For Sofia, who prompted me with Rachel talking about Finn on a show like Cory did for Lea, coupled with something happening to Finn while she's there. This is for you! And for Lauren, who puts up with all my crap all the time! Hope you guys like it!
I don't own Finn, Rachel or anything related to glee. I own the plot, or kind of own it with Sofia I suppose.
Reach for Me
Rachel had never felt better, had never been happier. As she walked back to her dressing room, she allowed the feelings that were coursing through her veins to take her over. She felt like she was floating along the floor of the hallway as she approached the room the show producers had designated for her use. Her cheeks ached from the smiling she was doing, but she couldn't help it. It had been a long few months, and now that Funny Girl was finally coming up on opening night she finally felt like she could breathe. She felt good about the interview she had just done, her cheeks hurting from the way she was smiling. She brought her fingers up to her lips to stifle a giggle as she entered her dressing room and flung herself on the small couch that had been provided.
"So tell us, how does a small town girl from Ohio make it big on Broadway at just 20 years old?" the interview who sat across from her asked happily.
Rachel beamed as she slowly crossed her legs at the ankles, smoothing out the white pencil skirt she was wearing. Her favourite skirt.
"It's kind of a funny story, actually," she started with a giggle. "Where should I start?"
"Well the beginning is always a good place," the interviewer laughed.
Rachel couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, it's kind of a long story but I could give you the version my boyfriend says is appropriate," she paused to play with the dainty star necklace that hung around her neck. "I've known I wanted to be on Broadway since before I even knew what Broadway was. My Dad's raised me on musicals, specifically Barbra Streisand ones and from the moment I finished my first viewing of Funny Girl I knew that performing was what I wanted to do with my life."
"How old were you when you decided this?"
"I was 4," Rachel laughed. "It was Christmas break, and being Jewish my fathers had to entertain me the entire break. Funny Girl was first and we spent the next few days until the new year watching every Barbra Streisand film ever made. They searched high and low for copies," she shook her head a little at the memory. Her father's never let her forget her humble beginnings. "But it was that experience that gave me the idea. It wasn't until I started dance classes and singing lessons the next year that I really thought it was something I could do. Though the road here did have a few bumps, I'm thrilled that my first role is Fanny Brice, she was my idol growing up."
"Now, a little birdie told us you were a member of your high school Glee club..."
"Was that little birdie Mr. Schuster?" Rachel laughed. "Yes, I was in my high school glee club! We were National Champions in 2012," she puffed out her chest a little bit. When she exhaled her smile softened."The glee club is also how I met my boyfriend, Finn." She gave a little wave to the camera, before blowing a kiss and chuckling. "He's probably not even watching. It's his day off so he's probably sleeping on the couch," she laughed again.
"So you're high school sweethearts then?"
Rachel felt herself blush before nodding. "He's the love of my life," she whispered, barely audible without the microphone pinned to the collar of her blouse.
"How has he adjusted to being linked to the next up and coming Broadway star?"
"He's the best," the beam that came across her features was hard to keep inside. "He knows how important Broadway has always been to me, how big my dream always was. He kept me in check and sane during our glee club days. My need for perfection was real back then," she laughed. "I think I drove everyone a little crazy with how hard I was on them. Even him. But he's stuck around all these years," she paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. The interviewer stared expectantly at her, and she chewed her lip. "He's my rock. He is my calm in the crazy storm that is the life I lead. He's quick with a massage after a long rehearsal - when he's home that is - he always knows when I'm out of bubble bath without me telling him," she paused to chuckle. "He'll even run to Bath and Body Works and buy it - he's not ashamed," she stopped to let her memories and words catch up with her. Her mind was taken to the handsome man she got to call her boyfriend, and her mind quickly wondered what he was up to. It was his day off, and he probably was sleeping - he liked his sleep. "He's just...he's the best guy. I love him. He's mine."
"You said he was in glee club with you, is he a performer now as well?"
Rachel shook her head. "No. He's a fireman, with the FDNY. He's not just my hero, he's everyone's hero," she praised.
"We appreciate and commend him for his service," the interviewer commended. Rachel reached for the necklace again before turning her attention directly onto the interviewer again. "Now, we'd like to touch a little bit on your time at NYADA..."
Rachel straightened her back in the comfortable chair she had been sat in and cleared her throat. "Yes, I spent a year studying under..."
Rachel lifted herself from the couch and rolled over onto her back. She giggled a little as she remembered the words she had spoken about Finn, and she felt the blush creeping up her cheeks once more, much like they had in the interview. She felt good about what she had said, the show publicist had given her a thumbs up a few minutes ago as she walked back to her dressing room, approving of the interview that had lasted the better part of half an hour. She spied her large purse on the table in front of her and she rolled to stretch her arm in front of her to grab it. Finn had promised her a text when he got up when they went to bed last night. She wanted to know if he had found the plate of hashbrowns and turkey bacon she had left him to keep warm in the microwave. She spent a few minutes digging through the large bag that was a celebratory gift from Kurt and Blaine when she had landed the role. She let out a deep breath as she finally landed on her iPhone. She relaxed back into the couch on her back and turned the phone on, chewing her lip as she waited for the phone to boot up. When it turned on, the small device lit up with endless messages from friends and family, many from her Dads and Carole and Burt, commenting on the interview.
And one from Finn.
"Break a leg babe, got called to the firehouse for a briefing - see you at home! Love you more."
She smiled at the sentiment, opening the messages app to send him a note back. Everyone else could wait.
But she was just typing out her if you say so response when the screen changed to show an incoming call from a number she didn't recognize. Her finger slid across to the answer button before she could think of anything else.
Rachel was out of breath by the time she reached the hospital. Her chest heaved and her lungs burned as she tried to catch herself. She had bolted from the cab the moment it had stopped outside the doors of the hospital and she hadn't stopped since.
Her heart was beating a million miles an hour as she approached the information desk, and she tried her best to get herself under control.
"Hi," she squeaked as she approached the desk. "I...I...I need some help. I need to find where...I need to find my boyfriend..." she stammered through her words as the older woman in front of her continued to tap something out on her keyboard. "Will you stop?!" she shrieked. She immediately clasped her hands around her mouth as the woman in front of her finally stopped what she was doing. "I'm sorry," she blew out a breath as tears welled in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I just...I need to find my boyfriend. I got a call," she stammered through and tried to dig into her large bag for her cell phone in much the same fashion as before. "I got a call and...and he's hurt and he's probably scared and I'm his...I'm his only person," her voice cracked in that moment as she stared at the woman with pleading eyes. "Please," she whimpered. "He's my person."
"What is his name?" the receptionist stated plainly, clearly unaffected by what Rachel had just muddled through.
"Finn. Finn Hudson is his name," she whimpered. Her eyes flitted around the small cubicle she stood in front of her as the woman typed out his name. She hoped she was spelling it right.
"Floor three. Room 7A," the woman provided. She may have said more but Rachel took off as soon as the room number left her lips.
The elevator took so long so she ran for the stairs. She thanked her lucky stars that she had had the forethought to chuck the heels off before she bolted from the dressing room, leaving them behind for her publicist to pick up when she left. She didn't care if they were left behind. All she cared about was up three floors and down some hallway. Her hands started to sweat as she made her way through the door that led to the floor and she only stopped to scan around , looking for directions to the room she was searching for. She used the split second, because that's all she wanted to allow, to take a calming breath. But that didn't help the sweat on her palms of the sound of her heart in her ears. Her eyes burned and she almost jumped when she felt a hand on her arm.
"Do you need help, miss?" a kind older nurse had laid her hand on her elbow and Rachel felt her eyes well all over again.
"I need room 7. I need to find my boyfriend..." she stumbled. "He's...he's..."
The nurse, who must have been used to the outpouring of emotions simply nodded. "Right this way sweetheart..."
Rachel tried to pace herself as she walked behind the nurse. She clasped her hands at her waist, running the thumb of her left hand over the thumb of her right. She chewed her lip and tried to stay calm. The nurse stopped short in front of the hospital room before turning to Rachel.
"Let me just see if there's anyone in here, they may have taken him for testing or... " her voice trailed off and Rachel tried to pretend that the thought of Finn being anywhere but behind that door didn't scare her.
She could feel her phone vibrating from the depths of her bag, but she didn't want to answer it. Only her publicist and the cab driver who had dropped her off knew where she was. It felt like her interview was already a life time ago, even though it was just under an hour ago.
