Most of the characters in this piece and the setting for it, were conceived of by Rumiko Takahashi for her Ranma1/2 series of Manga. All such characters and the setting are the property of Takahashi-san and her licensees. All other characters in the piece are purely fictional and any resemblances to actual persons living or dead, are purely coincidental.
Chapter 1Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome were so engrossed in their game of go that they failed to notice the sudden drop in noise coming from the doujou. Today was Monday and Monday nights were when Konatsu Kenzan sparred with Akane. Akane could spare little energy for kia while sparring the male kunnoichi, especially after a full day of school and two hours drill under Ranma's supervision. Both of them were vaguely aware that Akane had stumbled out into the yard chugging down yet another quart of Go-Juice, a sports drink formulated by Tofu and Ko Lon, but neither of them spared the mental energy to fully register the consequences.
Unlike their usual game, shogi, the game of go taxed their intellectual prowess to the very limit. They registered only vague discomfort when Ranma and Nabiki sat down near the go table and completely missed the fact that Ranma was still holding his quarterstaff. Soun absentmindedly picked up his beer bottle through his head back for a long pull.
"Pop, Tendo-san, I would like to nominate Hinako Ninomiya as a candidate to become a full time student of the school.
Soun choked on his beer and spewed some out of his nose. Genma glanced up at his old friend and gave him an evil, lopsided grin.
"Son!" Soun exclaimed in an alarmed voice. "Do you have any idea what your asking?"
"Yep."
"Then why would you suggest such a thing?" Soun asked in genuine alarm. "Don't tell me you have developed another letch for the woman!"
Ranma growled out something under his breath that was just barely intelligible. Nabiki smirked, obviously struggling to stifle a much larger display of mirth.
"Wouldn't matter if I did have a letch on for her," Ranma answered through tightly clenched teeth. "She's still got the hots for you."
Nabiki let out a tiny chirp as she once again stifled the urge to throw her head back and laugh like Kodachi Kuno.
"All the more reason to vote against your nomination, Ranma," Soun all but shouted. "I couldn't...I'd never...I mean she...You know what the hell I'm talking about."
"Oh, you mean that little problem she has with her body suddenly reverting to that of a nine year old gakki?" Ranma asked. "I've just about cured that."
This news made both Soun and Genma wince with surprise. Both of them glared at Ranma. Soun's glare was considerably more hostile than Genma's.
"What have you been up to, boy?" Genma growled.
"You haven't been trying to apply that shiatsu technique to her, have you, son?" Soun asked, sounding aggrieved. "Even the Master agreed that it was pointless."
"Nah, nothin' like that!" Ranma answered.
"He's been feeding her a watered down version of the Moko Takabisha twice a day," Nabiki said. "It really has helped Hinako-sensei out. She stays at about age nineteen for nearly the whole day now."
Soun gave Nabiki a hopeful stare, which caused Nabiki to bite at her lower lip. Genma, on the other hand, cut his eyes over towards his son.
"What's the angle here, Ranma?" Genma asked.
"At first I just wanted her to stop sneakin' up on me and drainin' my ki two or three times a day."
"And then?" Soun asked.
"I got ta talkin' to Tofu about it and he said that if I kept hittin' her with the right dosage of ki a couple of times a day that the damage Happosai did to her would heal up. Looks to me like he was right. She's a lot better."
Soun and Genma exchanged glances and cocked eyebrows at this.
"There's more." They chorused to Ranma.
Ranma nodded his head. "She's still havin' trouble stayin' focused durin' the day."
"Her mind still reverts to a child-like state several times a day," Nabiki interjected. "There are times when she is too easily distracted."
"And you think that if we started training her in the Art that she might be able to cure this lingering problem, " Soun said in the tones of a man feeling hope and fearing the feeling. "Is that it, son?"
"Ah, yeah, something like that," Ranma said, scratching the back of his neck.
"You still haven't told us everything, have you, boy?" Genma asked in a gruff voice. "Why don't you lay your cards on the table."
"Ever since I..." Ranma pause to look around and see if his mother was in earshot, "...turned into a dragon I've been studyin' ki.'
Both Soun and Genma suddenly looked skeptical. The truth was, the study of ki and how it worked was still very much a dark art. Neither of them doubted that it existed, or that it could be used by the sufficiently trained, but as far as they were concerned, no one knew the precise ins-and-outs of how it worked. Ranma, even though he could make extensive use of ki, did not qualify as an expert on the subject in their eyes. He simply was not old enough. Were he over forty it would have been different, but Ranma had not even made it to age twenty.
"You need to hear him out, Daddy," Nabiki said.
Genma nodded his head sideways at Nabiki. "How much are you paying her to intercede, boy?"
"Nothing," Nabiki said. "This is as much about helping Akane as it is about helping Hinako-sensei."
Soun was suddenly interested, but Genma maintained his skeptical demeanor, squinting first at Nabiki, then at Ranma in turn.
"All right then, Ranma," Soun said. "What exactly is it that you are proposing?"
