Breakin' Up is Hard to Do by patricia51

(Melanie's back! And she and Freddie are getting close. Really close. Why do Sam and Carly feel a bit strange about this? Could it be that they feel jealous? Couldn't be. Could it? So they come up with a plan to get Freddie back. Freddie/Melanie. My thanks to CheatingAtMonkeyBall who gave me the idea of the pairing.)

Freddie Benson stood frozen with his mouth so far open he wondered if it might have actually hit the floor. Only his eyes moved. They went back and forth from the figure seated on the couch in Carly's apartment to the figure standing beside it. They went back and forth so fast he was sure they must be clicking each time they jerked to a halt.

"Told you he'd react that way," commented the figure standing beside the couch in the smug tone that drove Freddie up the wall, along with pretty much everything else that Sam Puckett ever said or did.

"Oh stop it," the figure on the couch laughed. This time Freddie smiled even as his mouth proved it could fall open even more than it already had. Giving a mighty effort he closed it, knowing that given time Sam would find something to stick in it; something he wouldn't enjoy having there. But for once he really didn't care what Sam did. His gaze settled on the girl on the couch and stayed there.

"Melanie?"

"NOW do you believe us?" Carly Shay giggled from where she was perched on the stool at the kitchenette, her back turned to the laptop open on the counter behind her.

"There really IS a Melanie," breathed Freddie, the tone of his voice indicating that he was half afraid the neatly dressed attractive girl on the couch would vanish if he took his eyes off her.

"Why FREDDIE," Sam said, holding her hand to her chest and pretending to gasp for breath. "You managed to get us to confess. There is no Melanie. It was always me. Don't you remember?"

Freddie did remember and remembered very well. He remembered taking Melanie to the dance. He remembered holding her hand. He remembered her complimenting him on his shirt and telling she thought he was really cute. He remembered challenging her to dance with him and how happily she had accepted and led him to the floor.

Freddie remembered how she had felt with his arms around her waist; how her hands had been clasped at the back of his neck with her fingertips just barely toying with his hair. And above all else he remembered her eyes twinkling as she asked if Sam would do this and before he could ask what she had brought her lips to his.

The kiss had lasted only seconds but Freddie would never forget it. Even being sure it was Sam and being slightly freaked out that she would go that far in the game to fool him he had loved the kiss. It had been warm, sweet, everything he had always thought a kiss should be. And it had really been Melanie!

For a moment the world went gray and he swayed on his feet. Then a soft but firm hand was on his arm and he was guided to the couch.

"Sit down before you fall down," instructed Melanie as she assisted him to do just that and then resumed her seat, which put her right beside him.

"Thanks," replied a dazed Freddie. He looked at the girl next to him and then at the broadly grinning faces of the other two girls. "Well, you really DID get me. It just wasn't the way I thought."

"Actually," laughed Carly as she plopped down on the couch on the other side of Freddie," it would probably be more accurate to say that you got yourself." She turned her attention to Sam's twin sister. "Melanie he has occasionally mumbled about not really being sure that you were Sam but when challenged he always stuck with the idea that we were tricking him."

"No wonder, the way the two of you are always teasing him," reproved Melanie but a twinkle in her eyes showed that she appreciated the joke.

"Since you're going to be around a lot more now Melanie you might as well get used to it," Sam chimed in. "In time you'll probably realize what a dork wad he is and join in the fun."

"Never," said Melanie firmly. She squeezed the hand that somehow had already found its way into hers.

Freddie made no attempt to pull his hand away this time as he had the night of the dance. But what he seized on was the first part of Sam's last comment.

"You're going to be around more?"

"Uh-huh. The boarding school I was attending is closing down but luckily the foundation that offers my scholarship was able to get me transferred to Briarwood."

"I didn't know that Briarwood took boarders," said Carly, who had once been offered a scholarship herself to the elite private school. Or are you going to live at home?"

Sam and Melanie looked at each other. "Not hardly," they replied in perfect unison, reminding the other two that they were, after all, twins.

"We'd drive each other crazy in days," said Melanie.

"Possibly hours," agreed Sam.

"No. Because I'm not the only student from the Seattle area looking for a new school Briarwood has already acquired a building to serve as a dorm. They've already done most of the conversion needed and found two married teachers that are more than happy to move into rent and utility free housing with their families. So it will all be set by the time I need to move here at the end of the month."

