She sat on the floor of the TARDIS, her legs pulled up, her knees tucked under her chin, her arms wrapped tight around herself, her head bowed so that her face was hidden behind a curtain of long dark hair. She rocked herself quietly, like a mother lulls a baby to sleep. But she wasn't trying to fall into blissful slumber, far from it, she was already held in a waking nightmare. This wasn't a dream. This was reality, a new reality, one she hadn't bargained for after saving the Doctor, her Doctor. Saving humanity. Saving everything that was and ever could be.
The Doctor remained at a safe distance, across the console room, watching her with compassionate eyes. He'd barely looked away from her once since it had happened. His attention had strayed only long enough to get them away from that damn place, to get Rose away from the horrors that had gone on there.
Before she could be hurt, before she would die a certain death, he had sent her home. He had wanted her safe. Safe and alive. So he had tricked her into leaving... never thinking that she'd figure out a way back to him. He really hadn't given her enough credit on that score. Maybe he was to blame for what had happened then? If he'd done things differently, if he'd made sure...
He saw her make a sudden movement; her head jerked up and she glared at him with unfamilair green eyes filled with tears. They cut him down, and he looked away. Coward. Every time.
"Not your fault." She said, her cheeks wet with tears, and where once would be streaks of mascara, there were none. He wondered why that seemed to hurt him so much. Her voice was not her voice, not the one he remembered. He tried not to mourn it's loss, but to know that he would never hear it again... he resolved that he would carry his wounds unseen, deep within his hearts.
He looked back at her. "Rose?"
"Not even sure if that's who I am anymore." She glanced up at him, more tears ready to fall from her eyes. "I can feel two hearts." She admitted. "What am I? What did I become Doctor? What do you see when you look at me?" Her tears fell and he moved toward her, falling to his knees and wrapping her into his arms, holding her as she trembled then broke, she sobbed against his shoulder, and he let her cry. He pressed his face into her hair and breathed in the scent of her, not recognising it as Rose, and suddenly feeling a loss so strong he had to bite down on a cry of grief from his own throat. He did not deserve to feel loss, not when Rose had given up so much to save him. He didn't deserve her. She was an angel in his arms, and he was as close to being the devil as he had ever been. He had wanted to save her, instead he had damned her.
"Not your fault." She repeated softly, her tears stopping, her breath slowly returning to an easier pace. "I knew what I was doing."
He shook his head. "You couldn't have known what would happen."
"Thought I'd die I s'pose. But I was prepared for that." She stared at him. "Didn't think about this though. Didn't think I'd... change."
"It's still you." The Doctor tried to reassure her. "You're still Rose Tyler."
She looked at him with a sudden flash of venom in her green eyes. "No I'm not. She's dead. She burned up and went to hell with the Daleks. I'm what's left. The vortex made me up of what was left over . I'm just ash and bone and shadows from a golden light. I'm re born. But I'm not the same. Never will be, never could be. Rose Tyler is dead and gone." She tore her eyes from him. "I don't even know what I am anymore."
"Rose." He said softly, touching her cheek. "Rose."
She turned her face to look at him, and he saw her frightend eyes. He cupped her face in his hands.
"You are Rose. You'll always be Rose Tyler. That's how it works."
He traced her cheek softly then leant in and tasted the salt of her tears and he kissed her eyes as they fluttered closed. He trailed a soft pathway of kisses to her lips and claimed her mouth, sweeping it up in a kiss sweet enough to break a stone heart. She responded quickly, kissing him back until he barely knew sense. But he knew truth. He knew one absolute bright golden truth, that blazed like a star in a black night sky.
She was Rose, always would be Rose. His Rose . Now and forever.