Angsty one-shot I came up with while reading other angsty fics.
Grammatical mistakes are intentional.
she could feel the coarse dirt and stone beneath her bare feet as much as she could feel the cold wind whipping through her tangled, blond hair and grabbing at her thin t-shirt. rain poured from the gray sky and soaked her to the bone, but she only stared at the ground in front of her.
three roses were clutched in her grasp, thorns digging into her palm. she didn't loosen her grip, even when she could feel warm, sticky blood trailing down her hand, mingling with the icy water pelting down from above.
she bit her lip, choking back a sob.
what was the point to it all?
was there even a point?
was the universe just trying to tell her that things couldn't always end up right, in the cruelest of ways?
she remembered. she remembered almost too clearly...
him, the man she'd idolized the way other children idolized celebrities, and who she didn't think could be more proud of her at times.
his kind green eyes, the way they lit up when he saw her.
his voice, deep and mingling with her own, before she'd cover her own mouth because she was interrupting him - again.
his lips, curved in the small half-smile he wore all the time, or the grin he displayed when he was around one he loved.
her, who she adored to the moon and back and who adored her just as much - if not more.
whose gray orbs rolled the same way her own did when he said or did something stupid or cheesy.
whose voice was like soft silk and ice cream and the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard all at the same time.
whose lips were forever chapped and curved upward, out of place on her goddess-like body, but suited her personality more than the porcelain doll she pretended to be did.
him, the boy she'd never known but loved all the same.
his sightless gray eyes, like hers and hers, but unlike theirs in every way.
his never-heard voice, which would have been like hers at first, smooth but rough, and then like his, deep and filled with unspoken emotions.
his soft lips, plump and round and pinkish-red and parted just a tiny bit in a cute, endearing way.
...she doubted she'd ever forget. she knew she'd never forget.
~she recalled the first time came rushing through the door angrily, yelling about something or other involving how stupid her swimming coach was. he'd offered her a pat on the back and told her that not all people could be as awesome as they were. she'd laughed that light, tinkling laugh of hers, and told her that nothing was perfect in the world they lived in. he hadn't been around then.~
~and the time she had tried to climb to the top of the rock wall they had in their huge backyard without help and ended up breaking three fingers and her entire right leg. he'd been there to comfort her while she rushed to get help. they both sat by her side when she was getting her cast and wheelchair, telling her it was going to be alright. and with them, it had been.~
she fell to her knees, the bare skin splitting on contact with the jagged pebbles beneath her. the flowers fluttered out of her hands and she buried her face in her hands, the rain washing away the blood.
she moaned out a feeble why?, but there was no answer.
there never was anymore.
a sharp pain stabbed through her chest, as if someone had driven a railroad spike right through her heart.
a burning sensation spread through her body.
a scream of anger and agony and love and hurt and unspoken words tore through her throat.
wiping her face, she gathered the flowers, careful not to touch her stinging cuts. she placed each one an equal distance from each of the three polished marbles in front of her.
one was black, one was white, and the last, the smallest, gray. a statue of a family of five stood behind the three.
another shout made its way out of her. she yelled out why? again.
the only response was a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder. she smiled painfully, reaching out one hand to trace the words on the black marble, before collapsing on the ground before the white.
she whispered an i love you so quiet she wasn't sure if she'd even said it out loud, but a just-as-soft i miss you followed it anyways.
in the back of her mind, she wondered why no one had found her yet. she'd screamed several times already.
i'm so sorry.
the thought burst forth, eliminating all other thoughts or emotions.
i should've been there.
it was an argument. it was always an argument, wasn't it? even in those movies, the tragic romantic movies that she enjoyed for some reason, there was always a quarrel that led to something else.
and there was one.
she punched the ground. if only they hadn't had a dispute. if only she'd been sensible and listened. if only she'd been there to help.
if, if, if. she hated ifs.
she stood up, still not letting herself cry. who knew if she'd ever see them again? she didn't believe in a place after life. she knew her grandparents were polytheists, and so were they.
she'd never made up her mind.
but she could hope - she could always hope. if there was a chance that she could see them again, she'd take it without a doubt. no matter what the consequences were.
she laughed, trying and failing to get some of the mud off of her shorts. she'd always been a messy griever... in her own way.
picking up the previously discarded jacket from the ground and slipping it on, only making her more wet, she turned to leave.
and then she stopped.
this was the umpteenth time she'd come here, and she still didn't feel closure.
maybe...
"I love you," she said aloud, voice cracking. "And I miss you all so, so much."
like what she'd whispered before.
"I'll make you even more proud of me, Dad," she smiled, turning around to face the graves again. she winced as a leaf in the wind brushed up against the torn skin on her knees, but ignored it otherwise. "I'm gonna be just like you. Great Olympic champ Percy Jackson. And you, Mom. Child prodigy Annabeth Chase." she laughed again. "Designed what people are calling the 'next Parthenon' here in California, it's gonna last so long." quieter, she added, "Just wish you were here with me to celebrate."
she paused, staring at the last stone. she debated what to say.
"Um..." she trailed off. feeling awkward, she cleared her throat, though there was no one around to hear it. she felt foolish, but kept on talking anways. "Tyler misses you guys too. He says..."
she rambled on and on for an eternity and a day.
"...so I'm just here to say bye. I'm sticking around until Tyler's off to college, but then I'm splitting for New York." she smiled painfully again. "Just like you wanted, Mom."
there was a sensation like a thousand elephants sitting on her chest. she struggled to breathe.
"I'll be back," she choked out, looking at the first, black stone.
Perseus "Percy" Neptune Jackson
August 18, 1993 - March 19, 2026
A loving father and husband behind all the fame
Always in our thoughts
"I promise," she gasped. her eyes landed on the white marble.
Annabeth Minerva Chase
July 12, 1993 - March 19, 2026
A caring mother, wife, or friend to all that knew her
Forever in our hearts
despite her brain's protests, her stormy gray orbs drifted to the last, bleak gray marble headstone. "This is not the last time," she spluttered. "Not the last... I'll visit again... someday."
it hurt the most, to love and lose someone you'd never know, more than expected. the funeral had been the worst.
for now, she wasn't going to be back for a while. she needed to distance herself from the pain. besides, she had a brother to take care of and grandparents to support. she wasn't lost anymore. she knew what she was going to do and aimed to make things go her way.
but as she walked away, the image of the last headstone burned a hole through her mind.
Nathaniel Ocean Chase-Jackson
October 4, 2021
Never known but deeply loved
Um, yeah.
Well... that turned out... different than I wanted it too. It was very dramatic in the beginning. It was going to be more angsty, but I was listening to upbeat music, and, well... yeah.
I don't blame you if you're confused. I probably would be too... but this is what my sleep-deprived, math-overloaded teenaged brain came up with. Yep.
Sort of homage to a dear friend had brothers born today, one stillborn.
R&R! :)
~Thalia # waffles