MR. WRONG NUMBER

Sasuke gets a call from an unfamiliar number in the middle of the night. Believing it to be someone from one of the various branches in the company he worked for (why had they given them his personal number he had yet to find out), he answered it.

"Hello, Sasuke Uchiha speaking."

Silence.

"Hello?"

"Uh... you're not who I called."

The accent was clearly Australian, so it could've been an international branch -

Wait.

"Who... who did you mean to call?" Sasuke asked.

"Not you, obviously."

"Then why are you still talking to me?"

"I don't know."

"Then hang up."

"I don't see you making any moves to hang up. Besides, your voice is pretty." Sasuke snorted in response.

"What kind of a thing is that to say to a stranger?" Sasuke asked.

"I have no idea what kind of anything I say half the time. My name's Naruto, by the way."

"Naruto is a stupid name."

"Yeah, well, fuck off."

"How did you get my number?"

"I didn't," Naruto explained, "I dialed it wrong, hence 'wrong number'."

"You're Australian obviously - judging by accent and number - your numbers are no where near ours."

"Yeah, well, I was calling an American mate."

"Well I am definitely not your 'American mate'." Sasuke replied.

"Yeah, we already established that. 'Wrong number'."

"Why are we still talking?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but found himself closing it again with the lack of a proper answer.

"I haven't the slightest clue."

Things continued like that. Naruto called, Sasuke answered, and they talked. About what? They couldn't even tell you - there were so many subjects covered in the span of a call (first it was 5 minutes, then 10, 30, 2 hours - it got pretty rediculous) that they lost track themselves.

This did not go unnoticed by Sasuke's three roommates, who were all too happy that Sasuke had seemed to take interest in someone.

"Who's your friend?" Ino asked one day.

"Who?" Sasuke replied.

"You're friend. The one you flirt with every night."

"I do NOT flirt with that idiot." Sasuke replied defensively, visibly flustered.

"I think Sasuke had a crush." Sakura, roommate number 2, teased.

"I do not." Sasuke crossed his arms.

"You talk to her literally every night, Sasuke, you have a crush."

Sasuke tensed. He had always assumed He was straight, despite not taking much notice in people of the opposite gender, but that had never been brought to his attention. He suddenly realized that Naruto was a guy, and if he DID have a crush, that would make him gay.

He panicked a bit - 25 years old seemed a little too long to not know something like that.

Their conversations revealed other things about him too - his issues with intimacy (no 'I love you's', even platonic ones, little to no physical affection, constantly holding people at arms length) that he had never noticed, things he didn't realize he was so passionate/ knowledgeable about, dreams he never realized he had - Naruto opened his eyes to a lot of things about himself he had never really taken the time to notice himself.

It disturbed him.

Soon the crush idea got into Naruto's head, most likely because he claimed he liked Sasuke, too.

"Go out with me." Naruto worded it like a demand, but it was more a question - he was a little direct like that. Sasuke found it oddly... charming? Cute? He had no idea what to think about the other man at this point.

"No."

"Why not?" Naruto asked, "we talk every day. I feel like I know you better than I know most people! And I really, really like you! And you definitely can't tell me you don't like me back - You're pretty open with me."

Sasuke panicked as his mind scrambled to produce an excuse that he couldn't possibly get past.

"We've never met." That's good, right? They live practically across the globe from each other, he wouldn't come to America just to meet him.

"But we talk every day." Naruto whined.

"We haven't met." Sasuke repeated, firmer this time.

"Ok, fine."

Sasuke could practically see him sulking - except he had absolutely 0% of an idea of what he looked like. They never texted, never gave out social media (Sasuke didn't have it, though, so why would they), never did anything but call. Maybe it was out of tradition, since that's how they 'met'.

Sasuke couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

They continued to talk every night (every day for Naruto), and the more they talked, the more alarmed Sasuke became.

He was in love.

