Thank You for Flying British Airways
It had all started innocuously enough.
Valjean had made some remark about flying and asked Javert his opinion and so he had admitted that he'd never been on an airplane.
"How have you never been on an airplane?" Valjean had asked, dumbfounded. "Javert, you're in your fifties!"
"I never needed to fly," Javert had said simply. "It's a waste to try to fly to France – if you can even do that –when it's just an hour and a half channel ride or half that time with no view if you want to take the train. You can even drive to France by putting your car on either the ferry or the train!"
"But to drive anywhere but France would take forever!" Valjean had protested. "And even driving from Calais to Paris is several hours."
Javert had simply shrugged. "I never did like to travel."
He had thought that would be the end of it but apparently he was wrong.
Valjean had somehow gotten it into his head that it was unacceptable for a moderately well-off man in his fifties living in Britain to have never flown before and so he started planning. By the time he had asked Javert if he would like to go to Rome with him, everything was already paid for and so Javert could not say no without wasting a great deal of money. Valjean was a wealthy man and so it really wouldn't matter much to him (even if he'd prefer to give the money away if he was not going to use it) but Javert hated to be wasteful and so somehow found himself agreeing to the trip.
Their flight was at one o'clock in the afternoon so, naturally, they had to leave the house at nine in the morning. Javert couldn't understand just why they needed to leave four hours before their flight but Valjean swore up and down that it was necessary.
They wheeled their suitcases to the nearest tube station, which was rather unpleasantly crowded, and waited for their train.
When the train showed up three minutes later, Javert attempted to board it but a hand on his arm stopped him. He turned to find Valjean looking a little pale.
"Let's wait for the next one, shall we?"
"Why?" Javert asked. "There's a perfectly good train right here and the next one doesn't come for another nine minutes."
"I know but…" Valjean trailed off helplessly. "I would rather wait."
"Whatever happened to 'we need to get there as early as possible'?" Javert grumbled but he stayed put and watched the doors close. He thought he knew what the problem was. "I'll never understand the behavior of people at tube stations. Waiting nine minutes is annoying but it shouldn't be the end of the world. What rational person would look at a train that is stuffed to capacity and think 'I can fit in there.' Maybe they are technically right but everyone involved would rather that they just wait and not try to break some sort of contortionist world record or something."
Valjean was looking better and he smiled at that. "Some people are in a hurry, I suppose."
"If they are cutting it so close that they are not able to wait less than ten minutes for the next train then perhaps they should consider leaving more room in their schedule," Javert said. "It's just not practical to live your life on the verge of being late."
Valjean glanced behind him at the people who were starting to show up to the platform and sighed. "We can't just wait until it's not crowded as people are always going to be showing up."
"No," Javert agreed. "But at least now we're going to be the first ones to get on and so will likely get a seat. No matter how bad the crowd is and how questionably sane each new person jamming themselves in the door is, they can't take any space away from the people sitting down or our luggage."
"I hope it's not too crowded," Valjean said with not half the fervor Javert was sure he felt. "It will make getting off at our stop difficult, especially with our bags."
Javert waved the thought off. "We will manage, I suppose. The trains always have to pause long enough to cram every last person waiting on the platform in and I'm sure no one will fight us when we want to vacate the train."
The train arrived just then and the pair of them were easily able to get a seat.
Javert immediately turned his attention to the tube map displayed above the seats opposite him.
"What are you looking at?" Valjean asked curiously.
"I'm making sure that I know our route," Javert explained.
"You really don't need to know. I've taken the tube straight to Heathrow before and I know where I'm going," Valjean pointed out.
"I would prefer not to be entirely dependent on you for this," Javert said.
Valjean still looked a little dubious but said nothing.
After having to switch trains, they found themselves seated again and surrounded by more people clearly headed to the airport.
Valjean surrendered his seat to someone who appeared around his age (not that Valjean actually looked his own age and Javert sometimes suspected people thought he was the older one in their relationship) because they 'looked tired' and was as impervious as ever to Javert's glare.
Javert was only able to watch Valjean standing there holding onto his rail for a few minutes before abruptly standing up and ordering Valjean to sit.
"What?" Valjean looked startled. "Javert, there's really no need to-"
"It's my seat and I want you to sit," Javert cut him off. "And seeing as how it's my seat, don't go thinking you can just give this one away!"
