I do not own the series of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Otherwise there'd be three seasons out, and many, many more manga, I promise you.
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Fatal Error
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Chapter 1
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Well, today started like every other high school day I care to think of. I was sitting in class, as usual, when the bell rang.
Nothing unusual about that.
I stood up, and lifted my bag off of the hook on the side of my desk, and was just about to swing it over my shoulder when something seized me from behind. Though this startled me, it, too, isn't that usual. Obviously, Haruhi had decided that I was taking too much time in getting to the clubroom so I could fulfil her whimsical orders.
What WASN'T usual was the way my foot caught on the leg of the desk, and I spun, crashing to the floor, Haruhi pinned beneath me. I wasn't particularly hurt, so I sat up as soon as possible, groaning.
It was then that I noticed that Haruhi wasn't moving. Well, that's never good.
In the background, I think I heard Taniguchi making some lame crack about Suzumiya and myself, but I personally had more important things to worry about.
Standing up, I lifted Haruhi, and declared I was going to the Nurse.
I was not totally surprised to be met by Yuki, Itsuki, and Mikuru.
I carried Haruhi's limp body over to a bed, and placed it on top of the bedding. "Well?"
"Well," Itsuki grinned vaguely, "It appears that Miss. Suzumiya is unconscious."
"Is that so?" I asked in as fridged a voice I could muster.
"Haruhi's data has become unstable, and is fragmenting at a rate that could become catastrophic. If this is allowed to continue, there will be a complete halt of data on Earth, and there will not be an opportunity to resurrect any lost files."
So says the almost uninterpretable Miss. Nagato.
I sighed. "So the world might end. Again."
"That is right."
Great.
The wonderful Mikuru seemed to be flustered. As usual as that might be, I'll never get tired of it.
"Ah-um, M-maybe we should wake Haruhi up?"
Itsuki grinned faintly. "That, I feel, would end disastrously. You see, I do believe that she is, to put it in computer terms, suffering from a frozen screen. If we were to try to wake her, she would probably go into shock, and what would result in a very, er, disorganized mess. My guess would be that she might decide to eliminate the entire world and then some by accident, and possibly even herself."
He's starting to sound as though she's about to take an eraser and rub everything off a page.
"Indeed. Forcibly causing her to wake would cause a meltdown, and would obliterate half of the galaxy's data, causing a slippage of data, and would cause a total shutdown, even of the Integrated Data Entities themselves."
So speaks Nagato.
"Then, what am I supposed to do?" why does it always sound as though I'm taking orders from these three?
Oh, that's right. Because I am.
"Well, I would say the wisest option would be to try the same technique that you did when she was about to re-create the world." I could swear Itsuki has a talent for smirking without actually showing it. "This is, after all, a similar situation, and therefore this is probably the best idea."
"I agree. With the data that I have collected, I have calculated all actions, and repeating similar modes of operation is the wisest option that is available to us."
"Ahh, could someone please tell me what's going on? I really don't know what you're telling Kyon to do!"
Ah, poor, sweet, caring Mikuru. At least she isn't ordering me to do something.
"Simply to reboot Haruhi's operating system to a normal level of production through physical contact."
Way to dodge the question, Yuki.
"Ah, what?"
I groaned. "They want me to kiss her." I didn't look at her as I said this. I can't decide whether this was because I would have felt disappointed if she didn't react, or disgusted with myself if she did.
"Well, I guess you should do that." I glanced at Mikuru. She had her eyes hidden behind her bangs, and she seemed to have mumbled the sentence. She must have noticed my stare, because she looked up, and smiled. "If she does that, she'll destroy the future, too."
What? Was that sadness? Was she sad that I was supposed to kiss Haruhi?
Or was I just getting my hopes up?
"A-all right, then," I shoved my hands in my pockets, and walked over to Haruhi. She was lying there, almost as if she were asleep. Could she really cause that much trouble just from getting a concussion? Isn't that a little extreme? And why did I have to do the deed of kissing her?
What is my purpose in all of this?
I stood over her, gazing down, pondering all of this. Then I thought 'to Hell with this!' and leaned down to kiss her.
But I never got the chance. Haruhi's eyes snapped open, and her hand shot to my throat. Her eyes were not normal. They were glazed, and blurred. As though she was staring into space. I don't even think she knew what she was doing. Before I could even register what was really happening, her hand had tightened. I couldn't breath. Gagging slightly, my eyes opened wide, as though there was some way to breath by doing that.
Out of my peripheral vision, I remember seeing Mikuru and Itsuki start in shock. I'm pretty sure Nagato blinked. Then my vision blurred, and I blacked out.
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Ye gods, I love this series!
Yes, I'm writing a The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya fanfic! This idea has been bugging me for a few days now. I've been going to sleep thinking about this.
This is a rather different style than I usually write in, but Kyon is totally my favourite character, and I relate with him totally.
So why did I just try to kill him?
For the plot, Silly!