Hello! A new one shot for the fans of geeky Edward out there. I am trying to get back into the habit of writing again since I have taken a break for so long, I'm not completely satisfied with this story but I have tried so hard so please let me know what you think, I absolutely love hearing from you guys ^-^
"This is not happening" I whispered, letting my head fall back onto my pillow "this is not happening." Creep. How could I let this happen? Stalker. "Edward?" I have ruined everything. Ruined what? She doesn't want you, she didn't know you were alive before and she wished you weren't now "Edward?" BANG BANG "Edward!" She will tell everybody about it, imagine what your parents will think. "Edward, open the door right now" I lifted my head "Go away, Emmett. Please just leave me alone." The banging continued, becoming slightly more muffled as I pulled the duvet cover over my head. Stupid. My glasses pressed into my cheek, I ripped them from my face, letting them fall onto the floor beside my bed. Ugly. I don't know what to do. Don't do anything, stay here.
I ducked my head behind the menu stand, feeling my cheeks burn as I let myself imagine for a second that her eyes paused on me as they lazily took in the room around us. My eyes flickered back to my page, carefully retracing the curve of her smile with the tip of my pencil as she laughed with her friend, he visited her every Thursday during her break without fail. You shouldn't know that. They would sit in the next booth over from me, he always sat with his back to me, allowing me the opportunity to steal glances at her over his shoulder without worry of being caught, she seemed to notice nothing except him. Jealous. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, she was also one the sweetest and as I had come to find out, very bright. Bright enough to stay away from you. She took classes with me at the local college and I had yet to see her struggle with any of the course but she never boasted, often offering to help those around her with an easy smile. I watched from the back of the room as the boys pretended not to understand, in the hopes of spending more time with her. I didn't blame them, she was perfect and light years out of my league, if I even had a league. I knew one of these days, the news would travel to my ears that she was taken, if she was not already, and I hoped on that day, I could still drag my ass out of bed and be content living on the outskirts of her life. I couldn't imagine not seeing her every day, not spending the first few moments of each sighting, noticing every little change that had occurred and there was always something.
She was forever making some little alteration to her appearance, one day she would have a streak of colour or thread and beads running down her hair, the next, her wrists would be covered in silver bangles that jingled together as she moved, she always managed to be beautiful. I felt the corners of my mouth twitch as I imagined her wardrobe, a jumble of band tees, ripped shorts, dresses and her seemingly endless variety of tights. Today, they formed cat ears at her thigh; seeming to match the lace ones in her hair. She never seemed to wear the same style from one day to the next however one thing did remain constant, the length of her headphones traveling from her ears to her hip. Her choice of T-shirts allowed me some insight into the music she liked and I was disturbing enough to check each of them out, imagining casually bringing them up in conversation; in the extremely unlikely situation that this did occur, would probably lead to me throwing up over her. Attractive. Her music taste seemed as diverse as her clothing, listening to anything from Disney to Heavy Metal, never coinciding with what she wore that day either. She made no sense.
"Excuse me? Did you want anything else, honey?" the older waitress looked at me, seeming concerned. Idiot. "I'm sorry" I blushed, quickly clustering up my things "No, thank you, I need to get home." She nodded, bemused as I quickly pushed a few notes towards her. I chanced a quick glance at Isabella, hoping that this wouldn't be the one moment she notices me; a sense of relief and loss fills me as I see her kiss her friend's cheek before disappearing out the door. I hate that I know she will be lacing her roller-skates back on right now and will be making her way back home. You stalk her, of course you would know.
"Here you go, honey" the waitress was back and hands me my change and a milkshake to go, I open my mouth to protest "You look a little peaky, enjoy it." I think she meant to say geeky. I gave her a soft smile and thanked her as I backed away; grabbing my journal, two textbooks and my ipod, deciding to toss them in my bag when the waitress wasn't watching me like a sick child. As I half ran out of the door, I felt my body collide with another's, soft flesh pressed against me causing my belongings to be flung in every direction. I blinked as I noticed it was Isabella cast to the floor… covered in strawberry milkshake.
I struggled to breathe as she looked up at me, confused, her hand reaching up to touch the thick blend of ice cream pathetically clinging to her hair and skin. "I'm so sorry, Isabella" I clenched my teeth as I saw her become more confused. You're not supposed to know her name, dumb ass. I squeezed my eyes tight, hoping it would all go away. Fuck, still here. I can't do this. I can't do this. I leaned down to grab my stuff, she was still staring at me, I suddenly became aware of the laughter around me. I blushed harder, repeating "I'm sorry." yes, you said that, oh King of the Idiots. I wanted to help her but I couldn't touch her. I backed away slowly, taking one last glimpse at her before I ran away. I wouldn't even be allowed to watch her unnoticed now, she would never forget the creep that just left her after knocking her down. Goodbye, Isabella. Idiot.
