Author's Notes: Holidays gone wrong - Yautja style!
I tried to make this as standalone as possible for anyone who isn't familiar with the full story (you can find it in my author profile). For those of you who are familiar: This short story takes place much earlier in the time line with only Val'jek, Amelia, and Mah'sic.
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A human Christmas was difficult to manufacture on a Yautja space ship, but she gave the task best effort. Amelia surveyed their improvised Christmas tree. "It's missing something."
A lot of something in truth. The fat turquoise leaves looked nothing like a Douglas-fir's needles. The leaves and branches were trimmed into an ideal shape, but the vibrant color distracted her.
She didn't dare complain. Val'jek, her Yautja mate, had traveled to two different planets to chop down trees himself. This was their second. The first had looked remarkably similar to a pine tree, but gave her an allergy rash. Grumbling, Val'jek had seen to its disposal and brought her the current alien tree.
Mah'sic, Val'jek's unblood son, chirped like a small bird. "What is it missing?" The unblood surveyed the tree beside her. His pensive expression and tightly closed mandibles reminded her of his father.
She hummed. "I'm not sure."
The unique ornaments were probably a vegan's worst nightmare. Animal bones, small skulls, and holiday shapes made from skins, dangled from the branches. She had painted some red, hoping for holiday cheer, but now she realized the bones looked . . . bloody. At least Val'jek's silver dreadlock trinkets almost passed for real ornaments.
"A tree topper," she said. "We need a crowning decoration to sit on top of the tree."
"What should we put up there?" Mah'sic asked.
Drawing her attention, Val'jek trilled behind her. Amelia had to crane her neck to look up at his seven and a half foot tall stature. With three hundred pounds of pure muscle, the scenic route to his face was no hardship. His toned belly and broad chest mottled from a creamy gray into a deep brown. Long black dreadlocks draped over his shoulders. The lines of gray streaked through his hair was the only sign of his advanced age.
He clicked his mandible tusks, drawing her attention to the four crab-like appendages surrounding his mouth. They had frightened her at first, but now she watched them to read his moods.
"I have something." Her mate hurried to his private lab in the adjoining room.
The only things kept in his room were scientific equipment and his extensive trophy collection. Since his culture revolved around hunting, she dreaded what would adorn their tree.
Amelia practiced her fake smile, plastering the pleased expression on her face. "Don't be a human skull. Don't be a human skull. Don't be a human skull," she chanted in her head.
Her mate returned, a white object in his large black claws. Of course.
She was too afraid to look at it directly. "Please don't be human," she murmured.
Val'jek set the object on the top of the tree, a small branch poking from an eye socket. "Is this satisfactory?"
The polished skull grinned down at her from the top of her ten-foot-tall Christmas tree. The improvised tree topper had one too many eye sockets. Large, round, and full of fangs, Amelia couldn't identify the species. Relief made her sag. It wasn't human.
But it was still a skull on her tree. She bit her tongue and forced a smile.
Val'jek didn't quite grasp Christmas, but he made the effort for her benefit. Yautja celebrated milestones and promotions, not holidays. She did her best to describe Christmas, and her mate was doing his best to please her, but there was a cultural disconnect. It was the thought that counted she reminded herself.
"Yes, it's," she struggled. "Unique."
"What does the tree symbolize exactly?" Mah'sic asked.
"I have no idea, but it's quintessential, I promise." She shrugged. "It was fun to decorate, right?"
Mah'sic chirped his agreement. The unblood had hunted several animals to make their ornaments.
Val'jek had appeared happy, if a little perplexed, to help make giant snowflakes and candy canes out of animal skins. He chuffed, not quite an answer. "Does the tree please you?"
"Very much." She pressed against his side, wrapping an arm around his waist.
Her mate chirped, his mandibles fluttering. "Then I am pleased too."
Mah'sic clicked, tapping his tusks together. "I still do not understand the purpose of the Christmas."
She struggled with another explanation. "Christmas is really about family and showing your loved ones that you appreciate them. The commercial aspects are fun too though."
Val'jek's brows narrowed and his head tilted to the side. "I appreciate you every day."
"I know. It's just a special day to emphasize giving. Think of it as an excuse to take the day off and have fun with your family." Her mate was probably a lost cause, but she tried anyway.
Mah'sic trilled. "Oomans have many of those. I researched more of these holidays and they have one in which they dress in costumes."
"Why would you dress in costume?" Val'jek chirped at her.
"Halloween, we dress up for, uh, something about keeping away evil spirits originally. These days it's for fun. Children visit neighboring houses in costumes and are given treats. It's also about being scared in a way. Lots of horror stories."
Val'jek tilted his head again, graying dreadlocks swaying. "I do not understand."
She smiled. "One holiday at a time."
"How many holidays will we celebrate?" Val'jek scowled and his mandibles tightened, closing over his mouth.
"Only a few, I promise." She craned her neck and stood on her tip toes.
Her mate accommodated their two foot height difference and leaned down, accepting her quick peck on his lower mandibles. "Do they all involve trees in our quarters?"
"No, just Christmas. I promise."
Val'jek nodded, a silent agreement to endure more of her human traditions. "What do we do with it now?"
"Admire the festive beauty," she said.
Val'jek made a rasping noise in his throat. His mandibles tightened, twitching.
"How about a Christmas story? That might give you a better idea of why I like the holiday." She tugged her mate to the sofa, hoping to ease some of his annoyance.
Mah'sic followed. He never turned down an opportunity for more human lore.
"We'll start with the story of Santa Claus." Amelia recounted the children's story of the man who became Saint Nick.
Both males sat straighter, listening with rapt interest. Mah'sic tilted his head and chirped in several places.
