I DO NOT OWN MAXIMUM RIDE. PERIOD. NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH. IF I DID, I WOULD MAKE FANG COME BACK AND SUCH. THIS IS WHAT I WILL ASK SANTA FOR ON CHRISTMAS.

IT BELONGS TO JAMES PATTERSON.

This is so stupid.

This was the only thought going through my head. Muttering to myself, I stared out the window of our Jeep. I caught a glimpse of the reflection on the window and narrowed my eyes. Sitting next to me was the devil incarnate himself, whistling to the tune of Yankee Doodle and happily driving to our new home; better known as my new prison.

It was just yesterday that Jeb, my overprotective dad told me that we were moving, and let me tell you; my reaction wasn't that great. I won't go into details, but I'll just tell you that after two hours of arguing, I still don't even understand WHY we were moving.

"So…what do you think of your new school?" Jeb tried striking up a conversation. Because I am totally nice and the most generous person in the world, I ignored him and adjusted my seatbelt.

Jeb stared at the road in front of him while I glared at his ear. I never knew he had brown ear hair. He coughed uncomfortably and said, "I know this is hard on you, growing up in one town for fifteen years, having a great life, and then suddenly moving to a new city, having to make new friends."

Now the old man realizes this? I had the greatest life ever! I had friends, my boyfriend Dylan, and I felt like I belonged. Yup, now it's packing the old bags and scooting out. This was joyful.

After an hour of total silence, with the occasional whistling, we entered a neighborhood. Jeb drove up to a house.

It was a white two story house with a brown roof and shutters. A porch welcomed us with an old rocking chair. Flowers lined the pathway and the lawn was a deep rich green. Butterflies flitted to and fro between each flower. In other words, it was a Barbie Dream House.

"We're here. Take your suitcase and unpack your clothes. Your bed is in the room to the left on the second floor. The rest of the furniture will arrive tomorrow." Jeb said as he parked.

I retched at the scene of pure happiness but continued into the house. The inside wasn't much better. It had the same color scheme and there even was a picture frame with smiling ducks. Oh joy. At least the walls weren't covered with duck wallpaper.

I turn around and come face to face with a living nightmare. Instead of ducky wallpaper, it was a duck room! On a yellow ducky shelf were little yellow ducky figurines. There were duck bean bag chairs, duck EVERYTHING. I shuddered in horror. The walls were a hideous yellow and the carpet…was frogs.

Whoever previously owned this house had a sick sense of humor. But I wasn't surprised. I should've known that where ever Jeb was going to move us, it would be someplace really creepy. I quickly run up the stairs, hoping to wash my eyes from this unholiness.

My room wasn't that bad. The walls were white and there was a window seat next to a gigantic window over-looking the backyard. My bed was in the middle of the room and an empty space was where my desk was going to be. The closet was walk-in and was half as big as my room.

"You can paint the room any color you want." Jeb told me as he entered the room. He walked over to the window and gazed outside. "The view is pretty good too. You can almost make a lift-off from the seat and fly." He joked.

Rolling my eyes, I walk over to him. Jeb thinks that he's the funniest man in the world. I smirk as I think of the perfect advertisement.

"Jeb Batchelder, boring father, includes dry humor, horrible puns, and jokes that don't make sense. Call right this instant and you get the bonus gift of an extra dorky outfit! Buy one today!"

"Hey Maxie, look outside. Is your head in the clouds?" Jeb waved his hand in front of my face. I smirked and glanced at him, the commercial running through my head. Jeb looked down at me, pinched my cheek (extremely hard, I should add,) and turned my head toward the window.

Two words: Fairy meadow. It was disgusting, but… it was still pretty…ish. Flowers were everywhere, ranging from blush pink to royal blue. There were roses, carnations, daisies, forget-me-nots, whatever-elses, and stuff. In the middle of it all was a humongous fountain with crystal clear water pouring from cheeky cherubs with jars (urns, Jeb called them) and mermaids were at the edges of it with water shooting out of their mouths. Not very attractive if you ask me, I mean, why do people think that water shooting out of your mouth and into the fountain is beautiful? If someone did that in real life, they'd be in a pickle.

At the tippy top of the fountain was an angel with flowing hair and a calm expression on her face. Her hands we folded and her wings were tucked in at the tips, as if she was forming a protective shell of feathers around herself from…something.

It seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place my finger on it. Oh well, it's just me and craziness that I got from Jeb. Speaking of the devil, he was staring at the angel too, deep in thought.

Just to annoy him, I poked his cheek. "He-whom-calls-himself-my-father, why are you so think-y today?" I smirked as I poked him over and over and over.

He gazed back and said, "I've been thinking about angels…their wings really."

Okay…this was really freaking me out. Since when was Jeb sentimental? And since when did he start to think that deeply. Then it hit me. He's becoming a poet in his spare time. That is the only explanation, next to the possessed body and alien invasion, that is.

"Are you ever this deep or is your brain just turning mushy from old age?" I teased. I know that Jeb hates to acknowledge that he IS getting older. Hey, some people don't like to acknowledge the fact that the sixties are gone and are making tie-dyed stuff. Go figure.

"That's my angel right there, the feisty, evil fallen type." Jeb bantered back and he cringed as I punched him.

"Very funny, man of many faces, if I really were a fallen angel, I'd drag you down with me to the nearest ice cream place and force feed you until you can't move."

He ruffled my hair and walked towards the door. As he was around the corner, Jeb turned and said, "Unpack your clothes and get ready for tomorrow. It's your first day of school, you know."

I groaned at the thought of school and threw stuff out of my suitcase and into the closet. Afterwards, I landed on my bed and stared at the interesting blank white ceiling.

Why does Jeb think about angels? And why did I feel a nagging sensation when he spoke about…wings?

"Ughhh…" I moaned as I slammed my head on the desk. This is the last place I wanted to be, in school. Sure, every kid doesn't like school, but it's nothing compared to the hatred bubbling deep inside my soul. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, I'll rephrase that. It is nothing compare to the boiling river of pure hate and revulsion that courses through my veins.

The reason why? I don't really know exactly why. I blame Jeb for my strangeness.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

I turned and saw a guy with reddish-blonde hair giving me a worried look sitting in the desk next to me. I shot him a weird look, but he seemed to ignore it.

"I asked, 'what's the matter?'" he repeated as if I was "challenged".

"Oh, uh, it's just that I really hate school with a passion and I'm new here?"

He flashed me a grin, "'Kay, that's alright. The name's Iggy by the way." Iggy held out his hand for me to shake.

"Uh, hey. I'm Max, Maximum Ride." I take his hand and shake it hesitantly.

"Cool." Iggy leaned back on his chair. "Why did you move here? Sorry if I sound rude or anything, just curious."

"Honestly, I don't really know why, but Jeb had a job transfer or something."

Iggy almost fell out of his chair, but he caught himself in time. "Who's Jeb?"

"Oh, he's my dad. I don't know why I don't call him dad, but I feel more comfortable calling him Jeb."

"Oh…" Iggy seemed deep in thought. "Is your dad a scientist or something? Cause I think I've heard of him somewhere, on the news or something."

"Yeah, he's a scientist. He works for the Itex Corporation as a bio-chemist or something," I shrugged, "I don't know what he does really."

Iggy chuckled, but there was a hint of uneasiness for some reason. "Since you don't really know anyone here, do you want to join me for lunch? I don't think my friends will mind."

"Sure. I'd love too." I beamed at him.

The teacher walked in and stood at the front of the room. She was an old, rotund (it's an understatement) lady with thick glasses and an annoying smile. "Class, get settled down, and Maximum, will you come to the front please?"

I rolled my eyes inwardly and strode up next to the teacher. "Hi, you can just call me Max."

"So, Maximum, I'm your Civics teacher Ms. Callaghan. You can sit next to Iggy. Iggy, will you please raise your hand?"

Oh my whole wheaty goodness. Was this teacher stupid, or just extremely oblivious? I couldn't help but sigh heavily. I looked up at Iggy. He had an amused smile on his face as he raised his hand.

"Good, good, now, Maximum, go sit next to that boy. I'll have him take you around the campus, alright dear?"

"Yes, Ms. Cowman."

"Good, you have my name memorized. Now go on and have a seat."

I walked back and sat down. Iggy turned to me and said, "She was a kindergarten teacher a few years ago. Her hearing and her mind is ever decreasing. You could scream bloody murder and she still wouldn't notice." He grinned, "I actually tested that theory."

