Hey guys, err *cough* well I've realised that my fics have been a bit too depressing lately so here's a fluffy, funny one to even out the balance! However, as I can't go cold turkey, try and spot the hidden packet of angst in the first chapter. Personally, I thought it was subtle, but to you, it may be as subtle as Voldemort's uncomfortable face when he hugs Draco Malfoy. Answers on a postcard, or if Postman Pat has taken his annual kite flying holiday, ideas in the review section would be okay too I suppose.
Florentine Heat
Kurt yawned into the rising sun as he looked about his balcony and stared contentedly out on the narrow streets of Florence. The city was just waking up to what promised to be a gloriously warm day. He gazed for a while at the various white vans delivering armfuls of brightly coloured and eclectic flowers to the rustic stalls which were setting up in the Piazza Signoria. Without turning around, he heard the sliding of the glass door open and soon felt the warm skin of his lover's chest covering his smooth back and a slightly stubbled neck leaning on his bare shoulder. His lover's longer than normal wavy hair tickling Kurt's ear as the breeze blew by. Dave inhaled deeply and bowed his head so he could kiss Kurt's shoulder.
"Mmmn. You always smell the best after we've had sex. You've got that kind of musky maleness on your skin and it just makes me want to do that to you all over again..." Dave's hand trailed across Kurt's stomach as he wrapped his arm across the slender man; locking him in place against his chest. Kurt affectionately leaned into the embrace and tangled his fingers into the back of Dave's hair while placing his other arm on top of Dave's. "I've been thinking..." Kurt began.
"Oh I'm sorry babe! Let me just go ahead and fix that for you" and Dave started to nip at any part of the pale expanse of skin that was within his reach.
Kurt giggled and playfully nuzzled him away, squirming futilely in his capture. "You're not going to make me forget THAT easily David...*shudder* even though this plan has worked beautifully for you till now. *Gasp.* We haven't left the room in- ooh not your tongue...s-so wet...so gooood... N-no David Da- Dave-iiiidd" Kurt breathed out in pleasure.
"Well, husband, this is our honeymoon after all and don't you want me?" Dave teased as he dragged his teeth along Kurt's collarbone and laid smirking kisses back up the line again. Kurt couldn't resist when Dave dropped the word 'husband' from his lips, so sweet like honey mixed with popping candy, it made Kurt's insides do fizzy yippee somersaults every time. "Because" Dave continued, humming on Kurt's skin; "ohh my baby, baby. I want you so, it scares me to death-". The low baritone voice of David mixed with the slow tune of Elvis Costello's 'I want you' made Kurt's knees tremble.
"Now that's just plain dirty..."
The sex hungry man smirked and chuckled out "you know I love it filthy" as he thrust his groin roughly into the back of Kurt's boxer clad ass. "-it's the stupid details that my heart is breaking for. It's the way your shoulder's shake and what they're shaking for..." Dave started kissing Kurt's now goose pimpled shoulder up to the top of his arms, the fine hairs almost invisible, save for the soft feel of them under Dave's lips.
"No, but, David, we've been in Florence since...since-" "or you undressing..." Kurt's mind was seriously lacking in their normal mental functions as Dave's hand began moving against Kurt's stomach. "Since...oh, and we haven't even been to the...the..."
Dave's hand started to drop ever so slowly down to the waist band of Kurt's underpants, his fingers just brushing along the flat skin between Kurt's stomach and groin. "I want you." Dave murmured against his jaw, before he kissed to the side of Kurt's open and waiting lips. Kurt's head fell backwards and a quiet, low moan escaped from his traitorous lips.
Dave knew exactly where Kurt wanted to go, but he would be damned if he foiled his own 3-step seduction strategy. He could feel Kurt quickly losing his will as he continued to charm and Dave was loving every second of it. He was waiting in smug confidence for those inevitable, sexy syllables to melt out of Kurt's mouth; he was waiting for the 'fuck it' to come. 'Oh yeah,' Dave thought, 'I have totally won this! I've got victory wrapped up in a nice little parcel with Buzz Lightyear stickers on top and a My Little Pony ribbon tying it up in a gay-as-rainbows pink bow. Awesome!'
There was a smart wrap on the door. The unexpected interruption caused Dave to let out an uncharacteristically girly "meep!" and his heart, if this was possible, quickened in pace. Kurt used Dave's default response which appears when he gets caught in the middle of scheming (it was his classic 'guilty school kid caught with his trousers down' look), to swiftly slip out of his grasp and wrench open the heavy wooden door.
"Buongiorno Mr Hummel!" the motherly hotel keeper greeted brightly in a thick Italian accent as she embraced Kurt to her bosom. "Err, I have arrived to give you the err wakeup call you asked for yesterday evening si?"
"Perfetto! Grazie signora. Thank you so very, very much!" Despite the fact that Kurt's cheeks were red and currently squashed between the old lady's hand and breasts, the warmth of Kurt's words were issued from the deepest hollows of his heart and he had to fight off the urge to cuddle into her, purely because the unavoidable result would be suffocation. And David would never forgive him for that.
"Va bene, Ciao bambino mio!" At that, the housekeeper kissed the top of Kurt's head and departed. However, this was not before she cast an angry glare towards Dave who, in turn, blushed bright crimson and looked away.
"You know, the only reason she hates me is because she loves you so frikin' much!" Dave defended with an air of defiance. He made sure, of course, that she had gone down the elevator first.
"Jealous David? And anyway, you're telling me it has nothing to do with the fact that in the first hour of meeting her you managed to call her mother fat, her daughter a whore and her grandson an eunuch?"
"Hey, I never said I could speak Italian."
"Eunuch! Of all the phrases you could mumble from your 'totally awesome' hand-made phrase book...un eunuco!"
"I knew I should never have trusted Az..." Dave paused and titled his head as if he was musing on a difficult philosophical issue. "For the record, the kid was kind of a eunuch, in a way..."
"You mean because her grandson was actually a girl?"
"Yeah!" Dave beamed.
Kurt face-palmed and then suddenly remembered why he called the housekeeper up in the first place. Slowly, he removed his hand from his forehead, a soft smile curling upon his lips. "So. Now that my lovely lady has given me space to gather my thoughts, I can now tell you that I'm leaving for the Uffizi gallery after breakfast with or without you, okay bye!" When Kurt first started his speech, Dave immediately remembered where this would head and started making his way towards Kurt, however by the end, Kurt was legging it across the suite, his bare feet making pit-pat noises as he raced across the cold stone flooring, shouting his orders over his shoulder and slamming the bathroom door shut before Dave could reach him. Kurt giggled breathless and rested his weight on the door. He could hear the muffled thump of Dave's head as it banged on the opposite side. "I was so close!" Dave groaned.
"Oh, you're always" he coughed and let out a fake groan "'so close', David" implying it in a sexually innuendo-like way. Dave burst out laughing behind the door, his voice deep and husky "Now who's just plain dirty?" he said emphasising his last two words.
Kurt grinned impishly to himself and blasted the shower in hope of drowning out Dave's sexually frustrated whines and his own growing hard-on.
Well that was the end of part one! It was originally going to be a one shot, but it felt too long, so this would probably be split into two parts. It's the final part that earns this story the M rating. Please excuse the Italian if it had mistakes! Tune in again for more hilarity, more Florence and more of Dave trying to get into Kurt's pants!