Val'jek made a few rumbling noises, scowled, and his mandibles flared more than once.
She was certain her mate hated the story and wrapped up quickly. "So now Santa Claus climbs down the chimneys and leaves presents for little boys and girls every year."
Mah'sic tilted his head and his brows lowered, a picture of what Val'jek likely looked like as an unblood. "Sucklings?" It was their word for small children.
She nodded.
Her mate stiffened. "This is why you celebrate Christmas?"
"Well, not exactly. It's more about family, but Santa is an important part in regards to children." Amelia sensed the misunderstanding, but couldn't put her finger on what the problem happened to be.
Val'jek stood, towering over her. He growled, then he jerked away, stalking to their bedroom.
She hurried after him. "Wait, I didn't mean to offend you."
Mah'sic trailed behind, chirping and clicking in a flurry. "May I join you, Elder?"
"Remain with Amelia," Val'jek ordered over his shoulder.
Deflated, the unblood trudged back to the sofa.
In their bedroom, her mate yanked his weapons and hunting armor out of his storage rack. His rigid posture spoke volumes about his mood and he grumbled inaudible nonsense in his own language.
Alarmed, she followed him around the room step for step. "What are you doing? You can't leave on Christmas." Her mate had left on hunts to blow off steam before, but never because of her.
"I will bring you his skull. If I hurry, his trail will be easy to locate. I will return in three cycles, four at the most."
"What?" She covered his claws with her hands, stilling his rush. "I don't understand. Who? What trail?"
"The bad blood," Val'jek insisted. Bad bloods were dishonorable Yautja, criminals, hunted down and killed with extreme prejudice.
She stared blankly at her mate. She wondered if Yautja could become senile. Her mate wasn't young by anyone's definition. "What bad blood?"
"Santa Claus. I will bring you his skull." Her mate nodded, as if he made perfect sense. "His claws too, if you wish." His offer appeared to be made in earnest.
She gaped. Her mate was senile. Definitely a few screws loose at least. "You can't kill Santa Claus, Val'jek."
He stiffened and his mandibles spread wide at her challenging words. "I have defeated better prey. Honorable prey, worthy of the hunt."
"No," she stammered, "I mean yes, you're a great hunter—"
"I will return with honor." He growled, retrieving more weapons. "You will accept my gift."
She could imagine him finding any number of poor men dressed up as Santa. They wouldn't stand a chance against Val'jek, and the rules of combat didn't apply to bad bloods. Armed or not, if Santa was deemed a Yautja criminal, Val'jek would take his skull. And her mate planned to give it to her.
She shuddered. "I didn't mean that to be patronizing. It came out wrong, but you just can't kill Santa—"
"He is bad blood. He preys on suckling." He growled at her again, slamming his hunting chest plate on the bed. "You cannot ask me to remain idle."
"Preys on sucklings? What on Earth are you talking about? Oh!"
She had been stupid to forget his culture in the rush to recreate a human holiday. Yautja gifts were reserved for mates. When a male gave a female a present, usually a skull, copulation was the result. Santa was a sex offender to her mate.
"Oh, Val'jek, you're so sweet, but Santa Claus isn't a bad blood at all. He's not even real. He just brings presents to children in the story. I forget that gifts are reserved for mating to Yautja." She sat down on the bed, relieved. "He's the good guy, the symbol of good will and charity."
"Santa Claus is not real?"
She stifled her laughter, imagining how many children said the very same thing once they were old enough to understand. "He was once, sort of, but that story is probably very different from the Christmas tale."
Val'jek sank down beside her, brow rising and mandibles relaxing for the first time that night. "An Ooman legend?"
"Yes." She twined her fingers with his claws and gave him a gentle squeeze. "Presents aren't about mating to us either. We just give them to be nice or to show we care. It's very noble of you to want to protect human children though."
His mandible tusks clicked, ticking several times. "There are no dishonorable relations with sucklings?"
"No. He just leaves them presents under the tree. In reality parents are leaving the presents, but they say Santa brought them. It's sort of a 'be good on you won't get presents' ploy." She brushed her cheek against his bicep, and she sighed with relief. The Santas of the world were safe.
He huffed and stood. "Oomans are strange."
Hunting expedition canceled, Val'jek returned his weapons to storage, movements calm and meticulous handling his prized possessions.
"Speaking of presents, you got Mah'sic something, right?" She hadn't seen one under the tree for the unblood.
Val'jek paused.
She bit her lip. "He got you a present. You have to get him something."
He chirped. "I did not realize."
"Give him one of your weapons. He'll appreciate that, right?" All Yautja seemed to like weapons. They were groomed for hunting from the cradle.
He shook his head. "He's not blooded. He must earn weapons and armor. What do Ooman's give their offspring?"
"Toys or things they want," she said offhand. "What about something in the lab? He loves your palm console scanning-thing."
"I need that." He tilted his head. "I will get him one of his own."
"You have to wrap it too." She grabbed a spare scrap of leather and pulled out the string tying back her auburn hair. "Use these."
He accepted the offering and dragged her into his arms. Lifting her off the floor, he smashed her against his chest. "I do not understand your customs, but," he paused, mandibles clicking together, "Merry Christmas."
"I love you too, and Merry Christmas." She nudged his mandibles aside.
He locked the pointed appendages over her cheeks, and a soft purring rumbled from his throat.
She kissed his mouth. "Now go before Mah'sic suspects something."
Her mate nodded and hurried away for last minute holiday shopping. It wasn't a Christmas she'd ever forget. She was going to have nightmares about Val'jek butchering Santa Claus.
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Thank you for reading!