"I've been studying ki flows everywhere I can and I've discovered that it flows between just about everything. It is as busy or even busier in big towns like Tokyo as it is out in the wilds."
"I think I read that somewhere," Soun said. Genma grunted the way he did when he agreed with something, but was not yet ready to attribute any significance to it.
"It's easier to believe it when you can see ki the way I can when I go dragon," Ranma said.
Soun pursed his lips while Genma gave out a prolonged grunt the way he did when he was obliged to concede a point but remained unconvinced.
"Yes, I keep forgetting you can see things in your dragon form that no one else can detect," Soun said., "but it does not necessarily follow that you are understanding what it is that you observe."
Ranma nervously rubbed his chin before he spoke. "Look, I gotta admit that your right on that point, Oji-san, I've seen a lot of stuff that I don't understand since that fight with Pansuto Taro, but I do see what I see. It's very plainly visible. It really don't require all that much brain power to figger out."
"All right then, boy, "Genma said, "what is it that you have been seeing?"
"Some things absorb ki. Other things reflect almost all of the ki that hits 'em. Other things, mostly living things, generate ki."
"Mostly living things? Are you telling us that there are inanimate things which generate ki?" Soun asked in a skeptical voice. "That runs contrary to just about everything I've read or heard about it."
Rama heaved a sigh. 'There are places out in the country where ki boils up out of the ground, or out of a big rock and even some dead trees. Those things aren't alive, but there might well be something in 'em or on 'em that is alive. I don't know for sure, okay? Here in the city, I've seen ki boiling out of buildings late at night while they are empty, and sometimes out of the ground where I can't see nothing growin' and I can see some pretty small stuff after I've gond dragon."
Genma scratched his head and looked aggravated. "So what has any of this got to with bringing that vampire around here, boy? What are you up to?"
Ranma gritted his teeth for a moment and shook his head. "Almost everybody, even some of the real old folks around here generate ki," Ranma said. "Hinako doesn't."
"Well, I think we all know that, son," Soun said. "We've seen what she can do to you."
"She ain't the only one, Oji-san," Ranma said. "Hikaru Gosunkugi's another one.'
Soun and Genma both snorted in disgust.
"I think people like us, people who generate lots of ki, need people like Hinako and Gosunkugi."
Genma broke out into booming laughter. Soun clapped one hand to his forehead.
"I suppose you'll be telling us we need biting flies and mosquitoes, next."
"Uh, yeah, we do, but that's different."
Genma groaned aloud. Soun shook his head in dismay and gave Nabiki an expectant look.
"He's right, Daddy," Nabiki said.
"Whatever on earth, for?" Soun all but shouted. "Of what use are parasites?"
"Things like mosquitoes take from us, but then they become food for other things," Nabiki said. 'They're just part of a larger cycle."
"Larger cycle, eh?" Soun replied.
Genma held up his right hand ten placed on the table between himself and Soun. "The boy might be onto something."
"Huh?" Soun noised, giving Genma an alarmed stare.
"Spit it out, boy," Genma rumbled. "We'll listen."
"We all know that most everbody generates ki, right? But we also know that it takes years and years of trainin' before ya can generate enough ki to do anything with it."
Both of the older men nodded.
"When ya train, ya actually tear down your muscles a little, then your body rebuilds the muscle, but when it does, it adds a little extra muscle so that you can better stand the stress you're puttin' your body through."
"So?" Genma and Soun chorused.
"So when ya build muscle, you also generate more ki than you would otherwise. The physical trainin' only indirectly helps you build up the ability generate ki. Hell, I know some guys that do nothin' but lift weights and they never generate as much extra ki as Nabiki. They only generate enough to offset the exercise they do."
"You've got a weak theory here, son," Soun said. "There are people who generate enormous amounts of ki, yet never did any physical training."
"There's exceptions ta every rule, Oji-san," Ranma said. "Kasumi is one, but the ki she generates ain't nothin' like the ki you or I generate. I think genetics plays a big role as well, but I think nurture has almost as much effect."
"Kasumi generates ki?" Genma asked in a surprised voice.
"Tons and tons of it," Ranma answered.
"I never noticed," Genma said.
"Neither have I," Soun said, "and she is my daughter."
"I never noticed either until I had to hang around here wearin' scales instead of skin," Ranma said. "Ever notice how kids act around her? Or that anything she plants always grows real well?"
Both Soun and Genma both grunted in surprise.
"It wouldn't hurt nothin' if the three of us could study under her," Ranma said, but I don't know that she could teach what she does. To her, it's as natural as breathin'. I think it's somethin' she inherited."
"Almost no one breaths properly without training, son," Soun said.
"Kasumi does," Ranma said. "Did you train her?"
Soun's face registered sudden shock. "Ah, well, no, not really, but then she often watched while I tried to teach others."
Genma rocked back and gave his son a hard stare. "So why do you think people like Kasumi need people like Hinako, boy?"
