Prompt #1 - asparagus

Summary: Because you just can't ask nicely, you have to use force when it comes to eating healthy.

Warnings: Hidan says it all.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Sakura, a beautiful girl with pastel-pink hair and green eyes was currently shopping in a supermarket. Surrounding her were ten men who were all handsome in their own way. This made her unapproachable from the start.

People weren't surprised when they saw the Akatsuki with Sakura. It was normal for them to see her with the good-looking group, but others tended to stay away unless they wanted to get melted down by furious glares.

The Akatsuki members were protective when it came to their own, specifically Sakura. She was their precious blossom who brought happiness in their life. It wasn't any surprise when all of them volunteered to go food shopping as long as they got to spend time with her.

Kisame pleaded to Sakura, "Can we go to the fish market too?"

"Sure Kisame." Sakura looked at him and smiled.

Kisame inwardly cheered. Woot! The fishies!

"Sakura-chan yeah, can we buy these chips? It's 2 packs for a dollar," Deidara gave Sakura a puppy-eyed look.

Sakura pursed her lips, knowing they liked to eat junk food all the time. It was a miracle they were pimple-free and still very muscular. Well it should be no surprise since they excercise a lot anyways, Sakura mused. She contemplated a little longer, making Deidara pout.

Not being able to resist him, she gave in to the adorable face he was making.

"Alright fine, but that's it. No more unhealthy food!" Sakura scolded.

"This is making our money decrease even more..." Kakuzu slouched, a little depressed.

Sakura pat him on the back gently. "It's okay Kakuzu, we make more money than we can spend anyways," Sakura stated cheerily.

Kakuzu stood up a little brighter and agreed with Sakura. "Yes, you're right, I guess there's nothing to be sad about."

Hidan looked at Kakuzu in shock. "Did j just fucking hear you say money isn't a big deal? And I thought only that would fucking happen when pigs die!"

"Hidan, it's 'when pigs fly', not when pigs die," Itachi interjected calmly. However a smirk threatened to break out on his face, giving away what he thought of Hidan.

"Haha Tobi thinks Hidan is stupid!" Tobi laughed loudly, running around Hidan in circles.

"What did you just say to me you bitch?! Wait 'til I get my hands on you!" Hidan snarled. He wanted to strangle Tobi, if only Tobi would stop moving!

"Stop running you brat!" Hidan waited for the perfect moment to leap at Tobi, ready to put his hands around Tobi's neck.

Sasori sighed loudly. "You two idiots are causing a scene. Let's just finish shopping with Sakura, my doll..."

"She's not your doll, yeah! She's like the beautiful calm before a storm...and then BOOM! An explosion caused by lightning," Deidara said passionately.

"Where is she anyways?" Kisame interupted Deidara before Sasori could get a word in.

He had the urge to go to the fish market and wanted to bring Sakura there. They could save the fishes together and let them be free. Kisame imagined a scene where they would be holding hands and skipping on the beach. They collected all the alive fish -a moment of silence for the dead- from the market and freed them in the ocean.

Kisame sighed dreamily.

Tobi's scream broke Kisame out of his thoughts. "Let go of Tobi!"

"Not until you say I'm smart you little bitch!" Hidan growled. He was on top of Tobi, hands around the orange-masked man's neck.

Sasori said impatiently, "Get up from the floor. You both are immature. Pein, Madara and Zetsu are gone. They're probably with Sakura right now."

In a flash, Hidan and Tobi were standing upright again. Hidan patted Tobi roughly on the back. "Sorry, man. You got me pissed there."

Tobi sniffled, "Tobi thinks Hidan is kind and smart."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. How he managed to get stuck with these weirdos, he'll never know.

Itachi said, "I believe Sakura is in the fruits section."

"What are we waiting for? Let's go then!" Deidara complained, eager to get back to Sakura.

Sakura was walking down the aisles of fruits and vegetables, having left behind most of the members. She loved food shopping because she was the one who had final say on what to eat. Trailing behind her was Pein, Madara and Zetsu.

Zetsu moaned sadly, "My poor brothers and sisters..." Sakura heard Zetsu and giggled. She felt a little bad for him. "You know Zetsu, you didn't have to come follow me," Sakura said innocently. Zetsu blushed, looking away. He cleared his throat and said quietly, "It's alright. I wanted to."

Now it was Sakura's turn to blush. Unfortunately, Pein and Madara saw her reaction to Zetsu's words and glowered at Zetsu. Unaffected, Zetsu continued walking and observed the fruits that were on sale.

Madara decided he had to make a move on her. He stood next to Sakura, secretly smelling her hair. It smelled like mangos and peaches. He loved the way how her hair always had that distinct scent.

In a husky voice, he said sexily, "Sakura-chan, we should buy mangos and peaches. They are...particularly delicious."

Sakura, not knowing what he meant by that, replied, "Um, sure? Help me pick the mangos out then." Next, she commanded Pein to pick out the peaches. Pein obediently walked over to the produce, staring at them.

