At First Sight

Chapter One: Black Hole

A black hole, a region in space that nothing, not even light can escape, was the only word I could think of. It seemed an odd way to describe myself, but it seemed somewhat fitting. Since the death of my mother, nothing seemed to matter anymore. All the light in my life seemed to have been sucked away in that moment. She had been the most important person in my life. We did everything together, we were inseparable, she was everything to me, and now, with her gone, so was everything else that mattered.

Yes, a black hole indeed. In the last 3 months, I had managed to lose the few friends I once had. None of them even looked me in the eye anymore. I could see why, I must have looked like an empty shell. Pain must have radiated from my very soul. Looking into my eyes must have been a painful experience for any one. It was the same looking into my Dad's eyes. Dark, empty, painful.

In the last 3 months, I had fallen so far behind in my studies, I might never catch up. I was 16, I had just started grade 11, and there was no way now that I'd be ready for exams. There was no way now I'd get into the medical school I wished so dearly to get into. But I wondered if that was really my dream anymore. I wondered if it would be painful doing something I knew my mother would have been proud of me for doing.

I was a black hole, maybe not by the literal sense, but everything seemed to disappear around me, into me, so I decided that the only word to describe my current state was black hole.

I sat under the starry sky, it was late October. As I exhaled, I could see my breath, a swirling cloud of mist. It intrigued me. Then I looked beyond it, and saw the millions of stars. Each a tiny pinprick of light in the night sky, each lighting up the evening a little bit more. I imagined all the worlds that must live among those stars. I smiled.

"Sam, come in now," I heard my father call from below. So, he'd found me, and here I thought that up here on the roof was one of the best places I could hide. I let out a long sigh, again watching in fascination at the swirling breath that escaped my lips.

I stood up slowly, and tenderly inched down the slight slope of the roof. As I reached the edge, I shot one last glance at the stars, and smiled again. There was something about the stars that I knew would one day be very important to me. Once back inside the warmth of our home, my dad sat me down at the kitchen table.

"Sam, next week I have a very important meeting at the Pentagon with some of the other Air Force Colonels," he explained. Of course, my dad was a very important Colonel in the US Air Force. My mother had always hated that he was in the Air Force, but always turned the other cheek. It was like her exception. She loved him too much to care about what he did for a living. But because in recent months he had become a very important man, he had been home less and less. Before my mother had died, he would just leave, but since then, he hadn't left, not once.

"So?" I asked, bitterly, crossing my arms.

"So, we are leaving tomorrow Sam. You and your brother are both coming. You have no choice in this matter," dad said in his military voice. It always seemed like an order was coming out of his mouth, weather he meant it or not. I raised my eyebrow slightly as if to say, yeah right. "Go pack!"

Another sigh and I stood up. Fine, I thought, I'll pack, I'll come, but I will not be pleasant about all of this. I thumped up the stairs and knocked open my bedroom door with my foot. My room was a disaster. Clothing was left where it had been taken off, papers cluttered my desk. I used to be organized and tidy, but it hurt to see things in order now.

The morning came, and there I was standing in front of our small Jeep with a base ball cap crammed on my head and a too big t-shirt. I was quickly tucked into the Jeep with a bagel in a napkin in my hand. I sat in the car, with my knees up to my chin and my feet on my over stuffed suitcase. If I had to go, I was going to be a brat about it. I nibbled at my bagel, but never really ate it.

Washington D.C was a 5 hour plane ride from the airport in Denver, which was an hour and a half drive from our house. I didn't complain once, but I didn't say a word either.

We finally arrived at our hotel in the late afternoon. My blonde hair had turned a shiny brown colour from the oil that had built up on my hair under the base ball cap. The bags under my eyes made it look like I had too black eyes. But none of that mattered, because I was going to hole myself up in the hotel room and watch as many movies as I wished, and order as much food as I deemed necessary.

It wasn't until three hours later that I severely regretted that choice. I kicked myself for not having a shower, and actually applying some of the copious amounts of make-up I brought with me. I felt like a fool when my father walked back into the hotel just before dinner with a young, handsome, second lieutenant at his side.

A/N: okay, so I know that Sam is being really childish here. But in my head, she is probably in her rebellious stage because she pretty much hates and blames her father, and her mother is dead, so she might as well be a bitch. But, she will start snapping into her real character soon. EVERYTHING is about to change for little miss Samantha Carter

Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1