I wrote this because I was exetremely bored, I have no idea where I wanted to take it or anything, so I guess it's just about how Santana feels inside, it's a complete AU story and has nothing to do with the show, I hope you enjoy it and please, please review! I'd love to hear if you like it or not!

I do not own glee, unfortunately! :(

There's always that one girl in your class, big geeky glasses, braces, freckles, a little awkward, shy, doesn't have the best clothes, isn't very popular and just doesn't really fit in.
Well I was her, I had one friend and she was only my friend because she was too nice to ignore me, she was the best singer in the class and that made her popular, she got all the parts at the school plays and people thought she was cool, she was pretty, and even though she wore clothes that were different people thought she always looked beautiful.

I don't know why she was my friend, I was the biggest geek in the class and no one liked me, I never had a boyfriend and I was always picked last for team activities.

My school life was a misery, until High School that was, I vowed to myself that the last day of Middle School would be the last day anyone called Santana Lopez a geek. I was going to William McKinley High and I promised myself that I would fit in. Rachel, my only friend was going there too, and I always told her that we would be the two most popular girls in school that all the boys wanted and that everyone looked up to. I wasn't all that wrong, just half wrong.

Because as soon as I got my status and she got hers, we parted ways, I was nowhere near as nice as she was and I finally made it to the top and I was never coming down.

I liked it far too much

-XX-

I changed so much I didn't even recognise myself anymore, in the summer before High School, I got my braces removed and I changed to contact lenses and threw my glasses in some drawer in my room, I begged my mom for some money to change my wardrobe and she agreed, she never took much interest in me, but I managed to persuade her somehow, my baggy jean soon changed to mini's and skinny jeans, my dirty old trainers, changed to the hottest boots and pumps I could find, and I bought a drawer full of makeup that took the place of my old sock drawer, I even changed my underwear, no more granny pants for me. I bought a straightening iron and changed my hair from the old to fuzz to a sleek look.

My whole attitude changed, I wasn't going to be the little shy girl anymore, and I wasn't going to take any crap from anyone, Santana Lopez was going to become a bitch, I watched a movie, and it said the only way to survive in the world was to bitch your way through it, and that is exactly what I am going to do!

And I will have any guy I want, believe me when I go to High School there won't be a guy who won't want me, and I can just pick and choose whoever I like.

-XX-

I remember the first day of High School like it was yesterday, As soon as I walked through the doors I knew I belonged, everyone looked at me and right there and then I got the title of the queen bitch and I loved it. And when I saw the cheerleader try outs it was like fate, I made the squad and made friends with Quinn and Brittany and we would go on to rule the school.

It felt so good having so many people want to be friends with me, it felt good picking on other people instead of the other way about, those snobby girl that used to tease me where always my main target, I would just tell the football team who I wanted to be hit with a slushie, give them ten minutes and bam, some stupid girl slushied, it felt so good to finally be in the power seat of my own life.

There was one down side though, Rachel Berry. She wanted to be my friend so badly the first week of school, she would come to my house in the morning to go with me, but I would send her on and tell her I wasn't ready and would meet her there, and then I would just walk past her in the corridor and link arms with Brit and Quinn while the glared at her, I felt bad, but I couldn't go back to the way things were before, she wasn't cool here, no one liked her. No one cared if she could sing or not, and neither did I. She wouldn't try out for the cheerio's, and they were the popular girls, I would rather be here with them, than alone with her.

She always looked at me as if I hurt her so bad and that she was begging me to come back to her, but I couldn't. I hated the way she always made me feel guilty, so I gave the orders one day for her to be slushied, and Matt Rutherford took care of that for me, and every day since she got a morning slushie facial and I laughed at her, instead of looking at her face, feeling guilty.

And what I promised myself came true, guys wanted me. The thought I was hot and one my first week of school I had already made out with three of the hottest guys ever. It was surreal to me, guys wanted to be with me and I got my first kiss, well three kisses in 5 days. But it didn't stop there, guys wanted more they wanted sex, I had never even been close to that before and I didn't know what to do when this one guy, his name was Lee, asked if we wanted to go further, I didn't want to say no because to be honest I did want to go further. He seen that I was a little scared and he told me it would be alright, I reluctantly agreed and we did it, and well I actually liked it.

From that day on I've never said no to a guy, Lee will always be kind of special to me, being my first and all that, but I never went out with him again after that, I learnt to play the field and never get attached, something one of the older cheerleaders told me, so I never did. I never went on proper dates with guys, I never really dated them, we would just have sex and then he would buy me food, it turned into a bit of a routine, and always a different guy, it kept things simple, he got his needs dealt with and I stayed happy too.

That was until Noah Puckerman came along, Puck was well different, the sex was amazing with him and although he treated me like dirt, I liked people to know he was mine and I was his, we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend or anything like that, but people knew that he was my territory and to stay clear, otherwise you would get on my bad side, and people didn't like my bad side. I was always a bitch, but when you wrong me, I'm a super bitch.

