Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to these characters or any settings/songs/places. This is merely a fanmade writing experiment and is in no way profit making.

Be Careful What You Wish For!

Chapter One

Abby watched Connor closely, as the tears fell unheeded down his cheeks and she struggled to remain composed. Connor looked so broken, empty even. He had not said a word since he have vowed over Cutter's…. Oh God he's dead! Cutter is dead! Gone! Abby felt herself begin to shake in reaction and a howl of despair well up inside her but fought to control both. She had to try to hold it together. Connor needed her!

At the ARC, after Connor had carefully laid Cutter's body on the ground, Abby had turned and clung to him. Connor had put his arms around her and he'd held on to her as steadfastly as she'd held onto him. Neither had said anything. They just stood there holding one another. Until long after the ambulance had taken Cutter's lifeless body away. It was only as a soft rain had started to fall that Abby had once more become aware her surroundings and of the people around them. Abby had looked at each of them in turn.

Sarah wide eyed and stunned by it all. Becker bewildered and confused as to how any of this could have happened on his watch. Lester blustery, acting as if in charge of the chaos. Jenny shocked and heartbroken. Then Abby looked back up at the man holding her.

Connor looked hollow and was as still as a statue. Tears poured from his unseeing eyes. The only spark of life was how tightly he'd clung to her. Abby had felt Connor begin to shiver and knew she had to get him home. So reluctantly she had loosened his hold, and was alarmed at his docile acquiesce as she had firmly taken his hand, led him to the car and then driven them home.

Mute the entire car journey, Connor held a white knuckled grip on what looked like an old artifact and had just stared at it with unseeing eyes. He'd obediently followed her again, his hand in hers, when they had arrived home and she'd led him into their flat. Now he just stood there, silently weeping, clutching the artifact and blindly staring as the two Diictodons they had rescued chased Rex around his legs.

'Connor.' It came out a husky whisper, her voice raw from crying. She cleared her throat and tried again. 'Connor.' Her voice was louder this time but still he did not seem to hear her. Abby walked up to him and placed her one hand over his holding the artifact and gently touched his cheek with her other. 'Connor.' She said firmly and Connor blinked, focusing on her. Abby didn't not know if it was her voice or touch that had reached him but she saw him swallow and fresh tears fall from his eyes as he gasped.

'Abby?' Her name a question for which they both knew there was no happy answer. 'Abby.' Connor pleaded and Abby felt his disbelief and grief like a physical blow. Their gazes locked and Abby ached at the misery and despair she saw in his tormented eyes. Abby wanted to take his pain away. To tell him everything would be OK. That it wasn't true. That Cutter wasn't….

'Oh, Connor!' Abby wailed, losing the battle with her own tears. Connor's face swam out of focus as crippling truth broke her resolve and she quickly closed the gap between them. Abby wrapped her arms around Connor, rested her head on his chest and gasped in air as his arms came around her. She pressed herself against him, trying to ease his agony and find solace for her own. Desperately she tried to master her tears and took another deep breath.

Abby lifted her head and looked up into Connor's beautiful brown eyes. Eyes which only hours before had been full of sparkle and laughter as they had driven from the hospital and back to the ARC. Connor had teased her about them coming home from the labour ward with new babies. 'We're parents again.' Connor had grinned at her and Abby was shocked at how his smile had the power to make her go weak at the knees.

'It's OK guy's. You're adopted.' Abby had told the Diictodons with a grin of her own. Then wished the words unsaid as she saw from Connor's skew answering smile that she had hurt him again. Abby hated herself for fabricating more barriers between them and for bringing that stricken look into his eye. She hurt herself when she hurt Connor and it sickened her in both heart and soul! Yet Abby could no more help her instinctive response to keep him at a distance than she could help breathing.

When alone in the quiet of the night Abby argued with herself as the truth she had long denied taunted her. If only to herself Abby had to admit she had always been drawn to Connor Temple. Her niggling conscience would not let her ignore how cute she had thought him right from the start. She had instinctively trusted him and they had easily had become best friends. Readily she had let him share her home and far too quickly, with an ease that concerned her, Connor had become central to her world. That set off alarm bells louder than those on the anomaly detector with Abby!

Connor had blackmailed his way into her home but Abby knew despite his manipulations that Connor wouldn't really have betrayed her if she had refused him shelter. Even though she denied it out loud, to herself Abby had to confess she had let Connor move in because she enjoyed his company. That in fact she'd always felt a connection with Connor, she loved living and working with him, she loved him…. NO!

Abby had shied away from the intensity of her true feelings and even managed to successfully bury them for a while. That was until Connor had unknowingly uncovered them! And once she'd acknowledged her feelings to herself they refused to stay ignored. Abby Maitland was in love with Connor Temple but self preservation made her deny it to herself, the world and most importantly to Connor.

Abby had long held Connor at bay and denied her true feelings because she knew Connor was never going to be just a one night stand. Connor was never going to be a simple passing fling. Not like it would have been even if she had ever got together with Stephen. Even if Stephen hadn't have been a cheat Abby knew she never would have been, or even hoped to be, Mrs Stephen Hart. On the other hand she instinctively knew that any relationship she had with Connor would be deep, intense and all consuming. It would certainly be so for Connor's part in it! Thus Abby had convinced both of them that they were just best friends and nothing more.

So Abby had been stunned to discover that she was jealous of Caroline! Abby had felt an instant animosity towards Connor's girlfriend, had immediately been on the defensive, felt hurt and insecure. Abby refused to look too deeply into the reasons why and had chosen to believe it was just dislike of Caroline's invading her home and mistreatment of Rex that were the cause of her resentment. Then she'd been taken by the Mer creature!