The nurse poked her head in the door, before closing it behind her.
"He's alone. You can go in. I'll find out more, find the nurse who is on his case or his Doctor and I'll tell them you're here."
Rachel nodded quickly, almost biting her lip from the force of her nods.
But what she wasn't expecting, was how Finn would look.
She expected him to be up, awake, a bandage here, a bandage there. After all his message had said he was going to the station. He had been hurt before on the job, smoke inhalation and a fractured wrist. But what she saw in front of her almost brought her to her knees.
He was broken. She winced empathetically as she crossed the room quickly, trying to hold back a large sob that was starting to rise. She gently tried to weave her fingers through his, the arm that wasn't covered in bandages. The tears piqued in her eyes when he didn't wrap his fingers around her by reflux, before she allowed herself to take him all in.
He had a tube in his nose, no doubt forcing oxygen into his lungs. His chest rose and fell rhythmically, like it was supported by the machines that lined the opposite side of his bed. His opposite arm, his right arm was wrapped in a cast and she wanted to cry as her imagination ran wild. What had happened to him? His leg was raised and casted, and she only wondered what was underneath the blanket that had been tucked around his middle.
"What happened to you baby?" she whispered, leaning her head down to press a kiss to his knuckles.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the door to the room open, her breath catching in her throat when a large man in a lab coat entered. She used her freehand to clasp her heart as she tried to catch her breath.
"I hope you are Miss Berry, or else I'm going to have to ask you to leave Mr. Hudson alone," the older man announced gruffly.
Rachel froze. "I...I...I am..." she stumbled. "I'm Rachel Berry...I'm his...I'm his person..." she blushed fiercely for a moment. "I'm sorry, I mean...I'm his girlfriend...I live with him...he's my boyfriend, " she rambled. "I'm sorry," she huffed. She placed her free hand onto Finn's hand that she was clasping already. "What happened to him?"she whispered. "What happened to my Finn?"
She watched the doctor cross and uncross his arms across his chest before letting his long arms hang down his sides. He took a step forward and pulled the chair that was against the wall over and gestured for her to sit. Rachel shook her head, and continued to hold Finn's hand in her two. She didn't want to let go. She was too afraid.
"Mr. Hudson was involved in a car accident this afternoon," the older man started. He pulled a notebook out of his pocket and quickly drew a crude photo of an intersection. "Eyewitnesses reported that Mr. Hudson was turning left here," he pointed. "But another vehicle traveling this way," he stopped to point. "Did not heed the advance that Mr. Hudson had. Thus t-boning him and causing his truck to collide with another direction of traffic ."
She couldn't help the gasp that escaped her mouth just then, as she listened to what had happened, obviously heard from the EMTs or whoever on the scene.
"...Mr. Hudson sustained injuries to his left arm, fracturing the bone here, and here," the Doctor started. "His leg was also broken here, and here..."
"Will he...will he wake up soon?" she asked quietly as she listened to the Doctor list off the injuries Finn had sustained. She blinked back tears as he talked, trying to absorb everything because she would surely have to repeat it over and over before the day is over.
"We're hopeful that Mr. Hudson will come to, but when he arrived by ambulance he was unresponsive and due to the surgery we performed to put the pins in his leg, we also administered an anesthetic. We're hopeful that when it wears off we'll be able to see a bigger picture in terms of any trauma he may have sustained to his head..."
Her head started to swim. She turned her attention away from the doctor who seemed to endlessly be droning on about one thing or another, to look at Finn. She chewed her lip as she watched his chest rise and fall; she counted the breaths as they happened, watching as his lips refused to twitch as it happened.
She was nervous. She was waiting for the call back and she couldn't sit still. They had promised to call today, by the end of the day but that time was quickly coming as far as she was concerned. She paced the small living room dozens of times over, rotating between crossing her arms over her stomach and lifting her hands to chew her already short nails. She tried to stop, her mind reeling when she thought about how she would lose the part if she had shitty nails. But it didn't calm her frayed nerves.
"Ray?" his voice broke her thoughts. He had been sitting patiently on the couch, watching her pace back and forth. "You going to sit down anytime soon? You're going to wear a hole in the carpet and then we for sure won't get our deposit back when we move out..."
"If we move out," she murmured. "We can't move if I don't get the part. And I can't get the part if I didn't remember my lines or sing properly or act..." she rambled.
"Rach?" she could hear him move off the couch, but didn't try to shrug him off when she felt his hands on her waist. She stopped what she was doing; stopped her movements and allowed him to pull her against him. His fingers wrapped around her hips as he pulled her into him, his hands leaving her hips to wrap around her waist when she was flush against him. She leaned her body into his as his embrace wrapped around her, his head dipping down to rest on her shoulder. She raised her hand to touch the side of his face, her fingers dancing over the stubble that had formed on his cheek. She closed her eyes as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck. She squirmed when he pressed a soft, wet kiss into the space where her neck met her shoulder. "You need to relax."
"I can't relax," she shivered as he pulled her against him tighter. Her breath came out slowly as his thumbs started to trace circles on the skin he had exposed with his fingers as she talked. She shuddered as she breathed, allowing herself to just be overcome by the calming sensations he was invoking in her. She felt him trace her neck with a few more kisses, each more wet and longer than the last. She sighed before turned her face to meet his, puckering her lips in a hint to him that she wanted a kiss. When their lips met, she almost cried. She whimpered when he teased her mouth open with his tongue. He turned her in his arms so they were flush, front to front. His hands encircled her waist, the palms of her hands coming to rest on her bottom as he pulled her closer.
She pulled away breathless as he started to glide his lips down her neck, stopping to suck at the junction between her neck and shoulder. Her head lulled to the side and she was just letting out a slow groan when her cell phone buzzed from the coffee table a few steps behind them.
She pulled her body away from his and lunged for the phone without a second thought. Her lips burned and she felt the flush in her cheeks as she dove for the ringing phone, squealing when she recognized the number and quickly answered. She turned back to look at Finn, who had stayed in place, moving his hands to his hips as he watched her with rapt attention. His hair was mused, his lips swollen and she made eye contact with him as she answered the call.
"Yes this is she," she replied to the speaker on the other end of the phone. "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much! Absolutely! Thank you! Thank you!" she squealed. She thanked the person on the other end of the phone. She clicked end and clutched the small object in her hand as she stared at Finn. Her chest heaved as stared at him, her lungs exerting with the effort as she tried to control her emotions. The grin on her face did nothing to hide her excitement.
"Well?" Finn asked impatiently after a couple moments of silence passed between them. "Ray?"
"I got it!" she squealed as she bent at the waist. She held out the phone to him as an exuberant smile covered her face. "I got Fanny Finn!"
She laughed loudly as a whoop left his lips. She shrieked as he took the two steps it took to meet up with her, before sweeping her into his arms. She laughed madly as he attacked her face with his lips, trailing all over, the kisses playful and loving - the opposite of what they were just moments ago.
"I got Fanny," she repeated as he placed her down on her feet. Tears burned in her eyes. "I got Fanny..." her voice got quieter.
"I'm so proud of you sweetheart," Finn whispered as their excitement died down and the reality of the situation hit them. "So proud of you. I knew you could do it. I knew you had it in the bag. Its your part Ray, this is your dream..."
She gave him a watery smile before launching herself at him and letting him carry her to the bedroom.
She should call someone. She sat in the chair beside the bed, her hands clasped in her lap. She couldn't stop staring at him. She didn't even want to blink. She felt cold, numb as she just watched him. The sound of the monitor beside his bed beeping kept her anchored in the present if even just for a moment. She counted the beeps, getting up to 30 before losing track and starting again. She waited with baited breath as her phone vibrated in her bag at her feet. She was too tired, too scared, too worried to even move to get the object out of her bag. She didn't care who it was, didn't care who was trying to reach her - who probably wanted to congratulate her on her first television interview. None of it mattered to her right now. None of it meant anything, nothing had meaning when he wasn't there to share it with. Tears rose in her eyes as she bit her lip, as the phone buzzed again. She wanted to stomp on the bag, get it to stop. She dropped her head into her hands after a few minutes, finally giving into the tears that she had been trying so desperately to keep at bay.