Freddie sighed. "That's three weeks. It's a long time."

Melanie laughed merrily and bumped his shoulder with hers. "Up till just now you didn't even believe I existed for sure and now you can't wait for twenty one days for me to come back?"

"Nope," Freddie grinned. "Now that you're real I don't want to let you go."

"We'll keep him busy, don't worry Melanie," said Carly with a wide grin but a grin marred by a slightly troubled look in her eyes that Freddie couldn't quite decipher.

(Three months latter)

"And we're clear!" Freddie reached to one side and tripped the switch on the computer console before putting the hand-held cam down in its place. "Great show both of you. Sam, you were a scream! That pie-fight idea was hilarious. I bet the ratings go through the roof."

"Are you going to stick around and see?" asked Carly with the air of someone who already knows the answer to her question.

"No, Melanie and I have a study date at the library." He looked at the time on the computer. "And if I don't hurry I'll be late. No telling what kind of guys I would have to fight off if she was there all by herself."

"Yep, nothing worse than a ravenous mob of geeks," Sam said.

Freddie laughed. "You're right Sam." He donned his jacket and picked up his book bag. "Latter. See you at school in the morning."

After the door closed Carly and Sam went to the apartment proper. They dug through the refrigerator, settled down on the couch and looked at each other.

"This has got to stop," declared the dark haired girl.

"I know!"

"Freddie never spends any time with us. He's always with your sister."

"No matter what I pull on him anymore he just laughs it off or ignores it. And he's avoiding some really great set-ups. Melanie must be tipping him off somehow," Sam grumbled.

"And he's always talking about Melanie. Melanie this and Melanie that and how pretty she is and how smart she is."

"He's always studying with her or going to the movies or going to some dumb play or concert or something. He never hangs out here anymore. And she never comes to see iCarly; the show or the rehearsals."

"And Mrs. Benson is LETTING him go all the time. What's up with that?"

"She's so excited because his grades keep going up and up. It's like he ENJOYS studying now. That's just plain weird," declared Sam who hadn't seen the inside of a school text book in living memory.

"What if..." Carly trailed off, a near panicked look on her face.

"What if what?"

"What if his grades get so good they offer HIM a scholarship to Briarwood like they did me? Like they did Melanie."

"He'd never take it," Sam declared. "Would he?"

"A chance to be with her all day? He'd jump at it. He'd leave us behind in a moment."

"What can we do about it?"

"We don't have a choice. We have to break them up."

"But how?" Sam demanded. "Melanie declared that Freddie was 'adorable' after they first met when he didn't even believe who she was. Now it's even worse. The few times I've talked to her she now thinks he's 'completely adorable'. And as for him, I've not seen him so puppy dog in love ever; not with Shelby or even with you."

"I know," said Carly softly.

The pair sat silently for several minutes before Sam abruptly sat up straight.

"I've got it!"

"What?"

"It's so simple. Melanie just has to break up with Freddie?"

"Sure, but how?" objected Carly. "We just agreed that..." A wave of Sam's hand cut her off. The blonde teen got the crafty look in her eyes that more than once had spelled doom for an unwary victim.

"He just has to THINK it's Melanie breaking up with him." Sam fluttered her eyes and grinned.

"Oh my you ARE wicked!" Carly marveled. "Do you think you can pull it off?"

"Of course I can," Sam declared. "But I'm going to need some help."

The two girls sat down and planned, discussing what all they needed to set up to pull this off. When they were satisfied they had everything covered they parted.

As Sam headed out the door Carly called her name.

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Are we doing the right thing?"

"It's all for their own good," Sam said firmly. "We need Freddie back and Melanie needs to find someone on her level, preferably at Briarwood."

(One week latter)

"I told you he couldn't tell us apart," laughed Sam as she collapsed on to Carly's couch.

"I do have to admit you really look like Melanie." Carly admired the red dress, the pantyhose and shoes that made up a perfect outfit. She had helped to put Sam's hair up in one of Melanie's favorite styles. The resemblance was perfect.

"This is the same outfit she wore when he still thought she was me and challenged her to do to that dance with him. And the same hair-do. And make-up. I knew that picture of her that day would come in handy somehow."