"Really? Are you for real?"

"Yup," he puffed up his chest in mock arrogance, "and for a reward, I got a detention."

I burst out laughing but Ms. Callaghan continued teaching. So it was true. She was just a deaf old cow.

From this I knew, that Civics (and possibly school, just possibly) would be interesting.

Lunch rolled by after second period. School was a bit boring so far, (with an exception to Civics, it was a blast.) I grabbed a tray of teriyaki chicken with rice and glanced around the cafeteria.

"Max! Over here!" Iggy waved at me from the other side. I walked over and saw that there was another guy sitting next to him. He had black hair, his bangs covering his face. His face was pale and his piercing dark eyes stared back at me. His glance sent shivers down my spine. Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome, it wouldn't surprise me if he was a jerk. The good looking ones always turned out that way.

"Sit over here," Iggy patted a seat next to him, "and that moody person over there is Fang."

"You're the one talking, Iggy," Fang forked a piece of chicken and held it midway to his mouth, "you're all happy and jolly good, the next moment you're all sad and moping." He then put it in his mouth and chewed slowly.

Iggy pouted jokingly and started practically inhaling his lunch while Fang chomped viciously on the chicken.

"The poor chicken. What did it ever do to you?" I smirked mockingly.

"Hn?" the chicken was halfway out of his mouth. Iggy started laughing and then stared choking.

"Karma, Iggy, Karma," Fang chastised as Iggy started to beat violently at his chest, "What goes round, comes around."

"Fangy, Fangy!" a red-headed girl in a skimpy outfit skipped over. "I missed you during Language!" she hugged Fang from behind.

"Hey Lissa," Fang smiled at her and grabbed her by her waist, "Fangy missed you too."

"Is it right to say that I am disgusted?" I whispered to Iggy.

"Darn right, Max. I forgot to add in the résumé that Fang is known to be, what's that word? Oh yeah, a player."

I retched as Lissa and Fang started making out. Iggy just sat there with a confused face.

"Can't you see what's happening? It's gross. Are you blind?" I whispered to Iggy.

"Why yes, I am blind." Iggy replied with a serious face.

"Seriously?"

He nodded.

"Oh, wait, I'm really sorry. I didn't know. I -"

Iggy just waved it off, "It's okay, and it's nothing, really. I'm told that a bunch of times."

"No, it's just that I thought you could see just fine because you don't bump into things and you can write down the notes that the teacher writes on the chalkboard, not to mention that you waved to me from the other side of the cafeteria."

"Oh, I have a great sense of hearing. There's a pattern when writing and I can decipher most of the words and I can place where things are by the sound waves. I heard your tray and your voice from the other side of the cafeteria and," Iggy smirked, "I heard pants and sloshing, so I assumed either someone had just run a marathon or that Fang and Misa were playing tonsil hockey."

"Why do you want to break up with ME?"

Iggy and I zoned back to Fang and Lissa. Apparently they had started arguing.

"I'm sorry Lissa; it's just that, I didn't feel a connection. I never felt a vibe, a spark."

"A VIBE? Oh, you want a SPARK? A CONNECTION? And you never felt one when you were with me? Even when we MADE OUT?" Lissa started screaming now.

Iggy and I tried to hide our laughter, but one managed to slip past my mouth. Lissa turned and glared at me.

She pointed a finger at me and screeched, "It's YOU isn't it? You're the one that's taking Fangy away from me!"

"Ha, as if. Hell, I wouldn't even get near him even if I was given all the money in the world. What do you see in him anyway?"

"You mean what I saw in him," she sniffed, "at least I know that I'm free again."

"What?"

"Now I can go after Matt again!" she gushed. Lissa then skipped away shouting, "MATT~!"

"And she goes away broken hearted." Fang mused.

"And the guy goes away broken headed after I beat him up." I retorted as I smacked him upside in the head. Iggy chortled as Fang rubbed the aching spot.

"That's why you should always stay with one girl, Fang," Iggy said as he brushed the tears out of his eyes, "or else Max will beat you up."

"Fine," Fang slid next to me and grabbed my waist, "then I'll go out with her then."