"People like Hinako Ninomiya force us to produce more ki than we otherwise would," Ranma said. "She might have been one of the main reasons I started generating so much ki."
"When you exercise, you naturally generate a little more ki than you would otherwise because, ki is needed to repair and build muscle," Nabiki said in an eager voice, "that's why most people must go through so much physical training before than can use ki. But, when you have your ki siphoned off by something or someone, like Hinako-sensei, you have to make more ki to replace what she or it took away from you. Vamps like Hinako put more stress on your ability generate ki. After they start hitting you on a regular basis, you start generating more ki in self-defense."
This made the two older men shudder, even as the light of realization dawned in their faces.
"It's...It's...It's..." Soun stammered.
"A frikkin' abomination!" Genma all but shouted. "Happosai made her into what she is."
Ranma shook his head. "Made her into what she was, Pop. She's not nearly as dangerous now. But, not even that evil old fart could have done what he did to her if she hadn't been born with the ability to siphon ki. I mean, just think..."
"And," Nabiki said, interrupting Ranma, "given that it was the old letch that made a mess of her health and her whole life, it's our duty to make her whole again."
Soun threw his head back and gritted his teeth at the heavens.
Genma gave a disapproving grunt before saying, "She was born evil, boy. That's not our fault."
"How is it that any one of us four is fit to label Hinako-sensei evil?" Ranma asked in an angry voice.
The two older men gave Ranma an incredulous stare. His anger was much easier for them to cope with than Nabiki's knowing smirk.
"What has gotten into your head, boy?" Genma demanded to know.
"Education, Pop. Remember you wanted me to go to school and learn stuff?"
"I'm sorry," Genma said, sounding as though he really was. "I'll try to make it up to you someday. I should have known better than to trust the authorities."
"A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, son," Soun said in pleading tones.
Unable to contain herself any longer, Nabiki broke out into laughter.
"Who are you to laugh, Nabiki?" Soun asked. "There is no love lost between you and Hinako-sensei."
"True, Daddy, very true, but that doesn't change the fact that we owe her."
"Why makes you think we owe her anything?" Genma asked.
"Oh, good grief!" Nabiki exclaimed. "You two have spent years cleaning up behind the old letch. What so different about helping Hinako-sensei fully recover from him? Is it because Hinako is a woman?"
Soun visibly flinched. Genma snorted in disgust.
"She steals ki, Nabiki-chan," Genma growled. 'Somethin' that none of us but Ranma can ever make enough of."
"But if Ranma's right, Hinako will help you with that little problem, right?"
This brought Genma up short. Soun gave his old friend a horrified stare.
"Oh, no, Genma! Not another one of your training ideas!" Soun exclaimed in a panic.
"It's not my idea, Tendo-kun," Genma said in a speculative tone. "It's my son's idea."
"Given that you trained him," Soun replied in a less-than-enthusiastic voice, "that's not so terribly reassuring."
"Oh, come on, Tendo-kun," Genma said, giving Soun a crookedly amused grin, "both of us trained under Happosai after all. It's not like either of us is a stranger to harsh training."
Nabiki favored her father with another knowing smirk.
Bi-dong! Bi-dong! Bi-dong!
The noise was coming from out in the yard. Akane had begun her Amaguriken training. The ringing of the heavy bronze bell Ranma had rigged up for her quickly became louder as her pace picked up. Soun clapped both hands over his ears and shouted, "No, I don't suppose we are, are we?"
Ranma got up and walked over to the edge of the engawa and shouted, "Yo! Tomboy! Less power! More speed!"
The ringing stopped for a moment as Akane shouted back, "Hai, sensei!"
The ringing started again, but not nearly so loudly. Soun still clapped his hands over his ears.
"This is an example of what I'm worried about, Saotome-kun," Soun shouted. "Has it done her any real good?"
Ranma snorted. "Get up and go have a hard look at your daughter, Oji-san. She's turnin' into a fountain of ki. Not even a really big gaijin could do what she's doin' right now, not without usin' his ki. That ain't somethin' that can be done by muscle alone."
Soun and Genma both took Ranma's advice. Akane was banging a way at the padded end of a heavy oak timber. Each of her punches caused it to slide through the frame that held it place and its unpadded end struck an old temple bell that Ranma had "salvaged". Heavy springs that Soun thought probably came from a garage door pulled the timber back after each punch, making it ready for Akane's next blow. Akane had been practicing at this contraption every day for the better part of a month. The grass around had died and turned brown in the last week. This evening it was beginning to smolder and the intervals between the rings of the bell became shorter and shorter while they watched Akane work. Just as the ringing almost became a solid wall of sound, Akane's pace began to slow and the intervals became longer and longer.
Ranma laughed. "Yo! Let's call it a day, Tomboy!"
"Oooh! I almost did it this time!" Akane shouted in a frustrated voice.
"It'll still be here waiting for ya in the mornin', Akane," Ranma said. "You've done enough for a day."