"So, did you let him down easy?"

"Of course I did. I held his hand and all but blubbered as I told him that I didn't mean it to happen but I had fallen for someone else. And that hurting him was never in my plans and I was so sorry. And for him to please try to understand it when I asked him not to contact me again. It would just be too painful to hear from someone as nice as him and remind me of how guilty I felt about the whole thing."

"And what did Freddie do?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably a bit on the couch, showing that, like Carly, she really wasn't quite as sure as she protested that they had done the right thing.

"He took it hard, but that was expected. He did tell me he understood, that he had never expected to find someone as special as me, I mean as Melanie and that he would respect my, her, wishes and not contact her again. Then he got up and well, shuffled is the only word I can think of, out the door. But he didn't cry or anything like that so I think he'll be okay."

"So Freddie is taken care of," Sam rushed on to change the subject a little. "How about Melanie?"

Carly produced a cell phone. "This is the clone of Freddie's phone that I borrowed and had duplicated. Before I gave it back to him I blocked Melanie's calls and text messages. They come to this one now; as long as she uses her phone to call or text him of course. There have already been two calls and three text messages asking where he was tonight. The calls went to voicemail. I finally sent back one short text asking her to be patient, that I, he, Freddie that is, would explain everything tomorrow. Golly this being someone else is confusing!"

"I know," agreed Sam.

"Anyway tomorrow when we're sure we have Freddie somewhere safe I'll send this text message telling her that I, Freddie, can't go on being two-faced and that he has realized that he's always loved Carly, me, and that he's going to try to win me back and please try to forgive him but no contact, blah, blah, too painful, blah, blah, I'm so sorry and all of that."

"Sounds good. And we ll have Freddie back here where he belongs. And I'm sure my sister will get over him in a hurry too,' said Sam hopefully. "After all, he's just a techno-dork after all."

"Uh-huh," said Carly, forcing a confident note into her voice.

(Three weeks latter)

Carly tried to keep from biting her nails as she watched Freddie slowly and glumly drag himself out of the room after the iCarly rehearsal. It was the same as he had acted every day since he thought Melanie had broken up with him. She looked at Sam who looked back and shrugged helplessly.

They had Freddie back but it was like all they had was the body. At first they had assumed that he would be upset of course but that he would get over his being dumped in short order. After all, he always had before.

But that wasn't the case now. In fact every day seemed to see him worse off than the day before. He hung around with them yes, in fact barely letting them out of his sight during waking hours but there was no spark in him. He performed alright during rehearsals and broadcasts but all his work was as mechanical as a battery powered robot; with a battery that was steadily running down. He offered no suggestions, no corrections, and no remarks positive or negative.

Sam acted out, making him the butt of jokes that brought absolutely no response from him. Carly, in near desperation, tried flirting with him, even going so far as to kiss him on the cheek one day. Nothing. He simply didn't seem to care about anything.

The door closed behind Freddie and Carly s shoulders slumped. Sam came back in to the room, looking just about as bad as she felt.

"My Mom called."

Carly KNEW that wasn't good. Sam and her mom had developed a closer and better relationship after their enforced time together but that relationship was still pretty weird in a lot of ways. For her to call was never a sign of great news.

"She got a call from Briarwood," Sam went on. "It seems Melanie has been cutting class, talking back to teachers and ignoring homework and all her assignments. They warned her that if this keeps up she'll lose her scholarship."

"Well," Carly groped wildly for something to say, "You always wanted her to be more like you."

Sam gave Carly her evil eye. "That's not funny."

"I know," sighed the other girl. "Sam?"

"Yea?"

"We screwed up. Freddie's miserable, Melanie's miserable and we're miserable too. We have to fix this."

"How?"

"We have to get them together and confess what we did."

"Do we have to? Couldn't we just get each of them a puppy or something?"

"Sam!"

"Just an idea." It was the blonde's turn to sigh. "Okay. When?"

"Friday after school. Say about six o'clock. I'll get Freddie here and you bring Melanie."

"Oh boy."

(Friday night)

Carly ushered Freddie down the hall, firmly steering him away from the door to his apartment.

"Come on Freddie, you need to see this."

"I really don't feel like it, whatever it is," the boy replied listlessly.

"Please Freddie. This will help you and also help me too."

"Okay," he replied without enthusiasm.