The next day, I woke up early. Staring up at the ceiling as I recalled every detail from the day before, I groaned, turning to bury my head in my pillow. I need to sketch, lose myself for a few hours; to draw something other than Isabella who has seemed to occupy my every thought since I had first seen her a few months before. I knew it wasn't healthy, my therapist had told me so. He had to tell you that it wasn't healthy to obsess over one girl? I'm not obse… How many times have you drawn her this month, how many notes have you wrote for her, how many conversations have you planned? I pressed my face deeper in the pillow, I just need to stop this, I need to think about something that's not her. I reached for my bag, pulling out the books in confusion. I tipped my bag upside down, hoping by some miracle that my journal would appear in the clearly empty space. Please God no.
I nervously made my way through the door, ducking my head, trying to blend in with the group of teenagers in front of me. Because naturally, a nineteen-year-old geek- complete with glasses, odd socks and a Doctor Who T-shirt urging the people around me not to blink- would be going to get a milkshake with a couple of fifteen year olds, just one of the gang, I cringed as I thought of milkshakes. I managed to fall into the seat opposite my parents without running into her, this didn't let the tension leave my shoulders as my eyes darted around for any sign of her. She shouldn't be working today and I shouldn't know her timetable off by heart. Stalker I winced internally as I imagined her disgust if she knew how much I knew about her. She does know, she's got your journal.
"Edward?" my mums voice brought my eyes to her, I tried to give them a small smile until I saw her eyes looking nervously down at my nails digging into the back of my left hand. I flexed my fingers, placing them both under the table. "Sorry, what did you say?" she smiled to herself, her eyes forgiving as she repeated "I asked how you had been? Emmett says you have gone back to college, we are so proud of you" His father nodded in agreement beside her.
"Yeah… I" my heart dropped into my chest as I noticed a pair of brown eyes look intently at me from over my mother's shoulder, my breaths came faster as the bile rose in my throat. "Excuse me" I muttered before running towards the bathroom, making it just in time before I threw up. I stayed kneeling over the toilet for a few minutes, fighting the urge to be sick again before I got up, still feeling lightheaded. I unlocked the door and walked over to the sink, splashing the cool water on my face, hoping it would help. I leant my forehead against the mirror, glaring at my reflection in disgust. You thought she would want you. She hates you, you are just the nerdy freak with no manners or social skills, who are you to her? No one. She wouldn't have looked at you then if it was not in revulsion, you have been watching her for months and she knows it.
"Oh there you are, sweetie" my mum looked up, frowning as she saw me walking back to the table, glancing around uncertainly.
"Are you alright, sweetie? Your friend left this" She gestured to the journal in front of her. Friend? Friend? I opened and closed my mouth a few times as my father smirked at me "She's very pretty, Edward. Why didn't you tell us?" mum shushed him as she reached for the book in front of her "She said to tell you that she wants to speak to you. It seemed kind of important." she tapped on the cover twice, bemused. For a second I thought she was going to open it, I snatched it from the table. She blinked a few times in confusion at my reaction as my Dad chuckled.
"I think that is our cue to leave, Es" he patted my shoulder, giving me a wolfish grin as he steered Mum towards the door, he smirked at the journal clutched to my chest with a wink as they both disappeared out of the door.
I settled myself into the booth with a sigh, running my fingers through my messy hair as I appraised the journal like a wild animal. A flash of blue caught my attention, the corner peeking out between the pages, I flicked through the pages warily. A post it note? I checked the page and groaned, the first note I had written to her.
Dear Beautiful girl…
Oh Fuck. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see what she had written. Do it. I lowered my eyes, frowning. Covering my pathetic ramblings, she had written her own note back.
Hello Beautiful boy…
I narrowed my eyes in confusion, silently skimming through the pages, each covered with comments and messages and even tiny little drawings beside my own. She hadn't just commented on what I had wrote about her, she had sketched chibi versions of my favourite characters, she had written sweet little notes in her curvy, looping handwriting and I was pretty sure she had corrected my spelling in more than one place. I chuckled quietly to myself as I noticed she had filled in the titles of the books in a drawing I had made of her reading at the diner, a strand of her hair slowly being spun around her index finger as she lost herself in the story. At the bottom of the page she had written "Really? You pay this much attention to detail and you don't manage to catch the title of the book. I need a more efficient stalker." Adding a little winky face at the end and underlining the message three times. She was making a joke of this?
My sigh caught in my throat as I noticed a shadow on the table in front of me, I lifted my head slowly, uncertain of what to do. She was even prettier up close, her eyes surprisingly kind even now, her wild hair like spirals, pushed behind one ear, revealing two hoops circling through the top of her ear.
She seemed to take my appearance in carefully, her eyes slowly analysing each feature as I swallowed nervously. Your hair's messed up. What was she looking at? You hardly slept, imagine how many bags are under your eyes right now. Please say something. You think she wants to speak to you. Freak. Isabella seemed to find whatever she was looking for, her eyes leaving mine and falling to the page I left open in front of me, a faint blush appearing on the apples of her cheeks. It's not just me then. She smiles lazily at me as her eyes travel back from the book.
"Hi."