Author's Note: I used to love, love, love The Fairly OddParents. The original, y'know? Back when Wanda nagged about her boys (Cosmo and Timmy), but it was endearing. Cosmo wasn't as air-headed and could actually think a little for himself. Timmy wasn't as full-blown destructive. The other kids in his class (i.e. Remy and Tootie) had more of a reoccurring role. Speaking of reoccurring roles, where are Cupid and Juandissimo? Also, now Foop basically replaced Anti-Cosmo and made the evil plans all goofy. What the hell? Apparently, in the years I've stopped watching, Timmy's dad and Vicky discover the fairies but Timmy still has them. Vicky's got an anti-godparent. She's sixteen. Also, Timmy had and lost a dog. Like, Zippy or some other lame name. And now, thanks to this little boy I babysit, I've found out the creators have changed the theme song entirely and added a new character. There's this little girl named Chloe who shares godparents with Timmy. So now, Cosmo and Wanda basically act in as parents for godkids Timmy and Chloe, as well as their actual son Poof. Plus, I've heard Poof's new voice. Not. A. Fan. Okay, so thank you for sticking by while I rant. Also, if anyone knows that hip-hop song thing on YouTube where someone is singing about 'the only high we used to get is swinging to the top' or something like that. let me know what to search. It's about childhood, imagination, or something. I found it once when I wasn't on my Google account and now I've lost it. Help? Alright, so this will have Chloe later but it'll be in a different way and she'll be older. Also Poof will talk later, but not in that annoyingly stereotypical accent that makes me want to bash his teeth in if he weren't a baby fairy. Fairies age differently, anyway. Bear with me on this, huh?

Disclaimer: Butch Hartman owns the characters and I'm just toying with them.

Warning(s): A lot of swearing; somewhat OOC; pretty canon up till I stopped watching the show *

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"Timmy, Poof, wake up for school!" Wanda's motherly voice calls from above the bed.

"Aw, I had to go there yesterday." Timmy grumbles but kicks the covers off nonetheless.

"Poof, poof!" The infant agrees.

Timmy is twelve-years-old, in seventh grade. Somehow, there has been a severe teacher shortage, so Mr. Crocker has taken over as fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth grade teacher positions. Apparently he's in love with his job, and Da Rules can't get him removed. The sociopathic teacher still tries to catch Timmy in a lie about fairies, but Timmy's grown smarter over the years. AJ was able to skip middle school and head right into high school from fifth. He doesn't talk to any of his old friends anymore, aside from Chester, since the two are still enamored in the hot action 'toon Crash Nebula.

Trixie isn't the most popular girl in school anymore. She's actually more of a geek. Her hair is cut short, she wears a ball cap over the top part of her face, and she reads a lot of comics - comics that even Timmy aren't' into anymore. Tad and Chad are still pompous assholes, and Remy is less of one. He still has Juandissimo around to help, but his godparent is more often than not accompanied by Cupid. It is quite obvious Cupid detests Remy, but so far the kid is still alive. Remy and Juandissimo, however, have learned the lesson that Cupid needs coffee to function in the morning, or it is literally a nightmare.

Tootie isn't a total geek anymore. She isn't homeschooled, either, putting her in Timmy's grade level. She still wears her stylish glasses, but her braces have come off. She wears a checkered shirt similar to her previous skirt, but wears black pants. She doesn't have a stalker-type crush on him like Veronica has made obvious, but she still loves him. Sanjay also loves Timmy, letting hugs always linger for far too long. Elmer's boil is very large, almost drooping off the side of his face. It is honestly starting to scare some of the school population. Vicky is eighteen, a senior in high school. She has a lot more important things to worry about that tormenting Timmy and Tootie.

The school bell rings, and Timmy is sitting in the second row, sandwiched between clingy Sanjay and best friend Chester. Veronica sits in back, throwing spitwads at the back of Timmy's head. Elmer and Remy are also in back, disinterested in the obviously phony history lesson. As usual, Crocker has no idea what he's teaching. As a hot pink eraser, a green pencil sharpener, a purple scent pen, and a bright pink thumbtack, the four fairy godparents start up a whispered conversation below the back window, in the shadows.

