TITLE: There's Always That One
AUTHOR: MikeJaffa
SYNOPSIS: Even among weeping angels, there's that one who can be a pain in the neck.
DISCLAIMER: Doctor Who is owned by the BBC
AUTHOR's NOTE: The people at Doctor Who created a Youtube video in which a weeping angel attacked a visitor to the Doctor Who Experience. My silly muse being what it is, I spat out the dialogue between these two angels and put it in a reply to Doctor Who's comment. It's still there, so they haven't taken it down. But I decided to reconfigure this into a one-shot. And do not eat or drink while reading it
And so here now, Astrid and Beryll get Unit's attention….
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Report by Petronella Osgood #4 to the Director regarding Weeping Angel Recording recovered in Joseph Michealine Missing Persons Case.
As has been noted, on 21November, 2016, a missing persons report was filed with the London Metropolitan police by the family of Mr. Joseph Michaeline, who as last seen at the Professor Mysterio Experience in London. The only item found was his video recorder. When the London Police shared the recovered video with other law enforcement and intelligence agencies, UNIT promptly seized the video, the camera, and the case file. The Doctor was alerted through the space/time telegraph, but no response was received as of this report.
Forensic analysis of the camera showed that although it contained images of angels, there is no indication either the data files or the device have been invested with angel consciousness. The camera and the only flash drive containing the video are being kept under heavy guard in the black archive as a precaution. It was here under tight security the recording was analyzed using laptops that had had their network adapter cards removed and were left secured in the archive. Further examination indicated audio just below range of human perception. The audio was enhanced and passed through a translation matrix provided by the Doctor.
The identity of the individual named Moppit has been confirmed to be the executive producer of the current season of Professor Mysterio. We recommend that the Director approach the BBC and coordinate with them on keeping Mr. Moppit under surveillance; at the moment, his threat level has yet to be ascertained in spite of him collaborating with weeping angels, and the extent of their network must also be learned. Beyond that, the main value of the tape appears to be insights into the psychology and personal interactions among the weeping angels. A copy of the transcript will be forwarded to the profiling division for further analysis, at which point a report will be submitted to the director and the home secretary.
Reviewers of the transcript recommend that readers refrain from eating and drinking while reading it. Here, then, without further comment, is the transcript of the enhanced and translated audio of the exchange between the two weeping angels present
"Astrid! What are you doing?"
"Getting something to eat, Beryll. You know I skipped breakfast."
"But you're not supposed to move!"
"What are you talking about? He keeps turning his back. Of course I can move."
"But it's that mannequin challenge thingie they mentioned at the end of the staff meeting...you were awake at the staff meeting, right?"
"Most of it; 'weeping' comes in handy, eh?"
"Let me guess, up late arguing in the Professor Mysterio forums again. Moppit really ought to pay you for that. Look, will you leave that guy alone and get back over here?"
"Hang on, I've almost got him! I want to catch him before he goes down stairs."
"No, Astrid, wait-"
At this point, the camera fell to the floor, at the moment Mr. Michaeline was displaced in time. The recording continued long enough to record the following exchange:
"...oh, good grief. Never mind, Astrid. But I am not explaining this one to Moppit!"
"Fine, Beryll. I'll tell him I sent his maternal grandfather back."
"Yeah, I'm sure that'll make it all better."