This really pissed me off. Ten seconds after dumping that Lissa girl, he goes up to the next available catch, me. Even though I don't know much about relationships, I know this has to be taboo somewhere in the Normal Person's Book of Dating of something. But he's playing by the Player's Guide to Everyday Dating. Joy.

"So, how about it, up for the offer?" he leaned dangerously close.

Ring, ring, ring!

I slammed his face away from mine. "Thanks for the offer, but I humbly decline. Even though it has me quaking in pure excitement, I have class to attend." I told him sarcastically as I dumped my tray in his lap. "Throw that away for me, will you? Thanks."

Fang smirked back, sauntered to the trash can, and dropped the tray into it. By the time he turned around, I was gone.

I couldn't believe my luck. My next period just happened to be biology, one of my most hated subjects in the world, and the one with Fang in it. Joy. Just to make it even better: the teacher had to introduce me and now Fang knows a lot now, not to mention that I sit in a table next to his. (Cry, sob, stab) On the bright, happy, sunny, jolly side…eh, there's nothing if you count having a nerd for a lab partner.

Sorry to say, the nerd next to me went home sick because of the stench the frogs were giving off. And it just happened to be that Fang's partner went home sick because she accidentally licked the frog's leg. Now through these series of unfortunate events, I am sitting next to Fang.

"So Maximum, would you like to help me dissect this poor, innocent frog?" Fang looked over and tried to hand me the knife/scalpel thingy. I just sat on the stool with my hands crossed over my chest, staring silently at the cold frog lying belly up on the tray. Did it ever get the chance to live?

I started to feel sick and pushed the tray away. "I don't feel right experimenting on the frog," I mumbled. Fang stared at me in a funny way. "I mean, did it have a family? Did it have feelings? Did it croak for help as the scientists gave it an injection and froze it for stupid and brash high school students to dissect in the near future," I sighed as I continued, "I-I'm sorry if I sounded weird just then. It's just that I have a weird feeling against doing this…"

"Eh, it's nothing," he smiled as he pushed the tray back to me, "but if I were that frog, I would like to be stabbed by someone as beautiful as you, because then death won't seem so bad."

Aw, that's sweet. But too bad that guy's a jerk and is trying to pick me up a few hours after breaking up with that Lissa girl. Anyway, I just glared at him and tried not to stick out my tongue.

"Mister Fang and Miss Ride, please proceed on working by dissecting the frog. If I have to talk to you again, you will be sent to the office."

"I. Don't. Want. This." I hissed as I pushed it back to him.

"I know that I would like to have my heart held by a cutie like you." He winked and he pushed it back.

"No." the frog was back to Fang.

"Yes." The frog was now in my possession. Darn. I looked around, and saw that Teacher Lady person glaring in my general direction.

"Fine, but you have to cut it open."

Fang shrugged and complied. He picked up the knife and continued to slice it open. After seeing a squiggly thing near where the legs are supposed to be and a gray blob, everything faded to black.

"Nnnnnng…" I groaned as I opened my eyes. A blinding white ceiling sneered back at me. Then a sharp pain shot through my head, and I felt my brain pulse every time. Ugh, why is everything against me today?

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty," said an all too familiar voice.

"God, that was such a cliché line, Fang," I struggled to get out of the cot, "ugh, my head hurts. What happened after I fainted?"

"Uh, when I was carrying you out of the classroom to the nurse, I—"

"Did you touch me? If you did, I. Will. Kill. YOU."

"Naw, I didn't. I dropped you instead."

That explained the pain beating at my brain with spatulas. I thought I saw stars shooting around Fang's head. I groaned, "What time is it?"

"It's almost time to leave this boring hole of a school, Maxie, you can go home now." Fang smirked (is that all he ever does?) and pushed me back down.

"Then whatever is the reason that you are pushing me down for?" I asked through clenched teeth. My head hurt even more when I did that.

"Simple: I want to spend more time with you."

Aw. That's sweet. Too bad I'm not the romantic squishy type.

"No, for another simple reason: Jeb will worry about me."

Fang did a double take, his eyes wide with surprise, but then the emotion melted away from his face. "Is he your dad?"

"Yes, but I like to call him Jeb, now leave me alone."

Fang was silent for a few seconds. Finally some peace and quiet and a piece of quiet, I joked to myself.

