"What time are you picking me up, Finn?" asks Rachel, curling her eyelashes with her phone on speaker. She's been looking forward to their 4 month anniversary since, well, they became "official". She's hoping he has something really special ready for her...he said a few weeks ago that he was planning something for today.
"What? I can't pick you up, Ray. I have a lot of homework and Beiste said I needed to gain muscle if I want to stay on the team..."
The eyelash curler clatters against the sink. She stares at her perfectly blushed, moisturized face in dismay.
"You there?"
"Yes. See you tomorrow, then."
"Love you," he says. He holds no more joy in those words than the freshman who reads off the morning announcements.
"You too. Bye," she says in an uncharacteristically dull voice.
Rachel lies under her covers, listening to All By Myself on repeat until her cell pings with a new text message. She grabs it, praying it's Finn's heartfelt apology...
"party at my place, asap. Byob. Be there or be circular.-it's britney, bitch"
Just because Finn isn't going celebrate their anniversary doesn't mean she can't.
"Noah, please..." says a certain tiny brunette in a Britney Catholic school girl getup... "I want you."
Her eyes are wide and serious, and she is sitting in his lap, turned to face him.
"I know you do, babe," he says, tracing the side of her face down to her jawline with his first finger, "but you're gonna have to wait just a bit longer..."
She shivers and tugs at one of her skinny schoolgirl braids, slipping it near her juicily pink lips.
"Please..." she whispers softly, desparately, "I feel so...untouched right now."
"Are you saying you want me to touch you?"
"Yes."
"You have to touch me first."
"Oh..."
She fully swings around and straddles him, then puts both of her hands onto his chest and pushes him until he's lying down. Gently, she rests her forehead against his. The moment is so taut with tension it's ridiculous.
"HIT ME BABY ONE MORE-"
Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.
Awoken from his rather pleasant nap, Puck rolls over and opens his cell to the same message.
Perfect. This is just what he needs to get his mind off of...stuff.
Before Rachel even knocks, Brittany opens the door.
"You came!" she shrieks, clearly already buzzed.
"I did," says Rachel, "thank you so much for inviting-"
Brittany stumbles down the front steps, throws her arms around the pretty lead singer whose name she can't quite recall right now, and gives her a big, sloppy kiss on the mouth.
Rachel, eyes wide, tries to push her off. Santana, strangely dressed in jeans and a plain t-shirt, her hair down around her face, comes to her rescue. She gently pulls Brittany off and mouths, "Sorry about that." Santana and Rachel seem to have an understanding. Rachel doesn't really understand why simply wearing an outfit means she's worth acknowledgment to the pretty Latina, but she's grateful for it. With a strange tenderness, Santana puts her arms around the shoulders of the intoxicated girl and helps her up the stairs.
Rachel heads straight for the booze in back and fixes herself a rum and coke. She takes a dainty sip just as Puck enters.
"You drink like a girl."
"I am a girl, Puck, in case you haven't noticed."
"Trust me, I wouldn't have gone out with you if I hadn't," he says, grabbing a plastic red cup and filling it with Daniels and Coke.
"Well, you certainly didn't seem to notice when I was dressed...differently."
He was the only guy who hadn't, actually. That bothered her more than she'd ever admit...except she sort of just did. But really, even freaking ARTIE reacted, and he was completely besotted with Tina. So explaining to herself that Puck hadn't noticed because he was still in love with Quinn hadn't really worked.
Puck cleared his throat and took a rather generous sip. Was he...blushing? No, it must've been a trick of the light. Or something.
"Right...your boyfriend wouldn't have gone TOO homicidal or anything..."
Rachel giggles despite herself. Puck feels a glowing sort of pride at the fact that he made her laugh.
"Speaking of...where is he? I figured he'd sweep in with his White Knight act about five seconds ago."
Her face falls a little, and she says, "I don't know where he is."
"Hey...Rachel..." he reaches over the granite island and puts a hand on her shoulder, "if you need to talk..."
Wait. Did he just offer to talk? What hell is wrong with him? He's not a girl, for chrissakes.
She shakes her head adamantly.
"I came here to have fun," she says.
"Fair enough," he says, retracting his hand.
"Hey. You still think I drink like a girl?"
"Of course."
She smiles, steals his drink, and drinks nearly half of it in one swallow.
She laughs at his saucer-like eyes.
"How did- what- I don't- How did you do that?"
To compensate, Puck takes an equally big sip of her drink….
"No gag reflex," she says simply.
…only to choke and spew it over the island in laughter.
"Noah!" she squeals, jumping away, "Oh my God! Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm great," he says, turning around to get paper towels, still chuckling.
"What's so funny?" she demands.
"Nothing, nothing at all…"
She sits back down as he wipes up the mess, brow furrowed. Suddenly, realization colors her cheeks and she covers her face with her hands. She jumps up and turns around with a little wail.
"Hey, it's okay…come back here."
She sits back down across from him and sets her right elbow down, letting part of the corresponding hand cover her mouth.
"I'm so embarrassed…"
"It's fine, Berry."
"God, I'm such an idiot."
"You know what, I actually find your innocence kind of…cute."
Her hand drops from her mouth and she bites her bottom lip. Why is every little thing she does sexy as hell?
"You think I'm cute?"
"What? No," he says, scowling.
"You think I'm cute."
"I didn't say that…"
"You so did!" she crows.
"Get out here, losers!" screams Brittany.
Rachel shrugs.
"Shall we?"