Ah! Im sick of all the sappy stuff i come out with! If i wasn't such a coward id'e write a horror! The thing is though that i'm friends with so many fantastic romance authors online, its hard to be in any other mind set. Oh well, i hope that this wasn't too sickly sweet for you Reader, and i promise that if my swashbuckling scream fest story ever makes it past my shaky typing fingers, you'll be the first to know. And thats that baby, peace off. 3

"GASP!"

You woke up with a jolting start to freeze in your frantic writhing. There was a moment of silence, a lull in the raw panic and heavy breaths that echoed around the dark room, until a tremor of sobs pulsed like a ripple. Trembling and cold it filled the room until the feeling was stifling and sickening and pressing and you had to get out, had to run away had to move.

And breathe. The damp, chilly air hit your ankles as you swung them out of the soggy imprisonment of your covers. Springs creaked in your mattress and you flung yourself away from it in desperation, searching for the nearby doorknob. The responsive door swung open at your touch and you tore out in a sprint, blurs fading past you into the dull of the night.

Your feet carried you down familiar streets though in the pooling darkness they stretched out around you in every direction in grotesque twists of obscene nature, turning the village into a nightmare playground. You could hear hissing everywhere, the horrible noise fading away then returning in strength, tenfold, assaulting you, making your head pound from the intensity, oh God it hurt like Hell. Each desperate breath tore and clawed at your throat and chest, a stark burn. It spurred you on your, the wind gathering at your feet as you flew, flew away from the snake eyes leering out at you from the darkness.

You barely stopped to take a badly needed breath before your knuckles hit against strong wood, the pain going unregistered as the noise rang loudly in the night, too loudly.

"When I went to bed I really didn't think someone looking so hot and bothered would be knocking down my door in the early hours of the morning." The man that appeared was all blurry, a silver and black blob, but that calm drawl was easily recognisable anywhere. "What's got you all sweaty at this time of the night, Arrie?"

Unable to think of a witty comeback or a sharp remark to shut him up as you usually would, you just let your tears fall freshly down your blotched cheeks. "…Kaka…shi…" You gave a great sniff, your rigid shivers doubling in their crippling effect making you whimper in anxiety and pain. The cold sweat clinging to your skin dripped slowly off of you, dampening your PJ's. When the night wind blew it froze you to the bone and beyond.

When it didn't the silence that ensued accentuated the low hiss that was fading, already, with the promise of near warmth and company, fading away from you, like some dull rumour of another nightmare. One of your many. That was the problem.

As you began to have another panic attack strong arms looped around your waist and pulled you into the warm pool of light beyond that familiar wooden door. The sudden change in temperature was shocking and made your body jerk uncontrollably, but was inviting none the less as the wiry arms support led you through a small and untidy house. Under any other circumstance you would have recognised and known every item in the place, why they were there in the house of a man who disliked material possessions, what made them so special, and why they were placed where they were. Every little thing in your best friends home had a meaning, a purpose, otherwise he would thrown them all out long ago.

Under any other circumstances you would have batted him away affectionately, blushing, and made your own way through to the tiny living space to perch on the edge of the kitchen counter and watch him as he pottered around to make you tea and chocolate. That's the thing about Kakashi, he always has an unhealthy amount of chocolate stashed away, and despite the countless times you've tried to find it all, I mean he really does need to eat better, you can never seem to find any, no matter how small his flat was. Under any other circumstances you would have dressed so much better, PJ's a little less threadbare, trousers you didn't have to wade around in, a jumper to hide your arms from the wind and you would have taken the liberty to tie your hair back out of your eyes, just to look a little more presentable.

Just to look a little better for him.

Kakashi steered you into his living room/kitchenette with his arms tight around and pushed you gently into the squishy loveseat. You were shivering again, from cold more than fear now, as the last of your panic washed away with the golden glow from the lamps dotted here and there. Your teeth chattered childishly and the man rubbed his long hands up and down your arms to try and heat you. As he continued with his ministrations your vision was returning, eyes becoming focussed… he was becoming focussed, and
that's all that mattered. That was all you needed.

