Hey guys, I know that I already published a version to Broken Wings, but after I published it I went in my room and I instantly regretted it. I thought of a better version. My friend Nadia really liked it, I let her read my sloppy copy and she went crazy. She told me to immediately finish it. And every five sentences she stole my notebook to read it. Nothing really changes until after she trips so if you've read it got to that part. Tell me which version you liked better. This is version 2.
Disclaimer: Twilight no es mino. =( __________________________________________________________
Chapter One: With Me
Chapter Songs: With me by Sum 41 and I'm With You by Avril Lavigne.
I was in the kitchen cooking dinner for Charlie. I was running a little late because I had to stay after school for an assignment. I tried to cook something fast and easy. I decided to cook spaghetti in hope that it would be ready before Charlie came home.
I was stirring the noodles when Charlie bust through the door. He staggered through the living room and I could tell he was drunk again. Ever since my mom left us he's been drinking a lot lately. (A/N: in this story Renee left a year ago.)
When he saw me cooking his expression turned angry and aggravated.
"All I fucking ask is that you have dinner ready when I get home and you pull this shit!" he yelled. (A/N: sorry about the language, but I heard that when you're drunk you curse a lot.)
I flinched at his words. "I'm sorry Charlie, but I had to stay after school."
"Shut up you fucking, lying whore. You were probably out fucking random boys." He slurred.
He took a step closer to me and raised his right hand to strike me. The impact knocked me into the stove which knocked the pot of noodles on the floor. The water burned my skin. I stayed on the floor and put my hand on my face.
"Clean up this shit." He said walking out of the room.
When he was out earshot I curled up on the floor and cried. I eventually got up and grabbed a mop. I wiped up the water and threw away the noodles on the floor.
I took my shower and slipped on a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I sat in my bed in the dark and waited till I heard Charlie's breathing even. I slowly opened my window and slipped of my legs out. I stepped on one of the branches and slipped the rest of me out the window. I quietly climbed the tree.
I began walking without a clue where I was going. It began to rain and my vision was getting a little foggy. I continued walking until I came to the end of a cliff. I looked down and I saw the black water. I felt as if it was calling to me. I looked up at the sky and spread my arms.
"Fuck you!" I yelled up at the sky. "Fuck you and my messed up life! Fuck Charlie, fuck Renee. Why are you doing this to me?" I asked the sky.
"Why couldn't you give me a normal life? Why the hell am I the one with the drunken abusive father? Why did you make Renee leave me? I want it all to end." I said looking back at the water.
I took a step. I was an inch away from the water. I wanted it so badly to end.
"Don't do it!" a voice said.
I turned around, stepping back from the edge. It was hard to see through the rain. I saw a white figure coming closer to me.
"Why not?" I asked the figure.
"Because no matter what's going on suicide is not the answer." The figure said.
I turned back to the water. "Well it's the answer for my problem." I said.
"You know there a lot of people that could help you. You don't have to end your life." The figure said.
I turned around again and the figure was closer to me. There was a boy with damp bronze hair. I couldn't make out his face.
"Oh yeah, who is going to believe that the Chief of Police is beating his daughter." I said.
He took a step closer to me and held out his hand. "I believe you," he said and for some reason that was enough. I fell into this stranger's arms and began to sob harder.
He picked me up into his arms and brought me to a car. We both got into the backseat and he pulled me into his arms. I didn't even know this boy and here I was in his arms crying about my messed up life.
He rubbed small circles in my back and whispered soothing words into me ear. His breath sent electric shocks through my body. I just held on to him tighter.
When I finally stopped sobbing I looked up and I could finally see his face. His bronze hair was damp and fell into his eyes a bit. He had the most warming topaz eyes. (A/N: I know human Edward has green eyes but I like Edward's gold eyes.) His skin was pale and kind of sparkled in the moonlight.
His eyes looked worried. He looked worried for me. I had never seen him before let alone know his name.
"Why did you do it?" I asked him.
He looked at me slightly confused.