Looking rather bemused, Valjean reluctantly sat down.
"Promise me, Valjean. I mean it," Javert said seriously. "I didn't give up my seat for some stranger."
"I promise, Javert."
As they got closer to the airport, the train emptied out some and so Javert was able to get a seat diagonally from Valjean.
He stood up when it said they were at the airport but Valjean shook his head. "Wait until we get to the next terminal."
Once they got out, they had to squeeze their luggage through some metal dividers that Javert could only assume were there to stop people from having too much luggage even though by that point it was a little late to not take what they had with them. He and Valjean were not heavy packers and so had no trouble getting to the lifts.
It was barely organized chaos once they were on the right floor but Valjean seemed to know what he was doing and they bypassed many of the lines.
"Are you sure we're allowed to do this?" Javert asked skeptically. "The lines are there for a reason."
Valjean nodded as he and Javert entered the security line. "Yes and that reason is to either help customers who have a problem or to give them a boarding pass and we already printed ours off at home. Of course, we'll get our fill of waiting in line here at security."
Valjean said nothing when they got near the front of the line and directed to the shortest line to actually get their bags checked but Javert saw the look in his eye.
"What?" Javert asked.
"Nothing, it's nothing," Valjean denied.
Javert crossed his arms. "Valjean."
"It's just…sometimes the family line can take longer, even with less people, because the children and all of their luggage and carrying cases and whatnot can take longer," Valjean told him reluctantly. "And I must admit that I'd rather just get through security as quickly as possible."
There were only two families in front of them but, as Javert watched, they were taking markedly longer than the adults in the other lines.
"Why didn't you say something when they put us in this line?" he asked, annoyed.
Valjean held up his hands. "It's not like I would have been able to get in a different line because we didn't want to wait. When there aren't families with small children near the front of the line, someone has to be in this line. It would be an even bigger delay if the person checking the bags had no one to check because we were all in other lines."
Javert supposed that was true but as neither he nor Valjean were children nor had they brought any sticky children with them, he wished they did not have to be the ones to wait.
Eventually, it was their turn and they got bins to put their things in.
"We have to take off our belts, empty our pockets, and take out our laptops," Valjean explained. "Oh, and take off our jackets, as well."
"Why?" Javert asked, bemused. "Does the metal detector really get a few pence confused with a knife or a gun or whatever it is they are looking for?"
Valjean winced. "Maybe don't talk about those things in security if we actually want to be able to pass security."
"What, are we going to be pulled aside for mentioning we don't have knives or guns?" Javert asked skeptically.
"I don't know because I've never tried it but I would really not like to test that," Valjean said. "And to answer your question, in the past I've forgotten to empty my pockets and the change didn't set off the metal detector."
"Then why do I need to take it out?" Javert wondered.
"Well you don't want to guess wrong, set it off, and delay clearing security while they sort that out, do you?" Valjean asked rhetorically. "And I guess they don't want your coat on because it's bulky and can hide things and when your laptop is clearly a large electronic device going through the x-ray machine, they want to be sure that it's a computer and not…something else."
Javert was briefly amused that Valjean refused to say 'bomb' here. But maybe he was right, who knew? Javert had never worked airport security and had never so much as been to an airport before (at least doing more than picking someone up or dropping them off outside which really wasn't the same thing at all) so he would have to defer to Valjean's extensive experience in these matters. It did seem a little paranoid but he didn't know what it was like to be a member of airport security. Perhaps they really did need to be that careful.
He just knew that if he were on patrol, back when he still had a patrol, he was hardly going to stop and search people for talking about guns in a movie or something.
Their items were placed through the x-ray machine and then Valjean and Javert had to walk through an x-ray machine themselves and Javert nobly refrained from asking why they couldn't just carry their luggage with them.
Once they were through, Valjean suggested that they get something to eat.
"Wait," Javert said, frowning. "I thought we had to get to our flight."
"Oh, well there's still two hours until we leave. The gate won't even be open for an hour and a half or so," Valjean said, unconcerned.
It took Valjean a second to realize that Javert had stopped walking. He turned back, a question on his lips.
"Valjean," Javert said, dangerously calm. "Why did we have to leave for our flight four hours early just to have to wait two hours once we get through security to go?"