A shock of brilliant silver hair bloomed before you, taking its beautiful shape, glittering in the dim lamplight. Smooth pale skin hidden under the dark material of his customary mask, that long vertical scar moving from his unlined forehead down to his cheek, vanishing under that dark veil. Seeing Kakashi any time of day, any day of the week was magnificent, watching him stroll around Konoha in his jonin uniform, staring as the sun shines beautifully off his hair giving it a burnished glow.

Always looking at him, knowing that he would soon sense you and turn, his eye crinkling up in an unguarded, happy greeting that, you were proud to say, you were one of very few ever to see.

Every morning you would meet and laugh together, performing the daily routine of a jonin as partners; coffee, mission, lunch, mission, dinner, relax. When had 'My friend Kakashi' and 'My partner Kakashi' start being said with something so much more than pride and happiness? When had the loving caress been added in, the affectionate glance in his direction, the shy blush if ever he looked your way and smiled? This was all his silly fault what with his corny sense of humour, his perverted habits…sigh…his perfect everything…

And he would never feel the same way. Such a popular, sought after man, by both women and men could never look at you with the same eyes that you did him. You were too plain in every sense. Your hair was untameable and out of fashion, your clothes never really seemed to fit and a lot of the time you saw were nights like these where your nightmares would chase you out of your house and you would seek refuge on his couch, your skin blotched red with tears and your eyes puffy.

Even though he would welcome you with open arms, in his black slacks and sleeveless shirt, his hair loose and tangled, headband taken off, he must be tired of accommodating your paranoid little brain. He probably only put up with it because he always has. Ever since you came to this village he's been your best friend, an instant affinity with one another.

Ever since you ran away…ran away from that…that time…

"Was it that same dream again?"

Kakashi's voice brought you back to reality firmly with his smooth murmur. He was still rubbing your arms although you had long since warmed up and your goose-bumps had disappeared. It was more of a comfort action than anything else; he had dealt with your panic attacks far too often to be at a loss of what to do. He was all you needed.

You nodded numbly, concentrating on the feel of his calloused hands against your skin; oh how you loved such moments. He stopped, making your brain scream out in a silent tantrum. He looked up into your eyes with his own mismatched orbs, hypnotising you in his anxious stare. He moved his hand to gently cup your cheek, brushing away the last of the tears still lingering there.

"Will you ever tell me what makes you so scared?"
Each word was accentuated by a circular motion on your cheekbone with his thumb that was lulling you into a haze of contented pleasure. Resisting the urge to let your eyelids slide shut and to lean into his touch, you admitted that if you were ever to tell anyone what had happened, it would be Kakashi. You took a deep breath to steady yourself, his lingering contact on your cheek keeping you anchored to reality, saving you from slipping into your memories, dimly fading into subconscious.

"About six years ago, a couple of months before I came here actually, I lived in the Land of Lightning.
Near the Village Hidden in the Clouds but just a small trading market. It was in winter when…when it happened…so we packed up our stalls early, thinking to get home and get warm y'know? We were all laughing and talking, it was so small a population everyone knew everyone. That's how we were, tightly knit." You took another deep breath, you were so close now, so close to the truth. "I don't know why it happened, we were such a small group, no more than a hundred of us and hardly any Shinobi. But, it was just getting d-dark….and we were all heading h-home…" Your voice was cracking, and your eyes were squeezed shut and the images washed over you. "I heard a c-crash…behind me…sc-creaming" You were shaking violently. " T-there was a big s-sort of ….wave of wind…and e-everything just fell apart! The entire ma-arket was crushed, half the village dead…m-my friends…my f-family…" You didn't know telling him would be so hard, but now you had started you couldn't stop. "I didn't know what t-to do so I-i ran AND I RAN AND I R-RAN AND SHOULD HAVE SAVED THEM-!"

