bonds, but his would never even know that he existed. Never again.

Yuki.

He comforted himself with the bitter knowledge that God's Light would never shine as bright without his darkness. When that brilliant, all-encompassing illumination would be needed, it would never be enough.

That time was coming. Soon.