Akane wiped at her brow with the sleeve of her gi as she walked toward the house. She did not seem to notice the charred grass as she walked through it unshod. She stepped up onto the engawa and gave Ranma a peck on the cheek.
"Whoof!" Ranma wrinkled his nose at Akane and exclaimed, "Bath!"
Akane punched him on the arm before heading toward the furoba.
"So what is it that you have in mind for Hinako, son?" Tendo asked after the bathroom door slid shut behind Akane. "Surely you don't want her to spar with Akane.
Ranma's eyes went wide as he answered, "Oh, hell no! Akane would likely have a Freudian slip in the middle of it and kill her."
"I think I know what he has in mind," Genma said. "We'll teach Hinako the first two kata of the Beginner's Sextet."
"Ah, yes of course!" Soun exclaimed. "And then Akane can work in tandem with Hinako on those two kata."
Ranma nodded his head. "And because the second kata consists of all the counter moves for the first kata, they'll be blocking each other the whole time."
"And Hinako will drain little bits of ki out of Akane with every contact," Genma rumbled.
"Hinako will get progressively healthier and more focused, while Akane is forced to generate more and more ki every day," Nabiki said. "It's brilliant."
"Congratulations, son," Soun said to Ranma. "You are just as evil as your father, albeit a bit more subtle."
"Why, thank you, Oji-san," Ranma said, meaning it.
"It sounds like a plan that might possibly work, but I want to talk to Elder Ko Lon and Tofu-sensei about it before I give the go ahead," Soun said.
Ranma shrugged his shoulders. "I won't argue with you there, Oji-san. You and Pop are still the only two with a full license to teach our school."
Both of the older men looked surprised and flattered at this. Ranma had never been a respecter of seniority in the past. He certainly had never been one to lend a teacher credence simply because of their age or credentials. They invariably had to prove themselves to him.
"Have you broached this subject with Hinako-sensei yet, Ranma?" Soun asked.
"Nah, not yet. I wanted to see if you and Pops would go along with it before getting' her hopes up," Ranma answered.
"What makes you think that she'd be even remotely interested?" Soun asked.
Nabiki cackled. Genma chuckled and shuffled his feet.
"I don't think we'll have any trouble getting' her started, Oji-san," Ranma said as he gave Soun a knowing grin, "but you might hafta work your ass off at keepin' her goin'."
Soun gave Ranma an inquiring stare.
"Hinako responds pretty well to the candy-and-stick approach," Ranma explained."
Nabiki cackled again. "And she'll like the stick as much as she does the candy unless I'm missing my guess."
"Do you really think so?" Soun asked in surprise.
"I'm certain of it, Daddy," Nabiki said, looking highly amused.
Genma pretended to be fascinated with something out in the yard.
The telephone rang and Nodoka Saotome came scurrying out of the kitchen to pick it up.
"That'll be the Nerima Unagi-ya," Nabiki said.
"Ranma?" Nodoka called out.
"I'm on my way, Mom," Ranma said.
"Thank you, dear," Nodoka said and scurried back into the kitchen.
"Can we really afford to order take-out so often?" Soun asked.
"Nobody's had enough time to cook, Daddy," Nabiki said. "Besides, we've come into a little extra cash in the past month. The budget will be fine."
"If you say so," Soun said, sounding as though he was not entirely convinced.
"Come on, Saotome," Nabiki said as she grabbed Ranma by the arm. "I'll help you carry it back."
"You ordered enough unagi to feed this mob after a day like today?" Ranma asked sounding shocked.
"Are you kidding?" Nabiki answered as they made their way out to the front gate. "Shan Pu's bringing udon over and Konatsu should be on the way with okonomiyaki by now."
"Ah, so we're eatin' a little of the really good stuff and a lot of the cheap but filling stuff," Ranma said. "Makes sense."
"Especially when there is one person around here who eats a couple of big tuna and side of beef once or twice a month," Nabiki replied in a voice heavy with sarcasm.
"I can't help it," Ranma complained. "It's not my fault."
"Oh, quit being such a defensive wimp," Nabiki said, pretending to be waspish. "At least now you're paying your own way."
"You found a buyer for the diamonds?" Ranma asked.
Oh, yeah!" Nabiki said. "It's a good thing I own so much interest in that bicycle shop. It makes it easier to explain our sudden rise in income to the tax man."
"My life has gone completely outta control," Ranma said in a grumpy tone.
"Hey, at least you finally stopped speaking ancient Altaic," Nabiki reposted. "Look on the bright side."
Ranma grimaced. "I just wish that particular Pearl of Wisdom had been from a tree that had grown up near a doujou."
"Always with the crybaby crap, Saotome. You learned something useful, right? Now you know how to mix up just the right clay for record tablets," Nabiki said.
"Oh, yeah! And I even know how to put together a file structure based on Linear A script!" Ranma said in a disgusted voice. "Too bad I never wanted to be a librarian.'
"Archivist."
"Whatever. D'ya think the old farts are gonna buy into the idea of trainin' Hinako-sensei?"