You shaking voice had risen to a cry of pain, a carnal shriek of misery, raw and throbbing. As the tears ran unnoticed in torrents and you became inconsolable in your shame, you felt Kakashi pull you into his arms.
Now that the dam of memories had been fully breached they came flooding back in force, images.
Scenes of broken homes and lives that had been built so lovingly for wives and children. Possessions and bodies alike strewn across the wasteland expanse of carnage.

Faces half known and half torn apart, with terror and dim surprise still etched with some recognition.

Seeing them again, a white flash of heat struck you across your wailing chest, a rip of fresh pain along the jagged white scar that ran up your torso. Long dormant, it awoke with your screams and languished in your torment anew. Just like back then when sharp fangs had ripped at you, and the spiked poisonous scale of a dark knife had shredded away at your chest, determined to leave no survivors, no drop of blood un-spilt.

When the eyes of the giant reptilian beast had leered at you from the darkness and licked your blood off of its lethal fangs with its forked tongue. Flicking out the pale pink ribbon towards you, tasting your scent on the wind, your hazed terror-

"Manda."

There was a halt in time, a lull as a small figure, blurry and unfocussed came into view. His smooth voice would sent shivers up your spine but at the time it had been the only thing holding your body together.

"I grow weary of this pathetic little village. What I am looking for is not here. Come…"

With them memories fresh and more vivid than ever it was now easy to sob out the whole tale, letting every unshed tear that should have fallen long ago drip onto the comforting shoulder of the man holding you. With every glistening pearl of moisture a little piece of your energy went with it, until you were reaching the end of your tale and feeling utterly drained and ready to fall asleep quite willingly on his shoulder.

Seeming to understand your silence as being one of complete exhaustion, You felt Kakashi hook his arm under your legs to lift you up, carrying you bridal style the few feet to his bedroom. You clung to his warmth, his strength as he lay you down on his worn and threadbare green bed covers. He didn't try to prise your fingers away from his shoulders, though your grip was deadly and must have hurt. He just leaned over you as you let your head rest back against the pillows, one hand protectively on either side of your head. You felt the bed shift with his weight as he threw one leg over your hips to rest beside you on the mattress so that he hovered over your small form. As you watched he reached p to his face and pulled down his mask in one simple movement. His ethereal and mysterious beauty made your breath catch in your throat and your heart thump painfully against your chest. His eyes were intense, a glow of charcoal black and passionate red. Feeling it burn into you, melting away at all the barriers you had created over the years you instinctively hid your blotched and wet face in your hands.

"…Don't look at me. I'm hideous…." You whispered.

Kakashi tugged your hands away so that you were forced to look at him. One of his fingers came up to gently caress your cheek, tracing the smooth curve down to your chin and back up. You shut you eyes at the contact, breath coming heavy with the close proximity.

"I don't ever stop looking at you. I refuse to believe that you've never noticed."

You didn't dare believe your ears. Kakashi? Look at you? It was impossible. A mans lies to please women.

"How could I take my eyes off something so beautiful?"

Now he was just making things up, getting your attention and making you angry. After what you had just told him he was making fun of you with cheap jokes? It seemed that your affection for him had hidden what an absolute bastard he was.

Realising this you placed your hands on his chest and tried to shove him away from you, your tears forgotten and a fresh rage in their place. His eyes widened in shock and you tried in vain to move him, pushing and pulling for all you were worth. He was just so. Damn. STRONG!

Giving up throwing him off you, you settled for beating every inch of him into a pulp, thwacking his chest and shoulders repeatedly in fury. What with his bewildered and hurt expression and your chicken-like karate swipes, under any other circumstances the situation would have been hilarious, especially when you started shrieking incoherently at him in frustration. His puppy dog eyes gazed down at you in betrayed reproach as you gave up beating for a moment and lay with you chest heaving, looking up at him.

Without warning you slapped his face viciously, gaining a sort of grim satisfaction as it snapped to the painfully to the side. He sat still for a while, his face turned away from you and with your target skin blossoming into a vivid red. When Kakashi's eyes finally turned back to yours they were not filled with anger or accusations as you had expected from anyone being slapped so hard, but with the same desire and burning lust as they had held before. That just made you even more mad, that he was still pretending.

