Mario Farted and Bowser-chan's Heart Went Doki Doki, by Dickfart
Bowser-chan sat in the back of Yoshi-sensei's math class, staring blissfully at Mario-senpai. The teenage lord of 'stache made Bowser-chan's cheeks red and heart go doki doki. Bowser-chan's best friend, Eggman-chan, passed him a note in class.
"You should confess to Mario-senpai, tee hee."
"I CAN'T DO THAT!" Bowser-chan bellowed, shooting a ball of fire straight through the ceiling. It singed students on the upper floor, and a few of them fell into the room, including Donkey Kong, Andross, and Gernondorf. They were all groany and crispy. "Oh, sorry."
"King Koopa-san, what have I told you about spitting fire during class?" said Yoshi-sensei.
"Don't do it..." said Bowser-chan, shyly, as students from the upper patted fire off of their clothes while vowing to get their revenge. Bowser-chan got into a lot of fights, but still did his best. Ganbatte, Bowser-chan!
"And did you listen?"
"... No."
"Stand outside my class. I'll deal with you in a second."
Dejected, Bowser-chan skulked his way out of the class. He'd be stuck cleaning all the chalk board erasers again. He just knew it!
Moments later, he heard a massive fart from outside of the door, and a few screams. This was strange, because Wario-senpai didn't have classes with Bowser-chan, and Rouge-senpai graduated last year. Farts of that caliber only came from the most legendary of rumps. Bowser-chan's own Rump Command could not compete, but he wiped daily and buttered his pooper in hopes that senpai would notice someday.
Who knew that coveted day would be today?
"Mario-san!" said Yoshi-senpai. "You knew there were active flames in the classroom. Why did you rip a naughty?"
"Mama Mia made culo di maiale and cabbage the night before. It's got my guts all a rumbly," said Mario-senpai, and Bowser's heart went doki doki once again. With great 'stache comes great farts, though Rouge the Bat will smack anyone who points out her 'stache. She worked hard on growing tits and ears so people wouldn't notice.
"Go stand outside with King Koopa-san, Mario-san!" said Yoshi-sensei, and now Bowser-chan's heart was truly doki doki pika pika kawaii desu ne.
And out Mario-senpai strolled, all cool like, and Bowser-chan was beside himself.
"Bowser-chan, was it?" said Mario-senpai, and Bowser-chan hung his head in his hands and squealed. "Fanculo, drago omosessuale. School is a so boring. Let's a skip, yeah?"
This was his big chance! He could finally go on a date with Mario-senpai. And Bowser-chan was all sorts of naughty, so skipping class would only be natural.
But Bowser-chan was shy. That's why Shy Guys related so well to him. He knew what he wanted to say in his heart, but his mouth told another story. "I... I can't," said Bowser-chan. "If I don't get high marks, I'll never grow up to be a successful evil overlord."
"Mi amore, school is a nothing but capitalist pigs trying to indoctrinate you for their own purposes. You will never be free to be your own kind of evil until you join me," he pulled out a cigar and asked for a light. Bowser-chan gave him one, yet his mouth steered him wrong once more.
"I can't, senpai! I... I want to, but I can't. I have to be the very best evil overlord like no one ever was. That's my calling in life!"
"Suit yourself," said Mario, flicking ashes onto the ground. He hopped twice, giving Bowser-chan a kiss on each cheek. "So long, Gay Bowser." And then he placed the cigar between his buttcheeks and fire farted himself through the nearest cement wall like a missile.
As the entire West Wing of the school collapsed and people all around filled the halls was terrorized screams, Bowser-chan stood there in awe, the kiss-shaped moisture on his cheeks being more than he could bear. Eventually he sputtered out the word "b-baka!" and walked to his next class.
And that's the story of how Gay Bowser got his nickname.
The End