She gestured him to go first, which turned out to be a wise precaution. The moment he stepped through the doorway he stopped. His gaze had locked onto an equally glum and uncomfortable Melanie sitting on the couch.

The slight gasp Freddie let out alerted Sam's twin, who rose to her feet and looked around the room as though to find someplace to flee. Sam was standing by the other door with her arms folded so Melanie settled for looking daggers at Freddie and snapping out "What's HE doing here?"

"Rest assured that whatever is going on it wasn't my idea," responded Freddie with more enthusiasm than Carly or Sam had seen since the break-up. "I was perfectly willing to abide by your request that I never see you again."

"MY request? You're the one who texted me to say that he never wanted me to contact him again!"

"Texted? Me? Why would I do that after you told me face to face you had fallen in love with someone else? Someone 'better suited to you' were the words as I recall."

By now Melanie and Freddie were practically nose to nose and the situation was completely out of hand. Carly did the only thing she could think of to do. She screamed.

"Shut up, shut up SHUT UP!" When the two near-combatants looked at her in amazement she added," and sit down."

"Sit down NOW," Sam reinforced Carly's command, coming over to stand with her best friend.

"Please," added Carly. "We have something to tell you."

Melanie and Freddie sat down, as far away from each other as they could and still be on the same piece of furniture. They then studiously ignored each other, both with their arms folded over their chests.

"What?" finally asked Freddie after a long minute of silence.

"This isn't easy," Carly said, "but we have a confession to make."

"A confession?" asked Melanie. "About what?"

Carly took a deep breath. But before she could start Sam blurted out. "We tricked you both."

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Freddie, Melanie didn't break up with you. It was me dressed up as her."

"And Melanie," Carly took over, "Freddie didn't text you breaking up with you either. We cloned his phone and used it to send you messages and to block you from calling Freddie directly."

There was a pause. "I don't understand," said Melanie, puzzlement filling her voice.

"Don't you get it? We broke the two of you up."

"Oh no," Melanie said surprisingly. "I got that part right away. What I don't understand is why you would do that."

"Exactly," added Freddie. "Why? Maybe Sam I could understand but you Carly? Why would you hurt us like that?"

Sam opened her mouth to give Freddie a lecture but stopped and looked embarrassed. "I guess I deserve that. But I didn't realize that it would hurt you that bad, either of you. I know I pretty much do what I want and tend not to worry at all about others but when you have to live with the results day after day even I can get guilty. And you should know that Carly had her doubts about the whole thing before hand and is the one who insisted we try to make things right."

"That's great but if you had doubts why did you go ahead with this Carly?" asked Freddie. "I thought you were my friend. I thought both of us were your friends."

"I know and I'm so sorry!" Carly wanted to burst into tears but kept herself under control.

"So once again, why?"

"Because we were selfish," replied Sam. "We wanted Freddie to ourselves. We wanted it to be the way it always had been. I know I make Freddie the target of a lot of stuff but I felt like he was MY target and everyone else should have their hands off. And believe it or not I kinda wanted my sister around more and I wanted her attention to be on me."

"And we felt like Freddie didn't spend enough time with us," added Carly. She held up her hand. "I know, I know, that's pretty silly. When we've dated boys we never felt guilty about spending time with them."

"And we thought that you could have hung around more Freddie, even with Melanie. You never brought her to rehearsals or broadcasts. We're just used to having you here; the third leg of our tripod and we wanted you back."

Freddie nodded. "I understand that. A little. But as for bringing Melanie here, remember how much trouble we had with Josh hanging around all the time? I just thought it would make less trouble if Melanie and I didn't hang around here together."

"There's one more thing," Carly said. She paused, taking a deep breath and steeling herself to reveal the secret she hadn't even shared with Sam. "This isn't even fair in the slightest but I was jealous."

"Jealous?" Freddie and Melanie chorused together in surprise.

"I know, I know, I KNOW." Carly began to pace back and forth. "I've always known, well, everyone has known, that Freddie has had a crush on me. Before Melanie of course. And I always insisted that you and I were never going to be more than friends Freddie. I meant that and I still mean it. But it was good for my ego to know how you felt and," here she looked really embarrassed, "I missed that and I missed having you in my pocket. I know that's incredibly selfish but I could always think of you as a back-up. And I let that become more important than you being my friend."