She dragged her chair closer to him, her breath hitching in much the same fashion it had when she first arrived. She repeated the action from then as well, using her hand that was now damp with her tears to take hold of his. She clasped one of his large hands in both of her own as she moved to lean her head down on the mattress beside him as close as she could get. She hiccupped as she moved her lips to place a kiss on his shoulder, the rough material of the hospital gown feeling weird against her lips.
"I'm here Finn," she whispered as she rose up slightly to push her lips against his stubble lined cheek. "I got here as fast I could baby - but I'm here now. I've got you. Just come back to me baby..."
She didn't know what to wear. She threw open her closet and eyed her wardrobe with a critical eye. He had finally asked her out. She chewed her lip to rein in her excitement, but she still couldn't believe it. Finn Hudson, male lead of the glee club, hot shot quarterback of the McKinley Titans - had asked her, Rachel Berry out on a date. A real date. Not like the disastrous first meeting in the auditorium. She had been so afraid that she had scared him away - he had run away from the picnic on the stage, she had been terrified she had done something wrong. But then he had asked her. He didn't tell her what they were doing, just said he would pick her up at 6.
She fretted for what felt like ages, flipping through dress after dress in her closet as the clock ran down. Both of her Dads stepped into her room to try and help, her Papa running from the room in tears at the realization that she was trying to get dressed for her real date. Her Daddy was a bit of help, helping her to narrow her choices down to a selection of three sundresses she really loved.
With fifteen minutes to spare, she chose a navy blue sundress pattered with tiny little white flowers, a sweetheart neckline that complimented her simple heart necklace that had been a gift from her father's for her sweet sixteen. She curled her hair with a practiced flair, before she applied minimal makeup that was just enough to highlight the brown in her irises. She stood in the mirror when she felt like she was finished, and all at once her nerves started to get the best of her. She felt her palms sweat and her blood pressure start to rise. Finn Hudson would be there any minute and he had chosen her. He could have had anyone at school, chosen any other girl - even a Cheerio or an athlete but instead he chose her. She tried not to let the thought bother her too much, and she didn't have much longer to ponder because the doorbell rang downstairs.
He was standing in the foyer of her house when she got down the stairs. Her heart started to beat wildly in her chest as she stepped off the stairs, adding a little flounce to her step as she came to the bottom.
"Rachel," his voice came out with a hitched breath and she suddenly felt really self conscious. She ducked her head a little bit and clasped her hands in front of her. She heard her Dads walk away, and she felt even smaller. She pulled her head up and looked across the few steps at him, and suddenly she felt like this moment was something she wanted to remember for the rest of her life. She felt like this moment was important - that it was huge.
"Finn," she sighed.
"You look beautiful," as the words left his mouth she noticed that he had a bunch of carnations in his hand, pale pink in colour. "These are for you..."
He held them out to her while taking a step forward. She met him in the middle, and almost collided with the hand that was extended. She almost stumbled trying to avoid his arm and nearly fell, if it wasn't for the warm clasp of his large hand around her own arm. She shivered at the feel of his skin on hers, before turning her face to look up and find him smiling down at her. "Careful there..."
And with that the ice was broken. She smiled up at him, before taking the carnations that he still held out to her. She brought them to her nose and took a long smell before beaming up at him. "Thank you, they're gorgeous," she complimented. She saw him blush before he stuck his hands in the pockets of the khakis he was wearing with his green and blue striped polo.
Her Papa appeared and took the carnations from her, before he disappeared with the promise to put them in water. But not before ensuring both Finn and Rachel knew of her 11pm curfew. She wanted badly to roll her eyes, but her father's were doing so well not being overbearing and emotional in front of Finn.
"I'll have her back sir," he stumbled. "I promise," his words came out in a hurry, as if he was nervous and she found that quite endearing. "Wanna go?"
She nodded her head and took another step forward. Finn opened the front door of her house and followed her out.
She tried not to be in awe of everything he did. But at 16, almost 17 years old she found it hard to believe that she had found someone so chivalrous. He skipped down the front steps of her house to his beat up pickup truck, getting to it first to open the passenger side door. She blushed as he took her hand and helped her in, giving her a small smile before closing the door and running to the driver's and sliding in beside her.
The nerves came back when he started up the truck, and while it rumbled to life she clasped her hands in her lap, over the strap of the small clutch she had brought with her. She didn't know what to say, didn't want to embarrass herself in front of Finn. But she didn't have to wait for long, Finn cleared his throat and looked over at her as he came to a stop light.
"So I was thinking we could...uh...I was thinking we could actually go bowling, is that alright?" he stumbled over his words and she furrowed her brow a little as she watched him curl his fingers tightly over the steering wheel.
She smiled brightly as her eyes caught his. "Sure! That sounds great...but you're going to have to teach me, I've never been..."
The light turned green before he could say anything, and it was only a small drive from her house to the bowling alley.
"You mean it? You have never been bowling?" he gave her the dashing half smile that was one of the first things she noticed about him.
She shook her head. "Nope. I spent my formative years in dance and singing classes, you know - perfecting my craft..." She smiled when he chuckled and watched as he jumped out of the truck after he had parked. She was just reaching for the handle of the door when he had it open, reaching his hand out to help her out of the truck. She tried not to blush.
She smiled when he chuckled, but felt nervous as he walked a few steps in front of her. She chewed her lip as she got closer, as he opened the door for her before ushering her inside.
She was telling the truth when she said she hadn't ever been bowling. After they got their shoes, and after she got over the initial shock that other people had used these shoes, she allowed herself to follow him to their lane - number 5. She followed his lead, sitting down beside him and stuffing her feet in the small shoes.
"Now we have to pick a ball," he gave her a small smile before standing up and ambling over to a rack where several balls of different colours were stored.
"Pick a...ball?" she squeaked. She didn't know bowling was so involved. Everything she had seen in movies involved just picking up a ball and throwing it down the aisle...or lane...whatever it was called. But picking out a ball? She knew nothing about that. She chewed her lip as she observed the shelf in front of her.
"Yeah. You have to pick one, so it isn't too heavy, you know?" He tried to offer as an explanation. "They're all different weights. So you have to pick one that's easy to throw. Like I know I can pick up ten pounds and throw it nicely...so I just look for the ones that have a ten on them...see?" he picked up a dark blue ball with a silver ten engraved in it.
She chewed her lip in confusion as she stared at the shelves one more time, and he must have noticed because suddenly he strode over to the other end of the shelf and picked up a bright pink ball. He walked back to her and held it up in one hand.
"Here, this one is only 6 pounds," he started.
"It's pink," she blurted.
He chuckled as she blushed.
"Yeah, I noticed in glee that you write all your notes on the lyric sheets in pink gel pen so I figured..." he shrugged.
"Thank you," she whispered. He went back to pick up his ball before leading her back to the lane.
"Here, you can go first..." he charmed.
"Can you show me what to do?" she asked quietly.
He smiled before nodding. "Of course."
She decided to call someone when her bottom had numbed from sitting in the chair and her fingers went cold from clasping his hand as long as she had been. It had been two hours, and nothing had changed. Her worry increased by the second, but the nurses that traipsed in and out didn't seem to mind her presence or how long he had been asleep.
She had to let go of his hand though, to dig through her purse and find the phone that had only stopped vibrating moments before. She kept her eyes trained on Finn though, still focused on the rise and fall of his chest. She sighed when her hand landed on the phone and she inwardly groaned when her screen lit up with messages. She chewed her lip as she bypassed the screen , missing the highlights of the messages.
The problem was - she didn't know who to call. Her and Finn were in their own bubble in their corner of New York. Blaine and Kurt had ventured off to California a year ago, and Santana and Brittany were back in Ohio. Puck was in the Air Force and Quinn was in Conneticut. Even their parents had spread out, Burt and Carole were spending more and more tine in Washington instead of Ohio, and her Dads had not only divorced but moved states - her Dad to North Carolina for some odd reason, and her Papa to Kentucky. She had never felt so alone in that moment.
Ultimately she chose Carole, first. She chewed her lip as she selected the contact she had labelled as Mom, a title that often gave her comfort but in this moment it caused a wave of cold and fear to roll through her.
Back in the beginning of their relationship, Carole Hudson had scared Rachel to death. She had never had a Mom, had limited experience with female role models, but she knew just how important she was to Finn. She had met Finn's mother before she married Burt Hummel and upon the first meeting she was in love. In fact she was pretty sure she fell in love with Finn, even faster, because of his mother.
