Disclaimer: Xanth is not mine. I do not own it. But I would like to own a piece of it, so if anyone knows how I can get there, I'd be very much obliged.
Spoiler: Um.... I'll just say Man from Mandania. Yup. No. Wait. The one after that. Yeah! The one you're thinking about right there!
Dedication: Angel of Death. I'm still waiting for Castle Roogna as soon as your Mom is done! ^_^
Notes: I tried. I tried so badly.
^^^^^
Grey had been getting bored. Very bored. Very, very, bored. Very, very, very, bored. Very, very, very, very,.... well, you get the picture. He was pretty bored. The problems outside the castle of Good Magician Humphrey had been keeping people out, and Ivy's Enhancement was keeping him to speed. Should anyone -from wiggle to King Dor- come to the castle, he was covered for the next week. So he had become very, very, very, very, very, bored.
That was when his mind hit on a very intriguing plan. Why not have a game? It had to be a very, very, very, very, very, very interesting game to counteract his very, very, very, very, very, very, very bored attitude. Grey went to sneak out Ivy. When he found her -deep in the middle of a conversation with Humphrey's son- he asked her -after she had hung the mirror up, of course- "Ivy, has there ever been a Beauty Contest here in Xanth? I bet it would be fairly interesting what with all the voluptuous women and females willing to take off their clothes."
"Excuse me!?" Ivy demanded. She appeared to be very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very mad. Or at least quite insulted.
"I think that we should have a Beauty Contest."
She rolled her eyes. When she found them again and but them back in her sockets, she glared at Grey. "That would be beside the point. Talents would get in the way. Iris has her Illusion which could turn her into the prettiest woman anyone ever saw, I have my Enhancement I could use for Enhancing my beauty, Millie has Sex Appeal, and if there was an underwear component, all of you males would be frozen because you'd see the colour of our panties! So, there are no Beauty Contests in Xanth. If you're bored, why don't you go catch some Day Z's to help you sleep. Maybe you'll even be lucky enough to find a Daisy dream in one of them."
"More like I'd have to find a Be Lucky to be lucky enough to find a Daisy dream," Grey mumbled.
"What was that honey?"
"Oh, nothing."
"Do you remember the bees? Those buzzing animals that when you get pricked, you be come a Be Liever, or a Be Have? Why not try to find a Be U-T? Then you could prick a female and they would find themselves compelled to participate in the contest, with no magic talents able to participate except for in the talent component of the contest?"
"That will work! Where do I find these bees?" he asked impatiently. At last! Something to take away his boredom! He was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very excited!
"At the Be Hive of course," Ivy cheerfully answered. "There are many of them in Xanth, but none of them have been found and mapped. People keep on Be Coming bees so the Be Hive will never run out of bees. It's a very dangerous mission. Maybe you should take some help. Nada Naga might go with you, she hasn't been written about lately. I'm sure she could use some compenmanship."
"Some what?" He asked, not quite getting the meaning of her words.
"Compenmanship."
"Riiiggghhttt..... This is too much for my too handle right now. Bee Sides, if I take on a quest, then Com Pouter can Com after me because I won't be keeping Humphrey's job for him." Grey left Ivy to return to what he was doing before: nothing.
Ivy smiled and shook her head regretfully. Too bad. Ivy would have been willing to let herself get pricked with a Be U-T, for Grey's sake. After all, she was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much in love with him.