FISHIE'S CLICHÉ
(A/N: I mean no offense in any way to Nsync fans, Nsync, certain fan fic authors, mental institution patients, or anyone else who may be offended. I wrote this in the middle of the night after listening to *gag* my sister's Nsync CD and drinking 2 cans of Dr. Pepper.)
*Fishie wakes up in the middle of the night with a sudden urge to write a self-insertion fic. She has no idea why. She stuffs a few pillows under her quilt and sneaks to the computer room. She sits down at her monitor and begins to type furiously. Fishie realizes the computer is not on and cocks an eyebrow at the blank screen. She boots up the computer and logs on to a new word document. Fishie picks up her dog Jake (yes my dog's name is really Jake) and thinks for awhile then begins to type. *
My name is Fishie.
That's not my real name, duh.
I can't tell you my real name.
I don't know why
I'm not an Animorph
I don't know the Animorphs
But I still can't tell you my real name
My mommy said so.
*Fishie pauses and reads through her fic. It sounded pretty good. She continues to type. *
There are creatures out there
The Bad Fan Fic Authors Control Center
They're out to get me
The BFFACC are going to lock me up
Oh yeah, the Yeerks are out there too,
But they aren't my problem
Yet.
*Fishie's mom comes downstairs. "What have I told you about writing self-insertion fics?!" she yells.
Fishie thinks for a moment. "Ummm…" Her mom sighs. "You are going to have to be punished. I'm sending you to…The Bad Fan Fic Authors Control Center."
Fishie screams.
"Shhhh! You're going to wake up your brother and sister! Here," Fishie's mom hands her a bag. "You'd better pack your stuff, you're staying for a week."
Fishie looks at the small cloth bag. She sticks her hand in. Her entire arm fits in the bag that looks like you couldn't fit a shoe in.
"Cool!"
"Keep your hand out of there," her mom warned.
Fishie went to her room and began to pack her pet rock Spot, her CDs, her Animorphs books, Sanctuary newsletters, Backstreet Boys stuff, clock autographed by her idols ~Utahraptor~;), Steve-o, and Tobiasrulz, and everything else. She was just stuffing her bed in when the BFFACC officials ran in and dragged her away.
The BFFACC officials drove Fishie to the institution for the mentally deranged bad fan fic authors control center and locked her in a padded room. After bouncing off of the walls for a while, Fishie unpacked her belongings. She finished unpacking and peered into the bag, wondering if she can fit. She is climbing in the bag when it suddenly sucks her into a world of darkness. *
Fishie woke up to see six faces staring at her.
"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!" shrieked Fishie.
"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!" shrieked the strangers.
"Who are you?" asked Fishie. The strangers exchanged a glance.
"We can't tell you who we are,"
"Or where we're from."
"It's too…"
"Oh!" cried Fishie. "You're the Animorphs!"
"Are you a controller?" Rachel demanded.
"I hope not," said Fishie.
"What's your name?" asked Jake.
"Fishie," said Fishie.
"Your real name," said Jake impatiently.
"I can't tell you who I am. Or where…"
"JUST TELL ME YOUR NAME!" Jake yelled.
"My name is Lauren," admitted Fishie.
Tobias's eyes widened. "Mommy?" he asked. He jumped on Fishie.
"No you idiot, Lauren, not Loren! Do I look like your mother?!"
"Um…I guess not." Tobias slid off of Fishie.
"How did you get here?" Marco asked.
"Ummm….you aren't going to believe me, but I was sucked up by a bag and I landed here."
"Ohhh, the BFFACC portal to the story being written bag," mused Cassie. "I've heard of that. It doesn't happen a lot though."
"It's because I'm a fan fic writer!"
The Animorphs gasp.
"And now, I'm going to use my omnipotent fan fic writers powers!"
Fishie points at a can of Dr. Pepper, willing it to float to her. Nothing happens.
"What the…why don't my powers work?"
"Because you can only obtain the omnipotent fan fic powers from Steve-o!" yells Tobias.
"Plus," Marco adds. "You only write stupid poems, not fan fic."
"My poems are not stupid!" scoffs Fishie.
"Really? Then how come no one ever reviews them?"
Fishie lunges at Marco but is suddenly sucked back into the Mental Institution.
Fishie looks around and shrugs. She lays back on her bed and yanks a laptop from under it. As she is checking out some cool poems by ShannonL, she gets a funny feeling and looks up. Floating in front of her is a can of Dr. Pepper.
Fishie screams.
(Love it? Hate it? Think I suck? Tell me in the reviews!)
(A/N: after reading that, do you think I should write more or stick with poetry? Tell me!)