"Remy, the boy is going to fail." Juan pipes up from Cosmo and Wanda's simple banter about just who Timmy'll start dating.

"Why would he fail?" Wanda asks gently.

"He's an idiot." Cupid frowns.

"I doubt that." Wanda frowns then.

"He still acts nine because that's how old his parents think he is."

"That's. not healthy."

"You know what is healthy?" Cosmo asks with a smile. "Cleaning your ear with a cheese noodle!"

Juandissimo makes a disgusted face and Cupid gags a little. Wanda smiles slightly; assuring Cosmo that what he said is valid. The conversation takes on weird angles throughout the day. At lunch, Timmy and Remy head to the dumpsters. Mark is in his disguised human form, and the fairies can come out of hiding.

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"Timmy, Poof, wake up for school!" Wanda's motherly voice calls from above the bed.

"Ah, man, Wanda." Timmy groans, swinging his legs out.

"No, mama, sleep." Poof agrees in his soft child's voice.

Timmy is thirteen, in eighth grade. Poof is now out of his infantile orb state. He looks like an actual toddler and speaks like one as well. Timmy's hairstyle still looks like a brunet Cosmo, but he recently started adding red flame tips. He sniffs around his closet, grabbing a pink-and-white top and jeans that smell clean. He grabs his trusty pink ball cap and leaves the room to brush his teeth.

Suddenly, a dark aircraft crashes into Timmy's bedroom. Cosmo drops into his fishbowl, while Wanda simply shoots up to the ceiling. The engine stalls and the top sets back like a human's convertible. The driver cackles at the sight.

"My, my, Wanda. Quite the one for surprises, aren't you?"

"Anti-Cosmo." She growls. "What're you doing here?"

He sighs, fanged grin disappearing suddenly. "Anti-Wanda signed us up for carpool duty unfortunately."

"I wahnted te be wif ma baby some mores!" The woman in the passenger seat speaks up, eating a sandwich with her teeth.

"Yes." Foop growls from the back seat. "Father warned me not to hurt my counterpart, so if Poof would just HURRY THE HELL UP!?"

Anti-Cosmo nonchalantly flicks his wrist back. Foop is flattened by his carseat and then returned to normal frame. Deliriously, he manages a glare to his father. Anti-Cosmo scowls but doesn't do anything else.

"Apologies." Foop mutters. "Tell Poof to hurry, would you?"

Wanda is at a loss for words. Cosmo is still in the fishbowl and Timmy is still getting ready - pretty used to weird noises heard with his back turned. Anti-Wanda continues to eat her sandwich. Wanda sighs and summons Poof over. As Poof waves to his mother and climbs in back, Wanda catches Anti-Cosmo's attention.

"If anything happens to Poof,"

"Then the same fate happens for Foop." Anti-Cosmo interrupts with an eye roll. "I'm an anti, Wanda, but thanks to you and Timothy, I'm also a father. I'm not going to kill my son because of some petty distaste I have for the lot of you."

With that, Anti-Cosmo shoots out of Dimmsdale. Wanda is dumbfounded, glancing over to Cosmo. Her husband is busying himself with his nickel again, so it's likely he missed the entire transaction. Juandissimo, Cupid and Remy show up just then.

"The little brat gone off to Spellementary?" Cupid growls unintentionally.

"Uh, his carpool came." Wanda answers dismissively.

At school, Crocker tells the students that they won't have to worry about him being their eighth grade teacher much longer. After a few suspicious cheers, he adds the reasoning. It appears that he's been granted the opportunity to teach in the high school next year. The kids groan loudly, like music to his ears. He throws a few pop quizzes and eventually, it is time for lunch. Timmy and Remy head to the dumpsters. Remy isn't so much of a stuck-up kid anymore. With the Dinklebergs moving, Remy has already made a wish to come true when it happens.