"I think you got 'em sold, Saotome," Nabiki said. "Just give 'em time to save a little face. They'll go visit with Ko Lon, have a drinking binge or two, and once they have finally decided that it was their idea, they'll order you to bring Hinako in."
"Kasumi is going to hate me."
"Yeah, for a little while," Nabiki said, giving Ranma an evil grin, "but she'll stop hating you once she realizes that you gave her an excuse to cut her apron strings loose from Daddy."
"And you and Akane."
"Akane, you mean," Nabiki said. "I'm moving to Shikoku, remember?"
"Lucky you!" Ranma groused.
"You should drop out of school, Saotome."
"Huh?"
"Hire a tutor for you and Akane and finish school that way."
"Expensive.'
"You can afford it, Ranma," Nabiki said. "You already have enough money on hand now to buy out all our neighbors."
"Maybe Akane and I should keep going to school for one more year and do that first," Ranma said. "I'll bet they're getting really sick of us."
"Some of 'em, yeah," Nabiki said. "Most of 'em wouldn't move if you put a gun to their heads."
"Huh? Why?"
"Because we give 'em something to gripe about and gossip about and we make them famous among their friends."
"Oh."
"There's no substitute for having crazy neighbors to talk about around the water cooler, Saotome."
"Hmph! Think you can find a couple of teachers crazy enough to be tutors for me and Akane?"
"Sure," Nabiki said. "I know of a couple that would likely tutor for free if you let 'em have access to the archives."
Ranma made a wry face. "Gotta be careful about that, Nabiki."
"I know, Ranma, but there is more work to be done in the archives than Ko Lon's crew can handle."
"Okay, hire us a couple of durable masochists that Ko Lon approves of."
"I really am starting to rub off on you, aren't I?"
Ranma shivered. "I must've been a really bad, bad boy in my last life. Akane is gonna hate workin' with Hinako."
"But that's what you want, isn't it, Saotome?"
"Sure, it kills two birds with one stone. It'll test Akane's self-control and force her to generate more ki. I just hope it doesn't get Hinako and me killed."
"Ah, the life of a martial artist is fraught with danger!"
"Mostly because we bring it on ourselves!" Ranma said in an exasperated voice.
"You love it, Saotome. You wouldn't do anything else, even if you had a choice and you do."
"Yeah, I do," Ranma said in resigned voice. "I suppose really do."
And so does Akane," Nabiki said. "Never forget that."
Back at Tendo-ke, Nodoka was trying hard, very hard, not to glare at Otoko-Akane. "You didn't change back to your natural form, Akane. Is there something wrong with the furo?"
Otoko-Akane heaved a sigh and said, 'No, not really, Oba-san. It's just that I'm really very hungry today."
Nodoka tried and failed to suppress a shudder at the sound of Otoko-Akane's voice. She sounded too much like Soun.
"Hungry?" Nodoka asked, sounding puzzled. "Why would hunger have..."
"I can hold almost twice as much food when I'm a guy, Obaa-san," explained in a tired voice.
Soun and Genma both laughed.
"I'm sure there are a great many things that you can do in that form that you could never do as a woman," Nodoka said in a snippy voice as she looked Akane's male frame up and down. As a male, Akane was one-and-a-half sun taller than her father and devilishly handsome to boot. "You need a shave, dear, or were you planning on growing a mustache like your father's?"
"Oh, I don't know," the now aggravated Otoko-Akane said. "What do you think, Dad?"
Soun and Genma both found Nodoka's discomfiture highly amusing. And both could see the tiny arcs of actinic blue that briefly flickered around Akane's male form. The youngest Tendo's male form was every bit as striking as Ranma's female form. Akane turned as many female heads while a young man, as she did male heads while in her natural form. Nodoka really and truly did not like Otoko-Akane hanging around Onna-Ranma and she especially did not like Otoko-Akane sleeping in the same rooms as Onna-Ranma.
"I think you'd look even better in a full beard, Akane," Genma rumbled. "Very macho."
Akane stared upwards, as though silently beseeching the heavens for patience.
"Oh, I think she'd look better with just a mustache, Genma-kun," Soun said. "A mustache would make her look suave and rakish. She'd look like a pirate with a beard."
"I like pirates," Genma rumbled.
"That's because you are a pirate, you dirty old rug!" Nodoka shouted. "That is, so long as your are not studying to become a full time denizen of the local zoo!"
"Is it just me, Tendo-kun, or does it seem to you that my dear wife wants me behind bars?"
"Maybe she'll settle for keeping you chained to her bedpost," Saotome-kun.
"Actually, I think I need to take him out and give him a good dusting," Nodoka said. "Where's that carpet beater?"
"We have two in the front closet, Obaa-san," Akane said. "You could use one to beat a rug while I beat a mattress with the other."
Nodoka gave Otoko-Akane a sickly sweet smile. "I appreciate the offer, dear, but I'll beat the mattresses around here when and as they need it."
