It won't end: Thoughts of a Pained Chosen One

by EternalLoveAndDarknessAlike-K

Basically, a one-shot of Harry after Sirius's death but before the end of Half-Blood Prince. He is in incredible pain and is constantly getting thrust back into that devastating memory and it becomes too much. This is basically just his thoughts.

Just a simple one-shot. I could grow this, but I doubt I'll get a decent enough plot without actually copying the entire book. Plus, this is something I wrote a while back for school. I just edited it a bit.

It won't end. It will never end. Dreams used to be my safehold, my refuge, the only place where being the Chosen One was nothing special. The only place where my deepest fantasies could come true. But, then my dream realm became a place of nightmares a place where all I saw was that occurrence, Sirius, my godfather, in front of me collapsing and entering the other realm, the realm of the dead.

Maybe that's why I've been so distant. Everyone around is a reminder, a reminder of my not so distant past. At points I wish that wizardry and my life weren't real, that I'm just a piece of fiction. But, as of right now, I'm living in my world, where every occurrence has the most profoundly catastrophic of impacts on not just my life but also the life of others…

Ginny. Hermione. Ron. Lupin. Everyone. My family.

The realm of dreams is not what it used to be, morphed and twisted into a place where I am constantly thrown into my deepest and darkest fears. Images on repeat… a cycle that will never end. Nothing more and nothing less than an unending hellhole.

Each day, I grow more distant, farther and farther away from the ones I care about. But I cannot let them down. After all, I am the Chosen one and my friends are all I have left. They to me are my lifelines, when one dies or is put in a compromising position, a part of me does.

Life and death seems to be all I think about in my dreams. Tonight's dream seems to be much less dramatic and heart wrenching than others. But, I don't this though process shall end. Nothing in my dreams ever seems to. They just become the harsh reality of my world.

And now as this dream seems to come to this horrible close, I cannot feel anything but loneliness. Nothing more and nothing less, than the fact I am alone in the continent, my entire life either in the heavens or overseas. There's no family around here for me anymore. If I could I would just pick myself up and leave, but I don't think that this is the right time. Perhaps, I am destined to feel like this for an eternity.