This is my first fanfiction, so I'm a little nervous. I probably won't add anything too sexual since I'm not too good at writing scenes like that, but yeah. It's a Dawnguard related fanfic, so I'll probably be going over the events of that a bit with a twist. Also, sorry about it being short, future chapters will be longer. So I hope you guys enjoy the story. Also, I do not own the characters or setting or what have you, that's all Bethesda.

Edit: It's the start of 2018, and now that a lot of things in my life have worked out, I decided to go back through this story and just edit mistakes I see and then finally finish this story.

Chapter One: The Beginning

Sometimes there's a moment in your life where everything changes, where your whole reason to live changes. I've had two moments like that, and I didn't ask for either of them. I didn't ask to become this, or… her.

The things in my past, things I love, things I regret. Some of it is so vivid, but I was just a little girl, I don't remember much about my life in Whiterun when I was a child, just the horrible thing I did, and what I almost became, the monster I was destined to become.

My family used to work at a farm near Whiterun, I was around eleven at the time. We didn't want to live in the city due to my magic; I had developed it at a young age. I would accidentally light stuff on fire, or even freeze things.

No one in Whiterun really appreciated magic, I can only recall that a few did. When people found out, well we weren't exactly outcasts, but some people were cold to us. When I started getting bullied by the other kids, that's when the problems started.

The worst one was an Imperial kid, his name was Salyon. He would always try and get me angry, to make me use magic, I think he got some kick out of it or something. I may have hated him, but I regret what happened to him.

One day he really got me mad, he threatened me, told me he and his brother would burn down my family's farm. I finally had enough of him; I was going to make him pay. I held out my right hand, fire arose from it, crackling and spitting. I focused hard, and the fire encircled into a ball, then I simply threw it at him.

The ball of fire hit his chest and like magic, his shirt was engulfed in flames. As he frantically tried to save himself, it hit me... panic. What had I done? What would happen now? I killed an innocent person and the memory of that haunts me to this day. I had never felt that kind of remorse, I had never hated my being that much, and I felt darkness inside me.

My parents argued with the guards, they told them that I was a child; I didn't know what I was doing. They were right, I had no control whatsoever over my magic, just a scared little girl, confused about what was happening to me… and why.

The people of Whiterun didn't think that way though. They thought I did it intentionally, that I was a monster, some evil child out to destroy, out to terrorise. The people wanted to see me killed for what I'd done. I didn't know what to believe, I thought I was good, but I could feel it, I could feel the darkness.

That's when my family fled Whiterun, to keep me safe. We headed South-East, in hopes of reaching Riften, like that was any safer. The place was full of thieves, skooma dealings, and who knows what else? But hey, who was I to complain at that point? I had no right to.

But that's not one of those moments; well… in a way, it changed me. It changed my location, the people I met, but not my reason to live. The first moment came much later, a few years to be exact. After I had spent some years in Riften and my family got settled, my life got a little better.

Wylandriah, she's the Court Wizard in Mistveil Keep. She was actually nice to me, she taught me a bit about controlling my magic. Kind, but forgetful, but I didn't care, no matter how frustrating it was. Thanks to her I had a better grip on magic, I was nowhere near good, but I wasn't half bad. It was because of her teaching that I survived this long.

And that's where my first moment comes in; it had been about four years after my family arrived in Riften. Wylandriah had been teaching me for about eight months since she discovered I was magical. Funny story though, I accidentally lit a wooden path on fire after being startled by some people yelling about a thief, but that's not important now.

I was working at an alchemy shop in the city, Elgrim's Elixirs. Hafjorg, Elgrim's wife, told me that their shipment of ingredients hadn't arrived. She stated that she and Elgrim had to stay in the shop and if I could go to the docks and check when the delivery would be there.

I then arrived at the docks, spoke to anyone I could find. I was informed that no deliveries had arrived that day. What luck, the ingredients weren't even in the city. I didn't want to go back empty handed, not after all the trouble I caused Elgrim and his wife, no one did like that they were helping me.

Hours went by as I waited at the docks. Sure there were deliveries that showed up, but none were for the store. I was more than ready to return with bad news. The sun was already setting, disappearing as the sky above it gleamed with golds and oranges, surely a breathtaking sight.

It was then that I noticed a shady Argonian headed for the woods near the docks. I had seen the man all day, whispering amongst people, always watching over his shoulder. I wanted to know what was going on, but of course, I was no assassin or thief or what have you, so my sneaking wasn't the best. Regardless, I had to follow him. Something just… something about him seemed off.