"Freddie, Melanie, I am so incredibly sorry that I..."

"We..." interjected Sam as she stood next to Carly, who was no longer pacing but rather standing before the pair on the couch.

"Did this terrible thing to two people who mean a lot to us. We," Sam nodded vigorously in agreement, "hope that the two of you can get past this, for each other and also for us. Please, if you can't forgive us now, hold out the hope that you may be able to forgive us one day in the future."

Melanie and Freddie looked at each other. They continued to look. The silence became unbearable.

"Will you two say something!" burst out Sam.

The pair on the couch nodded to each other. They slid together and Freddie took Melanie's hand in his. Then they looked at the two girls in front of them and Melanie spoke.

"Sam, Carly..."

"Yes?" Carly's voice trembled.

"Gotcha!"

Mouths dropped. Eyes bugged out. And Melanie and Freddie started laughing. They laughed so hard they threw their arms around each other to stay upright on the couch. And once their arms were around each other they hugged each other close.

"Whatttttttttttttttttttt?" screamed Sam.

"Oh GOSH I don't think I could have held on for another moment," moaned Freddie, who was still chuckling.

"Wait a minute, what's going on?"

"Oh Sam, maybe at one time I couldn't believe that you had a sister. Maybe at one time I thought it was all a trick and couldn't tell you apart. But Melanie and I had been dating steadily for over two months by the time you tried to fool me. I knew it was you before you even opened your mouth."

"I played along because I wasn't sure if it was just a prank you were pulling or if it was something deeper. But as soon as I left I called Melanie on the phone in her dorm. We were actually talking when she got the first text message supposedly from me telling her I was breaking up with her. After that it was just a matter of seeing if it was all Sam or if you were involved in it too Carly."

"Once we figured out it really was both of you we strung it out to see if we could find out two things," chimed in Melanie.

"Which were?" asked a dazed Carly.

"To see if you would realize what you had done. Or would have done had you actually broken us up. Would you be sorry for it and even more important would you confess what you had done and try to fix things."

Sam turned to Freddie. "So all your mopping around was just an act?"

"Not entirely," he replied. "I really WAS upset that my two best friends in the world would do something like this to me."

"And someone I thought of as a very good friend and my twin sister," interjected Melanie.

"Wait a minute!" exclaimed Sam, looking at her sister. "If you knew, then what was all the business of your skipping assignments and cutting class at Briarwood?"

"Oh I never did any of those things," Melanie answered with a grin. "I just fed you all that stuff."

"But how did you fool Mom?"

"Who said she fooled me?" came a raspy voice.

Sam and Carly spun to face the front door.

"Mom!"

"I know who I am," Pam Puckett grinned cockily.

"You were in on this?"

"Yep. From the first night when your sister and Freddie here came to me to tell me what's going on and to get my help." Pam turned serious. "Sam, didn't we work this all out between us? I know we're not any kind of picture perfect family but we're trying now and part of that is not running around breaking up your sister and her boyfriend."

Sam nodded sheepishly. "By the way, how's your doctor nowadays?"

"He's fine and happy that it turns out I wasn't run over by a bus."

Carly looked at the three conspirators. "You really got us. But I guess we deserved it."

Freddie smiled at his two friends even as he and Melanie continued to hold hands and to snuggle closer together on the couch. "I remember how bad Sam and I acted when we thought YOU were going to Briarwood. You forgave us. Even if I could ever stay mad at you, and that includes you too Sam, mostly anyway, you are two of the most important people in my life and I can't help but n forgive you."

"And you Melanie?" Sam asked tentatively.

"You're my sister." Melanie laughed a high silvery laugh. "Maybe, just maybe once in a while you'll think before you do something. Freddie, and I too for that matter, promises to spend more time with our two best friends." She assumed a mock fierce expression. "And from now on, both of you, hands off my boyfriend!

"I promise," vowed Carly, echoed by Sam.

But Freddie and Melanie didn't hear the promises. They were too lost in each others' arms and when they started to kiss Pam firmly took Sam and Carly by the arm and guided them out of the room

(The End)

(While casting around for a decent title for this (I went through four previous choices, none of which were very good) I remembered the title of this old song by Neil Sedaka from my youth. It fit nicely.)