"Well, we'll have to get to the gate shortly before it closes," Valjean explained. "If we don't then we won't be allowed to board. And if you arrive too late then they will assume you won't be able to get through security in time to get to your gate before it closes and we'd be forced to either go home or hope there is another ticket we can buy at full price to Rome. It might not even be a direct flight."
Javert wouldn't want to waste more money buying another ticket when they had already bought tickets and something told him that if he couldn't get a direct flight it might take even longer than that the two hours he was stranded here now. After all, he would probably need to go through security again and wait around for the second flight.
Just the same…
"What exactly are we supposed to do for the next two hours?" Javert demanded.
"Hour and a half," Valjean automatically corrected.
Javert didn't even bother to dignify that with a response.
"We could always look around," Valjean offered. "I think that's what most people do."
"You want us to 'look around' an airport?" Javert asked incredulously. "What is there to even look at?"
"Airports know that people are going to show up early and have a lot of time to kill or have their flight rescheduled or something and so they responded accordingly," Valjean explained. "There are actually a lot of stores in the airport."
"Stores," Javert repeated. "You mean to buy food?"
"Food, too," Valjean agreed. "We can get lunch a little later if you want but it might be a bit early for that now. They also have an extensive collection of alcohol and cigarettes and a million souvenirs in case you wanted one last memento of your trip to Britain – or wherever the airport is located – and books. Plenty of books for people who didn't think to bring something to do at the airport or on the airplane. I got the book I'm currently reading the last time I went to an airport."
Javert looked at his watch, willing it to move faster. It did not. If his only choices were eating at eleven o'clock, looking at the probably overpriced things the airport wanted to sell him, or sitting down somewhere and staring at the flight display board until it was time to go to their gate and wait for another half an hour until they were permitted to board…well at least it would be good exercise.
Javert may have had no problem just looking at stores and moving on but he did have to be careful to keep Valjean away from the salespeople. Valjean needed no British souvenirs and he did not smoke and rarely drank but whenever a salesperson aggressively went after him he always ended up buying something. It was not that he particularly wanted it, he had explained to Javert, but he always felt guilty that these people had spent so much time on him (even if he had told them he wasn't interested right at the start) if he wasn't going to reward that effort by making a purchase.
Of course, Valjean wasn't happy at him snapping at salespeople either but it tended to cost them less and save them the inconvenience of having to carry around their new unnecessary purchases. There was no stopping Valjean from purchasing at least one book every time they went to a place that sold them, however, and Javert took the opportunity to grab a book that looked like it might be at least mildly informative since he had not thought to bring any himself. He did not especially enjoy reading and, though he often did it anyway for the sake of self-improvement, he had not thought to bring something along while they were on vacation. He could read anywhere but chances were he would not be heading back to Rome.
When they had walked around enough to kill a sufficient amount of time, they decided to get lunch. Javert would have been perfectly happy buying from one of the sandwich stands they walked by or that Starbucks but Valjean wanted to go to something more 'interesting.'
That was how they ended up at a restaurant called the Giraffe Café. Javert had seriously considered just not eating at all if that was to be his only option (surely they would serve something on the plane, right?) since what was the point of enduring family restaurants if he did not have a child with him? Valjean had a strange fondness for children and their natural habitats, however, and thought the name was 'cute' so inside they went.
The food wasn't bad even if the menu was overly colorful and made it difficult for him to take it seriously.
Fortunately, by the time they were finished their gate had just been called and Javert insisted on heading straight there even though Valjean assured him they needn't arrive until just before the gate closed. A few people were at the gate before them but they still easily got their seats and settled down to wait.
Valjean promptly pulled out a book and started reading but Javert did not like to read in public and surely they wouldn't be waiting for that long so he just looked at the people around him. They were not particularly interesting but it was better than doing nothing.
Javert grew a little concerned as the time drew nearer to one o'clock and they were not called to board but, on the other hand, what did he really know about flying? Perhaps it was normal to wait until the last minute. But then it became one o'clock and the gate announcement said that the flight was delayed. Why in the world would the flight be delayed? Didn't they know in advance what time the flight was supposed to leave? Surely they wouldn't schedule flights so closely together that if a plane was a little late getting in it delayed everything else all day that plane was meant to do, would they?
At nearly a quarter to two, they were finally called to board.
Javert felt a strange sense of trepidation as he stepped from the connection to the terminal to the actual plane itself but he did not dwell on it.
Unfortunately, they were a few rows back and no one was moving very quickly. At some points, everyone just stopped moving at all.
