Bobby belongs to Janet E. and I get nothing for this. Thanks to those of you who gave me the idea on this one. You know who you are. BMI aka Body Mass Index. Sorry for taking so long.

BMI Bobby

I heard the familiar swish emanate from the kitchen. I knew that signaled that I had a visitor.

Recently I finally accepted the fact that there was a worm hole in my kitchen directly linked to Trenton, New Jersey.

I was reading an article on worm holes to try and figure out how that happened. I looked toward the kitchen and Bobby Brown was standing there looking at me. He put his hands on his hips and started to ask a question. Then he hesitated.

"Are you Bobby Brown?" I asked, thinking that he looked like Janet had described him, only he was cuter.

I introduced myself. He nodded and stood there until it got uncomfortable.

"Can you tell me where I am?" he finally asked.

"Physically you are in Arkansas."

"I knew it had to be somewhere in the south."

"Why would you say that?" I asked.

"You have a pan of chicken and dumplins on the stove."

"I just made them. Would you like some?" I got out of my chair and started toward the kitchen.

"Uh, no dumplins are really not on my diet."

"Oh, so you and Ranger are both on the denial diet."

"Denial?"

"You can deny it all you want, but I can see it in your eyes. You want those dumplins."

Bobby laughed.

"OK, maybe a small helping. I can hit the gym when I get back."

I got a bowl and filled it and handed it to him. When I handed him a spoon he looked at me.

"What, don't you use spoons in New Jersey."

"Well, actually I would prefer a fork."

"All right but when you get to the bottom of the bowl you can't scrape up the good part."

I handed him a fork. He stood in the kitchen and ate the dumplins. When he emptied the bowl he looked at the stove.

"More?" I asked.

"Maybe a little. But you know that food like this isn't healthy."

"I have been eating like this my whole life."

"And sorry but it does show."

"I beg your pardon,"

"Do you exercise to offset weight gain?" he asked seriously.

I looked down at my stomach. I frowned. "Sometimes I walk to my car and back."

"You really need to be walking or jogging at least 3 days a week."

He opened my kitchen cabinet. "Look at all this food you have in here don't you read the labels."

"You need to throw away all this sugar filled cereal and snacks." I could tell he was getting on a roll.

"You should buy fresh fruit and vegetables and," he pointed at my case of coke sitting in the floor, "you shouldn't be drinking those at all."

"Not my cokes, you can't take my cokes away from me." I whined.

"Are you concerned at all about your health?" he said stuffing his mouth with more chicken and dumplins.

I was getting a little tired of Mr. Fat free healthman.

"Your BMI is way too high." He said and sat the bowl down.

"How can you tell?" I asked.

He walked over to me and pinched my side between his thumb and forefinger.

"See that?" he said. "I shouldn't be able to pinch that much flesh."

"You shouldn't be pinching my flesh anyway." I yelled at him.

He stepped back and blushed.

"Why didn't you just tell me I was fat?"

"Did Ranger tell you what I did?" I asked him.

"He said you were a writer."

"Oh, maybe I didn't tell him."

Bobby looked at me waiting.

"Hold on a minute." I said and ran out of the room.

I came back very soon with a box of gloves. Bobby frowned.

I pulled out a pair of blue gloves and snapped them on my hands.

Bobby raised his eyebrows.

"I was a Urologist." I said grinning from ear to ear.

"You examine my fat one more time and I'm going to examine you."

Bobby laughed but he didn't slow down on his way back to New Jersey.