She didn't have a task for Zetsu, so she just made one up on the spot. She asked sweetly, "Zetsu-kun, would you mind looking at the vegetables and decide which ones we should have for dinner tonight?"

Zetsu stammered out a yes while quickly walking towards the vegetable section. On the way there, he was arguing with himself. "Really, that's all you can say to her? A 'yes'? How pathetic," his conscience sneered at him.

"It's not my fault she's so nice to me. I don't know what else to say," Zetsu argued back. Zetsu tuned out his conscience who started cursing at him and looked at the rows of vegetables. "Now which cousin shall be the sacrifice for tonight's dinner?"

Pein was still staring at the peaches and Madara wasn't even picking out mangos at all. Madara's fingers were twitching and wanted to hug his Sakura-chan so bad. Sakura didn't pay any attention to them, looking at which apples to buy.

Madara couldn't take anymore and sauntered over to her and drawled, "You know they always say, 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away'."

Sakura gave him a look and retorted, "Maybe I should give you an apple to keep you away, even if you're not a doctor."

Madara frowned at her and said, "Mou, Sakura-chan that's so mean of you!"

Sakura merely ignored him and started to pick out twenty-four apples, with 4 apples in each plastic bag. "Since you aren't doing what I told you to, go and hold these for me." Sakura shoved the bags of apples towards Madara, making him grab ahold of them.

"That's so mean of you!" He repeated, whining at Sakura.

Not wanting to make Madara whine continuously, Sakura took pity on him and grabbed two bags of apples from him. "Happy now?"

Not waiting for an answer, Sakura brushed off Madara and saw Pein looking dumbfounded at the peaches. She wanted to laugh at the sight. Of course the prideful Akatsuki leader wouldn't know how to pick fruits.

"Pein, do you need help?" Sakura put a hand over her mouth, trying to muffle the laughter.

Pein cleared his throat. "Um...yes." She bumped hips with him, making room for her to stand beside him.

"Okay first, what I do is smell them." She took a peach and put it under Pein's nose.

"See how it smells yummy and peachy?" Pein could only nod his head yes. "Next, you have to feel them."

"Feel them?" Pein inquired.

Sakura nodded her head and said, "Yup! They should be soft and not hard."

Pein blushed at her statement, dirty thoughts coming in his head. "Alright."

"Now the last step is to look at them! It''s good if they're yellow and red," Sakura explained. "Pein, why don't you try picking out a peach?"

Pein looked unsure by her question but determination filled him. He looked at the peaches and ran through the steps she told him. It didn't take long as he found a delicious-looking peach. He held the peach to Sakura, as if he was offering a gift to her.

"Wow, you have such a good eye for peaches Pein! You should come with me every time we go to the market," Sakura praised him.

Now, Pein was a gentlemen but all he could hear from Sakura was, "You should come with me every time." The sentence echoed in his head. "You should come with me...come with me..." Out of character, Pein blushed hardly at his own pervertedness.

Sakura looked worriedly at him and put her hand to his forehead. "Are you okay? You're really red."

Pein said roughly, "I'm fine. It's just really hot in here."

Sakura accepted his answer after observing him for a moment. "Ah...okay then."

Madara butt in, looking extremely jealous. "Ne, ne, Sakura-chan shouldn't we go buy something else now?"

Sakura shrugged and said, "Sure. Should we check up on Zetsu or find the others?"

Madara thought to himself. If we find the others...they'll want her attention too. Better to go with Zetsu.

"Let's check up on Zetsu, Sakura-chan!" Madara cheerily replied.

After Madara finished his sentence, many loud voices were heard, getting closer to them.

"Hey, move it! You're taking up all the space on the goddamn aisle!"

"You're the one who is fat, yeah?"

"We didn't even get to go to the fish section!"

"Tobi misses Sakura-chan!"

"If you knock anything off the shelves and it costs us money, I'll kill you all."

"...This is extremely boring."

"Indeed."

Madara slapped a hand to his face and groaned. Too late.

Sakura spotted them as they turned the corner, her face lighting up. She waved frantically, "Hi guys! We were just going to find you!"

Sasori saw her happy and beautiful face, his eyes softening. She looks so precious and adorable.

Tobi ran to her and hugged her tightly. "Tobi missed Sakura-chan!" Sakura laughed and patted the top of his head. "Missed you too, Tobi." Deidara joined in on the hug, not caring Tobi was included as well. "I hope you missed me too, yeah?"

Kisame smirked at her and said, "Hey little one, find anything good yet?"

Itachi nodded her head towards her, a small smile featured on his handsome face.

Kakuzu just raised a hand in greeting, his heart beating a little fast when he saw her.

Sakura was smiling at all of them until Hidan opened his mouth. "Nice ass...I mean apples."

Sakura stopped smiling and started to scowl at Hidan. "You're lucky I can't hit you right now because I don't want to ruin the apples."

Itachi glared at Hidan and decided to change the topic. "Where is Zetsu? I notice he is missing."