"Why did you stop me? Not that I regret it but we don't even know each other, and you convinced me, a complete stranger, not to kill herself and it's not even your responsibility? I said.
He thought about that for a minute. "I was riding alone to clear my head when I heard you yelling. I parked my car and I saw that you were about to jump, and I don't know why but I had to stop you." He told me.
I stared into his warm eyes and I felt safe and that he cared for me. I noticed that we were both leaning towards each other. When his lips met mine the electricity intensified. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closed. I straddled his waist and he wrapped his arms around mine. I slipped my hands down his shoulders and under his shirt.
I ran my fingers up and down his smooth stomach. I slowly began to pull his shirt up and over his head. I threw the shirt on the floor of his car. His hands traveled up my back and he found the clasp to my bra, he unhooked it and then his hands went to the hem of my shirt. He tugged it over my head and threw it with his shirt.
His lips broke away from mine to kiss my neck. He trailed kisses to my shoulders pulling the straps down to my bra. I felt a little self-conscious and he stared at my bare chest.
I covered my chest with my arms instinctively but he pulled them away. "You don't need to cover up, you beautiful." He told me.
I felt my cheeks get hot and he brought my lips back to his. I kissed him passionately and I felt his hands trail down to the waistband of my sweats. He gently pulled them off of me and switched positions so that I was lying down on the seat. He pulled off his own pants and we were both sitting there in our underwear.
He kissed my neck making his way down to my stomach. His cool breath tickled me as he made his way down to the hem of my underwear. He hooked his fingers on my underwear and pulled them down. I pulled his off too.
There should been some warning telling me to stop, that I was naked in a car with a stranger, that he could hurt me, but there wasn't. I felt completely safe with him even though I didn't know who he was.
He pulled his face back to mine and kissed him. He positioned himself at my entrance. He pulled his face away from mine to look in my eyes. He looked like he was asking permission.
I just nodded and he thrusted himself into me. I gasped at the contact. He pulled out and pushed back in. I brought his face back to mine and captured his lips in a deep kiss.
He continued at a slow steady rhythm. I wanted this to last forever, this feeling of security and passion. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer to me.
I could feel my stomach tighten as he sped up his pace. I moaned in his mouth and he did to. I felt myself climax and I moaned even louder sending the stranger into his orgasm too.
We lay there for a while catching out breath. I looked him in the eye and I couldn't believe what I had just done. I had sex with a stranger, in the backseat of his car. He must think I'm a slut.
"I'm sorry," he said.
I looked at him in surprise, what did he have to be sorry for?
"What?" I asked him.
"You must think I'm a jerk, taking advantage of you after you just had a breakdown. I feel horrible." He said covering his eyes with his hand.
"Hey, it's not your fault, I went along with it too." I said.
"But you were crying, and I just went and had sex with you, and I don't even know your name." he said.
"Well I'm Bella Swan, and you are…" I said trailing off.
"Edward Cullen," he said.
"So does that ease a little of your guilt?" I asked him.
"Not really," he said as he sighed. "I should probably take you home now." He said.
I stiffened when he said home, I think he noticed.
"Bella you should really consider talking to someone about your situation." He said.
I shook my head. "No one would listen to me."
"Bella," he said each of his hands on the side of my face. "Please just consider it."
I nodded, and we began to put our clothes on. Edward and I climbed in the front seats and we drove away.
Edward parked in front of my house and I didn't get out of the car.
"It will be okay Bella, I promise." He said and for some reason I believed him.
I got out of the car and went around to the tree below my window. I pulled myself up with the branches slipped through my window. I turned around to see Edward still there. When his eyes met mine he drove off.
I climbed into bed and I could still feel the warmth of Edward's touch. I was a little saddened when I realized I probably wouldn't see him again. I felt stupid right now. I just gave up my virginity to someone I don't even know, in the backseat of a Volvo.
When I woke up the next morning I had a horrible headache. I stumbled out of my bed and went to the bathroom. I took my morning shower and went to go get dressed. When I looked in the mirror I realized that I had a hickey on my neck. I tried to cover it with make-up but it still showed. I combed my hair down and hoped that Charlie wouldn't notice.
