Author's Notes: It's my 'verse, I'm just glad I get to play in it.
Dedicated to the wonderful kitthebrave and her 147 mile fundraising walk for Doctors Without Borders. Check her lj for more info.
Betrayal
She slips into her crumpled clothes almost noiselessly. The last thing she can handle right now is another lie. Not that Mal is likely to wake. If there's one thing Inara knows it's how men sleep after love. No one mentions that part of the job when novices are in training. Women come to her line of work for many reasons; for the glamour, out of desperation, with a desire for fame they have no real talent to earn any other way, out of a need for escape or simply for the money. None of them sign up because they look forward to the tedium of watching others at rest.
Usually she meditates. It serves to purify her mind, if not her body. Not tonight. No amount of prayer will cleanse her of tonight's sins. Besides, she has things to do.
Will Mal believe her if she tells him getting out of his bed was the hardest thing she's ever done? Not that it will matter, not that he'll give her the chance to explain. He'll only remember that she did. He'll only remember to keep her away in the future.
She had made love to him, glorying in his hungry gaze, soaking in his unguarded words; how he was sorry they'd argued so often, that he had wanted her for so long, did she know he was so close to falling in love with her. "Yes," Inara had answered breathlessly. "Yes," she had nodded and kissed him over and over again. Her, too. Oh God, it was all true for her too.
"And now," he had said, afterward, "and now it's better. Now it'll be different for us. I promise you that, 'Nara."
"Hush, Mal," she had whispered, her traitorous heart twisting in her chest. "Hush, now, and sleep."
Inara slides into her soft sandals and finds her hand stretching towards the warm, musky bed. When she leaves, a part of her will forevermore be reaching for him. She knows this. She leaves anyway.
The door closes softly behind her and she hurries back to her shuttle. She has a client to meet.