"As you wish, Obaa-san," Otoko-Akane said with an evil glint in her eye. "Just so long as you let me pound my own mattress whenever the mood takes me."
Nodoka pursed her lips and treated everyone to a venomous stare before saying, "Just so long as you remember what your duties actually are, Akane-chan."
"I am working on them as hard as I can, Obaa-san," Otoko-Akane replied in a fair imitation of Genma's rumble. "Ranma seems to be more than pleased with my diligence here of late."
An exasperated Nodoka rolled her eyes to the heavens. "You did remember to put everything in the washer, did you not, Akane-chan?"
"Of course, Obaa-san," Otoko-Akane said in a sweet falsetto. "My sweaty gi, mine and Ranma's sticky sheets, I even dried the bathroom floor."
"Good!" Nodoka said in a voice that suggested less than complete satisfaction. "The last thing we need around here is another oafish man leaving the women to do all the work."
Akane's right eye twitched. "We all do a fair amount of work around here, Obaa-san. I don't know about you, but I've had a hard day."
"My apologies, Akane-chan. "I'm sure you're more familiar with things getting hard than I am."
"Only because you have things that stay hard all the time, Obaa-san," Akane said. "I do manage to relax from time to time. Perhaps you should work something out with Genma-kun about that."
Genma started making choking noises while Soun slapped his old companion on the back.
"Akane, why don't you go get some rest while we wait for Ranma to get back with our supper."
"Good idea, Dad," Akane said as she began making her way up the stairs. "I think I will."
Nodoka held her tongue, but glared at Otoko-Akane's back until he was out of sight.
"I'll go make more tea," Nodoka hissed at her husband and her host.
"Sounds good to me," Genma rumbled. "Keep a close eye on the pot."
"I'll do that," Nodoka hissed. "You should keep a close eye on that big ass of yours."
Genma treated his wife to an amused grin. "Not a problem. I watch it like a hawk all the time."
"Hey, Ran-chan! Hi, Nabiki!" Ukyou was as cheerful as always.
"Good evening, Cold Dragon," Shan Pu chirruped, she too seemed uncommonly happy to be at the end of yet another painfully long day.
"Hey, Uuchan! Hiya, Shan Pu. How did it go for you guys today?"
"Busy morning, slack afternoon and nothing after five, Ran-chan," Ukyou answered. "It's a Monday."
Shan Pu nodded her head. Konatsu came out and started helping Ranma unload their huge order of baked eel on rice.
"Where's Akane?" Ranma asked.
Ukyou gave Ranma a lopsided grin while Shan Pu suddenly developed a silently amused air.
"She's upstairs, Saotome-dono," Konatsu said. "I think she pushed herself a little too hard today."
"She still in angry guy-type," Shan Pu added.
Ranma snorted. "She does that so she can eat more."
"Oh! Curse is handy then, neh?"
"Yeah, it can be," Ranma replied wondering why Ukyou and Shan Pu were nearly in stitches. He glanced over at Nabiki and saw her cocked eyebrow. Damn! he thought. Something went south while we were gone.
"I'll go get Akane," Ranma said as he headed for the stairs. "She's gonna get too stiff to come down and eat if she lays around up there for much longer."
Ranma paused at the sound of several plates clattering to the floor in the kitchen. Shan Pu, Ukyou and Konatsu were suddenly wearing poorly stifled grins. Oh, shit! What the hell happened? He took the steps two at time and made his way into his and Akane's room. Akane was sprawled out on their futon with her right forearm thrown across her eyes. Ranma changed forms as he fell across her.
"Hey, Tomboy, what's wrong? You're not getting sick on me are you?"
"No, but I might get sick on your mother."
"What happened?"
"Oh, we had one of our little discussions and rather than fight with her I came up here."
"Wise move."
"She wasn't satisfied with that. After Ukyou and Shan Pu showed up, she started venting at your dad about me not changing back into a girl after I bathed."
The room grew dark and the air temperature started to fall.
"Ranma don't!"
"I'll not have her starting up the shit with Shan Pu and Ukyou again," Onna-Ranma growled.
"Ranma, stop it!"
"Stop what?"
"It's freezing in here. Calm down."
"Sorry."
The light flooded back into the room, but it was going to be a while before the air would warm. Akane shivered.
"Come on, Akane, let's go eat."
"You should change back to a guy."
"Not happenin'. Come on."
"Ranma, she'll take it out on me."
"No, she won't."
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to explain the facts of life, my life, to my mother."
"That may not be such a good idea, Ranma."
"That's okay," Onna-Ranma said. "It wasn't my idea. It was hers. Now, let's go."
Otoko-Akane reluctantly got up and let Onna-Ranma lead her downstairs. Just as they reached the bottom step, Nodoka walked out of the kitchen and gave Otoko-Akane a disapproving look.
"Mom, could we...ah...step out to the doujou for a few minutes, please? You and I need to talk."