When I went downstairs thankfully Charlie left for work early. I grabbed my keys to my truck and climbed in. the loud roaring of the truck made my head pound harder. I tried to concentrate through the pounding to make my way to school. I parked at the far end and slowly made my way out of the truck.
I was greeted by my best friend Alice. She said hello a little loudly and I groaned.
"Bella, what's the matter?" she asked me looking concerned.
"It's nothing, I just have a headache." I told her.
"Well guess what?" she asked me.
"What Alice?" I asked her.
"Forks High School just got four new students, I don't know their names, but I've seen them and they are all gorgeous." She told me.
"Woo hoo," I faked excitement.
"Bella don't be mopy." She said dragging me to school.
We were in the first period and I laid my head on the desk. If only Alice knew what was going on with me, then she would just let me mope around. I didn't want to tell her because I didn't want to be pitied by her. She wouldn't treat me the same if I let her in my secret. No one else knew about my situation. Well no one except Edward…
"Bella one of the new kids is staring at you." Alice said interrupting my thoughts.
I slowly picked up my head and looked in she was looking. I gasped when I saw Edward looking at me. His eyes were filled with concern and something else. Happiness, I thought it looked like. I stared at him with widened eyes. I turned my head and laid it back on the desk.
I was happy and scared at the same time. I was happy because I would get to see Edward every day. I was scared because someone in the school knew my secret. What if he told someone? I thought to myself. I was quickly angry at myself for even thinking that. I barely knew him but something about him told me he wouldn't tell anyone.
When class was over I tried to get out of the class before Edward could catch up with me, but being my naturally clumsy self I tripped over the chair. I waited for the impact that would defiantly make my head hurt worse but instead I felt two familiar arms wrap around me.
I looked up to see Edward looking down at me.
"Are you alright Bella?" he asked.
I nodded but he didn't let me go. We looked into each other's eyes. Memories of last night flooded into my mind. The way his lips felt on mine and they way his hands traveled down my bare body and I blushed.
My thoughts were interrupted yet again by Alice. I looked over at me and she was staring at Edward and me with questioning look. I quickly pulled away from Edward.
"Thanks," I mumbled to him and walked out the door with Alice close behind me.
"What was that?" she asked me.
"I have no idea," I told her. I headed for my next class, Biology.
I was so happy for once to have the table to myself. I plopped down in my chair and closed my eyes. My head snapped up when I heard the chair next to me being pulled out. I opened my eyes and sure enough there was Edward. I groaned when I saw him and he looked hurt.
He sat down next to me and looked at me with a sad face that made my heart clench. I didn't know why it hurt me to see him sad. I hadn't even known him for a full twenty-four hours.
"Bella?" he said in a voice that matched his face.
"Yeah Edward?" I asked him.
"Are you regretting what we did last night?" he asked me.
"No Edward, last night was amazing, I would never regret it." I told him.
"What do we do now?" he said.
"I honestly don't know." I said.
"Bella I want to be with you, I know we haven't known each other long but last night just felt right, like it was supposed to happen."
"Edward I can't be with you," my heart clenched tighter when I said this.
"Bella if this is about Charlie I can handle myself." He told me.
"No Edward this isn't about Charlie, o just don't feel the same way about you." I told him. I knew that if I didn't get out of here quick I would breakdown and cry right then and there.
I turned away from Edward's face because the hurt expression on his face was killing me. I raised my hand and asked to go to the bathroom.
I grabbed my things and walked quickly through the halls to the bathroom. I closed the door and ran to the closest stall and locked it. I couldn't stop the sobs and the tears now; thankfully no one was in the bathroom.
I hated myself for telling Edward that I didn't feel the same way about him when I felt even more for him. When Edward was with me he made me feel normal and like there was a reason for my life to go on. And I just told that reason I didn't feel for him.