I was right to follow him, or so I thought at the time. What I overheard was pretty big news, skooma dealings, and a lot of it. I was against skooma, it ruined lives, so I wanted to stop it. Yet, I did say I wasn't good at sneaking. They spotted me, and then it was lights out.

When I woke up, I didn't really know where I was. I realised it was nightfall, and that I was still in the woods. I didn't know why I was still there, and I couldn't have been prepared for the answer. When I got up and looked around… the bodies. Argonian and even some Nord and Khajiit bodies littered the grassy floor.

I stood and walked over to one of the bodies, it was covered in claw and bite marks. It wasn't some random animal attack though, it was too savage, and the claws were too big. I then heard rustling, my hands glowing with flames in anticipation of the monster that did this. What do you know? That's exactly what I got.

A giant wolf jumped at me; I ducked, sending flames above me. It landed with a yelp, but now it looked annoyed. It was now in clear view… and that's when I knew I probably wouldn't make it out alive. I knew exactly what this was from books Wylandriah had.

It had dark brown fur all over its massive body, its claws clenching ever so slightly. Teeth bare and breathing unsteady, I could tell this thing wanted me dead. Its yellow, piercing eyes were staring right at me. I knew I had to go, and I had to go now.

I ever so slowly stood straight, my left hand started to freeze as I concentrated the icy mist in my palm. The creature stared at me carefully, and then I had to strike. I threw the ice at its legs, I then turned and ran, hoping the ice gave me enough time to get some distance, I knew I couldn't outrun that thing.

My fears were met when I heard it howl, and then its rugged breathing as it caught up to me. It leapt at me, I dodged to the best of my abilities, but I was too slow. That's when it happened. My whole reason to live changed when that thing sunk its teeth into me.

My whole right shoulder ached as its sharp teeth penetrated my flesh and it brought me to the ground. I didn't want to die though; I had a family that cared about me. We rolled a little and it let go, but soon got back up to end me. I wasn't going out like that; I waited for it to close the distance. As soon as it was close enough, I yanked my right arm up through the pain, sending a bolt of fire into its face.

The thing wailed in pain as its flesh burnt. It backed up, but I was far from done. My arm then flickered with electricity as I charged the current. I outstretched my arm as bolts of electricity bursts out sending the wolf into compulsions. It howled in pain, but I couldn't stop, I had lost control. Soon enough, this thing… this werewolf… this person… was dead. It's lifeless body dropping to the ground, still buzzing with electricity.

I fell back, sobbing, remorse filling my very core. Flashes of Salyon filling my mind, guilt overcame me as I laid there in the grass. After everything I did to control the magic, after everything I went through to try and forget… it was all undone.

I wandered the woods after that, trying to get home. I eventually saw Riften in the distance, that feeling of finally being safe after my ordeal… I'll never forget it. The sheer joy of seeing that city, my city, my home, knowing I can see my family and friends again.

My family, they were so worried. They fussed over me, but that's when they saw the bite… they were shocked. I told them an animal attacked me, and that I didn't see what it was. I couldn't tell them, I couldn't tell anyone. I knew enough about werewolves to know what this meant.

As expected, I spent the next few nights in pain. The teeth marks had healed quite rapidly, but the pain inside me, I knew I caught Lycanthropy. The pain of feeling this… this disease inside me, changing me, making me a truer monster than I could have ever been.

It cost me so much, the first time I turned… the pain, feeling my muscles contract as they took a new shape. The first transformation, it was definitely the hardest. The power though, I felt such power, a power I didn't think was possible… just pure strength, brute force.

My family had watched in terror as my body shifted, as I became a monster. They stood by me through everything, my magic manifesting, the first time I had killed, but seeing them… seeing them with utter fear in their eyes. I felt like a monster, I felt remorse, I felt helpless in my own darkness.

I had to escape, I ran past them, crashing through the front door of our home. Citizens spotted me, screamed, called me a monster, called the guards. Some people drew blades and charged me, but with newly heightened senses it wasn't that hard to dodge them.

Soon enough I was slamming myself through the city gates, dodging the arrows that came from the guards in the city, and at the entrance. I ran into the woods, using the shadow of night to hide… and then I looked back, for the last time before hearing a guard yell 'over there.' I continued into the woods, knowing this was now my life.

Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, it's sort of just to test the water. If this goes well I'll start doing my best to keep to a weekly schedule. Any review is welcomed, even if you hate it, I don't mind. Thanks again for reading my first chapter.