"What's taking so long?" Javert asked. "The seats are clearly labeled and everyone had to have their ticket out to get on the plane so it can't be a matter of not knowing where to go."
"People have to store their carry-ons in the space above their seat," Valjean explained. "That can take awhile."
Javert stared at him. "Are you serious?"
"Of course I am," Valjean said. "Some things are too big or inconvenient to put under your seat or else they aren't intending to use them during the flight."
"But why hold up traffic?" Javert demanded. "Why not just get in their seats and fiddle with their luggage once everyone else has gotten in theirs?"
Valjean shrugged. "I do not know. Perhaps they are worried that someone else will take their luggage spot. There is not always as much room as people would want. And unless someone has as aisle seat, getting out to put their bulky luggage above them might be awkward."
Javert sighed and impatiently waited until they could reach their seat. It must be even worse for those in the back of the plane.
Valjean got the window seat and Javert was in the middle leaving a woman with a baby on the aisle. He had a feeling that that was not going to make for a very pleasant experience.
Valjean saw the way he was looking, nudged him, and whispered, "It's going to be fine."
He was taken a little aback when the flight attendant stopped by and told him to put his phone away for take-off.
"Why do I need to put my phone away for take-off?" he asked blankly.
"It's just the rules," the flight attendant told him before walking away.
Since it was the rules of the airline, Javert did turn his phone off but he wasn't happy about it.
"They say that the instruments don't work if electronic devices are on," Valjean explained. "I do not know if I believe that but why take the risk? After we've been in the air for a few minutes then we'll be able to turn them back on."
Javert was about to answer something about why, if electronics interfered with flying, it was fine to have them on while they were actually up in the air when suddenly the plane began to move and he tried to brace himself. He was not sure exactly what a take-off would be like but he imagined that it might be sort of similar to rollercoasters (except the opposite because they were going up very quickly instead of down). He thought that the plane had taken off and that it wasn't so bad when the plane actually did take off and he realized that before it was just rolling along the runway. Taking off was not precisely like a rollercoaster but the unpleasant lurching feeling in his stomach remained the same.
He glanced over at Valjean and saw that the other man appeared not at all bothered by the take-off. He resolved not to say anything either and, as soon as the fasten seatbelt sign was off, turn his phone back on and listen to some music.
They had stopped gaining altitude for what felt like forever before they were finally allowed to go for their electronics again.
Javert was able to mostly ignore what was going on around him until they brought the food out. They could have chosen to buy something but since he had just eaten Javert did not see the point. He was offered his choice of juice, water, or a fizzy drink and given an egg sandwich which sounded absolutely nauseating and it was not as cold as he felt it should be. Still, it was complimentary so he managed to force it down with aid from his orange juice.
His attempts to listen to music now that his phone was on again were stymied a little by the fact that the baby started to fuss and that instantly summoned two flight attendants to try and deal with the child. Even once it quieted down, they didn't leave and instead made small talk with the mother about babies.
Javert supposed it was better than the crying and just turned his music up.
Valjean, naturally, seemed to have no trouble losing himself in his book.
It was later than it should have been when they arrived in Rome, thanks to the delay, and it was dark and raining. Fortunately, they had elected not to take the long train ride from the airport to the city proper and hired a driver. They had thought about renting a car but they did not know where they were going and didn't want to worry about parking or remembering to drive on the wrong side of the road.
There was evidently something of an airplane etiquette when it came to getting off. Javert was ready to get off the moment the plane touched the ground but no one got off until everyone in the row in front of them was off, even when some people were taking forever to gather their stuff and people could have easily moved past them. Ordinarily he would be pleased at this display of unprompted order (the way that he always was whenever traffic lights were not working and people managed not to cause accidents anyway) but he had spent too much time on the plane listening to that baby who had started crying again and he had a huge headache.
Javert did not know where they were going and, as far as he knew, Valjean had never been to Rome before either but he confidently led the way to the baggage claim.
"Which one is ours?" Javert asked, staring at all of the different conveyer belts. The conveyer belts had little monitors above them that said which flights would be spilling luggage onto them but he couldn't see their flight.
"Maybe it's not up there yet," Valjean suggested.
They waited and walked around looking at the various monitors before finally one of the monitors listed their flight and they settled down to wait.