Carole was the mother Rachel had always wanted. It made her cry the first time she gave her a hug, the first time she sent her home with a care package because she knew her father's were out of town, or bought her a box of Tampons to keep at the house when their relationship grew more serious. She had even cried when they had announced they were moving to New York. Rachel had feared in the first few moments that she had cried because she didn't want Finn to go, didn't want to lose him. But a quick conversation at a fourth of July BBQ just after graduation told her that no, she wasn't said she was losing Finn. She was said she was seeing both of them go, off to start their lives.
The phone rang what seemed like endlessly on the other end of the phone, and the longer it went the quicker the tears pooled in her eyes and her heart pounded. She was breaking down, losing her facade and part of her prayed she would get her voicemail.
But the moment the call connected and Carole's voice filtered through the phone, her soothing tone and excited expression both soothing and hurting her even more.
"Carole," she whispered. The woman had gone off running with her congratulations and words from the moment the call connected. "Carole, I...Carole, I need to...I called because..." her voice tripped as her throat swelled and the tears started.
"Rachel? Honey, is everything okay?"
She took a shuddering breath, to try and calm herself but it only made things worse. "Carole, Finn's been...Finn's in the...he's in the hospital and there was an accident..." she couldn't talk once the word accident slipped out, and the silence on the other end of the line did nothing for how she was feeling. She swallowed hard as she listened to Carole breathe hard into the other end of phone. She knew the older woman was trying to keep it together, but the thought that she had to be the one to tell her this...that her son was in a hospital bed and...
"Honey, are you okay?"
She had just told her that her only biological son had been in an accident, and Carole was asking if she was okay. She choked on her breath as she tried to suppress a sob.
"I'm scared Carole," she whimpered. It was all she could say. She turned her eyes back to Finn and the tremble in her lip returned and her eyes welled and despite her best efforts she couldn't hold back anymore.
"Burt and I are on our way. We're...we're coming...sit tight honey, we'll be there soon..."
The conversation ended there. She couldn't bring herself to make another call, talk to someone else about what happened...get asked questions she doesn't have the answer to. She had been here two hours, and there was nothing new. He wasn't awake. He was just...there. Rachel dropped the phone back into her bag and leaned back in her chair, running her hands over her face and rubbing hard.
The Doctor returned sometime after the sun set. She waited in silence as he checked Finn out, opening his eyes to check his pupils and feeling for a pulse. He was quiet as he looked over the monitors, and she waited with baited breath for him to tell her something...anything.
"All in good time, Miss Berry," he said at first. "We'll test in the morning, but he is showing no signs of brain injury."
"Then..."
"All in good time Miss Berry. He'll come to when he's ready. We just need to be patient."
She didn't know how to be patient.
Rachel had asked him to meet her in the auditorium, ASAP. Her palms were sweating under the bright lights, and she tried not to cry from the feeling of sweat on her forehead. Her hands were shaking, and her stomach rolled as she paced the floor in a small pattern. She tried to take deep, calming breaths but it did nothing to settle her nerves and her fingers twitched as she played with the bracelet around her wrist - a gift from Finn for Valentine's Day the February before. She clutched her arms around her waist when she heard his heavy footsteps coming from backstage, and then the movements of the curtains as he found his way towards her.
"I got your text," his voice was hurried but calm at the same time. Hearing his soothing voice immediately acted like a balm to her overworked nerves, but didn't do much for the rolling in her stomach. He crossed the stage in few strides and immediately extended his arms to her. She stepped into them in seconds, taking in the comfort just being in his arms provided. "What's wrong?"
She sniffled slightly as she brushed her nose along the soft material of the t-shirt he was wearing. The smell of his cologne, a light fragrance that was so distinctly Finn usually gave her instant comfort. But today it caused her to whimper and cry.
"Ray?" he questioned as he brushed his lips against her hair.
"I just need you to hold me right now," she whispered, her voice muffled by the material of his shirt.
"I got you sweetheart," he sighed.
She felt him tighten his hold on her, and she shuddered at the thought that, if she was right, in a few months he wouldn't be able to hold her like this. A fresh wave of tears rose in her eyes at the thought that had been bothering her for the better part of the last two days.
"Rachel?" he asked again. He used his forefinger to lift her chin to look at him. She hoped he couldn't feel how much it was trembling "Baby, what is..."
"I think I'm pregnant," she wanted to vomit the moment the words were out of her mouth. She watched as his skin paled, but he didn't let her go. His arm that was still wrapped around her stayed and he pulled her closer, even tighter.
When he didn't say anything to her she dropped her head, and attempted to move away from him. Instead of allowing her to go, he pulled her in tighter and didn't move when she laid her head on his chest, over his heart.
"You think you're pregnant." It came out more as a statement rather than a question. "How long have you thought...?"
"Last night. My...you know..." she mumbled. "is late and I threw up before I went to bed and I just..." she burst into tears again. "Finn..." she whimpered.
"Ray, Rach..." he brought his hand up to cup the back of her head before running his long fingers through her hair.
"What are we going to do Finn? We're supposed to go to New York and NYADA and..." the words came tumbling out like a broken dam, and once they started they couldn't stop. "We can't have a baby! We haven't finished high school and I need to be able to...you'll have to work extra hard and what about school for you and...I can't give her up!" she rushed. "I haven't even known that long and I already..."
"Whoa. Ray, stop..." the palms of his hands squeezed her hips to reinforce his words. He brushed his lips against her forehead and he tried to soothe her. "Have you taken a test?"
She rubbed her head in a no direction against his shirt and he sighed. "Let's go get one. Before we start...before we start freaking out..." she huffed amidst her tears. "Before we start planning let's make sure we're actually having a baby, alright?"
She took a minute to ponder his thought. She looked up at him with glassy eyes and he tried to offer her a small smile. "It's going to be okay Rach. Whichever way it goes..."
He was still pale. As she stared at him she watched as he swallowed hard, probably trying to take in his own advice. She raised her hand to his cheek and gently brushed her fingers along his smooth jaw. "I love you," was all she could breathe.
"I love you too," his voice hid a hint of a wobble before his head dipped and pressed a kiss to her head again. "It's going to be okay."
Rachel twisted her hands in her lap as she sat on his bed. They'd chosen his house because it was empty. Her fathers were home and since she had thrown up this morning, had been on her case. She had gone to school despite their protests, because she needed to be near Finn, needed to be with him. She looked up when she heard him come into the room, a glass of water and plate of crackers in his hand. Her stomach was still rolling, and her mind nagged at her, taunted her, with what it could be.
"Did you take it?" he asked as he set the items down on his desk. He picked up the glass of water again and handed it to her.
When she shook her head no, his mouth downturned only a little. "Baby..."
"I'm scared Finn," she whispered after she took a tentative sip.
He didn't say anything , just sat down beside her and pulled her into him - careful of the cup she was holding.
"I'm scared too," he admitted. "But it's going to be fine."
She gave him a questioning look.
"I'm scared but I know it'll work out. We're in this together, whatever the answer is..." Finn answered. "We just need to take the test. My Mom will be home soon and we can..."
She bit her lip. "Your Mom is going to hate me..."
"She won't hate you. She'll hate me for letting this happen," he sighed. That didn't make her feel any better.
He shifted on the bed and offered her his hand. "Come on, the sooner we know for sure, the sooner we can think things through..."
She nodded her agreement, but still took a second before she reached for his hand. When she did, he squeezed her fingers in reassurance as they walked across the hallway to the bathroom.
She made him stay with her while she peed on the stick, although she forced him to turn around to face the wall while she did it. She concentrated on his strong back for a minute as she completed her task before placing the stick beside her and flushing the toilet. She stood up to wash her hands as he turned around with his phone in his hand.
"Five minutes," he reminded her as he took a step before he sat down on the edge of the bathtub. She slowly walked over and sat down beside him, keeping her hands in her lap. "it's going to be fine," he mumbled as he leaned his elbows on his knees. "It's going to be fine."
She wondered for a minute if he was saying it more for his own benefit then her own.
When his phone beeped in five minutes time, she felt herself freeze. She reached for his hand then, and squeezed it tightly before she looked at him with wide eyes.
She watched his Adam's apple bob as he took a hard swallow, his breath came out afterwards in a hurried puff. "I'll...I'll check it..." he squeezed her hand tightly as he looked into her eyes. He let go of her hand before standing up and taking the few steps to the counter where she had left the stick.
