Play for Me

The rain fell relentlessly but unheeded upon the red heads broad, leather clad shoulders and back. The minuet the tiny drops made impact, they fizzled out, evaporating off of his surprisingly warm body, keeping him dry.

Axel stood, in the pouring rain, eyes still locked on the last spot he had seen his best friend before the boy had vanished into a dark portal.

He was gone. Axel still couldn't completely wrap his mind around that one, cold fact. Roxas was gone. He'd left the castle without a backwards glance, not caring at all about his supposed best friends feelings.

'Feelings?' Axel thought sarcastically, his lips spreading into a cruel, sad smile. 'I'm not supposed to have feelings…'

But that's just it. That's what made Roxas's betrayal hurt so much. When he was with the flaxen haired Keyblade master he actually felt like he had a heart, something he thought he would never feel again. Now, only a few hours after the boys departure, the cold, empty feeling was slowly spreading through his chest.

Slowly lifting his face towards the rain, he felt two individual drops fall onto his cheeks, staying there for only a few precious seconds to glide over his tattoo's, leaving twin shining tracks behind them. That's as close to tears as he knew he was ever going to get.

Feeling his legs finally give out from under him, Axel allowed himself to crumble onto the cold pavement. He didn't want to stand up, didn't want to move. Maybe if he stayed here, just like this, forever, he would fade from this world and never have to worry about Roxas ever again…

"What, now I'm suicidal?" he whispered to himself with a bitter laugh, gazing towards the ever present heart shaped moon. Although he laughed at it, deep down Axel knew he was willing to kill himself. If it ment seeing Roxas again, he'd do it. He'd do anything to see him again…

"Now now now, what's happenin' over here?"

Axel tensed. That voice… That annoying, nasally, squeaky voice….

"Is that you Axel?"

Only one person had a voice like that.

Demyx.

Axel groaned. He really didn't want to deal with the air head right now. Not when he'd just lost-

"Hey, Axel buddy, ya seen Roxas? Saix sent me out here to fetch him. Said I was no good anywhere else…" The mullet haired boy gave a nervous laugh. Finally coming to stand in front of the red head, Demyx's eyes widened at the sight before him.

"Geez man, you ok? You look like you've been through the ringer." Bending down to get a closer look of the down trodden Nobody, Demyx let out a low whistle "You should get back to the castle, get a potion in you or something. Staying out here in the rain can't be helping you much."

Slowly, Axel lifted his head to look at the annoying sitar player in front of him. Like himself, the rain didn't make Demyx wet, instead the drops seemed to just bounce off the mans leather coat. His light green eyes we're mischievous, but underneath Axel could see Demyx's attempt at worry.

That was the weird thing about Demyx. Sure, they all pretended to have emotion's, tried to act like normal people, but Demyx took it to the extreme. It kinda freaked the red head out a little, how dedicated the mullet boy was to acting like he had a heart.

When Axel still hadn't said anything, and just sat there staring at him, Demyx felt himself becoming more and more uncomfortable.

"So, uh, yeah… See you at the castle then. I'll just get Roxas and-"

"You won't find him." Axel interrupted, his voice a little hoarse from the hours of no use.

"-Then I'll meet up with you and… What?" Demyx looked at him, confused.

'There he goes again, pretending he can feel confused' Axel thought with a sigh. "You won't find Roxas. He's long gone to some other world by now."

At this point Demyx lowered himself to sit beside Axel, standing having become to much work. "What do you mean? Saix didn't tell him to go anywhere so why would he…" Demyx brow furrowed as he tried to figure the conundrum out.

Axel sighed again. Of course it was Demyx. Of course he wouldn't get it and of course Axel was going to have to spell it out for him. Closing his eyes against the pain he shouldn't feel at the truth that he didn't want to believe, the red head slowly began to explain.

"He deserted us Dem, turned his back on the Organization, betrayed us. He's just …" Axel had to stop to take a deep breath "…gone."

A moment of silence passed between the two Nobody's, before Demyx let out an unintelligent, "What?"

Axel snapped. Everything that had been building up in him for the passed couple hours erupted out of him as he yelled "He's gone you MORON". Along with the words came a large cloud of flames, expelling from Axel's very essence. The mullet boy let out a cry of surprise, falling backwards away from the angry flames. He watched in shock as Axel disappeared into a dark portal, vanishing from view.

'How can anyone be that dense! I TOLD him Roxas was gone and still he didn't get it. He is such an IDIOT!' Axel fumed angrily while passing in front of the single window in his bedroom, through which he could still see the rain falling in powerful sheets. 'Does he not understand what 'gone' means?'

With an irritated huff Axel finally stopped pacing, flopping down on his bed with a hard thud. "He makes me so fucking mad-" The red head stopped himself short. That's not right. Demyx shouldn't be able to make him feel anything. Axel was a Nobody, he had no feelings, and the ones he did have Roxas had caused. Not Demyx. Demyx was not Roxas, Demyx did not make him have emotions.

Then why was he so angry at the bubbly idiotic blonde?