I opened the stall and looked at myself in the mirror. I was so disgusted and angry with my reflection. I hated the girl that was looking back at me. She ruined my life. I looked around the bathroom for something heavy. I walked over to the door and picked the stop up off the floor. I walked back over to the mirror and threw the stop at my reflection. Glass shattered everywhere. I fell to my knees ignoring the pain of the glass.
I know I only told Edward those things for his safety. My life was too messed up and I didn't want to ruin his because of me. Edward still had a chance to be normal and I wasn't going to get in the way of that.
I grabbed a piece of glass and dragged it down my arm. I hated myself, I hated Charlie, and I hated everyone. My life wasn't worth fussing over. I wanted to end it so that Edward could move on and get over me.
The glass hurt but my emotional pain was far much worse. I looked down at my arm and saw the blood gushing out of it. For once I was glad that I get that I get light headed at the sight of blood. I could feel myself slipping away. I laid down on the floor and welcomed death.
(A/N: I thought about ending it there but that would make me a bitch and I am certainly not a bitch., p.s. I totally shed a tear writing that, gosh I am so emotional)
I could feel myself coming back into reality but I couldn't open my eyes. I heard voices around me.
"Carlisle will she be alright?" Edward's voice said.
"Edward, Bella will be fine. I am concerned about the bruises on her back though. Do you know how they got there?" the man named Carlisle said.
"Bella told me her father abuses her." Edward said and I could sense the anger in his voice.
"Why doesn't she do anything about it?" Carlisle asked.
"She thinks that no one will believer her because he's the chief of police."
"That's Charlie's daughter? I never would have suspected that he beats his daughter."
"Well, I believe her, when I met her yesterday she was about to commit suicide. She was screaming at the sky wishing for a normal life."
"So that's the girl you were telling us about?"
"Yeah, I really care for her Carlisle. I really want Charlie to pay."
"Edward you need to relax and focus on Bella, just make sure that she lives."
I finally had enough strength to open my eyes. I was in an unfamiliar room. There were bright open windows. I was in what looked like a hospital room. There was a curtain around me so I couldn't see Edward or Carlisle.
A minute later the curtain pulled back to reveal a blond man who looked like he was in his thirties, and Edward.
When Edward saw that I was awake he rushed over to my side. He pulled me into his arms. I couldn't help but breath in his scent, he smelled like honey and lilacs. I wanted to wrap my arms around him but the wires in my arms wouldn't let me.
"I'll give you two a minute alone," Carlisle said walking out the door.
"Why did you do that?" Edward asked me. I knew he meant the cutting incident. I was too ashamed to answer him. He would probably think I was some freak and never want to talk to me again. I knew that would probably be best for him, but I couldn't help but feel selfish and want him to stay. I turned my head to look down at my hands.
Edward put a finger under my chin and made me look into his eyes. That was a big mistake. His eyes were so beautiful and hypnotizing. Edward leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. He pulled me closer to him and put his hands on both sides of my face.
I reluctantly pulled away and looked away from his eyes. "Edward I told you before, I can't do this." I told him.
"But you lied to me Bella, you told me you don't feel the same way about me and you clearly do. Why would you lie to me?" Edward asked.
"Who said I was lying," I said looking back into his eyes.
"Bella if you didn't feel the same way why would you kiss me back?" he asked. I didn't answer him because I didn't know what to say. He was right. I was lying.
"Now will you tell me why you I found you in the girl's bathroom on a pile of broken glass in a pool of your own blood?"
"What were you doing in the girl's bathroom?" I asked him trying to avoid the question.
"You were taking a long time in the bathroom, so I excused myself to see what the problem was," he said. "I was walking by the bathroom when glass break, I contemplated on whether I should go in but that's when I heard you crying. I ran in and I found you on the ground. "
"You didn't need to do that after what I said to you. I'm really sorry I hurt you."
"Bella, it's okay because I know you didn't mean them, but why did you say that?"
"I told you that so you wouldn't get involved with me. I didn't want anyone close to me because anyone that is close to me is at risk of getting hurt because of Charlie. Alice is the only one who I can trust. I haven't told her but she is my only friend. I don't think that I could take it if you were hurt because of me.
