Disclaimer: I don't own anything...except maybe my notebook filled with notes.
Warning: I'd keep an open mind because I am random and I just might throw in all sorts of weird things.
Dear Headmaster Albus Dumbledore:
The Ministry of Magic or rather the Department of Mysteries has been experimenting due to the peace treaty developed between our world and the magical creatures nearly five centuries ago. Now, that treaty conditions must be enforced or else the British magical world will collapsed from a series of magical creature revolts or rebellions including Goblins, Gargoyles, House-Elves and Centaurs.
This experimentation includes how certain magical creatures work in different social dynamics. We've come to realize that the following magical creatures work and develop especially well in familial situations:
Veela
Elves
Werewolves
Triton
The other above mention (Goblins, Gargoyles, etc) are still being studied in a safe and responsible environment. We still do not know what the affects of wizard magic will have on such unpredictable magical cores. Therefore they will not be used in this particular social experiment.
All we ask of the staff of Hogwarts of Witchcraft and Wizardry is to consider our experiment and reply to us no later than June 1st.
Sincerely,
Nemo Greyhaven, Head of the Department of Mysteries
Alfred Grimes, Head of the Department of Communications
Dear Misters Greyhaven and Grimes:
I am writing you to inform you that Hogwarts has come to a decision on what to do with this experiment you are proposing. We have decided to enact a new sort of class that fourth years and higher will participate in.
Before you protest, the Headmaster has come to this decision in hopes that Hogwarts students will either use protection in their sexual relations or won't have sex at all. He has been very worried about the current up rise in teen pregnancies among both witches and wizards.
We await your approval.
Heads of Houses of Hogwarts:
Minerva McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor
Pomona Sprout, Head of Hufflepuff
Severus Snape, Head of Slytherin
Filius Flitwick, Head of Ravenclaw
Dear Heads of Houses:
Although we are slow to accept, we have agreed to allow this. However we have certain conditions that must be fulfilled.
The conditions as such are:
1. All students caring for children under the age of nine will be monitored at all times.
2. Magical beings under the care of Hogwarts students will have routine weekly check ups performed by a St. Mungo's healer.
3. Students must attend daily parenting and first aid classes.
4. There must be enough house-elves to care for all infants at any given time (such as during a class like Potions).
5. All students must be partner with at least one other person in order to care for one child.
6. Students will be given small living quarters that connect to their neighbors and to their head of houses quarters or offices.
If these conditions are not followed we will pull all magical creatures under the care of the British government from your care and cut Hogwarts funding.
Sincerely,
Nemo Greyhaven, Head of the Department of Mysteries
Alfred Grimes, Head of the Department of Communications