We weren't one of them loved up couples, we wouldn't walk around holding hands or go on dinner dates to gaze into one another's eyes, we had sex, a lot and made out even more, we were just kind of friends, with a lot of benefits.

But one thing I hated was cheaters, when you're with me doing whatever you don't go with any other girl for sex, that's a big no no, make out with whoever the hell you like, but hop in bed and your history. I knew Puck flirted and made out with a lot of other girls, and me well I had Brittany, but he never slept with anyone while we were whatever we were.

We broke up, although I don't know if you can call it breaking up when you aren't actually in a relationship, but that's what we did anyway, and he would sleep around, he even got Quinn pregnant, and was I surprised, she always give Brit and me a whole load of lectures about waiting for the right time when you're married and all that Jesus crap, and she was the first one to get preggers? That's when everything started.

I carried on sleeping around and after the sprog was born and then given away, Puck and I went back to the old ways, we were a little more serious this time, we even tried to the whole dating thing, although it always ended up in the back of the car or the bedroom, I still didn't consider him my boyfriend, in my head I did, but I would never tell anyone that.

I remember one day the girls were all having a meeting about something, I think it was to do with Kurt or whatever, but I wasn't invited, and then Berry (We weren't friends or anything, we were just in glee together, sometimes I wanted to kill her, I can't believe we were actually friends once) told me it was because I didn't have a boyfriend on the football team and that was what the meeting was about, and I informed her I was dating Puck, it was something Quinn said that got me thinking, "You and Puck aren't dating, your just getting naked" or something along those lines.

So that's what people thought of me? I'm only good for getting naked with guys? It never hurt before when people called me a slut, I got it on a daily basis, but when I really thought about it, what was the good in what I was doing?

What if I ended up pregnant like Quinn? I couldn't look after a baby, and I would feel bad getting rid of thing after getting into the mess myself, I was different from Quinn, it wouldn't be just a walk in the park to hand my own baby to some stranger, deep down I did have feelings, unlike that robot who only cared about her reputation.

So I decided I wanted more.

-XX-

Puck came to my house every Friday when my parent weren't home and we would foul around and then he'd go home, but this time it was different.

I opened the door and let him in and he immediately started kissing me and trying to undress me, but for the first ever I stopped him "What are we doing?" I said sighing a little as the words came out

He looked at me puzzled, He probably thought I was losing it or something "I know what we're doing, but I don't mean having sex I mean why? What are we? Are you my boyfriend or are you not? I just don't know where my life is anymore"

"Were nothing, were just here to fill each other needs, we've never been anything to each other, that the way you wanted it, that was your one rule"

"I know, but maybe I want more, what if I did? Would you still be willing to be with me? To go to the movies with me, and talk and stuff, and not just have it all about the sex?"

"Of course I would, Santana do you think I'm just here to get all I can from you? Do you think I don't care? Because if didn't I wouldn't be here, I would be off with someone else, someone new and not the same old thing every time, I'm here because I like you and I think we kind of have something special, I never said anything because your rule was no strings attached, and I didn't want to give us the strings you didn't want, I could be with you like this and take what you gave me, or I could be completely without you, and I didn't want that"

"So really we could have been officially and properly dating this who time?" I said with a laugh, we really were meant for each other; we were both stubborn and stupid

"I know the way you role San, you're not into all that romantic crap, but you want more than just sex, I always say that your beautiful and I know you like that, and I always buy you dinner before we have sex so that it's kind of like a date, and I always put a movie on so we can sort of watch it and feel like it's a bit of a date too"

"So you've been tricking me this whole time then?" I said, with another laugh

He nodded "I guess" he laughed too

"I did notice those things, but I just thought you were trying to be a stud or something with the beautiful thing, just to try and get the sex quicker"

"Well that did help" he laughed and I hit him playfully, something real couples do

"So we can be a couple? And you'll love me? The way I am and not want me to change or be different? And if I do ever change you'll accept me?" I sounded like all those other girls I tried not to be, and you know what it wasn't that bad; maybe this is where I fitted in, because I didn't have to try so hard to be this person

-XX-

The next week and school, Puck and I strolled down the corridor holding hands, I found my old glasses and give my eyes a break, I changed the cheerleading uniform for a pair of skinnies and a plain shirt with a pair of flat shoes, and I had never felt more like myself.

In glee I was even nice to Rachel, talking and laughing with her about the videos of the old days I found in my drawer when I was looking for my glasses, giving them to her to watch.

Everyone stared at me that day, like I was a new student, but I never said and thing to them, not a rude comment tell them to stop staring or a threat to get them to look away, I just smiled at them as they passed, looking up at my boyfriend who looked proud.