"So I was trying to work out which was best to get," Regina stated to the blonde who was shuffling from foot to foot in the hallway, her anxiety unnoticed by the woman too busy looking over the space she had made in her living room in preparation for the Christmas tree. The silence of the blonde beside her caused her to turn and look finally; she caught the clear discomfort etched across her face. "Emma?"
"Oh," she said, coming out of the thoughts running through her mind, "its…well, it's up to you really Regina…your call" she forced a smile onto her features though she knew the brunette didn't buy it, mercifully she just accepted it and turned her gaze back to the space before them.
"Well I'm just wondering which you would prefer," she said without looking at the widening eyes of her lover, was Regina actually considering her opinion? "I think that perhaps…for your first Christmas tree, a real one is the only way to go though" her voice was soft as it trailed off, allowing Emma to become offended if she wished to do so but also showing that she wasn't mocking the fact that Emma had never had a Christmas tree before…or a real Christmas for that matter…all due to Regina's own quest for happiness which had, in the process, ripped any chance of that away from Emma.
"I…how…how did you know?" she looked to the woman beside her unsure of what to feel now that she was aware Regina knew of her past experiences with this time of year, she didn't want pity, couldn't stand pity but that was not what she found in brown eyes as they flicked nervously between her own when Regina turned to look at her. She found only the love and comfort that she knew so well from this woman, she found the need to apologize and the want to make Emma feel special and a part of this family, she could read Regina well.
"Your mother may have mentioned in it when I told her you were going to be spending the festive season here…when I say mentioned…"
"She yelled at you?" Emma asked incredulously.
Regina held her hands up instantly in an attempt to placate the younger woman, she wasn't doing this to one up Snow White and she certainly didn't want the blonde to feel any anger towards the woman who had been working so hard to except their new situation. Regina had gained a sort of begrudging respect for the id- woman… "Emma, it's fine…she was just upset that she wouldn't get to have you there for your first Christmas together," her hands raised up further as she could see the argument wanting to bubble forth from Emma's parted lips, "but once I explained that Henry wanted to spend it with me as well as you...she understood."
"And that is when she decided to spill all of my pathetic secrets with you yeah?" her anger had not been abashed by Regina's attempts to calm her, she couldn't believe that her own mother would betray her in such a way. "Have a good little chat did we?" she spat as she moved towards the foyer and grabbed her winter wear.
Regina was right behind her with every step, "Emma stop, it wasn't like that she…"
"She what? Huh?" She stopped with her hand on the door handle, she knew she was being overdramatic but she had only just begun to regain a bond with the woman and to find out she was telling Regina things like that, causing Regina's eyes to fill with sympathy and regret as she looked upon her…it wasn't fair and it wasn't right. "Just…just forget it."
And with that, she was gone.
"Henry," she startled at the sound of her son moving throughout the house, she had been too busy thinking about what had happened earlier to pay any attention to the world around her. Looking at her watch, however, she knew her son shouldn't be home yet. "What are you doing home early?"
"School got let out early before the snow got too heavy," he merely shrugged as he made his way up to his room in order to put on some warmer, dryer clothes.
Snow? It was snowing? Regina moved from her place on the sofa and pulled back a thick curtain in order to see outside. She gasped as she watched it falling faster and thicker with every passing minute, what if Emma was still out there? Instantly her hand went to her phone and typed in Emma's number. Over the past few months of their courtship she had called the woman so much either needing to discuss matters about their son or just simply to hear her voice and so had learned the number quite quickly. She wasn't surprised when the dial tone carried on for an obscene amount of time but she just needed to be sure Emma had it with her, it meant if she truly were in any trouble she would be able to phone for help or assistance…if she wasn't being her usual stubborn self that was.
Next she searched her phone book and found the Snow's contact details, the brunette picked up rather quickly with a bright "hello Regina," in greeting, their relationship wasn't perfect but it had improved greatly for both Emma and Henry's sake.
"Snow, has Emma arrived at your house by any chance?" she couldn't hide the hope in her voice, if the younger woman had gone over to her parents, it meant she was just looking for a quick break from Regina, if she hadn't then it meant she was wondering around somewhere in the snow seeing as the bug was still parked in Regina's driveway, a thick covering of snow hiding it from the world.