She'd never forget the look in Connor's eyes or how he'd desperately clung to her as she dangled from that cliff….

'Just let me go. Let me go.' She begged. 'I can't!' Connor cried. 'Please?!' She sobbed. 'I love you!' Connor avowed.

'I love you!' Abby had been terrified and certain they were both about to die yet she had never felt more alive or elated as when she heard Connor yell those words. 'I love you!' Connor had shouted and Abby was astounded to realise she loved him too. What silenced her then and since was that her feelings for Connor terrified more than the Mer! Abby had denied to Lucian that Connor was her boyfriend, which was a fact but knew in her heart it was just prevarication.

In his eyes, Abby had seen how Connor truly felt about her as he's flailed about avoiding his admission once back at their flat. Abby was also sure that if Cruella Deville had arrived five minutes later, Caroline would have walked in on a much more compromising scene!

Abby had known then that if things developed between her and Connor it would be the real thing, a once in a lifetime, true love deal. Weather she admitted it or not, Connor was her soul mate and if they ever crossed the line from friends to lovers there would be no going back. And it scared the hell out of her!

Abby trusted Connor. She knew he would never hurt her. What terrified her was the thought that she would screw up any intimate relationship they might have and that she would lose her best friend. Lose the one person she had always been able to rely on and who had always put her wants and needs first. Abby was aware that past hurts made her defensive and cautious when it came to matters of the heart but she was petrified that she might lose Connor if they became lovers and things went awry. Which is why she'd built tower blocks trying to keep her deeper feelings for Connor contained.

Now his wounded eyes were pools of sorrow and Abby wanted to forever banish the drowning look he gave her. Helplessly he gazed at her and she felt him begin to shake in her arms again. As she swam in his chocolate orbs Abby realised that the thought of losing Connor terrified her but seeing him suffer was an unbearable torture that she could not endure and would do anything to ease. Even if it meant tearing down the barricades she had so long defended!

Abby stepped out of his arms and gently took Connor's hand again. Linking their fingers she silently led Connor to her bedroom, to stand by her bed and slowly began to undress him. Like a marionette with its strings cut Connor gazed at her with unfocused eyes and seemed unaware that she was slowly divesting him of his clothes.

She undid his belt and snap of his trousers and let them drop to his knees, leaving him stood in his Batman boxers. She guided Connor to sit as she pulled off his boots, socks and slacks. She slipped his waistcoat down his arms and jumped as if burned when Connor yelled, 'NO!' as she tried to take the artifact from him. Abby saw his manic grief and and her heart ached for him.

'It's O.K, Conn. I'm just going to put it safe on the side so you can get undressed and some rest.' Abby soothed as she slowly eased open his clenched fingers.

Connor let Abby open his hand but then tightened it back around the artifact again as Abby began to lift it from him and her gaze snapped back to his. His eyes implored as he beseechingly explained. 'I have to keep it safe. It matters. I promised...' Connor got no further as tears choked him.

'Shh it's alright, Connor. I promise. I promise we will keep it safe.' Abby pledged, once more prying open his fingers. 'See? I'm just going to put it safe on the side here.' Abby softly said, taking the artifact from him. Abby placed the artifact securely on her dressing table and turned back to see Connor silently sobbing. Abby quickly hugged him before she finished removing his waistcoat and lifting his top shirt up over his head and off.

Sat in only his boxers and yellow t shirt Connor gazed at her exposed and vulnerable. He trembled with grief. His sorrowful eyes followed her as she quickly undressed down to just her pants and long white shirt. Connor gave no smile or even hint of reaction to her slipping her bra off from under her shirt or to the fact that they were both now half naked together in her bedroom. This more than anything scared her.

Abby knew Connor was physically attracted to her. She often caught him staring at her, he always paid her pretty compliments and he could not hide his smitten grin every time he saw her walking around in her underwear. So his lost, disconsolate expression now spoke volumes to the depth of his grief.

Stephen's death had been a blow to them all and had left Connor hurting and a little distant. Now they had all suffered another devastating blow. They all had to face the empty hole that Cutter's loss created but the vacant look in Connor's eyes made Abby fearful of how Connor would cope with his mentor's death. She had just undressed in front of him and all she saw in Connor's gaze was mute agony. She was frightened she may never see his cheeky, adoring grin again.

Abby wanted to magic away the pain but nothing could bring Cutter back from the dead and fill this gut wrenching wound. She let her own tears begin to fall as she crawled onto her bed and lay down. Abby needed to hold Connor as much as he needed to be held. She opened her arms and whispered. 'Come here, Conn.' Connor's face crumpled as he gave an agonised groan and tightly wrapped his arms around her waist and buried is head in her stomach. Abby gave an answering sob as she lovingly cradled his head.

Abby had no notion how long they lay such, his arms grasping her desperately, his head nestled on her tummy. She tenderly stroked his hair as she held him and her shirt was soon sodden with Connor's tears. Her own pillow soggy from her weeping. Minutes, hours or days could have passed. Time lost all meaning as they clung to each other and mourned. There was no thought of lust or sexual desire. Not even when Connor rolled over and pulled Abby with him so she was now the one lying on his chest. It was just comfort. Pure and simple.

Connor gave into exhaustion first. His hiccups and sobs eventually turning to soft snores and Abby found the escape of oblivion not long after. Connor's now even breathing a soothing sedative. Abby's last thought as she fell asleep was to wonder how things stood between them now because even though it was all in innocence a line had been crossed as they cleaved to one another. A bond deeper and more intrinsic than that even of sex forged. There would be no going back to pretending they were just friends after this and as Abby drifted off holding Connor safely in her arms she found she couldn't bring herself to care.