Credits:
The characters in this fanfic are from Yu Yu Hakusho.
Hands to Heaven
By Turin
Chapter 1: Ningenkai
They had had two years, and during that time, they loved each other…yea, even promised forever 'itsu mo' together.
It was one of those nights when the clouds were so thick, no stars, nor moon could be seen. A shadow flitted through this darkness, leaping from tree to tree, from house to house at phenomenal speeds. The figure did not waver – choosing the most economical path to the peach-colored apartment at the end of the block.
Meanwhile, at the house, a young man, nibbled nervously at the end of the pencil. It was a habit he picked up in the ningen realm… and though he seldom did it when anyone was around (not even him)… the pounding in his heart was too much to bear.
He turned as the curtain danced behind him… the youkai always used to enter soundlessly through there… but now… it is just the wind.
Should I close it now? The rose-haired young man thought. It was past midnight… and he did have to work tomorrow. Maybe he was at the other realm with his War-Lord?
After a few moments of deliberation, he reached out and locked the window. He missed him, but probably, he was too busy to go here tonight… ah well, there would be other nights. That bed would look more inviting with his body under the covers, but tonight, the warm sheets would have to do. He crawled in between his comforters, and though he tried to stay awake a few minutes more, his ningen body called out for rest. The moment his back touched the bed, he was gone.
And then, the shadow arrived, his breathing was unlabored, though he crossed a world just to be here. If it were brighter, one would see the rarest of sights – a dimpled smile on his face. It has been a week since they've been together, and he missed him like no other. In contest between his katana Masamune, and him, he would choose him. In contest between the pearl memory he wore around his neck, he would choose him. In contest with his life, he would choose him.
He reached out to open the window…
And found it unyielding.
He wondered if it was stuck, but this window has never been stuck before. Then he saw it. The little buttons at the base of the wood were pressed down.
He locked up? He thought unbelievingly.
Though he tried so hard to suppress it, he felt the stirrings of anger in his heart. How dare he? After I went to all the trouble of seeing him? How dare he? But then, the voice of reason, he did not expect you're coming. You have been gone a week. It was not his fault.
He was hot tempered, but he had always listened to the voice of reason. He looked at the gnarled branch of the sakura tree. Two years ago, this used to be his 'perch', but after his bed became available… well….
Grudgingly, he spread his coat on the branch and settled his body to its familiar contours. Though he didn't feel it, he knew he had to rest. Respites were few and far between his chosen mode of life, and a warrior better take a rest whenever it was possible.
The morning was still young when sleep left him fully awake. He walked to the window and found three little finger prints, half-erased by dawn's dew.
He was here? He whispered incredulously as he fumbled to open the windows. But there was no one outside no matter how hard he looked.
So Kurama bathed and ate and greeted the day with a smile on his face, though in his heart, he was troubled. He was here. A chance lost just because he was too damned stupid not to wait! How could Hiei expect him to shuffle two lives and not be exhausted once in a while? He should have waited!
"Ano… Kurama-kun?" Aya, his friend outside of the Reikai Tantei tugged at his sleeves.
"Oh… Gomen nasai, Aya-kun… I was thinking of something else. I must have blanked out. Do'ishte?"
A slight frown creased her brows.
"You've been phasing out a lot lately. Is something in your mind?"
She has been his friend far longer than anybody. In fact, even longer than any human being aside from his Mother. He was poor at making relationships when he was young, having ingrained too much of the youko in his psyche. But Aya has seen through his wall and endeared herself to him, staying loyal and true even though he cast her aside so many times – too many times.
She didn't deserve a friend like him.
"No, I'm just worried about biochem. I couldn't understand the reactions. That's all, don't worry," he lied as he gazed into her eyes and smiled.
"Liar. You know that's not true!" She chided gently as she pinched him on the arm. Kurama giggled.
"Well, it was a nice effort."
"You know you can tell me anything Kurama kun."
"I know."
"And you can trust me, too."
"I Know."
"Though I know you know I know the secret you can't tell me ever."
Kurama stopped in his tracks and stared at her.
"But you know that nothing can stop us from being friends, right?"
"R-Right."
Aya nodded and like a tomboy, placed her hands in her jean pockets and walked ahead, leaving Kurama smiling wistfully.
They were classmates since they started school. She knew him long before he became the school idol. She couldn't honestly say that she liked him immediately, but there was something in his withdrawn eyes that aroused her curiosity. It was in first grade when he finally nodded when he saw her; fourth grade when he let her use his name. In sixth grade, she noticed a change in him. He smiled once in a while and well, he bloomed. There was no better way to describe it. His awkwardness around other people disappeared, and he began noticing his classmates. He was a great help in History, and Math and the Sciences. Like all of them, he struggled in English, but as usual, he mastered the new language and was soon speaking the alien tongue with better accent than their teacher. His handsome almost feminine face captured many hearts, and his humbleness and gentleness captured the rest.
Including her.
Shuuichi treated her differently, maybe to make up for his aloofness in the past. It made the others envy her, but she didn't mind. Secretly, she hoped that Shuuichi liked her the same way she liked him. But her hopes were dashed when she saw them. At first she thought he was a kid, but when she heard his voice, she knew otherwise. They held hands under the moon and kissed.
Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod. Shuuichi-kun's kissing someone, and that someone is a boy! Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!
She was in a daze that whole day. Shuuichi mentioned this, but she refused to talk. He badgered her good-naturedly until she relented.
"I saw you in the park…" she whispered, afraid that anyone might hear her.
"I always pass the park Aya-kun… It's a short cut to my place, remember?"
"Don't play dumb Shuuichi. You know what I mean…"
"No, I'm afraid not."
Then she saw one aspect of Shuuichi that their other classmates didn't perceive. He was a good liar. And unless one knew the truth, he could use his charm to convince the other that he was right and they were wrong. But she could see no other explanation except… except…
"Shuuichi… can I… walk with you when class is over?"
"Of course, hon," he called her hon. Another one of his tricks. "I couldn't say no to my oldest friend."
That afternoon, they walked together like boyfriend and girl friend. Oh what she would give for that to be the truth!
"So fess up, Aya, what's so important that we have to have all this privacy?"
"I know."
"What? I told you I don't understand."
He had such an innocent expression, that he unarmed her for a moment. But she steeled her nerves and gritted her teeth.
"I know you'll never like me. And you only treat me better than most because you know I love you more truly than the others. I love you. There I said it. But I won't have a chance, because you already have someone, do you?"
"Aya..?"
"Don't play games Shuuichi. I'm you're friend. You're lucky it was me who saw you that night and not some other girl who might not understand."
"You saw h…"
He was about to say 'him', and she had to stop Shuuichi. She couldn't bear to think of him as such.
"I know you're not serious about… that person. You're only experimenting, right? Lots of boys your age pass the stage, so you have nothing to be ashamed of."
For the first time in her life, she saw Shuuichi at a loss. Then he looked down, apparently ashamed.
"Stop this nonsense before it ruins you."
When he looked up at her, his eyes chilled her to the soul. Another facet of him for her alone. And this, she will accept as she had accepted his shortcoming. After all, what could be more sinful than that?
"You won't tell anyone? I can't stop seeing him, you understand."
The word 'him' used in that context and coming from Shuuichi's lips sent goose bumps down her body. She would've squirmed if he wasn't hanging on her words.
"I won't. I promise. If it comes out, it won't be from me."
Shuuichi looked older than his 15 years as he smiled and held her hands.
"Thank you."
That night. Kurama made it a point to leave the windows open.
Outside, the crescent moon peeped through the curtains, accompanying the wind. The sky cast too much light and he pondered whether Hiei would come.
At midnight, he did.
In a flurry of jet black, he landed as noiselessly as a cat, and with the same lithe movements landed on his toes in front of his bed. Even after seeing this entrance so many times, Kurama couldn't help but be envious. Even he, a kitsune can't muster that kind of grace.
"Koibito."
"Koi…"
Just the sound of his voice made his heart flutter. It has been too long…
His eyes glowed in the dark as he motioned for Hiei to slip under the sheets with him. The youkai smiled and removed his shawl. Kurama's bed shifted under the added weight.
"You're wearing nothing kitsune…" Hiei murmured, feigning surprise.
"And you're wearing too much…"
They laughed softly, and while his human mother slept, two beings from the different worlds came together as one…
Hiei looked at his lover sleeping peacefully snuggled beside him. He could count in his fingers the number of times they've been together in the whole year. Things were different when they were active in the Reikai Tantei, but now… the terms of their contract has been fulfilled. They are now free, the records of their past sins erased from the After World.
"Here…" he threw the pearl into the air. It traced an arch before Kurama caught it.
"Oh! Is this for me?"
"Fool! It's for her! Tell her his brother's dead, and she should stop searching for a lost cause!"
A cloud passed through Kurama's face, but only for a while.
"Okay. Are you coming back?"
"I don't know. That's for Mokuro to decide."
"The bitch?"
"My boss," he corrected.
"Yukina will miss you."
"I don't care."
"And Keiko, Itsuko, Yusuke, Genkai, Puu, even Kuwabara though he won't admit it."
I will miss you.
"Well… for their sake, whatever, whenever."
I will visit. Once in a while.
"Next year, when the portal opens, you'll visit?"
He didn't answer. He left with neither nary a promise nor another kiss. The bridge between them cracked.
The year passed swiftly as he served Mokuro. He knew she loved him dearly, or as dearly as pure youkais could feel love. When he remembered their rendezvous, it was past noon.
He arrived in Genkai's temple at midnight. He looked for him everywhere, but Kurama was gone. Then he heard the echoes of the surf, and he thought what the hell? Ningen-kai's ocean is beautiful. As long as he was here…
And on the beach he saw him. Looking wistfully at the moon. Half-kitsune, half-human, both aspects at the surface.
One eye-blink he was the thousand-year old thief, the next, the teen-age Minamino Shuuichi.
"Kurama."
Kurama/ Shuuichi turned and smiled.
"You came."
"You're stupid enough to wait forever."
"Well, not as stupid as you are for coming to someone he knows to be stupid."
He was about to come up with a good retort when Kurama silenced him with a kiss.