Unfortunately, the delay in having the luggage show up as well as the fact that three flights were on the same conveyer belt meant that it was extremely crowded and Javert could barely even see the luggage and probably wouldn't be able to get to it easily once he found his.
Additionally, while he and Valjean both had their names on their luggage, their suitcases (Valjean's was black and Javert's was red) were hardly distinctive and so a couple of times a suitcase coming out into the open caught his eye and he wondered if it might be one of theirs but when it got closer he could see that it was not.
He watched people claim their suitcases and some of the unclaimed ones start to make a reappearance as the conveyer belt made a full circle and still their bags were nowhere to be seen.
"Is it supposed to take this long?" he asked.
Valjean, who had also been watching the belt intensely, started. "What? No, usually it doesn't take this long."
"What should we do?" Javert asked.
Valjean shrugged. "I don't there is anything to do. Neither of us speak Italian and we can't trust that the people who work here would speak English well enough to help us. And there isn't really anything to help, either. It says the bags will come out of here so, whatever the delay, they will eventually come out of here."
They were kept waiting for so long (forty minutes since the first time Javert remembered glancing at his watch and who knew how long into the wait that was?) that Javert's feet began to hurt but there was nowhere to sit and he did not want to lose his spot in the crowd.
Eventually, he did spot his suitcase but he had had so many false alarms that he was a little surprised when this one turned out to actually be his. He quickly pulled it out and then stepped back so that he wouldn't be blocking the view of anyone still looking. Valjean found his a few minutes later and then they could finally leave.
"I don't like airports," Javert announced as they started to wheel their suitcases towards the exit. "Or airplanes, either."
"That's fine," Valjean replied. "We've got a week to recover from the trip and usually they're much easier than this."
Javert decided that Valjean's words must have jinxed them.
They had a wonderful week in Rome and the weather, outside of that first day, was just charming and reminded him of Spain. Not a lot of the people they met spoke English but the people at the hotel they stayed at did as well as the people at all the tourist locations they went to.
He was a little sad to leave at the end of the week but he did have to get back to work and they couldn't stay away forever.
The car dropped them off at the airport four hours before their flight was to take off and so they had three hours to kill instead of just two by the time they had managed to get through security. Valjean ended up ordering pizza again at the restaurant despite the fact that the person working there really didn't speak English and so it was a bit of a challenge. He had insisted on ordering pasta and pizza and all the other things that he thought of as Italian food everywhere they went just to see if it was really better than the British version.
He had seen a little magnet of a jar of pasta in a small souvenir store right after they got off at the stop to go to their Colosseum tour but they had been running a little late and were worrying about being left behind and so they hadn't had time to stop and buy it. Valjean had tried to find that magnet later when they went to the Vatican and walked past literally dozens of people selling magnets only a few feet from each other on the way to the line to get in but no one had such a thing so they eventually had to go back to the Colosseum stop just to get that magnet because he was so sure that it was perfect for Cosette and she would love it. Half of the souvenirs he had bought on the trip were for Cosette.
Cosette, being Cosette, probably would but she was so easy to please. Anything that Valjean ever did that showed that he was thinking of her delighted her. Whenever Javert pointed that out to him he just got a wider smile and bought her something else. They really were quite hopeless.
Javert knew what to expect this time and so didn't worry when six o'clock turned into six-thirty turned into seven. When they received the news that the plane had been vibrating on the way over, however, he began to get a bad feeling. Still, they had no more news for another hour and then they were told that the flight was cancelled but they could sort out new flights in the morning and in the meantime could feel free to stay at no cost at the hotel attached to the airport.
"The plane is vibrating?" Javert couldn't believe it. "We're stuck here an extra night because the plane was vibrating?"
"That's actually very serious, Javert," Valjean told him. "It's right for them to ground us."
Javert could concede that Valjean knew far more about planes and flying than he did. "It just doesn't sound like something serious at all."
"I know," Valjean told him. He stood up. "We should probably get going so we can follow everyone else and find the hotel."
Fortunately, even with souvenirs, they did not have so much with them that it would make a long trek through the airport to the hotel problematic even if they had to stop by the baggage claim and pick up their suitcases first. Valjean ended up making friends with the people they were following to the hotel and Javert said just enough not to be considered rude. Javert marveled once again that Valjean was the one who had wasted years in prison and yet he was still the friendly one.