After school, Timmy and Remy play video games until mom and dad usually arrive. Remy disappears with the help of his godparents. Supper comes and goes, but Timmy's parents are nowhere to be found. This goes on for two more days, and Timmy is very scared. He won't admit it, but he is worried about his parents. It's a Saturday, so Remy and Chester are over. Around noon, Chester has to leave to help his dad in the junkyard. The fairies appear when Chester leaves.

"Cosmo, Wanda, I wish my parents were here."

"Wait, really?" Juandissimo raises an eyebrow. "You want your madre y padre here?"

Timmy glares at him. "They're missing, so yeah, I want them here."

There is something wrong with the wish as Cosmo and Wanda's wands droop.

"Uh, Sport?" She sounds unsure. "It seems your parents have disappeared?"

"What?"

"Let me see that." Cupid swipes it away, reading the coordinates. "Weird. Your parents have just dropped off the grid. They've vanished, like they've never existed." He pauses with a glare shared for Timmy and Remy. "Almost like a rogue wish."

"I didn't wish my parents to be gone!" Timmy shouts, hurt by the accusation.

"Whoa, I didn't either." Remy waves his hands.

"TIMMY TURNER!" A booming voice is head as a flash occurs. In an instant, the six are no longer in Timmy's bedroom, but rather in Fairy Court.

Wanda slyly raises her wand, poofing her sleeping son from inside the fishbowl castle to Mama Cosma's house. They've started getting along better lately.

"YOUR PARENTS HAVE VANISHED OFF THE GRID. IT SEEMS TO BE MAGICAL, SINCE WE CANNOT FIND THEM." He pauses to read off a notecard. "DID YOU WISH YOUR PARENTS GONE?"

"No!" Timmy stamps his foot. "Why does everyone ask that?"

"REMY BUXAPLENTY. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH TURNER'S MISSING PARENTS?"

"No, I do not." He answers calmly, though his expression shows he is offended.

"TIMMY TURNER. YOUR EXCUSE OVER THE YEARS HAS BEEN. FROM THE INTERNET. IS THIS CORRECT?"

"Doi."

"THEN YOU WILL HAVE NEW PARENTS. YOUR EXCUSE WILL BE." Tooth Fairy flies up to whisper in his ear. "YOU WON A SPA VACATION FOR YOUR PARENTS FROM THE INTERNET. WHEN THEY 'RETURN' THAT IS THE REASON FOR THEIR CHANGED APPEARANCE. UNDERSTOOD?"

"Wait, you can't bring me back my parents?"

"I AM GIVING YOU NEW PARENTS, TURNER. DON'T GET GREDY."

"What, what do they look like?"

"TALL AS YOUR ORIGINAL PARENTS. PINK HAIR, GREEN HAIR."

"Wait, Cosmo and Wanda?" He picks up on the similarities quick. "My fairy godparents are going to be my parents parents?"

Nearly satisfied with the outcome, Cupid deadpans. "So they're losing their magic?"

Cosmo and Wanda clench their wands and Timmy blanches. Cupid finds the scene rather hysterical, but he suppresses all but a smug grin. Juandissimo and Remy look panicked slightly. Jorgen slams the giant wand down.

"NO, THEY'LL TRANSFORM INTO HUMAN FORMS. THEY'LL STILL REGAIN THEIR MAGIC WHEN THEY ARE ALONE AND TURN BACK INTO FAIRIES. DO WE HAVE A DEAL, TURNER? BUXAPLENTY?"

"Sounds good." Timmy sighs, still upset that his real parents are gone.

"Sure." Remy agrees.

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It takes some time to get used to it. Wanda helps Poof turn human as well. Soon enough, the Dinklebergs move. All at once, Remy moves in with his human dads. Juandissimo and Cupid are in human adult form as they help Remy run away from home. The excuse works with nearly everything in the town. Poof takes on a human toddler form, though he still poof back to fairy form to attend Spellementary. Not long after, Timmy's neighborhood gains a new 'member'.

"Hi." The blonde teen knocks on Remy's door. "I moved in across the street. Sorta."

"Uhh."

"Remy, where are your manners?" The Spanish father steps up. "I am Juandissimo, Remy's gah-father. Darling?"

