Once long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
There was a girl named Bella. She had an insanely hot boyfriend named Edward, and he was a vampire.
One day, Edward was walking down the street, when an incredibly stupid boy named Mike hits him over the head with a rubber chicken, and K.O's him. Then, he sprouts chicken wings and flies away.
Bella, watching this embarrassing scene, goes "Wtf?!?" because Edward supposedly can't sleep.
Just then, this boy named Jacob comes over, and because he despises Edward, he starts taunting him mercilessly. "Eddie-poo got knocked out! What a wittle baby…"
BOOM!
Bella picked up Edward and K.O'd Jake.
Just as she was setting Edward back down on the sidewalk, she noticed that her father, Charlie, was in a dead faint on the ground. He had seen the entire thing, and was scared s!!!less. He had landed in a pile of dirty sweat socks that Mike had scattered all over the floor.
Mike came back to collect said socks, and noticed the disturbing scene in front of him. He repeated Bella's words of wisdom "Wtf?!?", peed himself, and fainted on top of Charlie.
Just then, a little leprechaun named D.J. comes over, and lectures everyone about Ginger Kids and Daywalkers. Bella is pissed off, so she takes him out, too.
This time, when Edward is used as a weapon of mass destruction, he awakes and Lean Like A Cholo starts playing. He grabs Bella, and they start to break dance.
Suddenly, Alice Cullen and her family appear, and change the disembodied music to Barbie Girl.
Edward gets pissed, so he gets into a colossal catfight with his brother, Emmett. He is mysteriously in a pink dress, which has the name Alice Cullen on the label.
Suddenly, another leprechaun named Tiffany jumps in, and starts singing Umbrella in an off key voice, which breaks glass. Everyone covers their ears and screams bloody murder.
Then, Bella's mother appears with a machine gun, and takes out everyone except Tiffany, whose voice disrupts the time-space continuum, and acts as a permanent, indestructible shield.
Tiffany is still singing.
Under my Umbrella.
Ella.
Ella.
Ella.
Bella wakes up, and is all "WHY IN HELL ARE YOU SAYING MY NAME?!?"
Tiffany says, "Shut up, Daywalker!"
Bella faints from Daywalker overdose, and everyone lives happily ever after!
Except Charlie, because he wakes up, and everyone is dead. So he jumps off a cliff. But then everyone wakes up…
THE END!
A/N: Gotta love those completely random IM conversations... Anyways, my friend and I made this up in the span of 5 minutes, so don't bother flaming. It's not worth your time. Comments ARE appreciated, as this is my first fic! Thanks, and have a WONDERFUL day, my fellow Twilight worshippers.