Her breathing started to escalate as she watched him. She couldn't see his face as he had turned his back to her, but when she saw his shoulders' droop she immediately started to cry. Heavy, heaving sobs wracked her body as she leaned forward, cradling her head in her hands as she started the process of mourning what should have been her future. She almost didn't feel it when Finn tugged her to her feet, she stumbled but didn't fear that she would fall because she knew he had her. He always did.
"Ray, Ray you need to take a deep breath," he whispered into her hair. "Ray, you're going to make yourself sick..."
"I don't care," she mumbled. "Finn I'm so sorry!" she cried.
"Sorry for what?" he chuckled.
"Because I've ruined everything! It's positive and..." she couldn't complete her thought as another sob came to her lips.
Finn chuckled a little before pressing a kiss to her wet cheek. "It's negative, silly girl..."
"Negative?" she whispered. She pulled away from him slightly to study his face."It's negative. I'm...I'm not?"
"You're not pregnant. We're not having a baby. Everything is going to be fine."
"Everything is going to be fine," she repeated.
And everything was fine. Two days later she got her period. And Finn inherited the flu she must have been working through.
Word spread quickly, it seemed. Rachel woke up the next morning at Finn's bedside, curled in the uncomfortable chair that had made her lose feeling in her toes for a bit, along with her thighs and butt. She was awoken by the sound of the door creaking open, followed by what sounded like a herd of feet. The touch to her shoulder is what caused her to jolt the fastest, and her eyes widened when she came face to face with her Papa.
"Papa," she whispered. Her voice was thick, and hoarse. Her ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton. She didn't register Carole's voice either, until she sat up and came to see that she was flittering over Finn's still form on the bed.
"I'm here Songbird, I'm here," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her.
"How did you..." she whimpered against his chest.
"Carole called, said you two needed us..." he answered simply. He pressed a kiss to her head. Carole hadn't said a word to her yet, and Rachel tried not to take that personally. She cuddled into her Papa's embrace and tried to calm herself. But they weren't the arms she wanted around her right now. Her focus fell onto Finn once more, and her eyes watered when she saw that nothing had changed. Her lip trembled when Carole finally turned to look at her.
"Rachel," she breathed. The older woman was at her side in minutes, and her Papa let her go enough so that she could fall into her embrace.
"They said it's all up to him now," she whispered into Carole's ear. "Why won't he wake up?" Carole clutched her tighter, to the point where Rachel felt like she was going to lose all her breath.
"He'll come back, he loves you too much not to come back," Carole tried to sooth. But the words and actions just made her cry harder.
It was a few minutes later, when her sobs died to dull hiccups that she noticed Burt and Kurt standing in the doorway. She swallowed hard when she noticed them, both of them looking uncomfortable with the crying - Kurt in tears himself. She couldn't bring herself to say anything to them, instead she collapsed back into her chair with her Papa behind her, his hands on her shoulders. She didn't say a word.
Her Papa though, had other ideas. He tried to get her out of the room, tried to get her to go down to the cafeteria for coffee or lunch.
"No Papa," she stammered. She clutched the arms of her chair as she looked up at him. He was staring down at her, his glasses sliding down his face as he did so. She swallowed thickly as she looked back at him. "I don't want to leave him..."
"Songbird," Leroy tried. He reached for her hand and tried to pick it up off the arm of the chair.
"Papa, I'm not leaving," she tried to sound authoritative, but her voice came out wobbly and cracked. She looked to Carole, who had busied herself with fixing Finn's blanket, and brushing her fingers across his forehead.
"Rachel, don't you think you should..."
"I'm not leaving," her teeth gritted together as she looked at him. "Not until I see he's okay," the crack came afterwards. "I'm not leaving him." Her words had an air of finality to them that would be more effective if it wasn't for the bags under her eyes and the tears rolling down her cheeks. She tugged her chair as close as it would go to Finn's bed and took his hand. She turned to face her Papa with a tremble in her lip.
"Can I get you something then? A coffee? A sandwich?" Leroy ran his fingers over his hair.
"Just a coffee. I'm not hungry."
"Rachel."
"I'll eat when he wakes up."
When she pulled up to the house, Rachel felt every nerve in her body ignite. She took a deep breath as she cut the ignition and tried to calm her nerves. But they were out of control.
Finn had called her this morning, with a simple request, really. He was going to be out all day at basketball camp, and his Mother was wondering if she wanted to come over and help her with something. She didn't know what Carole Hudson could possibly want her help with, the ideas that were running in her head were enough to make her nervous. She had only met the woman enough times that she could count on one hand and never had any of those times been one on one. Her and Finn had been dating for just under three months, and the idea of being alone with his mother scared her. She wanted her to love her, wanted her to accept her. She had never had a mother, so she didn't know how to act.
She wasted another minute fretting about how Carole would like her, what she would say to her, how long she would stay before finally getting out of the car, plate of banana bread in tow and headed up the driveway - suddenly self-conscious about the outfit she had chosen to wear. She had agonized over it for a good half an hour, trying to pick something that was appropriate for spending any amount of time with your boyfriends mother. She had landed on a pair of jeans that she never really wore, and a pale pink long sleeved shirt that's neck was just high enough not to be too revealing. She had covered up with her favourite pea coat and tried not to act like she was going to throw up any second.
She paced herself as she walked up the freshly salted walk way, and tried to take a deep breath before she rang the doorbell.
The door swung open to reveal Finn's mother, a bright smile on her face. "Rachel! Come on in sweetheart, you must be cold!"
Rachel stepped timidly after the older woman, and came to a stop in the foyer of the small house. She had been here quite a few times but always with Finn. She felt strange and out of place without him there. She knew he wasn't even in the house, she had known that going in but she still wished for him to come bumbling down the stairs in a hurry like he had before.
"Is that the famous banana bread I keep hearing about?" Rachel was broken from her thoughts in that moment, and turned to the woman in front of her. She noticed in that moment that Finn and his mother shared the same eyes, even the same nose. She wondered if the dimples she loved so much were from the father he had lost when he was younger.
"Um, yes...I made it fresh this morning, so it's...it's good..." she mumbled as she tripped over her words.
"I'm sure it's wonderful! Finn just goes on and on about it...though there's usually none left by the time I figure out you were here..."
"Yeah, he really likes the banana bread...especially after..." she stopped herself short and gasped, using her freehand to cover her gaping mouth. "After studying...I mean...we..." her cheeks blushed a crimson red as Carole Hudson chuckled slowly. She reached for the plate Rachel was holding before gently patting her arm.
"Yes, I guess I have you to thank for Finn's recent grades spike in Spanish, hmm?" she laughed heartily. "Come on, take your coat off and meet me in the kitchen...you know the way, yes?"
She nodded quickly and stripped off her pea coat, hanging it on the hook by the door much like she always did. She made her way into the kitchen to find Carole bustling about, putting away the dishes from the night before. She stood quietly in the doorway, watching her for a moment.
"Would you like something to drink, sweetie?" Carole turned around and placed the checkered dish cloth on the counter.
"No...um...I'm okay..." she answered nervously. Carole nodded and waved her over, motioning to the bar with stools in the middle of the room. "Mrs. Hudson? Finn said..."
"Yes, Finn doesn't know what we're going to do today!" Carole seemed to clap her hands together. "What did he tell you?"
"Just that you needed my help with something..."
"Oh that boy," Carole laughed. "I told him, I wanted to take you out for lunch for your birthday! It's next week, right? And then I was thinking we could go for a pedicure at the new nail place that opened on Forest Ave. How does that sound?"
Rachel felt her jaw drop just a little, but she wanted to keep her cool.
"I know Finn has a grand plan, he said you only turn 17 once," she winked. Carole shook her head with a laugh. "That boy is head over heels..."
Rachel blushed. "I...Mrs. Hudson..."
"Please call me Carole dear," she smiled. "Now, where would you like to go for lunch?"
Rachel stumbled over her words. "Um, where...wherever you would like to go is fine...I..."
"Finn says you like that place on Main Street, the vegetarian cafe? Does that sound good?" Carole offered.
Rachel tried not to let her face show how touched she really was. Finn had thought of everything. Finn knew how much his Mom meant to him, and how much she wanted his Mom to like her. He had thought of everything, more than any other 17 year old boy would think of.
"That...that sounds great Carole," she smiled as she tried to keep a few tears from rising in her eyes.