Scowling, a pink-haired man reaches the door. His arms are crossed. "Who's the kid?"

"I'm Chloe." She answers matter-of-factly. "I just moved in across the street and I thought I'd let the neighborhood know."

"Only people's gonna give two shits is this one and the brat next door." The pink-haired man deadpans and walks away.

Juandissimo's eyes widen and he blushes slightly. "I am sorry, Miss Chloe. Cupido isn't himself before he has his"

"Juandissimo! Where the hell is my coffee!?" Cupid cuts him off, screeching from the kitchen.

Juan flinches with a smile. "Coming, my sweet!"

Remy's face is flushed. "Parents, huh?"

Her eyes are suddenly downcast and he doesn't know what to do. He touches her arm, nudging her to walk with him next door. They walk the short distance in silence and Remy presses the doorbell. In seconds, a frazzled and pink-haired woman answers.

"Remy, what are. who's this?"

"Wanda, meet Chloe. She just moved in across the street."

"Nice to meet you, dear."

A crash is heard, followed by a cry for help. Wanda sighs, shaking her head. "The boys are upstairs." She lets them inside and then runs to the back. "Cosmo!"

"Hey, Remy." Timmy doesn't look up as he keeps playing his video game. Grab a controller and pull up a beanbag.

"New girl." Poof toddles over.

"A baby!" She squeals.

In an instant, Chloe scoops up Poof and strongly sniffs the top of his head. The video game is paused as Poof giggles and the other boys stare at her strangely. She smiles sheepishly, setting the toddler back on the floor.

"Sorry. I just love the smell of baby's heads."

"O. Kay." Timmy takes a step back.

"Timmy, this is Chloe. She just moved in across the street."

"Aren't those houses being demolished?" Timmy asks.

"Um. well." Chloe shifts.

"TIMMY TURNER! REXY BUXAPLENTY!"

Jorgen immediately brings Timmy, Remy, Poof and Chloe to Fairy Court. He also poofs up Cosmo and Wanda, and Juan and Cupid. Cupid is now drinking his coffee but warily eying Juandissimo.

"I SEE YOU HAVE MET CHLOE CARMICHAEL. SHE IS A NEW GODCHILD. TIMMY TURNER, YOU HAVE A BROTHER AND TWO PARENTS, CORRECT?"

"Yes." He answers, wondering where this is going.

"REMY BUXAPLENTY, YOU HAVE NO SIBLINGS AND TWO PARENTS, CORRECT?"

"Well they aren't married."

"Little shit." Cupid mutters into his coffee mug.

"WHY ARE NOT THE TWO OF YOU MARRIED?"

Cupid waves a love arrow around. He causes a wedding ring to appear on his and Juandissimo's third left fingers. He brings up a marriage document and takes another sip of his coffee. "There. We're married."

Everyone looks over to him but says nothing. Attention is soon back to Jorgen. Except Juandissimo. He's staring at his new wedding ring.

"JUANDISSIMO AND CUPID, YOU WILL TAKE ON THE PARENTING ROLES TO CHLOE AS WELL. CHLOE CARMICHAEL, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"Yep!" She salutes him with a toothy grin.

Back in Timmy's bedroom, Cupid and Juandissimo drop into their fairy forms. In unison, they carry out the mandatory performance. They plaster grins on their faces. Juan holds out his wand and Cupid holds out his love arrows.

"Chloe Carmichael!"

"I'm Juandissimo!"

"And I'm Cupid!"

"And we're, your fairy godparents!"

With the fanfare over, the two transform back to their human adult forms.

"As well as your human parents." Juandissimo shrugs, sitting down on the bed.

"Wanna race?"

Timmy hands an extra controller out. Remy and Poof are already sitting down with controllers ready. She grins and takes the controller, taking a seat beside her new brother.

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A/N: Much more drama will occur in the following chapters. I rather like how this turned out. If you have any comments on it, let me know. The alternate title for this fanfic is "A Not-So Average Teen That No One Understands." If you like that one better, let me know and I'll change it.