He had never thought much of the emotion, not because he didn't believe it existed, but because he knew it was infamously paired with pain. Sasuke didn't want pain, but at this point he would have to be a complete idiot to not realize that if he cut Naruto out there would also be pain.

Naruto repeatedly asked Sasuke out. Again and again, Sasuke said no. Naruto knew he would, and Sasuke knew he knew he would. The practically scripted conversation changed one night (day), however.

"So, if I met you, you'd say yes?" Naruto asked.

"What?"

"I said, if I met you, you would say yes."

"I -"

"It's the only excuse you're giving."

Again, Sasuke panicked.

"You can't do that, though." Sasuke said cautiously.

"Who says I can't?"

"Uh..." Sasuke hesitated.

"...this is one of those 'pushing people away so they don't get to close' deals, isn't it?" Naruto asked softly.

"I... I don't know." Sasuke replied in an equally soft voice. He always had problems recognizing when he did that - no one had pointed it out so blatantly before when he was doing it to them.

"Ok. That's ok." Naruto replied. "I have to go."

"Ok. Bye." The line went dead.

"I love you." Was ghosted softly under an exhalation of breath and the realization of a feeling.

"I'm coming."

"You're... you're what?" Sasuke asked - it was a little strange to answer your phone and have that be the first sentence that comes out of the other party's mouth without context.

"I'm coming. There. To America. In two weeks. So I can ask you out."

Sasuke sat quietly, stunned.

"What?"

"I'm coming to America in two weeks so I can ask you out." Naruto repeated, as if this wasn't the craziest idea that Sasuke had ever heard of.

"Why?" Sasuke just couldn't... understand. Why the hell would he do that? For Sasuke?

"...well, you won't let me ask you out over the phone. So it has to be in person. Because we haven't met. Right? Remember?"

Sasuke did remember, but he was still dumbfounded.

"I mean, why? Why me?"

"What do you mean, 'why you'? You're Sasuke. I want you to be MY Sasuke." Naruto replied confidently.

This was a... first. Naruto didn't know what he looked like. Naruto didn't know how much he made. Those two were usually the driving points that got women to agree to go on the 'blind dates' that his roommates set him up on (they always ended badly - Sasuke isn't the best with women in a date setting, besides the fact that he was unknowingly gay). What did Naruto find so intriguing about him when all they had ever done was talk?

"... I still don't understand." Sasuke stated blankly.

"That's ok," Naruto replied cheerily, "I understand. Two weeks."

"... Two weeks." Sasuke subconsciously confirmed.

"Two weeks. Gotta go. By." The line went dead.

Two weeks.

The four roommates sat at the dining room table. They ate dinner together every night, though Sasuke often ducked out towards the end when he received the nightly call.

"So... how's Ms. Wrong Number?" Ino inquired.

"Who?" Sasuke asked before adding "oh. Uh... her. Ok, I guess."

"Uh, her? Really?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah. You asked about her, right?" Sasuke defended himself.

"You speak to much to her for her to be a 'uh, her'." Ino and Sakura were apparently tag teaming him. Sasuke did not appreciate this.

"I'm just tired, fuck off."

"You... you just cussed." Sakura pointed out.

"...so I did." Sasuke tended not to, due to the fear that his vocabulary would slip in a professional setting, so it was a little frightening to realize that he might have been without noticing.

"She's rubbing off on you, since I ASSUME that's who you're getting it from." Sakura claimed.

"Yeah, we've been trying for YEARS to get you to do that." Ino pointed her fork at the sole male of the table.

"Ok. So... she's rubbed off on me. That's... you know, something that happens." Sasuke stumbled.

"You're getting flustered!" Ino sat back in her chair, teasing Sasuke.

"I am not!" Though it was a childish retort, he made it.

"He's a guy, isn't he?"

The table fell silent.

Hinata, the third roommate who had yet to be mentioned, didn't usually talk much. The prying question silenced them.

"What?" He couldn't keep the anxiety out of his voice."