Nodoka took in a long slow breath and nodded her head. Onna-Ranma turned on his heel and walked out the side entrance to the doujou. Nodoka silently followed thinking, Yes, let us talk you foolish little boy. You have no idea what you are dealing with. Once they were in the doujou and its large sliding doors were closed, Nodoka attempted to seize the initiative.
"What is it, son?" Nodoka asked with as much steel as she could muster in her voice.
Onna-Ranma spoke in a very quiet voice. "It's real simple, Mom. You either get right with Akane or you get out."
Nodoka gave Onna-Ranma a derisive sniff. A fat lot this child knows. She stared down her nose at Onna-Ranma and said, "I remind you, son, that the property you need, still belongs to me."
"Take that up with Nabiki, Mom. I could care less. I didn't ask for any of this. I don't really want any of it. I don't need any of it. I'm dealing with it as best I can only because it got dumped into my lap. You either get right with Akane or I will pack her up and she and I will disappear."
Nodoka gave Onna-Ranma a derisive laugh. "You won't do that because you can't. What about the Amazons and your friend, Haabu?"
The doujou went dark. A layer of fine mist about a foot thick suddenly formed near the floor. Nodoka began shivering, more out of fear than the sudden chill.
"Mother, I really am The Cold Dragon. None of them own nuclear weapons--and neither do you. I can and will do whatever in the fuck I want. The rest of you will figure out a way to survive without me and Akane or you won't. It doesn't make me one bit of difference. Do you understand?"
"Surely you wouldn't put that...that...Akane ahead of your own mother and father!"
"Why wouldn't I? You put everything ahead of me; your arguments with the old man; our ancestors; your ambitions; everything. The only way I could ever matter to you is if could match your ideals. If I had not been manly enough to suit you, you would have cut my head off without of second thought."
The doujou had become much darker and much colder while Onna-Ranma spoke.
"Ranma, please..."
Onna-Ranma seized Nodoka's shoulders and forced her to bend forwards so that their noses almost touched. Onna-Ranma's voice developed a sibilant hiss, like steel sliding across steel as she spoke. "No, Mother. You wanted a powerful and a manly son and you got him. He's standing right here in front of you. I am, as far as I know, the single most powerful being on this planet. If you cannot be satisfied with me as I am now, you never will be. You lay off of Akane or I will leave you to face Nabiki and the Amazons by yourself."
"Son, you have a legacy!"
"Believe me, Mother, I could care less about that shit. Every dragon has his treasure and Akane's mine. Don't you ever mess with it again."
Nodoka was now shivering from head to foot, now mostly from the cold rather than fear. The cold made her breath came in ragged gasps. He's not nearly hard enough, she thought. What a disappointment! I challenge his manhood and all he does is threaten to leave. What kind of man is this? He should have slapped me silly by now.
"I won't make a contract with you on this, Mother, but I will give you my word on it. If you try to get between me and Akane again, for any reason at all, I will treat with you the way you treated with me. You had best start figuring out how to become motherly enough."
Nodoka fought of the urge to clap her hands and dance in the dark. He means it now! She thought. There is some real steel in his soul. Good. He will need that before long.
"Ranma, I'm...I'm...sorry. It won't happen again, I promise."
"All right then, let there be light," Onna-Ranma whispered as he turned and walked out of the doujou.
Much to her surprise, Nodoka could not see the door for the icy fog filling the air around her. The doujou was completely whited out. She had feel her way along a wall sticky with hoar frost to find her way out.
Onna-Ranma was mildly find a very worried looking Genma Saotome waiting outside the doujou exit.
"Do me a favor, Pop," Onna-Ranma said as his father started to speak. "Stop neglecting your wife!"
"Ahh! What do you mean by that, boy?" Genma asked in his gravelly voice.
"Has it ever crossed your limited little mind that I might want a brother or sister? Hell, I wouldn't mind if I had twin brothers or sisters! Mom, needs somethin' of her own ta do. It'd take her mind off me and Akane. Besides, you ain't taken care of her needs."
"You're a little bit outta line, boy!"
"Yeah, I am," Onna-Ranma replied in an exasperated voice, "and its a goddamned shame that I'm havin' ta do it. If you're so damned manly, why is it I'm an only child, hmm?"
Genma's jaw worked as his weather beaten face turned a nasty shade of dark puce.
"Why don't ya have Doc Tofu look ya over," Onna-Ranma said. "Hell, maybe ya need to go see a proctologist."
"You really are asking for it, boy!"
"And so is, Mom," Onna-Ranma growled, "and she wouldn't be if you was takin' care o'biness! Grow a spine, get stiff and get her own her back. That's the best way I know of to keep her off Akane's back.
"What? You want I should keep her barefoot and pregnant?"
Onna-Ranma slapped his father across the face with a bundle of bills and then jammed it inside the front of Genma's gi top.
"She won't go barefoot anymore, Pop. You know that."
"I'm too old to raise another kid!" Genma said, feeling of the money beneath his canvas top.