You slapped his other cheek just as violently but he turned back to look at you immediately, his breath falling heavily on your face. You raised your hand for a third blow but he quickly caught a hold of it and wrestled it to one side of your head, imprisoning the other just as easily on the other side, making you vulnerable and defenceless as his perfect features moved closer, searing with want. Just when he was mere millimetres away from your lips he paused, eyes shut, little smile on his lips, and a dreamy content expression flickering on his flawless face. It was as though he was savouring the moment, the calm before the storm. Kakashi took in a deep breath.

And he did the only thing that could have made you forget about your anger so quickly and completely.

He kissed you.

It was so much more than just a brief contact of lips; it was a lifetime of bliss and completion. In that single moment you could feel his breath hitch in time with your breath, his heartbeat thumping in syncopation with your heartbeat, his lips moving with your lips.

Passionate and meaningful, and it dispelled all your fears in one simple moment. You forgot about running from your past, those snake eyes in the dark. No matter how traumatic they were just memories. You forgot about hiding from everyone in the village like you were some sort of disease, about to contaminate them with your with your bad luck. You forgot about the pearly scar across your chest as Kakashi enveloped you in a haze of lust.

He broke away panting to bury his face in your neck, his nose bumping against your jaw line as he breathed you in deeply, moving to kiss at the outer shell of your ear. You barely noticed, disorientated by lust, except for the shiver of pleasure that ran through body like electric, powerful and erratic. He kissed his way down your neck and nuzzled into the crook of your shoulder making you writhe in pleasure beneath him, the length of his body pressed flush against yours and your hands still bound by his.

You couldn't help but arch into him gasping when he kissed at your pulse point, sucking a little and making it a bruise like mark. You could feel him smirking against your skin as he nibbled at it sharply to make you mewl softly and wriggle in his grip.

"You should say sorry. That was quite a beating you gave me and I must say," He nipped at you playfully again, teasing you into another reaction. "I'm quite hurt."

Your lips slid into a pout. You couldn't believe you had fallen into his trap! You were perfectly within your right to beat him into jelly, making fun of you like that. But now you couldn't fight back, what he was doing just felt so good…just the way you had always dreamed…

"I'm waiting~" He let his tongue drift up your neck, leaving the lightest of trails in its wake, and pause a particular point in your neck which made you moan when he sucked at it.

It was now or never, you had to get it out before you turned to mush in his arms. "You deserved it you bastard! Lying to me!" You managed to gasp out. He stopped him ministrations and pulled away to look at you. For the first time tonight he looked angry.

"I love you." He declared hotly.

"No…NO!" You thrashed back and forth in his unyielding prison. "STOP LYING TO ME!"

He pressed your foreheads together roughly so you shut your eyes tightly against the man whom you have adored for so many years.

"Arrie, I have loved you since the moment I met you." His voice was the epitome of sincerity. "Every moment of my time is devoted to thinking of you, I have watched over you all these years hoping, praying that no one would come and steal you from me. I knew and I relished the fact that I was the only one that you confided in, that I was your confidant, but it killed me that you had that one thing you never told me."

Both of your breathings were in harmony now. It felt so right. But you knew he wasn't finished.

"The first time that you came to me in the night I made a vow to myself as I watched you sleep in my lap. The day that you had the courage to tell me your story would be the day that I would once and for all confess my love for you." You heard a smile in his voice as a tear dripped, hot and moist, onto your cheek. "I've been running for so long Arrie, wont you believe me and save me?"

And your eyes opened once more to meet his, all of his face open to you now, no barriers between you, you saw a sincerity and eagerness in your old friends eyes that you hadn't seen before, and you knew that he loved you. And as you pressed you lips up against his in a gentle and chaste kiss you could have sworn that they were shining.

You could have sworn he was flying.

And you were too, at last with the man you loved. And you could see a future before that held no nightmares, and no demons hiding in every shadow. He would protect you form hell itself. At last you were safe.

After all, he was all you needed.