Carole smiled and nodded. "Shall we go then?"
"Yeah, I guess we could...I want to..."
"Be back for Finn...I know," Carole winked. When Rachel blushed again, she laughed. "I was 17 once, remember. And the way you two look at each other I'm surprised he didn't skip out on practice to be at home today to wait for us to come back. "
Rachel tried not to blush again.
Her Papa finally got the hint that she wasn't leaving. Her fingers relaxed on the arm rest of the chair when he finally left, taking Burt and Kurt with him. A silence of sorts enveloped the room, save for the beeping of Finn's monitors. She let the rise and fall of his chest soothe her, a balm to over shot nerves. But she didn't feel calm. She wanted him to wake up, wanted to see his gorgeous whisky eyes looking back at her. She wanted him to squeeze her hand and laugh, even wheeze just like he did the first time he winded up in here with smoke inhalation. She just wanted him to come back to her. She dipped her head when she felt like Carole was staring at her. Even though she was so comfortable with her, how she looked to her so much as a role model she couldn't help but feel the sense of disappointment in the air. The thickness that enveloped her as she felt Carole's eyes on her. She felt ashamed, for some reason, like this was her fault - that the love of her life laying in a stiff hospital bed unconscious was all her fault. That she should have done something. That she shouldn't have been so lost in her ambition and...
"I saw your interview this morning," Carole's voice interrupted her train of thought. It wasn't what she had thought Carole was going to say. "You were so good, Rachel."
Rachel's head shot up, and she looked over at the woman who meant so much to her. "I'm so proud of you. And I'm sure Finny was too..."
"I don't think he saw it," she whispered as her eyes darted to Finn's motionless form. "But that's okay. It was set to tape. He had said he got called to the firehouse before he..." her words stopped, a lump forming in her throat. She leaned onto the side of his mattress, placing her chin down where his forearm rested. She placed a soft kiss there, and waited.
Carole gave her a watery smile. "He loves you so much Rachel. "
"Not any more than I love him. I just need him to be okay," she whispered.
He had cooked a fantastic dinner. She picked up the cloth napkin he had carefully selected from his Mother's special drawer and daintily pressed it to her lips, wiping away the remainder of the dressing he had used on the salad. She licked her lips, the taste of the vinaigrette on her lips. She gave him a soft smile.
"This was delicious baby," she smiled, reaching for her glass that had some sparkling grape juice inside. She took a small swig before placing it back down on the table.
Finn smiled gently at her, mimicking her movements with his own glass before he pushed back his chair. He stood up and picked up his plate that he had finished before walking around to her side. He reached down to grab the plate, before Rachel halted his intention with a soft touch to his cheek.
"Happy anniversary," she whispered before she leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips.
Finn responded in kind, pushing his lips into her, using his free hand to brace on the side of his chair while his other hand dropped the plate to the table with a clatter, as his hand reached to cup her cheek. When they pulled away her cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen.
"I have dessert," he whispered as her hand reached up and tussled his hair.
"I don't want dessert," she shuddered as she tried her best to send him a sultry look.
It was their first anniversary. One full year of being together, beating the odds, surviving high school. One year of falling madly in love, one year of just each other. The glee club called them Finchel, and even the thought of the nickname made her feel proud and strong and so in love. She knew they were young, people (including her fathers) made the remark that it was impossible to feel like this. But she couldn't imagine anything else, feeling like this with anyone else.
She watched as he stood up to his full height, before bending at the waist once more. He wrapped his arms around her body then, placing a blistering kiss on her lips. As the kiss escalated she gasped as he pulled her out of her chair, the kiss coming to a natural end as he stumbled into the wall. He grazed his hands down her body, coming to rest on her hips.
They shared a look between them, their eyes fusing together as the clock ticked. The grip he had on her hips was intense, and as she continued to look at him she felt all the breath leave her body. As he gently slid his hands down, she felt her pulse race faster as his large hands came around and rested on her bottom. She chewed her lip as they held their gaze, and she watched as his eyes darkened and he pulled her impossibly closer. He groaned when she was flush against him, and the palms of his hands moved over the material of her dress. He bent once more to press a kiss to her lips, and she whimpered once they rolled so he could brace her between himself and the wall.
Things got heated as she hitched her legs around his waist, and she gasped when he pulled away to begin lacing her jaw and neck with wet kisses. She sighed when she felt him press into her, feeling the evidence their activities were enticing in him.
"Finn," she moaned as he pressed her harder, his hands grazing her sides once more until they came up to the top of her side, where his fingers found the zipper of her dress. "Finn," she whimpered. His fingers danced along the metal, almost in a fashion that he was trying to decide what to do. They had been here before, caught up in the feelings they were seeking in each other. It usually resulted in each of them shedding their clothes and rolling around on his bed. Rachel had been trying for weeks to build up the courage to tell Finn she was ready. Ready to be intimate, ready to share the most special part of her. And as things continued to escalate and he sucked intently on her neck and his hips began to thrust into her as she squeezed her feet into his ass she knew the moment was now. There was no better time.
Rachel moaned as he nipped at her jaw, and as he moved back towards her lips - she moved one of her hands and placed it over his. She dragged it up to her chest and placed his open palm over her racing heart. Finn looked up at her, his eyes dark and his breathing heavy as he did so.
"Take me to bed Finn," she whispered.
She didn't have time to think about what she had just said to him. Finn leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips that stole her breath and almost made her cry. When they broke for air, in some feat of strength Finn pushed them against the wall and attempted to go for the stairs. But he couldn't hold her steady as he tried to climb for the stairs, especially while she tried to lace kisses up his neck. So when he put her down to adjust his grip, she used the moment to unravel from his arms and head up the stairs. She heard him almost growl as he ascended the stairs behind her, and it made her warm to think that this was about to happen. She loved Finn, she wanted Finn, she needed Finn.
She got to his bedroom first. She had been in this room a million times over the past year, and as she looked around she tried to memorize every book, every area of wear in the cowboy wallpaper. The runs in the carpet. She wanted to memorize every bit of what was around her because this...this was a moment she never wanted to forget.
Rachel turned around when she heard him shuffle into the room, closing the door behind him. She wrapped her arms around her stomach as she looked at him, standing there with his hair mused, his well fit jeans that she knew his soon to be step-brother Kurt had forced him to buy and a light blue button down shirt. She stared at him, trying to memorize him as well. Because that boy, that almost man in front of her? He was her life. She sucked in a breath as he started to move closer to her, the air getting thick the closer he approached. When he was within a footstep of her, she shuddered when his hands wrapped around her much in the same fashion he had downstairs.
"I love you," he breathed. She looked up at him, her cheeks flushed and her own arms wrapping around his neck.
"I love you too," she sighed. But he still stared.
"Are you sure?"
She could only nod, bringing her hands down his chest and fingering the buttons of his shirt as she did so. "I've never been more sure in my entire life."
He slowly backed her towards the bed as he kissed her, long languid kisses that left her breathless. He placed her on the bed like she was made of glass, and she trembled as she laid back on his bed and watched as he hastily worked at the buttons to pull the shirt off. She lifted her arms when he was finished, desperate to feel his hands on her once more. And she didn't have to wait long at all.
His hands were all over her, all at once. She moaned as his hands slid through the opening that pulling down the zipper of her dress provided. She shivered as his hands traced her skin, and she arched her back when he came in contact with the underside of her bare breast.
"Finn," she whimpered when his hand trailed away, only briefly. She felt relieved, in a way, when he pulled the dress away from her. But she bowed her head with a blush to her cheeks when she caught him staring, embarrassment flooding her features. She moved to raise her hands to cover her chest, but instead he grabbed her wrists to pull them away once he had pulled her dress the rest of the way off.
"Stop," he whispered. 'You're so beautiful baby..."
She slowly moved her hands away from her chest and her breath hitched as she caught his gaze. She trembled as she read the look in his eyes. He looked at her with lust, want and need. She gingerly traced her hands down her abdomen as she grew stronger, bolder in his eyes. She bit her lip as she peeled the pale pink panties, biting harder when his hands met hers and he helped her to pull them all the way off.
"You're so beautiful," he repeated. He bent over and began to trace kisses all over her stomach, her muscles clenching with the sensations. His tongue followed after awhile, and her eyes widened when he led a trail up around her breast, circling around before taking a nipple into his mouth. She clenched her eyes shut as the sensations became too much.
