Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything what you can recognize from the books. I do however own the plot of this story but I don't have profits because of it - unless you count improving my English as a profit.

Title: Dear Sirius: Nymphadora's letter.

Rating: PG

Words: 537

Warnings: angst, mentions of character's death.

Summary: Tonks writes a letter to Sirius after his death.

Author's note: It may be stand alone ficlet or a series that will depend from my plot bunnies immortality – if they have any of course.

Dear Sirius,

I know that it's weird to write letters to dead people since they can't write back but I need to do it, I need to say some things and it's easier for me to do it in a letter and then imagine that you will read it.

First and foremost I'm sorry Sirius. I'm sorry for failing your trust. You were so proud of me when you learned that I was an Auror, that I followed your footsteps. You believed in me, you believed that I can kick some Death Eaters ass and I... I failed. I failed when I shouldn't, in a moment you needed me the most. I failed and it costed us your life. It should have been me, not you, me. I was foolish enough to start duelling with Bellatrix, I should have knew that I won't stand a chance against her... But I still did and now you are gone...

I was injured in that battle as you know. I didn't knew what had happened till I saw Remus sitting on the chair next to my hospital bed. One look on his face told me more than words... You were gone... and it was my fault. Of course Remus never said that, you know him, he would never accuse anyone outright. It still doesn't changes the fact that you are gone and I'm responsible for it as much as Bellatrix.

I saw Harry when we picked him up from King's Cross, he told us that he was fine but even blind man would guess that he wasn't. Like part of him died that night in the Ministry and I think that I know what it was, remnants of his childhood. He is not a boy anymore Sirius. He is a man. He still looks like any kid his age but his eyes... his eyes are like eyes of a person who saw so much cruelty in the world...

It should have been me...

I miss you Sirius. I miss you old mutt, I miss tea with Firewhiskey and evening tales about Marauders. I miss your deep laugh... I miss your smile – it was so rear and yet it made us smile too. I miss the way your eyes sparkled when you were thinking about something mischievous. I miss my greatest friend whom I could tell everything and to whom I could turn to when I needed advice.

I need you now. To tell me if I should give up or keep going, keep fighting for my love, loving him against all odds, against his own wishes... Sometimes I feel like giving up but then I see his eyes and I know that I have to be patient, be strong and keep going... But sometimes it's so hard and all I want to do is curling in a ball and spending the rest of my life wallowing in misery and self-pity. I don't know what to do anymore Sirius. What you will do in my place?

I miss you, I need you, I love you my brother. I know that someday we will see each other and we will talk but till then goodnight my friend.

I'll miss you,

Nymphie