"If he is, you don't have to be scared. I'm not telling you he Is - I'm asking." Hinata continued, "the three of us are in a polyamorous relationship, not to mention that we're all girls. We are not going to judge."

The sudden seriousness in her voice, the sincerity in her statement, and the lack of stuttering she most often spoke with, took Sasuke off guard.

"But I didn't even know I was gay."

There it was. Sasuke didn't mean to, but he said it. Now it was laid out on the table.

"Oh. Ok. What's up with Mr. Wrong Number, then? You dating yet?" The topic was addressed and over with with so much ease that Sasuke was a little... shocked. But, like Hinata said, he probably shouldn't have expected any less.

"Uh, no. No we're not." Sasuke denied. He felt infinitely better about the situation, so much anxiety taken off of his shoulders. He wasn't so scared about two weeks (a week and a half by now).

"Why not? You guys call each other every night." Ino asked.

"We haven't met." Sasuke answered.

"Why not?"

"He lives in Australia."

Silence.

"Oh." Was the collective response to the statement.

"He's uh... he's coming though. In a... week and a bit. To ask me... out..." Sasuke trailed off.

Now that the anxiety of coming out was gone, he could fully focus on the anxiety that Naruto's seriousness brought on.

"That's some textbook romance novel shit right there." Ino remarked.

"I guess..."

Sasuke panicked once again.

They're at the airport.

Dear God they're at the airport.

Sasuke was nervous. He was visibly nervous. He was fidgiting to no end. His roommates had never seen him like this.

They asked Sasuke what he looked like, but Sasuke still had no clue. This also meant that he had no clue as to how to identify him.

A blond approached them. Sasuke turned to look at him.

His breath was promptly taken away.

He had to control himself, though - he had no way of knowing if this man was Mr. Wrong Number.

"I have this strange feeling that you're the man of my dreams, Sasuke."

There was the accent, followed by a name drop.

Sasuke was dead.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Sas!" Naruto hugged him close. "You're so tiny! (Tiny compared to Naruto, Sasuke was taller than his roommates) and you're so pretty! And you smell so, SO good!"

Sasuke pulled back. "Don't smell me! That's weird!"

"You were smelling me too, though."

Sasuke hid his blushing face with his bangs. "... you smell good though."

Naruto laughed brightly, and Sasuke realized that phone lines don't do this man's laugh justice.

"You're adorable."

"I am NOT adorable!" Sasuke pouted, which earned another laugh and another tight, warm, and so, SO wonderful embrace.

"Ok. You're manly, then."

They pulled away far enough so they could see each other's faces.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Why did you say it like that?"

"I'm kidding - You should date me, though."

Sasuke had enough running away. He had to face this affection, both his and Naruto's, no matter how scared he was, because he knew it was the right choice.

"Ok."

Naruto kissed him.

With all the blind dates he had been on, the countless people who had tried - Naruto was his first kiss.

And boy, was he glad he was.

Naruto ended up moving to America so he could stay with Sasuke. Sasuke still could not fathom anyone going to such lengths for him.

Naruto asked Sasuke to move in with him. Sasuke agreed, on one condition, though - Naruto had to promise to marry him sometime in the future.

He did. He proposed on Christmas. Sasuke's roommates were all there, as was Naruto's 'American mate', who's number had never been anywhere near Sasuke's (Naruto swear it was. He denies. Sasuke laughs at the absurdity of the whole situation).

They are happy. They are always happy.

As long as they're together, they are happy.

They don't answer unfamiliar numbers anymore, though. One off the wall romance story was enough.

-Fin-

A/N: ALL of this was written / posted on my mobile bc fuck my computer. My memo app on my mobile has a character count for each memo so this is written in four parts on there so I have no idea how long/short this is.

Thank you for reading, it's currently 1am where I am and I'm tired af. I'm so sorry for making you all look at this with your own two (maybe one, maybe three) eyes. It was originally intended for only Tumblr but they decided to add a "text block" maximum count (100 paragraphs) so obviously dialogue isn't a thing there anymore.

Oh, well.