Rowdy Rough Boys Watch The News

By Shadowgate

….

The Rowdy Rough Boys were at their hideout in the woods at night. They all washed up under a hot waterfall and washed their clothes and hung them out to dry. They brushed their teeth with their favorite tooth pastes and rinsed with Listerine Mouth Wash.

Brick said "hey know any other little boys who are tough enough to rinse with Listerine?"

Butch and Boomer cheered.

They went into their cabin with towels wrapped around them and they had a small television hooked up to an electric power line. No free cable though. Brick didn't care to hook up an illegal cable wire because he knew now days if you did that you'd be stealing worthless crap.

The first news story talked about a man who was killed instantly by lighting a firecracker on top of his head and setting it off.

All three Rowdy Rough Boys laughed their asses off.

Boomer said "hey he doesn't have chemical X like we do. Oh and after what he did I'm no longer title holder of dumber than the dumbest Brick."

Brick said "holy shit that's for sure.'

The news reporter went on to say the grieving mother of this man wants fire crackers regulated.

Butch said "new regulations for bottle rockets. When you go up to the fireworks stand the man selling them to you at the stand will tell you that you should not launch them off your head. He will also tell you not to play a game called launch a bottle rocket into your friend's mouth by having your friend stand with his mouth open and you aim it and launch it."

Brick and Boomer laugh.

"The fireworks salesman will tell you not to launch the bottle rocket at your neighbor's car. It will hit your neighbor's car and cause a lot of damage."

Boomer said "it will blast your neighbor's car to the moon and your neighbor won't be able to get it down."

Butch and Brick stop silently for a moment.

Brick says "it's a bottle rocket not a NASA rocket ship so it won't send the car to the moon it will damage the car."

Boomer says "oh."

Brick went on to say "your stupid comment about the bottle rocket sending the car to the moon calls for a punishment."

Brick slaps Boomer in the back of the head and he yells "OWE!"

Brick said "now just relax and understand why you were punished and that we're brothers so I do love you Boomer."

Boomer gives Brick a little smile.

Butch said "hey did you hear about those parents in South Carolina who made their daughter live in the woods for eating a pop tart?"

Brick said "well yes I did. The press calls it evil and I call it stupid. Since when is a pop tart so precious you'd send someone out in the woods for eating it without permission? She lived in the same house her parents did. This wasn't evil, this was an act of pure stupidity even though the cops call it child abuse. Hey I hope the cops just shoot them."

Butch said "it was more than child abuse, it was child endangerment and there was no benefit to this stupid selfish evil act. When we do something evil it's to get logical benefits. Like going after the Powerpuff Girls!"

Butch and Boomer yelled "BINGO!"

Boomer said "hey since we're on the subject of the news. I'll bet we'd all make the news if we were to throw off the towels covering us and run through Townsville naked. We'd get our pictures in the paper for sure."

Butch and Boomer yelled "FUCK YEAH!"

They carried out their plan.

The next morning the Powerpuff Girls were all sitting at the breakfast table ready to eat before school.

The professor said "I hate to tell you ladies this but there's some really bad news in the paper."

Bubbles asked "did the mayor pass away? He was old?"

The professor said "no um it was about a crime that was committed."

Buttercup said "well what kind of crime? Were tons of people killed by one person?"

The professor said "no it was a crime of indecency. Three rude little boys decided to go out last night in Townsville and they wore no clothes whatsoever."

Buttercup said "well I hope the three little boys get in big trouble with their mommy's and daddies."

Blossom said "Buttercup I just figured out the names of the three little boys and they don't have mommies and daddies that would ground them like other little boys do."

Then it hit Buttercup, "oh no it was them wasn't it?

Bubbles said "I knew once the professor said three little boys went out last night with no clothes on it had to be them."

The professor asked "there are actual pictures of the boys in action if any of you want to see them."

Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup all say "NO" at once.

THE END