He pulled away as she shivered, taking a moment to breathe deeply before leaning in and capturing her lips in a time stopping kiss. As the clock ticked, Finn moved his body to be more suspended over Rachel's. In response, she spread her legs and allowed him to drop further, moaning in response when his hips bucked against hers in response to the closeness.
Things got heated, as Finn pushed off his pants before joining Rachel back on the bed. She cradled him between her legs as he reached for a condom, quickly applying it to his rigid member before staring down at her one more time.
"Are you sure?" he asked quietly. His hands ran up and down her sides as she trembled. Rachel looked up at him, and brought her hands from his shoulders to the sides of his face.
"I've never been more sure," she whispered before placing a soft kiss on his lips. "Make love to me Finn."
He surged forward and pushed his lips to hers, placing a kiss to her lips that held promise, security and love. His hand ran between her legs to assure himself that she was ready.
Finn pulled his lips away from hers as he lined himself up, pressing his face to her ear as he pushed inside of her for the first time.
Rachel wanted to cry. The shock of pain she felt engulfed her, and she clenched her eyes shut as Finn began to press kisses all over her face. He didn't move, and for that Rachel was grateful. He stayed still, allowing both of them to get used to the feeling.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled as he pressed kisses all over her face. "I'm sorry, we can..."
She sucked in a breath when she felt him try to move away from her. She moved her legs slightly, and wrapped them around him to keep her in place. "Don't, don't go..." she breathed. "I'll...I think you can...I think you can move..."
He placed a soft kiss on her lips as he shifted his hips ever so slightly. She gasped as she felt it, a mix of pain and unusual fullness greeted her. Finn groaned as he gave another tentative thrust, dropping his head to the junction of her neck and shoulder.
"Ray..." he grunted. In minutes his movements became faster, and she gasped as she felt the friction within her. She gasped as he moved quicker, before a loud groan fell from his lips and he slumped onto him, trying to keep most of his weight off of her. Finn pulled out of her and quickly pulled off the condom before rolling over and taking her with him.
"That was...Ray..." he reached up and pushed her sweaty hair back from his face. "thank you," he added quietly. "I'm sorry you didn't..."
She shrugged quietly, snuggling into his chest and placing a kiss just above his heart. "Next time."
He grinned, pressing his lips to her hair. "Yeah, next time."
They had kicked her out, sometime after dinner. She didn't go easily, but it was Carole who finally got her to go. She had pleaded, prompting her that Finn wouldn't like if he knew she had been sitting his bedside the entire time. Her heart clenched as she left the room, slowly walking down the hallway. She didn't want to go far, but her stomach growled because she denied dinner. She didn't feel like eating, but she knew they wouldn't let her back into the room without a report of something passing her lips. She spotted a vending machine up ahead and though she normally hated anything they usually offered, she found herself drawn to the machine.
The pickings were slim, but after she fed the machine a few dollars that her Papa had slipped into her hand she found her fingers moving on their own accord - first choosing a package of sour patch kids, before also going for a chocolate chip cookie that she was sure was going to be dry. But they were Finn's favourites, what he would have chosen. She took the candy when it was delivered, before moving over to the drink machine and choosing a diet coke. She could already feel the film the foods and drink would leave on her teeth, but in the moment she couldn't bring herself to care.
She found a seat not too far from the machine, and close to Finn's room. She dropped into the chair and clenched the items she had bought in her hands tightly. She slumped against the seat, blowing out a breath as she looked towards the ceiling. She tried hard to focus on something else, tried to make her mind think of anything but the situation.
But it was impossible. She slumped her body forward as the weight of the situation over came her, the bottle of Diet Coke falling from her hands along with the candy. They fell with a clunk but she couldn't bring herself to care. She waited for the pop to explode as it hit the floor, and when it didn't she just watched it roll away. The act, and vision of the bottle rolling away from her was all she needed. Her shoulder slumped more than they already were, the sobs bursting forth as she allowed herself to shake. She couldn't keep it together anymore. As time went by, and it seemed to be flying, the more she grew concerned. Why wasn't he waking up? Why hadn't he come back to her? She missed him desperately, and she had only seen him yesterday. She ached to look into his whisky eyes, craved his hands on her body or through her hair. She needed him like she needed to breathe.
She heaved as she hid her face in her hands, rubbing her eyes roughly as the tears stung her eyes. They felt heavy and burned with lack of sleep and all of the tears. She grimaced as she pressed hard, the pain a welcome change from the ache in her heart.
"Rachel!" Her head snapped up when she heard her name. "Rachel! Come quick!" Kurt ran towards her, even though the distance between where she was sitting and the room where Finn lay wasn't far. She stumbled over herself as she tried to get to her feet, her body launching towards Kurt's as he came skidding to a stop in front of her.
"Is it..." her voice couldn't even complete the sentence, the thickness overcoming everything.
Kurt nodded emphatically. "It's Finn...come on!"
She didn't have to be told twice. Rachel took off running before Kurt could say another word, her lack of coordination that was much unlike her causing her to trip and almost fall into the door that led to Finn's room. She threw herself through the door and came to a skidding stop when she saw what was happening. Her heart started to beat wildly in her chest and the tears stung her eyes as she threw himself at Finn's bedside as his mother quietly cried on the other side.
"Oh my god," she breathed as he looked down at her, his whisky eyes tired and dull, but open, staring down at her as she clutched the sheet of his bed to stay upright. "Thank God, you're awake..." she rambled, tears clouding her eyes and filling her throat with thickness.
"Hey Ray," his voice was gravelly and deep, full of sleep and slightly drugged. He moved his good hand slowly and raised it enough to touch her hair.
"Hey yourself handsome," she chuckled as she moved closer to him, his hand slowly moving down to try and grasp hers. She took it immediately and wove her fingers through his. He instantly, albeit lightly squeezed back. "Welcome back..."
He offered her a dimpled smile before he coughed.
"I love you," she added quietly before she reached up and carefully nuzzled his cheek with her nose. "Don't ever leave me like that again."
Finn wheezed as he laughed, moving his head a little to catch her cheek with a kiss. "Didn't mean too babe. Love you more."
The room suddenly filled with the same Doctor she had met yesterday and a few nurses who immediately set to checking him over. Rachel sucked in a breath as she watched Finn's eyes droop as he talked to the doctor about what he felt, what had happened and what would happen now. But they brightened as he met hers from across the room, even just so slightly.
She wasn't going to let him go any time soon, she thought, as she smiled back at him from across the room.
The parents and Kurt left once the Doctor had checked Finn over. Rachel saw them to the door with a promise to update if anything changed. The Doctor had assured them that now that Finn was awake, things would only go up from there. Carole had fussed before she left, leaving Finn tucked in and sleepy on the bed before she left. Rachel turned around and slowly started to walk back to Finn's bed.
"Did she finally leave?" he questioned, his voice hoarse and laced with exhaustion - even though he had slept the better part of the last 24 hours consecutively.
Rachel nodded slowly. "She did. After I promised to call her if we needed her."
"She likes to be needed. I haven't needed her in awhile," he chuckled slowly. He held out his hand. "C'mere beautiful..."
Rachel took a few tentative steps towards him, and took his hand when she reached him. He tugged her weakly towards him, and she leaned her body uncomfortably into his embrace. But for as uncomfortable as the position was, it was all the more comfortable. She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes as she breathed in the scent of him, enjoyed the feeling of his arm around her even though it wasn't as tight as she would have liked. He was awake, and to her that's all that mattered. The rest would come back later.
"You scared me," she whispered after a long few minutes passed between them that were quiet. "You're not allowed to do that again..."
"Just a little car accident, no big deal..." he sighed.
"No big deal?" she leaned away offended. "Finn..."
He chuckled tiredly. "I know. I'm sorry. But I'm fine. Promise."
She chewed her lip. "Your leg is broken." she paused before adding. "And your arm..."
He smiled. "Lucky for me I have the best nurse."
"Don't scare me ever again," she repeated.
"Didn't do it on purpose," he yawned. She patted his chest before leaning up to kiss his cheek. "I'm so tired."
"Get some sleep. Just make sure you wake up for me later," she whispered.
"Sounds good. Go home and sleep baby..." he mumbled. "I'll be fine..."