"That's why I cut myself. I thought that maybe if I could get rid of myself you could move on and forget about me. I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me, especially not you. I don't know why but I care for you so much more than I should. I don't know you and you don't know me. I can't get you out of my head and a selfish part of me doesn't want to let you go." I told him.
"Bella I can't stop thinking about you either and I don't care about Charlie. I just want to be with you." He said.
"Edward you may not care about Charlie but I do. If anything ever happened to you because of me, I don't know what I would do." I said. I could feel the tears coming down my cheek. Edward brushed the tears away from my face.
"Bella nothing will happen to me." He said.
"I don't want to risk it," I told him.
"Bella I'm not going to go away, as long as you're there I won't leave. Just like you said, if I leave and something happens to you, I don't know what I would do." He said.
"But I can't be with you though." I told him.
"Well can we be friends then?" he asked.
I sighed in defeat, it seemed like there was no way for me get him to go away, not that I wanted him to. "We can be friends,"
He smiled his breathtakingly beautiful crooked smile and made my heart flutter. Just then a thought popped up in my head.
"What time is it?" I asked panicking.
"Don't worry, it's only one o'clock; school isn't out yet." He reassured me. I sighed in relief and I closed my eyes.
"I should probably let you get some sleep," he said. My eyes snapped open and I panicked.
"Will you please stay with me?" I asked him.
"There is nowhere to sit Bella." He said gesturing to the chairless room.
"You could lay with me," I said practically begging him not to leave.
He smiled and I moved over so he could fit in the bed. He climbed in the bed and I laid my head on his chest.
"If this is what you do with normal friends, what do you when you have a boyfriend?" Edward asked me and I could tell he was teasing.
"Edward you're ruining the moment, and what else could we do that normal boyfriend and girlfriend haven't done?"
"True, we have already had sex." He said as if it didn't matter.
"You say it like it's no big deal." I said a little offended.
"Bella yesterday was the biggest deal of my life; after all you were the first person I had ever made love to. It was… there are no words to describe the wonderfulness of last night." He told me and I smiled.
"I'm pretty sure normal friends don't have conversations like this. Alice and I never talk like this." I told him.
"If you did that would be pretty strange considering the whole girl, girl thing." He said. I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "And we're not normal friends."
Just then Carlisle walked through the door.
"Bella I need to speak to you about the bruises on your back" he said.
"I know Edward already told you about my situation." I told him.
"Bella we could help you, you don't need to live like this." He said seriously.
"No one would believe me. Charlie may not seem like he has power but he does. That's why my mother left." I told them.
"Why didn't she take you?" Edward asked me.
"I don't know she was there when I left for school one day but when I got back she and all her stuff was gone." I said.
A lump in my throat was forming and I didn't was to talk about my mother anymore. I buried my head in the crook of Edward's neck in hope that they would stop talking. They got the hint and stopped and Carlisle exited the room again.
I laid there in Edward's arms. I couldn't help but want to stay there. No matter how much I tried to convince myself to make him go I know I couldn't. I cared for him too much.
An hour late I was able to go home. I was having a little trouble getting my gown off because of the soreness. I groaned and cursed.
Edward knocked on the door. "Bella are you having any problems?" he asked.
"I can't get this stupid freaking gown of." I told him.
I heard him chuckle and then he opened the door and walked in.
"What are you doing?" I asked him.
"I'm helping you," he said going for the strings on my back.
I turned away him and looked at him like he was crazy.
"I don't think so," I told him.
"Bella do you want to go outside in a hospital gown with only your underwear on underneath?"
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Well maybe I don't want you to see me." I said in a childish tone.
"Bella, just in case you don't remember yesterday I already saw it and like I told you you're beautiful." He said.
I felt my cheeks betray me with their blush. Traitor! I yelled in my head at my cheeks.
Edward chuckled and continued to loosen the gown strings. He let the gown drop to the floor and I immediately covered my chest.
"Bella how am I going to help you put your bra on with your arms across your chest?" he asked amused.