Sakura looked as if she realized something. "Oh! We were going to find him in the vegetables section but I forgot because you guys met up with us again. Let's go!" Sakura turned on her heel, walking to the next aisle.

The others followed suit, content with staring at her behind.

"Ah...that's the life." The men agreed with Hidan except for Tobi.

"Hidan is a pervert!"

"Why you little..."

"Zetsu! Did you find anything nice?" Sakura interrupted Hidan, skipping over to Zetsu.

"Ah...yes. I found quite the vegetable to be sacrificed." Zetsu looked a little crazy, holding up a long, green vegetable.

"What the fuck is that?" Hidan looked as if he had never seen that in his life.

"It's an aspagus, duh!" Deidara rolled his eyes.

Sasori sighed, exasperated. "How are you even considered a genius? It's an asparagus, you idiot."

"That's what I just said," Deidara protested.

"Tch, whatever." Sasori didn't even bother to argue with him this time.

Sakura had a delighted face. "Oh, good job Zetsu! These are good for dinner!" Sakura skipped off quickly without them.

Most of the members started groaning. "Good fucking job Zetsu, now we have to eat this stupid thing!" Hidan growled.

"Well, I wasn't going to offer Sakura the other ones. They're too good to be eaten," Zetsu said matter-of-factly.

It was dinner time and Sakura cooked up such delicious food. Fried noodles with chicken, along with tempura. And then there was the asparagus that was simply steamed. Murmurs of appreciation went throughout the table in the dining room.

"This looks good, yeah! Thanks for cooking Sakura!" Deidara didn't wait for anyone else. He already dug into his food after saying, "Itadakimasu!"

The others shrugged and started to eat as well. Sakura smiled warmly, "No problem guys! Make sure you all finish eating that asparagus."

Hidan started choking on his noodles with Kakuzu hitting him hard on the back.

"What the fuck? We have to eat that shit?"

Sakura glared at him. "Yes, of course you have to eat that 'shit', as you eloquently put it. All this food is fried. You guys need healthy vegetables in your body!"

In order to appease Sakura, Itachi took an asparagus from the dish without a complaint and started eating it.

"See? Even Itachi is eating it!" Sakura said happily.

"That's because he's a faggot for liking vegetables," Hidan grumbled.

Itachi stopped munching on his asparagus midway and said, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, I said you're a-"

"Shut up, Hidan. Just eat your food," Kakuzu butt in.

"I guess I'll try it, yeah," Deidara said tentatively.

"Deidara, it's not bad, I promise," Sakura said to Deidara.

Deidara gulped and took a bite of the vegetable. "Huh...I guess it's not so bad," Deidara said thoughtfully.

The other members except Hidan started to take the vegetable in their bowl after Deidara's confession.

Kisame chomped on his food and agreed with Deidara. "Yeah it's alright. Thanks, little one."

Sakura beamed at accepting expressions of those at the table, save for Hidan.

Sakura tilted her head and pouted at Hidan. "Ne, Hidan you're not going to try?"

"Hell no! They've been fucking brainwashed I tell you!" Hidan vehemently stated. Even if Sakura looked so cute right now, there was no way he was going to try that damned thing.

Sakura gripped her chopsticks so tightly they broke in half. "And pray tell, if I may ask, brainwashed by what exactly?"

"By the goddamn vegetable, duh!" Hidan spat.

Sakura rolled her eyes at him and stood up from her seat. "Hidan, a vegetable can't brainwash people, okay?"

"Now I'll ask you again, will you eat it or not?" Sakura questioned as she walked around the table to get to Hidan. She stood in front of Hidan and crossed her arms, waiting for an answer.

Hidan turned to her and smirked, "Hey, I like this view."

A vein bulged on Sakura's forehead. Unexpectedly she took a piece of asparagus and shoved it in Hidan's mouth. "Eat it you freaking brat!"

Hidan's reply was muffled by the asparagus and her hand, "Whf fa thuck?"

"Chew and swallow it or I'll make you," Sakura's eyes gleamed evilly.

Hidan shook his head no vigorously.

"Wrong answer!" Sakura roared, making the other members cower in their seats a little.

She shoved more asparagus in Hidan's mouth until his cheeks bulged out like a chipmunk.

Left with no choice, Hidan had to eat the vegetable. When he swallowed it, he glared at Sakura. "What the fuck was that? Shoving that piece of shit into my mouth?"

"Did you like it?" Sakura asked sweetly, doing a complete 360 of her mood.

Hidan looked away with a light pink on his cheeks. He mumbled, "Yeah, whatever."

Sakura clapped her hands and said, "Oh goody! I hope we don't have a repeat of this again." She returned to her seat at the dinner table and proceeded to eat as if nothing happened.

"Sakura." Kisame's voice rumbled.

"Yes?" Sakura looked confused at him.

"We didn't even go to the fish market!"

A/N: Thanks for reading! Will start on chapter 2 soon when I finish studying.

- Kai