'Its just because he mentioned Roxas' Axel reasoned with himself 'Or because Roxas had just left. Yeah, that's it, Roxas's effect just hadn't worn off yet. It had absolutely nothing to do with Demyx at all…'

But despite all his reasoning, Axel wasn't completely sure. It had been such a strong emotion…Could something that powerful really have just been caused simply by the mention of Roxas? And Axel had started feeling so empty right before Demyx had shown up. Wasn't that a sign that Roxas's effect had worn off?

'Roxas's…' The pain wasn't as strong anymore, just a dull, fading ache. And that was even worse then the blistering bright agony he had felt earlier. That was a sign that Roxas, his best friend, his companion, his buddy and sidekick was really, truly, completely gone-

A soft knock interrupted his musings causing him to twitch in agitation. "What now?" he growled to himself with an angry glare at the door. For a moment he considered ignoring it , but then the soft knock came again, followed by a timid call of his name.

"Hey Axe, you there? Its me, Demyx…"

Axel's glare hardened. Hadn't that idiot done enough already? Now he was intruding in the red heads personal space…

'He must really have a death wish' Axel thought with a huff before turning once again away from the door, intent on pretending he didn't hear the nervous Nobody on the other side.

"Axel, I know your in there and I know your mad at me…I just wanted to say I was sorry and to come see if you were ok…"

How did the moron do that? How did he show so much emotion, so much feeling when he didn't have a heart? It should have been impossible. His voice shouldn't hold that note of remorse, of guilt. It was just wrong! And he didn't even have an excuse. He didn't have a Roxas…

"Well, if your ok then I guess I should just…go.." The voice on the other side of the door now sounded dejected, lonely, and it caused a stirring in Axel it shouldn't have.

He felt regret. Regret for his outburst earlier, regret for almost burning the boy in his anger, regret for sending him away now when, in all actuality, the boy had done nothing wrong. He had just tried to follow the order Saix had given him, the order to bring Roxas back, and he tried to do it while helping Axel at the same time. He wasn't at fault here…

But this was wrong! He shouldn't be feeling regret, he shouldn't be feeling anything! He was a Nobody! And Demyx wasn't Roxas! So…why?

Why?

Catapulting himself off the bed, Axel ran to the door, throwing it open with a violent crack just in time to see the mullet boy turning away, his face down cast. Demyx let out a very undignified yelp at the sudden movement, stumbling backwards in his shock just to end up on his falling flat on his butt with a thud and a loud 'owww'.

But Axel didn't stop there. He fell to his knees in front of his fellow Organization, grabbing him roughly by the shoulders and staring at him with crazed, acid green eyes.

Demyx instictivly flinched at the rough hold on his shoulders, feeling the fingers pressing dark bruises into his fragile skin. Lifting his head intent on telling Axel that he was hurting him, he stopped at the look in the mans eyes. It was angry, confused and so lost.

Very un-Axel like.

That one realization send a bolt of worry through Demyx's entire body. What had happened to the cocky, hot headed, laid back man he knew?

"Axel?" he whispered quietly, afraid if he spoke any louder he'd scare this stranger in his friends body.

"Why?" Axel spoke, his voice broken and heaving. He felt as if there wasn't enough air in the hallway, like it was all being sucked away leaving him gasping. "Why do you make me so angry, so fucking angry, then so sad that I don't know what to do with myself? Why is it you can act like you have feelings when you DON'T! How can you make me feel things I shouldn't? Only Roxas can do that and your NOT him? So why? Why!" His voice faded to uncontrollable gasps as he lowered his head to rest it on the younger Nobody's chest.

Demyx's felt his eyes prickle. He couldn't help it. Axel just looked so lost, so broken. He didn't even look like Axel…

Running his eyes up and down the hallway they were now laying in, Demyx came to a sudden conclusion. They in in a very vulnerable position, anyone could come walking down and see Axel gasping in his hysterics…

He could not let that happen. He knew Axel, and he knew the red head would hate for anyone to see him in this position. He had to get the fire Nobody back in his room, and he had to do it now.

Carefully wrapping his arms around his hysterical comrade, Demyx gently lifted him up into his arms, sliding him forward through the open door back into Axel's bedroom. Said red head did not protest, simply sliding his hold from Demyx's shoulders to the front of his jacket, squeezing as if his life depended on it, all the while repeating a whispered mantra of the word 'why?' over and over again in short panicked breaths.

Once successfully threw the door, Demyx kicked the it shut with the heel of his boot before, once again, looking down at Axel.

"Hey, you ok Axe?" He whispered in a caring voice while gently laying his friend down on the small white bed.

No longer possessing the ability to scream, Axel merely looked at the sandy haired Nobody. Why was Demyx helping him? He just practically tackled the boy! He just didn't make any sense at all…

Feeling suddenly exhausted over his long day of pain and heartbreak Axel only had energy for one more quietly whispered, "Why?"

Demyx smiled, a soft, caring smile. A smile someone with a heart would give to a good friend who was hurting or confused. And Axel definatly was confused.