I slowly let my arms drop and Edward's eyes looked over my chest before he composed his face. He grabbed my bra and I held out my arms.
He stood in front of me and slowly dragged the straps across my arms, his finger tips grazing my skin. His touch made me close my eyes and bite my lip. When the straps were on my shoulders he pressed himself against me as if to hug me and hooked the clasp to my bra. He didn't move when he finished he just stood there and held me.
"Edward you're crossing the 'just friends' line." I told him.
"Friends can hug cant they?" he asked and I could tell he was smiling.
"Friends can hug, but not while one of them is in her bra and underwear." I told him.
He reluctantly let go of me and grabbed the rest of my clothes. He continued with the slow motion teasing me.
"I think you rather enjoyed that." I told him when he was finished.
"I was just helping a friend out." He said and I could hear the mental quotes around the word 'friend'.
We walked out of the hospital and got into his Volvo. I felt a little embarrassed being in his car again, but at least both of us had our clothes on this time. I tried to keep myself from looking at the backseat but Edward caught me looking there once.
"Does it make you nervous to be in here with me?" he asked with a smirk but I could the undertone of concern.
"No," I said but I knew I was a terrible liar.
We pulled up to my house and neither of us got out.
"Do you want to come in?" I asked him. He nodded and opened his door.
He came around to my side of the car and opened the door. He helped me out of the car and we walked up to the front door. I opened it and we silently entered. I was thankful that Charlie wasn't home.
I led the way to the living room and we sat down. We sat in silence for a while and it was driving me crazy.
"Bella I know that you said that you just want to be friends, and I wanted to know what that entailed." He said.
"Like the dos and don'ts? " I asked him.
"Yeah," he said smiling.
"What did you have in mind?" he asked.
"What about this," he said leaning closer to me. He caressed my cheek and I couldn't help but lean in to his touch.
"I guess that's okay,"
"What about this," he said leaning even closer so that his cheek was pressed against mine. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me.
I nodded, in saying that it was alright. Then he pulled his face back to look into my eyes. His face was about a centimeter away from mine. I stared into his beautiful golden eyes. His eyes trailed down to my lips and then he looked into my eyes again. I bit my lip and looked at his lips too.
He exhaled bathing my face in his breath. I so desperately wanted to lean in, but I didn't want to make this harder than it already was. I couldn't help but close my eyes. I just wanted to live in this moment while it lasted.
The next thing I know Edward's lips are against mine. I didn't object and I just wrapped my arms around his neck and kiss him back.
What are you doing? Do you want to make this any harder then it's going to be? A voice in my head shouted at me. I ignored it because no matter how much it would hurt me later I was happy now.
Edward pulled my on to his lap and held on to me tightly before letting his hands run up my back under my shirt. I tangled my fingers in his bronze hair. I didn't ever want to let go.
Edward pulled away and I felt my lips form into a pout. He chuckled and pulled me against his chest. I sighed and didn't refuse. We sat like that for a while.
"I guess w can't be friends," I told him. He pulled me away and looked alarmed.
"Bella if this is about the kiss I'm sor-" I cut him off by putting my hand over his mouth.
"Edward that's not what I meant. I meant that we can't be friends because we can't stop doing this," I said removing my hand and kissing his lips again.
He brought his arms back around me and pulled me closer. I tangled my fingers in his hair again. I pushed my hips against his and he moaned. I smiled against his lips and he kissed me harder.
"Bella!"
I froze and pulled away from Edward and turned to the angry eyes at the front door.
A/N: Sorry I keep ending with a cliff hanger but they are important. So I want you guys to tell me which version of broken wings is better. I prefer this version over the first one because of all the drama. I love the fluff but drama just makes things more exciting. I loved the cutting part. (And before you start looking at your computer screen with a weird look and start calling me a freak. I am not emo but I do love a good emotional scene.) So have you guys guessed who it is? Review and tell me your guess.
Reviews are better than sex in the backseat of a Volvo. (Unless it's with Edward).
With All My Twilight Love, IWishIWasBella14 =]