Javert was not sure what he was expecting of the hotel attached to the airport but he had not thought that it would be a Hilton. Well, if they had to be stuck in Italy for another night then at least they had nice accommodations. He had tried to find out from the people at the hotel what time they were supposed to go to the airport the next morning but the man was not very good at English outside of dealing with booking rooms and so Javert got a vague answer of maybe nine.
While the room might have been free, the internet was not. In fact, it was more than twenty euros for just twenty-four hours and they weren't even going to be in the country for twenty-four hours if Javert had anything to say about it. He thought it was a rip-off but Valjean insisted that he had to Skype Cosette since he hadn't seen her in a week and he wanted to let her know they were delayed.
Soon, he and Cosette were beaming at each other and having the most inane conversation and Javert decided to maybe make it an early night.
The next morning, he woke Valjean up early and they quickly went down to breakfast, got dressed, and headed to the airport.
Valjean had never had a flight cancelled on him before so he wasn't quite sure of the protocol. They decided to just go up to the help area for British Airways. When they made it to the front of the line, they were told that British Airways only had one flight going to London that day and it was full but she recommended that they go over to Ibiza Airlines since there were plenty of flights from Rome to Madrid and then hourly flights from Madrid to London.
It took them awhile to find the right line and then to get to the front of it since there were plenty of other passengers ahead of them, including Valjean's new friends from the night before.
As it happened, the next available flight was already called to the gate so they hurried over there.
Valjean took one look at Javert's face and chuckled. "They aren't going to cancel this flight, too."
"I don't trust them."
"And even if they do, there are plenty of other flights today to Madrid. They can't possibly cancel all of them," Valjean reasoned.
"There is a thing called 'famous last words' and you are falling right into that," Javert accused.
"But they can't," Valjean said again.
Javert remained unconvinced even as they boarded the plane.
There was no food this time but that was fine since it was a shorter flight. They were lucky and there was no third person in their row.
"Cosette said that she was jealous that our flight was cancelled," Valjean remarked offhandedly.
Javert turned to stare at him. "Really? Why would she get jealous that we wasted a day and spent too many hours waiting for our flight in the airport yesterday?"
"I don't think she really understood what it was to have your flight cancelled," Valjean said slowly.
"How can she not understand? She's not an idiot."
"Of course not! But she was talking about how she would love another day to spend in Rome. I don't think she realizes how far away the airport is from the city and that we were just in the airport and then the hotel the rest of the time and there was no more time to walk around Rome than if we had been able to leave when we were supposed to," Valjean explained.
"I guess that makes sense," Javert said reluctantly. What Cosette had been romantically imagining had been the exact opposite of what had actually happened, though. At least they hadn't had to sleep in the airport itself.
They were delayed arriving again which was a problem because they had only had an hour and a half between when they were supposed to land and when the next flight was. With their luck on this trip, Javert would not be surprised if this was the one flight that was not delayed in any way. When they actually arrived, it was thirty minutes before the plane was going to take off.
"Should we accept the inevitable or try to make the flight?" Valjean asked him.
"I'd rather not be stuck another hour in Madrid if I don't have to be," Javert told him, "particularly seeing as how we are hardly sightseeing. And if our luggage gets on that plane then I would prefer to be as well."
Unfortunately, Madrid had a truly bizarre layout…or at least it seemed that way to Javert who had only been to Heathrow and the airport in Rome, whatever that was called. The different sections all had different letters and they needed to be a few letters away from where they were. At least they could take moving walkways and, by walking on those instead of standing still, make even better time.
They had to take a train from one part of the airport to another and that was never a good sign in Javert's opinion.
Then, despite the fact that they had just gotten off of another flight, they had to go through security again. Thankfully the EU line moved faster than the non-EU line (which was also the line for the handicapped, strangely enough) even though it was longer. Someone spilled M&Ms all over the floor at some point in the line and Javert tried his best not to step on too many of them.
Once they finally made it through that congested mess and reached their gate, they were told that they were in time to board but that their luggage would not make it to the plane in time so they would need to take the next flight. That flight would only be in an hour but it was an extra delay that Javert did not want so he left it to Valjean to thank them and accept two certificates for a free sandwich and drink from one of the sandwich stands around the airport.
Javert was too annoyed to be very hungry but he also did not want to waste the certificate and so he ordered something anyway even though by this point he was a little paranoid about not making it to the new gate in time.
