As I lay on the couch watching "Daily Lifes of Teenage Grandmas"with my wonderful wife, Katniss I sip a drink of eggnog and look at my Christmas tree. "What a beauty!", I think. This year I made Katiniss buy a fake tree because I was watching TTT6 News and saw that real trees can catch on fire quickly. It took alot of protesting and begging like a 4 year old child wanting that new glamourous training potty but the mother saying no. Tisk Tisk Tisk too you my mother! ( That was a real life inccident.). Even though I miss the smell of the real tree, I smell Buttercup's litter box and try to imagine the smell of a real Christmas tree but all I smell is wonderful poop. I want to be safe and sound because we have a child named Daisy. 3 years old but DANGEROUS. She came at me with a knife on Friday afternoon after protesting about how she should get a Elmo CD called "Magic In The Potty:A sequel" including favorites "Wipe your Bottom", and " Flush". Its a nice CD but I refused to buy it because I influnce my child to watch Barney and buy the Barney CD "Barney and me: Potty Edition. Daisy also has a HUGE vocabulary which makes verbal threats even WORSE! I was almost stabbed when Katniss came in the room and threated a spanking. She dropped the knife and went to her room while me and Katniss had a little "fun".
After our "fun" Katniss got Daisy ready for bed. It's not fun being alone knowing that a 3 year old almost mass muder could come out with a knife any minute. After "Daily Lifes of Teenage Grandmas" went off I turned off the T.V and decided I should get ready for bed myself. I got on my wonderful new "Kitchen Master" PJS Katniss had bought me for our anniversary knowing I loved to bake. When Katniss came in we "fought" for the remote because I wanted to watch "Jersey Shore" ( Gotta love Pauly D) and Katniss wanted to watch "It's A Wonderful Life". Of course I let her win because I didn't want to see her cry. 15 minutes in the movie and I wanted to break the T.V with my amazing arm stregth. I could probaly break it with a pinky but $1589 worth a T.V I think I'll pass. 20 minutes in the movie Katniss was sobbing and this was my chance to cuddle with her and maybe steal a kiss. As I am making my way over to cuddle with Katniss BANG! Power outage. As Katniss stops crying Daisy starts crying. I magnged to make my way through the pitch black house pick-up Daisy and bring her in Me and Katniss's room. Once I get in there I see Katniss has lit some candles. Oh what a wonderful wife I have but there goes cuddling with Katniss because looks like she's already has a new cuddling partner. DAISY!
Once the power goes on and Daisy and Katniss go to sleep I am relieved I can turn off this mess. I pick up Daisy and put her in her bed and make my way through the house when I hear a lock pop. I bolt and snatch Daisy, then wake up Katniss. Once she is awake I shove them in the bathroom and make them lock the door. As I reach under the bed for a "Louisville Slugger" I hear tiptoing through the house and I see cameras flashing. As I turn on my light I see 7 girls with 5 boys accompining them taking pictures and IMing friends and linking photos of my house! I look down and see a crowbar and look up. I am ready to beat them when I hear "Cut,Cut,Cut! t Hey,thats the voice of President Snow!
"Snow? What are you doing here?!", I shout with furry. "Making a movie of course!" he replies. I am ready to punch all of these people when Katniss walks out with Daisy. " What's going on here?!", she screams. " THEY ARE MAKING A MOVIE IN OUR HOUSE!" , I reply. As I shove them out , and turn around I see two men and Katniss and Daisy being dragged put in a truck and watch the truck go away, I see a gun pointed to my dear head! THIS IS NOT GOOD!