DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, any of it's characters, names or places, as they all belong to the amazing mastermind known as JKRowling.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Love Shack, or the B52s either.


The sound of a hundred or more untrained voices warming up filled the Great Hall. Some sang scales; some repeated tongue twisters; some just sang loud, out-of-tune songs at full belt. Students stood in small clusters, talking nervously and swapping singing tips. But one group stood out from the crowd most: a fairly small group of boys crowded around one individual with fair hair and a wide grin.

"…And Father tried to buy me a place in this musical, but McGonagall wouldn't let him…" said the fair-haired boy, as he was approached by a girl in Slytherin robes.

"Oh, Draco, you're so talented, you don't need your father to buy you a place!"

"I know, but Father wanted to make sure…did you know there's a talent spotter coming all the way from Durmstrang just to see whoever gets the lead role. I've heard they value Performing Arts very highly over there…"

Another group of pupils sniggered as they eavesdropped on the Slytherins' conversation.

"Someone's obviously looking for a good part!" commented a bushy-haired 6th year girl.

"No, he probably just wants to get moved to Durmstrang. But imagine them doing 'Performing Arts' in their big furry coats!" replied her friend, a boy with jet-black hair and a strangely shaped scar on his forehead.

"Yeah, especially dance!" laughed his best friend, a tall gangly boy with freckles and red hair, and the three of them collapsed into fits of laughter.

There was a loud 'BANG' as Prof. McGonagall set off red sparks to gather everybody's attention.

"Right, students, the auditions for our Hogwarts Musical will begin shortly. Now, I will run through a few rules for the auditions:

All students who audition must be fully committed to the musical and come to every rehearsal.

No student is to apply under a false identity.

Auditionees must sing a song of their own composition, although they may use the melody or rhythm of a well-known song (magical or muggle) if the original name and artist of the song is stated at the start of the audition.

No student under the age of 14 may enter the auditions.

Potions, charms, hexes and spells used to enhance vocal talent are banned. Any student caught using one will have one week's detention and be banned from this and any future school show or play.

That is all for now. If you have any questions do not hesitate to ask me or another member of staff involved. Meanwhile, please form an orderly line at the door to the antechamber before your audition."

Everyone in the Great Hall either rushed to the door that led to the audition room or left, on account of being to young. Harry and Ron, the laughing 6th years, were surprised to see their bushy-headed friend making for the exit.

"Hermione!" Ron yelled over the cacophony of noises. "Hermione! Where're you going? Hermione!" She turned round and tried to walk back towards them, but to no avail. The crowd pushing their way out the door was too strong, and Hermione was swept out the door with the rest of them, unable to explain her sudden exit.

"Oh well, we can catch up with her in the Common Room later," said Harry. "Come on, we don't want to be last to audition! They'll be so bored of hearing everyone's songs; they'll have gone to sleep!"

"Good job! I'm not so sure about all this singing now," commented Ron.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. Hey, I know, why don't we audition together?"

"Erm…we can always ask, I suppose," He was silent for a while as he thought. "But Harry…what will we sing?"

"Can you remember the song I was singing last night?"

"I think so…okay we'll do that one. But what about actions or something? I've heard some Hufflepuff girls are doing a whole song-and-dance routine."

"Just follow my lead, and don't panic if you go wrong. Look, there's only a few people left to go before us!"

"Eek. Okay, hey, who do you think is on the panel of judges?"

"Probably Dumbledore, and each Head of House. Oh no. That means Snape!"

They stood in silence for a few minutes, each worried about separate things; Ron worried about the actions; Harry worried about making a fool of himself in front of Snape.

Harry opened his mouth to speak when suddenly…

Ring-a-ling-ling!

…The bell rang for them to enter. Harry had been right – Dumbledore and the House Heads were sitting at a long table, each with a clipboard.

"Names?" asked Prof. Flitwick.

"It's Potter and Weasley," sneered Snape. "Here to do a double act, eh? This should be very amusing"

"Be quiet, Severus, and let them sing. Now, boys, what is the name of your song?" asked Prof. Sprout.

"We will be singing a song called Hogwarts, but we are using the tune from a Muggle song called Love Shack, by the B52s. Ready Ron? One…Two…One Two Three HIT IT!

Hogwarts, baby,

Hogwarts!

Hogwarts, baby,

Hogwarts!

Hogwarts, is a little castle where,

People teach us magi-iick!

Hogwarts, ye-ah yeah!

Hogwarts baby!"

During the song, Harry and Ron had done many step-turn-step-CLAPs, hand jives and other clichéd dance moves. At some point towards the end, Prof. Flitwick joined in, but stopped abruptly when his colleagues turned to stare at him. Harry was slightly miffed at this; they missed his big ending: a large jump into the air, before landing on his knees and doing jazz hands. Ron, who was always slightly behind with the dance moves, jumped up but fell over on the way back down. Snape snorted and put a big zero on his mark sheet, and that infuriated Ron so much, he jumped right up with the cheesiest smile and did jazz hands all the way out the door.

"God, I hate that man!" He punched the wall on the way back to the corridor. "So, what now?"

"Now – we wait," sighed Harry.


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