She could hear the concern in the woman's voice as she told her that Emma hadn't gone there but she didn't have time to explain, she would have to look herself. Promising to fill Snow in as soon as she knew something whilst putting on her winter essentials and thick soled boots, she hung up and called to Henry to let him know that she was going out for a little while and that he should lock the door after her.
An icy wind attacked her as soon as she stepped foot outside the safety of her warm home, where would she have gone? Taking her Mercedes was out of the question as visibility was limited in the downpour of the winter elements; she would have to search by foot. Her first thought was the diner but knowing the blonde and her desire to be alone for prolonged moments, she would avoid heavy civilisation at all costs. Her next thought was the site of Henry's old castle; it reminded her of everything they had overcome in the past few months but the ground was being tested for safety in order for Regina to have another one erected for the children of the town, something which had rewarded her with a morning's worth of Emma's approval.
The Sherriff's office would be closed due to the snow, David would have redirected the calls to his personal phone from the warmth of his house with Snow, they had left the apartment to Emma after deciding it was probably for the best that they didn't crowd the blonde, this came after a frank conversation from the woman herself in which she stated that while she loved them both dearly both a parents and friends, she needed her space. Plus the fact that the office was always unforgivably cold no matter how much heat was pumped into it.
Regina had already started walking towards the town center as she considered her options; she did think that the blonde was overreacting a little. It was only a Christmas tree…but it was her first Christmas tree and her first Christmas as part of a family…it was bound to be difficult for her.
That was when it hit Regina; she knew where the younger woman would have gone. She wasn't far away from there anyway but walked faster as if scared Emma would sense her presence and flee. The brunette could be completely wrong about this but as soon as the thought entered her mind, she just felt that her love would be there and she was proved right upon rounding the last building blocking off her view of the park and the magnificent tree that had been erected only days ago. The entire town had come together bringing decorations and ornaments to hang, Gold had surprised everyone upon arriving with Belle and a sack full of the delicate wooden carvings that had been tradition in their land, it was a touching offer that all appreciated.
Just to the right of the tree was a temporary ice rink that had been installed back in September in preparation for the winter season, on certain weekends stalls had been set up selling Christmas keepsakes and spewing forth intoxicating scents of roasted chestnuts, hot chocolate and delicious pulled pork sandwiches. It truly was a spectacular sight and even better when night fell and the fairy lights draped over each stall were lit. They had frequented the place many a night, arm in arm with Henry bouncing through each passageway excitedly pointing at the treasures that were on sale before them, Regina had never felt more content in life and only hoped, as a mop of golden curls sitting on a bench before the tree came into view, that she would not lose all of that over something so little in the grand scale of things.
She didn't say anything as she neared her lover, she merely just sat down on the lightly frost covered bench and followed Emma's gaze to the huge tree before them. She wouldn't push, she would wait and it didn't take too long as she caught the puff of air that came from Emma's mouth in preparation for her to talk.
"I always wanted one you know?" Regina didn't reply, she knew the blonde needed to talk so she would just listen, "I always wanted one but…I was never in a place long enough to have one…the families I was sent to wouldn't put one up, what was the point when there wasn't going to be anything beneath it…" Regina's heart clenched at Emma's quivering tones but she still remained silent, her hand moving to rest in the space between them hoping the invitation would be accepted, it was. "I mean, it's stupid right? It's just some wood and leaves but…sometimes, when I had managed to get away from the assholes the system had put me with and was living on the streets…I would pass by these houses, you know the real hallmark type places with white picket fences and those freaky little garden gnomes that are always looking at you," they both laughed lightly at the image but grew quiet once again as a tear fell from both sets of eyes, "there was always a tree, I'd see them sat around the thing, smiling and laughing with each other as they added things to it and…I couldn't help but want that, I couldn't help but want to spend the day sticking ornaments on a thing that you were going to take down in a couple weeks anyway because…"
"It's what families do," Regina finished for her, her own voice betraying her emotions, "and all you wanted was a family."
Emma nodded her agreement as she turned to look at the teary eyed brunette but before she could speak anymore she noticed Regina's eyes veering off into her own past and knew it was her turn to listen.