Eight more times they met and Kurama welcomed and sent him off with kisses and embraces to make his heart swoon, and for a while, wish that he could stay here… in ningen kai.
He tried, he really tried. Some times, he stayed days, even weeks… trying to acclimatize himself to this world and garner enough courage to say good bye to the life he knew and live anew in this. But one moment overshadowed his efforts.
The irony of their first Christmas.
The stupid (endearing) pet (affectionately called ' kitsune' )dressed him up as a kid, complete with cute ear muffs and furry coat. Afterwards, Kurama paraded his new coat and fished for his complements.
"Do you like this, koi?"
"Mnph."
"Is that a yes or a no?"
"What did it sound like to you?"
Another kiss. Kurama had to meet the guys with his coat all rumpled, but at least his cheeks were well rouged. The guys hadn't changed. Keiko still bossed Yusuke, and Yusuke still bore it all with immaculate patience. Kuwabara was still a pain in the ass, and Yukina… she was somewhat fuller.
"A baby!" he would have screamed if only Kurama didn't muffle his lips. "Gods! With that dork!"
The night passed with no incident, well… except maybe the accidental fire on Kuwabara's carrot-for-a-head. But all in all it was peaceful.
"Hey guys, Hiei has to catch the portal back, so we have to say good bye now," Kurama brushed his pants as he stood up.
"Ow, you two love birds just say it out loud, we won't mind!" Kuwabara guffawed in his drunkenness. He almost spat out the beer as Yukina punched him in the guts.
"Shh… it's private."
He was about to punch Kuwabara too and dare him what's so laughable about their relationship when Kurama cut in. His koibito, always the peacemaker, he thought affectionately...
But Kurama said something different from what he expected.
"C'mon you guys. We're just friends."
They left with Kurama half-dragging him out.
Just friends…
Just friends.
Just friends?
"Hey… you've been quiet all the time. What's on your mind?"
Just. Friends.
"What's wrong?"
Just friends.
"You said we're just friends. Are we?"
Kurama's eyes grew wide, almost as wide as his.
"Why didn't you tell them about us?"
He said nothing.
"And your mother. You always introduce me as the mute little kid." Because if I talk, she'll know I'm not that young at all. Hell I'm older than her. "Why?"
Kurama breathed deeply, crafting his words.
"It's not acceptable. You and me. They won't treat us as before."
"And how do you know?"
He remained silent.
"I want Shiori to know about us."
"NO!" then he realized that he must've shouted, so he followed with a more subdued negation. He looked at the falling snow. "Please understand, I have a life to live now… in this world."
"A lie of a life," he whispered beneath his breath. If Kurama heard, he gave no indication. When they came to the torii, the kitsune bent down and kissed him. His lips were warm, but its warmth couldn't melt the cold of anger in his heart. Another crack appeared on the bridge between them.
I love you. You have me and I have you. Aren't those enough?
Hiei gently disengaged himself from his lover's embrace. He could feel the portal opening soon. He had to leave tonight, or Mokuro will have his hide. Should he wake him up? He glanced at the pile of books on Kurama's study table and decided against it.
I wonder how long we'll be apart this time.
Silently, he put on his clothes then went out into the night.
Kurama's hands searched instinctively for the warmth next to his. This, more than the alarm clock, nor the knocks of his mother brought him back to waking. Koishi?
What did he expect? The Portal waits for no one. As before, he felt overwhelming sadness at their parting, as if his heart will break. As if his head will explode.
"Shuu-chan, Shuu-chan? You're going to be late for school!"
"Yes Mother! I overslept! Gomen!" His body felt heavy as he forced himself to wear at least a decent shirt and boxers. Then he opened the door and kissed his mother. He had cleaned before he slept so he wasn't afraid that she might suspect.
She spied the heap of books on his study table.
"Don't study too hard, Shuu-chan. After all, your health is more important than grades…"
He smiled as he draped his hands around her shoulders. "Don't worry okasaan. I smell your delicious pancakes downstairs! Let's eat before I rush to school, ne?"
The syrup on the pancake clashed with his mood, but he had to maintain the façade and not let his Mother worry. He smiled and laughed as Shiori told him about Tanaka-san.
He envied her that she could have two families – Tanaka san and his boy, and him. So why couldn't he have two lives? Why couldn't they be happy for him as they were happy for her?
From their neighbor, he heard a song waft through their open windows. It was an English song, but the melody was beautiful, and the way the words fit the music, its sacrilege to change it.
My heart beats faster, simply by being with you
Loving you, I am complete.
Tonight, I need your embraces Lord, let it not be too soon,
True love often is, too short, too fleeting
Love is like the spring that fades.
In my dreams, make me forget
And believe that you are forever
the day we say
Goodbye.
To Be Continued
My first fan fiction in what? A year? I am truly sorry. Rate and Review! the song is mine! Mine, I tell you! Oh, I think there'll be a Guest appearance by Hasunuma from Eerie Queerie. Aya (Remember the girl that the duo rescued in" Two Shots"?). Shindou Shuuichi from Gravitation. Tee-hee! All Star Cast! They're just here coz I'm too lazy to imagine new characters…