Disclaimer: No, I do not own it. If I did, anyone who read hp would be weeping.
A/N: Okay, this is my first humor fic, so don't expect too much. This was just me, having fun. I love Ravenclaws...
Studious
"-Progress for progress's sake must be discouraged," Dolores Umbridge declared, but before she could continue, a sudden wail from the Ravenclaw table caught everyone's attention.
"What? Why? WHHYYYYYYY?"
Some of the Ravenclaws were clinging to each other, and the younger years were sobbing blindly. As the entire school gaped at what was normally the most respectful house, one of the seventh year prefects shouted at Umbridge.
"WHY? Why is progress 'prohibited'? Progress is growth and development, or improvement! Does your ministry NOT want to improve Hogwarts? Do you want us all to go down the tubes? To improve is to 'bring into a more desirable or excellent condition,'" the Ravenclaw quoted his favorite edition of the dictionary, "or in common terms to get better. How can you not want us to do well? How can the ministry be against the student body maturing and growing, improving to become better people? This-this is blasphemy! I am not going to stand for it! I've been attending this school for six years, and I've loved my time here—thank you Professor Dumbledore, and everyone who taught me—but now I am leaving! A school in which I cannot improve and cannot learn more to do better is not a school for me!" He turned to his house. "Ravenclaws, are you with me?" The prefect was answered by an entire house of positive cheers. Grinning, he said, "You know that there are books that we can read, and parents and siblings to question, and the younger years can always turn to us prefects. We Progressors will stick together and seek to better ourselves, our country, and the world! Goodbye Hogwarts. Let's go, Eagles!"
And those in the great hall watched as the house of the golden eagle left the castle, heads held high.
They all jumped as the tremendous CRASH shook the entire castle. Bits of the ceiling fell down into the hall. There were numerous crack-SMASH sounds, caused by the upper year Ravenclaws summoning all of their house's belongings, which broke straight through many layers of the castle's floors to reach their owners.
There was a moment of utter silence after the din had ceased.
The Gryffindors looked at each other. The Hufflepuffs looked at each other. And every Slytherin shot death glares at Umbridge. Shouts of "Let's go, Lions!", "Time to move out, Badgers!", and "There's no benefit in staying now!" rang out throughout the hall as every student headed for the exit. More stone floors crashed down or exploded, and the staff, plus Umbridge, sat staring at the empty great hall.
"Nicely done, Dolores," said Professor Mc Gonagall, "You've managed to ruin our school in a matter of hours. Even the marauders couldn't do that."
Dumbledore smiled at them all, and said, "Well, it looks like summer vacation has come early this year! Lucky me!" And he skipped off out of the great hall, looking oddly like Luna Lovegood.
Snape put his head in his hands.
And a chunk of the ceiling fell less that a millimeter from Tralawny's head, causing the witch to start shrieking about the ministry causing their doom.
"Cornelius?" Umbridge whispered, "Help?"
a/n: Well, what do you think? Heh heh...I'm sure you all loved it. yeah. At least you all would in my own perfect little world...too bad that world doesn't exist...
You know, I almost made some rubble fall on Umbridge's head...but that would be too mean spirited. ALSO! One of the things that I can't stand is when people say that the Ravenclaws' mascot is a raven. That's too boring, and JKR doesn't do boring. It's an EAGLE, people, look it up! (And purely movie references don't count. The books are the real thing. After all, JKR is the author. She would know, she created it.) Anyway... Review?
Leave a critique, complement, or criticism! Something! Let me know how I did.