"We never had this kind of a celebration in the Enchanted Forest; we follow no forms of religion and are only taught to believe in one fundamental thing…true love" her voice was low as she spoke, she was betraying no feelings to the blonde who only squeezed her hand in encouragement for her to continue, "as you well know, true love is something which, for a very long time, I have had no faith or belief in and so Christmas had been the last thing on my mind in my early years here. Obviously the curse had built the memory of the holiday into this town and its inhabitants but I had always remained as detached as possible, only becoming involved if it was truly needed…then I got Henry…"
Emma smiled at the light now dancing within deep brown eyes, she could see the love and compassion Regina only reserved for her son…and now for Emma though she still couldn't allow herself to fully accept it, it was just in her nature.
"That little boy…our little boy" Emma's heart flipped at the term and she allowed a wider smile, "he changed everything for me Emma…he gave me something to live for, something to want for and something to be better for. He gave me the love I had always searched for after my mother had taken Daniel," her voice wavered as it always did when talking about her first love but the tightened grip on her hand allowed her to remain anchored in the moment, "he gave me an outlet for the own love I held inside and needed to get out and he is the reason I cannot regret casting the curse that brought us here…although he is now one of two…and sharing this holiday with the two I hold dear is something I can't help but become excited for…you brought me back Emma, you brought my faith and belief in such a thing as true love back and I cannot thank you enough for that"
Emma brought a hand up to tuck a lock of hair behind Regina's ear and allowed her hand to rest on a winter chilled cheek, the brunette's eye fluttered closed as she leaned into the contact.
"I…I didn't mean to pry Emma or to bring up bad memories for you," she began to explain once she had allowed herself a short time to revel in the blonde. "I merely wanted to create new memories for you, for both of us…as a family."
The younger woman allowed her gaze to drop as more tears came to her eyes nodding as she went, "I know…and I also know I overreacted but this…" she gestured to where they were now, the darkness coming in as night was creeping upon them, "I run, that is what I do but with you, ever since we started this, I just can't run from you Regina"
"That I'm glad to hear," they both chuckled through their tears as Emma's green eyes found hers once again.
"I just needed some time to actually allow myself to get used to the feeling that I'm part of a family now," she went on to explain as Regina simply listened, "I'm part of something so much bigger than me and…in all honesty? I thought I was terrified, I could feel my heart beating fast and I felt like my throat was closing, I needed to get away, to gather my thoughts but as soon as I made it here and looked up at what we had all created as a community, my home…I realized it wasn't fear I had been feeling…but excitement at the prospect of doing this every year with you and our son, of having a life together and building traditions like normal families do" she pulled slender hands up to rest in her lap as she scooted closer to the brunette before her with tears in her beautifully dark eyes, "that was something I wanted for so long but never thought I would have and then you step in and give me all of that and more!"
"It's a lot to process in this little head of mine," her hand left Regina's for a moment to tap her temple in order to make her point clearer as they both let out a light laugh, "I felt like I was suffocating but I wasn't…I was surfacing, I had buried myself in so much of my past that I couldn't see that my future was opening up before my very eyes without me having done anything to get it…it's not even dangling about to fall like I thought it would be, it's right there for me to grab, suspended until I reach out my hand and take it…I want it."
"You…you do?" Regina asked tentatively, she was hearing the words Emma was saying but not truly allowing herself to accept them, she couldn't get her hopes worked up to have them shattered in a matter of minutes, she wasn't sure she was strong enough to get through that.
Emma nodded with utter certainty, the night air making everything so much clearer to her. The woman sat before her, shivering slightly in the cold, waiting with bated breath for Emma to break her heart with a lie…a lie Emma couldn't tell because she didn't know how, she no longer felt the familiar impulse to run, she only felt a need to remain close to this woman, even when touching she wanted to be nearer, even when looking she wanted to see more.
Slowly, and much to Regina's confusion, she stood from her place on the bench and held out a hand for the brunette to take. She did with trepidation and rose slowly so that they were only inches away. A slender hand cupped her cheek and pulled her inwards so that their mouths were almost touching, their frosty breaths mingling in the air and rising up towards the heavens as if some sort of message to the universe, they were one.
Emma tilted her head to the right slightly in preparation and closed the distance between them, it was only a soft kiss but full of the passion that only they felt. They pulled away after a few moments, Regina's eyes still closed as the blonde pressed tender kisses to her tear swollen eyelids before whispering softly and intertwining their fingers.
"Let's go home baby"