How to Dominate the World
A really funny Anti-Sakura fanfiction.
To warn you of the pairings:
Sasuke x Malina (the girl that is in Team Snake I forget her name, so I'll give her one).
Naruto Hinata
Ino Gaara
Shikamaru Temari
Itachi and Sakura near the end if I don't kill her
Obito and Anko/Shizune…whichever you guys vote on.
And so we celebrate the day Sasuke gets a girlfriend. We all celebrate, but Sakura. This is how it happened.
So I was strolling down the street one day
In the merrily, merrily month of May…
Haha…no..that's not the way it happened.
We decided to meet back at the really big tower in the Forest of Death. It was Sakura's ( Forget All Memories ) place. We decided a really big entrance was in order to startle her, so we went for the best laid out plan. Save Sakura from a fake bomb, then completely confuse her.
KABOOOOOOOOOMMMThe doors BLASTED open, as Sasuke ran through, shielding Sakura from…well nothing really.
(Give them credit, it WAS a dramatic entry)
His Sharingan was turned on, and he SEEMED very angry. Sakura just whimpered.
(I wish I had a camera! That was so funny, you so should have seen the look on her face…)
A girl's voice booms across the tower where the last Chunnin exam was held about 5 years ago.
"HAHA" her high pitched evil laugh was heard.
"Gaara…your sand gourd thingy is so COOL!!" a girl, black hair, bangs, front hair shorter than everything else
(Cool hairdo really)
a black miniskirt with fishnets and ninja shoes, torso was also covered in fishnets and just a tube top that only covered her breasts, which, as you can guess, was also black. EVERYTHING about her was black besides the Uchiha crest on the back of the tube top and her grey eyes.
"MALINA!!" Sasuke shouted in pure anger!
The girl's laughs continued as she took no heed of what he said.
That's when Sasuke broke down laughing. He ruined everything. Of course, my gallant entrance was yet to come, so he didn't ruin it COMPLETELY…
Malina and Sasuke went to the side lines, both laughing their asses off as yet another Uchiha stormed through. Uchiha Obito…Sakura was completely confused.
"Moron…I told you NOT to use the Sharingan…" Obito's voice was concerned.
"I could go blind…I know…" Sasuke said between laughs …."But that was SOO worth it…"
Obito just shook his head as the two Uchiha's laughed.
Itachi then appeared behind Sakura. She gulped and turned around.
"Hello sweet pea…" he smirked, lust filled eyes to the core.
"H--hi" she sputtered.
Itachi dropped the act, and laughed himself, "You're too easy Sakura…" and he walked away, picking up his ringing cellphone.
Then it was my turn.
"Sakura, you ok??" my voice was concerned, my eyes filled with worry, my mouth twitching to laugh, my inner self and Kyuubi laughing our fucking asses off.
"Oh Naruto…" she said in such a sweet and helpless way I nearly puked.
Then she hugged me…when she let go, she looked over to Malina.
"That girl…"
"What about her…" I could tell this was going to be good.
"Who is she…?"
"Why, Sakura…" I said in mock surprise, "Don't tell me you didn't know that was Sasuke's fiancée??
Her eyes widened with shock.
"Come back to Earth Sakura…he never loved you…"
(It would have been cool if "he never loved you" echoed through her mind)
"Sasuke-kun…" she looked at him.
Gaara cracked a smile. Then he started laughing as well at the following.
Sasuke came down to her, "You are too late Sakura, and you have waited too long…"
"Way too long, he's mine now…" Malina showed her the crest on her back, and then stuck out her tongue.
"And he'll never be yours…" Obito sighed, running towards the blasted doors.
"Never…" Itachi repeated, disappearing.
"Now I SHALL DOMINATE THE WORLD!!" I gave an evil laugh … and smirked a good-bye to Sakura.
"Gaara…" I heard her voice as I jumped away, "Not you too…"
Gaara looked at his watch, "SHIT! I gotta go on a killing spree!" Gaara snorted as he flew away on his sand.
"SASUKE !!" was the last thing heard as we all floated away from the pink haired retard.
Now that was the BEST prank/truth thingy we had ever done.
Back at a random park, we saw Ino and Hinata sitting patiently waiting for us at a bench.
Ino stood up for Gaara to sit, and then she placed herself in his lap, and Hinata and I did the same. The rest of them sat on the floor, Sasuke's head in Malina's lap as he lay on the grass carpet.
"I told you this would work…why does everyone doubt my pranking abilities…" I whined.
"We DON'T!" Obito sighed. "But now that we pranked Sakura, what do we do?"
"TAKE OVER THE WOOOOOORLLLD!!" I did my whole "evil ruler" voice acting.
"So what do we take over first?" Ino asked.
"Konoha…?" I looked a little confused, and everyone laughed.
"Fine…but who do we kill first?" Itachi asked, playing with a kunai.
The skies darkened as another evil laugh escaped.
"SAKURA!!" a thunderbolt hit me. The skies cleared, and everyone was visible once again. Everyone was laughing.
"Ok, this is so not funny…" I muttered.
My black form (The sizzled, and ash covered me) walked to the camera.
"CUT!!" a voice was heard in the back ground as the camera went black.
For a split second, the camera was turned on again.
"Dear Viewers," Malina appeared and giggling from the rest of us was heard in the back ground, "This was the first chapter of how to PROPERLY" she sent me an evil glare, "dominate the world," her smile returned as she faced the camera.
And the camera went black again, a little defensive statement heard, and a lot of laughter.
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I hope you like this. Please comment! No comment no update.
October Mysteries