Without a word, Demyx summoned his Sitar, holding it out so his friend could get a good look before pulling it close to his chest and gazing at the strings with loving eyes. Carefully, he allowed his fingers to strum over strings, creating a haunting melody to fill the bland, white room.

"This is why." He, too, whispered the words, almost as if speaking to loud would shatter the quiet mood surrounding them. "This is why I try so hard to feel things I know I can't."

He once again fell silent, letting his music do the talking for him. It was soft and melancholy, the song itself creating a mood of sadness around them, but it also brought peace.

Axel felt stunned. All this time he had thought Demyx was a talent less hack, a Nobody who couldn't fight and was therefore useless. He never would have guessed the other had possessed in himself a true passion of this measure. 'Maybe I should have tried listening to him play before I judged him…' The red head thought lazily, eyes sliding closed, his mind going with the music.

When the song came to an inevitable end, Axel spoke, his voice strong and confident while he looked Demyx straight in the eye. "That was beautiful. You're really good at actually playing that…Thing…"

There was a moment of silence, before Demyx let out a bark of bitter laughter, his face darkening and showing Axel what he'd secretly been longing to see. Emptiness. The expression of a true Nobody. Although he'd been waiting for it, that face still made his heart ache in a way he was quickly getting tired of.

"No, I'm not. Don't lie Axel." The sandy blonde said simply, his eyes holding nothing, the way they we're supposed to. But Axel didn't want that, not anymore, not after hearing him play. He wanted to see the quirky blondes open, happy eyes and bright, hopeful expression.

"But Demyx-" He started to protest just to get rudely cut off.

"I can't be good Axel. It's biologically impossible. To be able to play good music, your supposed to put feeling into it, emotion into it. Your heart into it. But no matter how hard I try, I can't do that. No matter how much it kills me inside, I can never play like I did when I was a somebody." Demyx stopped to catch his breath, his eyes shining in a peculiar way that they shouldn't be. "I remember it. Thats probably the worst part. I remember a shadow of the feeling I used to get when I played, that exhilaration of the moment when my fingers first touch the strings, ready to sweep people away from the problems of their own lives…" Here he gave his Sitar a mindless strum. "But no matter how many times I play, or where, I can't feel that anymore. It's the worst agony anyone could put me through, and I have to live it in my dad to day life. That why I try so hard Axel."

Turning to face the other man, he finished his rant with a slight, bittersweet smile "I try so hard because if I don't feel something I'll break. I need to feel something, even if I force it, even if its just remembered emotions… I need to bid my time and get by on that, at least until Kingdom Hearts I completed and I am once again whole." His voice trailed off into a comfortable silence for the two, Demyx's eyes staring towards the window, threw which he could see the rain and beyond that, the heart shaped moon of his salvation.

For a long time Axel stared at Demyx's face before he saw the tears. They glided down the musicians face in glittering streams, silently dropping off at his chin to land on the chest of his black, regulation coat.

Sitting up and reaching forward, Axel carefully caught a few on the ends of his finger tips, sending Demyx a confused look pertaining to them. To this the blonde let out a quiet laugh.

"I control water" he explained with a watery smile, his voice breaking. "It makes crying a little easier for me then most."

Nodding silently, Axel slowly brought his fingers to his lips, experimentally licking the moister off the leather tip of his glove.

"Salty…" He whispered, mostly to himself. "Tears taste salty…Like the ocean"

Demyx gave him a small smile, nodding a little to Axel's point. They feel into another valley of silence, the only sound being the rain quietly pattering on the window.

This time it was Demyx who broke the calm by giving un unexpected bark of laughter, making Axel look towards him in surprise.

When his chuckling finally stopped, the blond explained with a soft smile, tears glittering like diamonds on his face. "I came here to try and cheer you up over Roxas leaving and all that and, well…" He gesture blankly to his tear covered cheeks and red, puffy eyes "…This happens! Some friend I am, breaking down in your moment of need…" He tapered off into awkward laughter, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck.

Axel felt his lips twitch up into a smile. He still felt lingering pain over his beat friend betrayal, but some how, sitting right here with Demyx, the only other Nobody who could somehow make him feel things he shouldn't, he knew everything was going to be okay. He knew that he, himself, was going to be okay. And that, in the end, he'd do what he needed to, not only to see his friend again…

But to help Demyx get his heart back.

He moved carefully, picking up Demyx's sitar and handing it lovingly back to its owner. Giving the blonde a small smile that he hoped conveyed comfort, he whispered one, quiet request.

"Play for me?"

Demyx sat there in surprise for a moment before slowly taking the instrument from his friend. After a second of thought, the blonde's face split into a happy smile as he once again began to pluck the strings, this time strumming a happy tune, one full of hope and excitement.

And the two boys were so consumed by the music and their thoughts that they didn't even notice that outside the melancholy rain slowed to a subtle stop, the heart shaped moon of Kingdom Hearts blazing brightly filled with incomplete hope, and, somewhere, the heart of a lost musician trying to find his way.