{[|.~LeFT 4 DeaD~.|]}
[Crack] [Spongebob's "Night Shift" Parody] [Starring: Nick & Ellis] [T, just because of their mild cussing and the kinda grousome stuff Nick makes up]
Summary: Nick and Ellis are doing the night watch while Rochelle and Coach are going to sleep. Tired of Ellis' optimism, Nick decides to make up his own special infected to scare the boy. What happens when the signs of the Screamer begin to happen to them...?
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_~ NiGHT WaTCH ~_
"We're gonna be doin' the night watch!" Ellis grinned, his small smile turning into a wide grin. Nick sighed. He hadn't gotten enough sleep for the night. He never gets enough sleep. He didn't hold his patience with Ellis as usual, he instantly snapped at him. "Yeah! Sure! It's great." He grumbled, flipping through a month-old magazine.
What was worse about this was the fact that Ellis wouldn't shut up about killing those damn things. He shot a zombie from a distance and realized, "I'm shootin' zombies!" Then that stupid next line came. "...At night." He reloaded and he said, "I'm reloading my gun–at night."
Of course, Nick couldn't stand it, but he knew he had to let the kid have his fun. Even if it meant a massive migraine all night until they slept. Well, until he fucking snapped.
"ELLIS! Listen!" He shouted, making sure not to wake the woman and the older man in the next room. Ellis paused in his happy dancing, turning to Nick. "Yeah?" He asked, a crooked smile on his face. Nick smirked. "You hear that?"
Instantly, Ellis' face grew scared. "Hear what?" He cowered in that Southern drawl of his. "What do I hear...?!" The conman feigned fear, "That... that growling! It almost sounds dead...!" He gasped, inwardly laughing his ass off. The mechanic held up his gun. "A hunter? A smoker?" He winced, still scared but trying his hardest to appear tough. Nick shook his head, "No, it's too deep... It sounds like a growl while some sick ass bastard is... drooling..." Ellis audibly swallowed his saliva. This was so easy it was almost sad.
"You know... I think I know what it is... Have you ever heard of the... Screamer?" Every single word he said was as stretched out. The conman was content, a sadistic smile growing on his face the longer he looked at that mechanic's frown widen, his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, and the moment he saw Ellis' eyes glazed with fear, he nearly cried out of pure bliss.
"The... Dreamer..? The Creamer.. Feemer... Bleamer... Treamer... Keamer... Seamer..." Ellis muttered, looking down. Was the "Screamer" so hard to say? Nick, tired of the (cute) attempts the mechanic made, finally said, "Yes, dumbfuck. The Screamer."
"First– you'll hear him drooling, and you might even see him walking..! The mere sound and thought was enough to make one survivour slice his own ears off and gauge his own eyes out..." He explained, making shit up as he went. "That same survivor bumped into him! The Screamer isn't able to move, because he wears a straight jacket, so he runs away," he explained.
Ellis shivered in fear, making Nick chuckle extemely low, not loud enough for anyone to hear. "Second, once you bump into him, he runs away. He can't kill anyone, but his plans are genius." The mechanic nodded, wanting to hear the story, though he was obviously scared shitless.
Nick looked around. Hell, he was kind of scared, then he realized it was his own little zombie so he had nothing to fear. "And finally... He'll hide. That's not all he does, though. He screams! His scream attracts a horde, and then all of the zombies will tear you limb from limb and eat your meaty flesh!"
Ellis screamed, shivering very visibly in fear. His covered his eyes, continuing to scream. He didn't even take a breath after four minutes! "Ellis- Ellis- ELLIS!" The boy paused for a moment, looking up at the man. "It was a joke! I made it up!"
"Really?" Ellis asked, tilting his head. The conman rolled his eyes. "Yes! What kind of zombie screams and attracts a horde?" The mechanic grinned, then began to laugh.
And laugh.
And laugh.
AND. LAUGH.
Nick was tempted to smack him upside the head until the lights when out. "What the fuck?!" He shouted, flinching when he felt Ellis grip his arm tight. "Huh..?" The man gritted his teeth, shaking his arm out of the boy's grip. "Let's find out what shut out those lights," he grumbled.
Ellis nodded, and Nick could barely make that out through the darkness. Nick stood up, Ellis following close behind. "Do you hear that..?!" He questioned, gripping his gun tightly. The boy jumped, looking around. "What, what?!" A moment of silence passed before Nick pointed something out. "That drooling... that growling..." He could hear it, and he knew Ellis could, too.
Both men frowned and gulped hard. "A... screamer... The signs..." He tried to remember. The intensity of the moment was making him forget! "One, you'll hear him..." He heard Ellis' gun go off. "ELLIS?! What the fuck?!" He screamed, yanking Ellis' overalls back. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"I saw something!" Ellis replied, dropping his gun. Nick gasped. "Two, you'll see him..." He felt a dripping on his head. "Three, the ceiling with pour with an unknown liquid...!" He shook his head. "No, it always does that... But what was that third thing?"
The Louisianan shrugged, smiling a bit, he backed up, and bumped into something. That something just ran away, whilst he screamed. "NICK! Nick..!" The mechanic gasped, shivering, making Nick look over. "What- what is it?" The hick smiled, hugging Nick.
Was he scared he was going to die..? "I... can't believe you'd go through all of this... just to entertain me... Dressing up like a zombie and telling me a scary story... You must really like me!" No, of course not.
Nick sighed. "There are two things wrong with your shitty logic. One, I HATE you. Two, how the hell can I be over there if I'm right here talking to you?!"
"Ooh..." Ellis stopped, looking at the area the unknown figure was in. Both of them exchanged looks before screaming, "THE SCREAMER!"
The both ran across the room, falling over the couch. Both of them held onto eachother tight, their grips almost constricting as the figure approached them. Nick looked over at the mechanic, a small smile on his face. "Overalls, before we die, I want you to know... I've always sort of liked you!" Ellis teared up, gripping tighter. "Nick, I used your suit as a towel after a shower after walking through the swamp!" Nick frowned, looking down. "..What?!"
The lightning flashed, and then the lights went on. The figure looked familiar... "Y'all know where the bathroom is?" The voice asked, wrapped up in covers and drool all over his face.
Both Nick and Ellis let go of each other, their faces red. They both pointed at the door. "Over there." Nick paused. "If Coach was walking around, and he was drooling.. Who turned off the lights...?"
Rochelle was standing at the doorway. "It was too bright in here. I couldn't sleep." Ellis smiled, rolling his eyes. "Rochelle!" He said in a sing-song voice. She was so silly.•
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AC: So, yeah. I watched old Spongebob episodes one night with my sister, and we were talking about how well that episode would fit with Nick and Ellis, especially the "You must really like me!" scene. XD
But anyways, that's all there is to it. Most of my stories are unedited, but I'll get to them later, okay? I was really in the mood for some crack, that's all. XD