"So you want to leave now?" I poked him in the arm. Fang glanced up, mumbled, "Yeah, sure," and walked out of the room. What got his pancakes in a knot?

"Are you coming?" Fang tried smirking, but ended smiling a half smile.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a sec." I replied, propping myself up. Fang shrugged and sauntered away. I sighed as I brought my knees up to my chest. Why was Jeb's name or Jeb for that matter freaking everyone out? I know that he was a weirdo at times, but he's myfatherly weirdo. But still, why did Fang and Iggy react that way to his name?

"Hey, Max, over here."

I swiveled my head and saw that Iggy and Fang were standing with three other kids. One of them was a black girl, around middle school age looking, and the two others looked like siblings, both with blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Oh hey," I walked over. The kids stared at me with interest. The blonde girl was peering at me, like I was a caged animal at the zoo or something. It made me feel, what was that word…awkward? No, it was more than awkward. It's that feeling you get when, let's say, you walk into a vegetarian restaurant while eating one of those huge turkey leg things you get at a Renaissance festival. Yup, it's that feeling.

That isn't creepy at all, I thought to myself, that's just a creepy girl who looks like an angel…

"I'm not creepy." Goldilocks said. Fang and Iggy tried to give her glares but she seemed to ignore them. What is up with these people?

"What?" I was shocked, did she read my mind? Oh holy muffins.

"I did read your mind, but we aren't creepy. And I don't think muffins are holy either, cupcakes might, but not muffins."

The black girl came over to me and excitedly chattered, "Hi! My name's Nudge. I like my name because it rhymes with fudge and I like fudge. Also, it's the color of my skin, except it's a bit darker, don't you think? And that boy there is Gasman, Gazzy for short, and that girl who was just talking to you is Angel. I like you because you're pretty."

I just gaped in amazement at how much this girl had said in the last fifteen seconds. I never knew someone can string six sentences seventy miles per hour and not get out of breath.

"She thinks you talk a lot, Nudge." Angel (more like strange child) said. She then proceeded to stare at me again, "I'm not strange. Once you get to know us, we won't be so weird and creepy. And we have wi—"

The black girl clamped her hand over Goldilocks pie eating hole. She smiled nervously at me. Fang gave her a relieved glance and Gazzy was just squatting on the ground staring at ants.

"Ha, sorry Max, little Angel here has had a lotof sugar," Iggy ruffled her hair while she pouted, "right Angel?"

"Yup, and I ate a lot of beans"

"Gazzy!"

Fang smirked at the events unfolding. This was funny, but really dangerous. What if Max was with them? They would come and take them all back and do horrible stuff again. So his decision: too stay as distant from Max as possible, although that would be difficult, being a player and all. But Angel was making it difficult, and was showing, almost flouncing her mind reading powers and almost gave away their secret.

I'm not flouncing my powers; I'm just showing my potential to Max. And she won't know what we have unless we wave them right in her face.

Fang twitched. He hated it when Angel spoke to them like that and the fact that she can pop into anyone's thoughts just like the way you just walk into a room. He can't even think of calling her a brat because she'll get her revenge in the worst ways possible. Stay out of my thoughts, Angel, I want my privacy. And be sensible, she could be part of them for all we know.

Fang could see Angel smirking up at him. If she was them then she would be thinking of ways to catch us, right? But so far, she's only thinking on how strange you guys are acting. And chill Fang, why are you so serious around us and laid back with the girls? Talk about a mask and pseudo personalities.

Since when did you know such big words, Ange?

Since I started to read your textbooks, and I can't read Iggy's because he's blind, remember? They're all in Braille.

I learned a new thing today. It's a very interesting fact, very intriguing. Insert a drum roll, come on, you guys can do better than that.

The "interesting fact": The origin of Gazzy's name. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way along with the rest of the queer crew. Gazzy called it his silent, yet deadly ninja. The stench made my eyes water.

"Gazzy! Why couldn't you do your loud and proud one? It doesn't smell as much!" Iggy coughed, tears streaming from his blue eyes. Nudge and Angel had their hands over their noses and Fang was trying to blink his tears away so no one would notice.