"It's going to be fine," Valjean assured him. "We're not going to miss this flight."
"I don't trust airports," Javert replied.
"How could we possibly miss the flight? We can see the boarding gate from here," Valjean pointed out.
Javert looked pointedly at him.
Valjean sighed. "You don't trust airports."
Valjean's friends from the hotel the night before came and sat down across from them then and Valjean perked up and started chatting with them. Since Javert was not in the mood to be rational and instead wanted to think dark thoughts about how much he hated airports, being left alone like this really worked for him.
With Javert's watchful eyes on the boarding gate, they could not fail to notice when it was time for them to board. The fact that plenty of other people who had not been paying so close attention also showed up to board was really beside the point.
Valjean said goodbye to the people he'd been speaking with when they ended up sitting nowhere near each other on the plane.
"This should be a short flight," Valjean assured him. "Only about two hours, I think."
"It was two hours to get to Madrid in the first place," Javert complained. "And less than three hours to get from London to Rome in the first place."
"Well this wasn't a straight trip," Valjean pointed out. "But come now, even if the actual travelling was…less than ideal, wasn't the trip itself worth it?"
"How good the trip was has nothing to do with how awful the travelling was," Javert said stubbornly.
Valjean just sighed at him. "It will all be over soon."
"Do you have any idea how ominous that sounds?" Javert asked idly.
"Probably a lot more ominous if you'd stayed up to watch Final Destination with me," Valjean replied.
"It was in Italian," Javert said. "Neither of us speak it. There were no subtitles. What is the point of watching a movie in a foreign language we don't speak with no subtitles?"
Valjean shrugged. "I enjoyed it."
Javert considered it a great feat of willpower that he managed to refrain from bringing up how they had missed the beginning of the movie and Valjean couldn't remember what it was called so he tried to google 'movie where death kills people.'
Having spent far too much time doing far too little today, he reluctantly took out his book and started to read. Fortunately, while he did hate reading dearly, it did help to pass the time and he was almost surprised when the announcement came that it was time to fasten their seatbelts for the landing.
Javert and Valjean's were already fastened, of course, as were most people's so they just waited in anticipation for the plane to land and them to be free of it. Or at least that was what Javert was doing. Valjean was probably just waiting to disembark or something like that.
Javert unbuckled his seat-belt once they stopped and stood up. "What's taking so long?"
"I don't know," Valjean replied. "Maybe they need to check something or there were a lot of planes landing so the staff are busy and haven't gotten around to doing what they need to do so we can leave."
"I feel like I'm trapped in some never ending nightmare," Javert complained.
"I really don't know what it was about this trip," Valjean said, shaking his head in bemusement. "I fly all the time and I almost never have problems."
"I find that rather unlikely given my experience," Javert replied.
"Really, this is just the one trip where anything that could have gone wrong has!" Valjean insisted.
"Wonderful. So I'm just a cursed flyer. That makes this so much better," Javert said dryly.
"Twenty minutes from now we'll be on our way to the underground," Valjean said soothingly.
Javert sighed. "And then another hour after that until we're home."
"But at least we won't be on an airplane or in an airport," Valjean said. "And we'll be back home in London."
"Where the trains never leave any earlier no matter how many stops are completely empty," Javert said irritably. It may be necessary to do that to keep the trains running smoothly and on schedule but sometimes, when he was tired and it was late, he'd see the empty stop after empty stop and wish that it could be otherwise.
Finally, they were let out and Javert waited semi-patiently for each and every person in front of him that were not even remotely in a hurry to finish slowly gathering their things and leaving the plane before disembarking himself. Fortunately, as a British citizen he didn't need to fill out a landing card and they could walk past all those people who did.
Javert did not like Heathrow since it was an airport but the fact that his luggage was ready for him when he made his way up to the baggage claim area and they had free trolleys to transport the bags cemented it as at least better than the other two airports he had been to.
Once they made it to the tube, they ignored some foreign teenagers giggling about the train arrival sign that said the next train was going to be heading to Cockfosters in five minutes and got on. This was the first stop so there were plenty of seats for everybody and Javert made a note to watch for when the train got more crowded in case Valjean decided to surrender his seat again. It was his choice, of course, but it never failed to annoy Javert for some reason.
"Well?" Valjean asked once they were clear of the airport. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Javert fixed him with a disbelieving look. "I am never going near another airport again. I'll swim first."