She returned the next morning , her long brunette hair tied back in a bun as it was still damp from the shower she had this morning. After she had made sure Finn was safely asleep, and consulting with his doctor, she had heeded his advice and headed back to their apartment. After packing him a bag because she was sure they were going to keep him for a few days, she had sunk into their bed, allowing the comfort of being in a space they shared together wrap around her.
So now she carried the FDNY gym bag full of the essentials she was sure Finn would need and want into the room she had left her boyfriend not even a few hours ago. She smiled when she found him sitting up in bed, but kept quiet when she noticed he was on the phone. No one else was in the room with him. She set his bag down and waited for him to hang up the phone, and grinned when he did and turned her way.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" he smiled.
"I could say the same for you. I brought you some things..." she gestured to the bag she had put by the wall. "Magazines...your iPad..."
He nodded. "Come here first...the bag can wait..."
She gave him a weird look, but took the two steps to get to him. He gestured for her to come closer, and it was only then that she noticed he had something in his lap. She bit her lip as she looked at the little black box, and her heart hammered so hard it reverberated into her ears.
"Finn..."
He gave her a soft, dopey look - probably because of the pain meds. "I had this plan...to take you to bow bridge and get down on one knee...maybe even sing. I was actually supposed to do it tonight. But instead, I guess this will work," he paused. He looked up at her and gave her a soft smile. "My mom told me you barely left my side while I was out. I know how hard that must have been for you baby," he sighed. "I didn't mean to be gone so long - I promise. I just...I had to sleep, I guess..." he chuckled. He picked up the box. "I do have a confession though. When I sent you that message, I wasn't on my way to the firehouse. I was actually heading out to the jewelers to pick this up," he held it up before placing it back down in his lap. She chewed her lip as she watched him open it with one hand, and gasped when he turned the box to face her. Inside was a beautiful square cut diamond, surrounded by two smaller diamonds set on a silver band. "You're my favourite part of every day. Every day when I wake up, and I get to see you - it's like the best day of my life," he sighed. "You take care of me in ways that I never knew I needed, you didn't run when I decided I wanted to be a fireman - and I want more than anything to spend the rest of my life loving you, supporting you, holding you up and watching you succeed..." he took a long pause as he looked at her.
"So what do you say?" he grinned as he held up the box. "Marry me?"
Her eyes welled as she looked at him, and she bit her lip.
"I love you," she whimpered. She leaned forward and carefully wrapped her arms around his neck. She buried her face in his shoulder and pressed her mouth to his skin as the tears fell from her eyes. She heard him chuckle into her hair as he moved his face to meet her head. He placed a gentle kiss on her ear, as it was the closest body part he could reach in their position. "I don't ever want to be without you," she whispered as she curled her fingers around the small hairs at his hair line on the back of his neck. She pulled her face back so she was looking at him intently, her eyes softening at the glance she saw on his face.
"Yes, I will marry you," she whispered, before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his lips. She melted into him then as the kiss took over. When she drew back breathless she placed her hand on his cheek. She didn't say a word, choosing to just run her thumb along his stubbly cheek as he held her gaze.
She almost lost him. Her heart sped up at the thought of him not being here anymore. Her eyes watered at the idea that he might not have come out of the abyss that had held him. She meant it when she said she never wanted to be without him.
He seemed to sense her thoughts drifting, and raised his hand to cup her cheek in much the same fashion she was holding his.
"I'm never letting you go Rachel Berry," he whispered. She leaned forward and slowly pressed her head to his chest, over his heart.
"Please don't," she whispered. "I don't know what I would ever do without you."
Three Years, 2 months, 3 Weeks and 6 Days Later...
"Welcome back to Good Morning New York! We're here with Rachel Hudson, lead actress of the Tony Award winning revival Evita -who is also fresh off her win for best lead actress in a musical - welcome Rachel!" the journalist with too white teeth grinned at Rachel as she shuffled her cue cards.
"Thank you!" she smiled, her reserved for media only smile. "It's so good to be here!"
"And we are so happy to have you!" the woman responded. "Congratulations are in order - the Tony Awards were last night, and yourself and your company in Evita really brought home the gold! You yourself won the coveted best lead actress in a musical, how do you feel?"
"I feel...I feel amazing!" she laughed, a hearty laugh. "It was such a surprise, for me at least! I was up against some really talented and equally as deserving women and to win...it just blew me away!" she laughed again. "My husband says it was inevitable though...I should learn to trust his word..." she rolled her eyes teasingly.
"He sounds like a very smart man. Must know how talented his wife is," the journalist prodded.
"I'd like to think he knows a thing or two," Rachel joked. "He's standing backstage so I have to say good things about him..."
"I see that!" the journalist laughed. "He was chasing a little guy back there a few minutes ago..."
Rachel sat up a little straighter in her seat and crossed her legs at the ankles. "Yes, that's our little guy - Eli - he just learned to walk, so he's kind of taken to running..." Rachel crowed with a proud smile on her face. "Nothing is safe - even our cat hides whenever he hears Eli hit the floor running..." the skin around her eyes crinkled as she smiled wide, bursting with pride over her little guy.
Rachel looked around the camera crew to find Finn in the crowd, surrounded by her publicist and manager. Her Papa stood off to the side, an equally proud smile on his face. Everyone had followed her today as she made the rounds with the media to talk about her win. She had even been nominated to represent the entire company on behalf of their best revival win. Rachel Hudson was a hot commodity. But as she looked off at the crowd or her posse as Finn jokingly referred to them as this morning, her eyes were only for the tall 6'3 man currently holding their toddler in his arms. Her smile brightened as she noticed he was staring back at her, the proud look in his eyes evident even from where she was sitting. She could tell he was smiling, albeit tiredly, even if she could barely see it over the wildly curly hair of their 10 month old.
Her body warmed as they continued their gaze. It only broke when the show's producer cut to the clip of her speech from last night. She uncrossed and crossed her legs again as she turned to the screen.
"Oh my Gosh!" Rachel's hands were shaking as she held the trophy in her hands. "I...I don't know what to say! I wasn't expecting any of this! I have nothing prepared..." she took a deep breath as she looked down at the trophy before looking out into the audience. She caught Finn's eye, and she tried to smile with tears in her eyes as he blew her a kiss with his fingers. "I...I guess I should thank first and foremost, my parents - for all the endless dance and voice lessons. To Mr Schuster and the glee club, I owe everything to you. And lastly, but most importantly - to Finn - my Finn..." she paused to take a deep breath. "This is...this is for you, sweetheart. You are my rock, my backbone, my everything. You are the reason I'm standing here, on this stage, accepting this award. We have been through so much baby and at the end of every tunnel, every storm, every locked window - you are there. You are there and you hold me up and I would be NOTHING without you. I would be half the woman I am today, maybe even less. You taught me to be brave, to persevere, to be strong, to never ever take no for an answer, even if that no is from you...You are my life, my reason that I get to do what I love every single day and the reason I get to go home to you and our precious little boy every day. I hope I make you even slightly as proud as you make me. I love you sweetheart, thank you!"
"There was not a dry eye in the house last night by the time they played you off," the journalist began. "I know I was sitting on the couch clutching my kleenex as they cut to commercial," she chuckled.
Rachel smiled. "I meant every word," she paused. She caught Finn's eye again. "Finn is just, the best man," she gushed. "He is the love of my life, and I'm not sure where I would be without him. He picks me up when I fall, takes care of me...and it's even become more evident how wonderful he is since we've had our son..." she paused. "I could talk for hours about my husband," she chuckled. "He's the reason I get to do what I love every night. He actually took parental leave from his job as a firefighter so we didn't have to hire a nanny while I took on the role of Evita. He's just the best of the best and I am so lucky that I get to call him mine."
The journalist was eating up every word she was saying. She hadn't meant to gush about Finn, but she couldn't help it. Ever since she had gone through those few harrowing days where she was almost positive she was going to lose him, she had consciously made an effort to make sure he knew exactly what he meant to her. Seeing him in that bed had reminded her of everything he did for her, every part of her life that he was a permanent part of, every part that had absorbed his essence. Not that she had, but she would never take him for granted.
"So what is up next for you?" the journalist smiled. "Back to the stage?"
Rachel laughed. "I'm actually going to let my understudy take over for a little bit. I think a family vacation is in order...it's been a wild few years," she grinned. "Maybe even another little Hudson on the horizon...who knows!" she laughed. The crowd went wild. She could only grin as she tilted her head and met Finn's eyes. She blew him a kiss as they went to commercial.