Just then, I heard a car pull up. We all turned to see a black sleek car pull up at the front of the school. The door opened and two men in suits with shades stepped out. They could've been in an issue of a magazine for attractive men spies or something. But something about them gave me a vibe, not a good one at all. I sensed the Queer Crew tense up behind me.

"It's them…" Gasman whispered while glaring disgustedly at them.

"We have to go behind the school. That's the only way we can get away without being seen," Fang commanded and the kids nodded in agreement. Angel reached for Iggy's hand and held on tight. He nodded in response and they slowly started to back away. As soon as the men looked our way, Fang grabbed my hand and ran.

"Wait, what's going on?" I shouted to Fang as we all ran to the back. He let go of my hand and left me just standing there confused. What the heck? Why did he leave me here? "Get back here you butt!" I screamed, but then I decided to just run after them.

By the time I reached there, I looked around. The place was empty, not even a single hair of them. This place was a dead end, and the only place they could hide was the trash cans. Were they that desperate to hide to run from those people?

Then a flapping noise came to my ears. I looked up and saw five birds in the distance. But something seemed to be a little off, as if they were wings attached to something. I shook my head and held my hand to my forehead. Today was just getting to me. And maybe the fact that Fang dropped me on his journey to the nurse could've contributed to that…

Yup, it was definitely getting to me because now I think one of guys that ran around the corner turned into a werewolf. Oh my God, let me guess. Jeb threw me into a set for a movie. And it's one of those cheesy vampires vs. werewolves for sure; probably the Queer Crew is the vampire pack.

"Ha, this is funny; the camera crew can come out now." I yelled to the trash cans, the walls, the werewolf impersonators. The werewolf stood on his hind legs and gave a deep, throaty chuckle, "What are you saying, human? Do you think this is a movie?" His companion joined in his laughter. What did I do now?

"Oh, this is no movie." He rumbled with a wolfish grin (I really need to start thinking about different ways to describe wolf men.)

"What do you mean? This has to be a movie." Wait, I take that back, after what happened today after mind reading Shirley Temple, this just might possibly be—

"It's real, doll, absolutely real," the second wolf growled, sneering as he advanced, "And I'm gonna have a helluva time killing you, then the bird kids."

Bird kids?

The werewolf lunged and I felt myself being tugged back. Is this how my life ends? I shut my eyes; I didn't want to see my blood and guts. Frog insides were enough for me, thank you very much.

I felt a whoosh of air and felt my get off the ground. I opened my eyes and saw the wolves getting tinier and tinier. Then I realized I felt pressure on my arms, as if someone was gripping me. I looked up and saw the familiar dark eyes looking down at me. Behind that face, were midnight black feathers?

Wings?

This is not happening.

"Get Eraser One, Nudge. Iggy and Gazzy, you guys get Eraser Two. Angel, you can help Nudge."

"Wh-what? Angel can fight one of those things?" I said in disbelief. My doubts disappeared the moment she round housed that dog. Now I'm scared.

In a matter of seconds, it was all over. The werewolves were sprawled on top of each other inside the dumpster. I gaped like a goldfish in amazement as Gazzy slammed the lid down with a vicious bang!

"Take that mangy Eraser~!" Nudge stuck out her tongue.

"Hey, it's time to fly guys. Let's go before they realize that we go to this school." Fang looked at me for some reason. What is up with him?

Angel tugged on my sleeve, "Don't worry, he just worries about our flock. He thinks you're a potential enemy, whatever that means…" Fang visibly flinched at her comment. Is she a demon child or something?

"Come on Angel, we should leave now." Nudge pulled her away from me and took off into the air. I watched as they flew off into the sky. A single black feather floated down.

I picked it up, and as I stared at it, came to a mind shattering conclusion:

I blame Jeb for my screwed up life.

So, how was it? It might be sort of dry on the humor. Any way, special thanks to my FANTABULOUS beta, Strawberry Pencil. Her stories are delicious, you should read them.

If you guys still remember that Lissa girl and that Matt person up there somewhere, I originally put the names as Misa and Light from Death Note. It totally fit it right there. *giggles uncontrollably* Anywho, if you don't know Death Note, it's okay. But, you get an extra cookie if you do!

So, what are you waiting for? Click on the magical button that disposes cookies (and gives me fuzzy warm feelings).

Come on! Go, go, go!

Make the world a happier place!

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