"Oh, bullshit! It ain't like ya gotta take all of 'em on ten year long trainin' trips. Look around, Old Man. Ya got plenty help around now. All of it of first quality. If ya doubt that, make girl babies."
"You are getting just a little bit too full of yourself, Ranma."
"Yeah, that's prob'ly true, Pop. But look who raised me. Look who made me what I am. Are ya cryin' now because ya got what you were wishin' for? You did get what ya wanted, right?"
"You don't know enough to handle what's comin' down the road, Ranma," Genma said in an ominous voice. "You lack experience. It's going to be rough."
Onna-Ranma sighed. "Do ya really think that I ain't figgered that out already? Why do ya think I've been studyin' my ass off? Why do ya think that the Amazons are floodin' in? Why do ya think Haabu came here? They expect ME ta lead. You turned me into a weapon, Pop and I'm a damned good one, but fightin' ain't the whole answer ta this. And, ya know what? I'm the one that has ta do the job. You can't do it. Mom can't do it. I have ta do it. That means I'm the one who'll hafta be responsible for whatever happens. I'll always listen to you and I will always value your advice, okay? But I'm the one in the hurricane seat, not you."
"Boy, do you seriously think that Nodoka would..."
"Have you even tried lately, Pop? She's your wife. Treat her like she's your wife. Take her shoppin'. Get you and her some decent threads. Take her to dinner and then, in the name of all that is holy and just, take her to bed! If I can cope with Akane, you had better find a way to cope with her."
"She really got into your business, didn't she?"
"Yeah! A little! What goes on in my bedroom ain't none of hers or your biness! Why do ya think I'm gettin' inta your biness?"
Genma held up his hands and gave his son a rueful grin. "I'll try, Son."
"There ain't no try here, Pop. Do or do not! Take her out, wine her, dine her and knock her ass up. It's the manly thing ta do."
Genma started to say something else, but then suddenly clamped his jaw shut and focused on something behind Onna-Ranma. Onna-Ranma stamped past her father and whispered in passing, "I can't believe you're so lazy that you won't unwind her knot."
"Watch yer mouth, boy."
"Both of ya need a bath," Onna-Ranma grated back as she stamped her way back into the house. "Mom's freezin' and you smell like a hog."
Once back inside the house Onna-Ranma discovered that no one had waited for him or his parents before starting supper. He didn't blame them, the food was getting cold and a microwave oven did terrible things to unagi. What did make him a little nervous was that Ukyou and Shan Pu were rubbing up against Otoko-Akane while plying her with food. They were, of course, doing this just to pick on the blushing Otoko-Akane. Onna-Ranma did not mind their misbehavior too terribly much, knowing that Akane would take it out on him later that night. He flopped down on the floor behind Otoko-Akane so that they were back to back and leaned against her.
"Somebody hand me somethin' ta eat," Onna-Ranma said, feigning hurt feelings. "I'm hungry, too."
This drew a hailstorm of raspberries and rude remarks.
"Don't sit this close to me when you pull stunts like that, Ranma," Akane said with faux alarm. "It puts me in the line of fire."
"You must be ever ready to protect your master, Akane-chan," Onna-Ranma replied, doing her best imitation of Happosai.
This drew even more raspberries and yet another round of rude commentary, but Kasumi handed him a bowl of ramen.
"Here," Kasumi said giving him one of her sweeter smiles,"now be a good boy and stop teasing the lions."
"Thank goodness you're here, Kasumi-chan," Onna-Ranma said as she accepted the bowl of soup. "These jerks were gonna let me starve to death in the midst of plenty."
This invited more jeers, of course.
Kasumi smiled and tousled his hair before returning to her place next to Tofu.
"Don't overfeed the Tomboy, ladies," Onna-Ranma called out in a slightly elevated voice. "I gotta walk on its back later and its tummy makes rude noises if it has had too much ta eat."
"Ooh, that sounds like fun!" Ukyou said with a giggle as she stuck another piece of unagi into Otoko-Akane's mouth. "Can I watch?"
"Ask the Tomboy," Onna-Ranma answered between slurps. "I don't care one way or the other."
"Shan Pu bet she squeal like little pig."
"Hey!" Otoko-Akane exclaimed, nearly choking on the rice Shan Pu had just packed into her mouth. "We don't talk about pigs around here, okay?"
Everyone in the room laughed.
"We don't even eat pork anymore," Nabiki said. "You need to get over that, Akane."
"Can't," Akane said. "Sorry. Next time I see 'em, somebody better call a vet."
They ate for an hour-and-a-half. Otoko-Akane became so sleepy one might have thought she was moribund. Onna-Ranma showed no mercy. He made her lay face down on the tatami mats so that he could walk on Otoko-Akane's back while Shampoo, Ukyou and even Soun, massaged her hands and feet. Otoko-Akane moaned, groaned, squealed, cried and, yes, even farted a few times during the ordeal. Konatsu spelled out Onna-Ranma on the back walking duty a couple of times which Onna-Ranma greatly appreciated. The male kunnoichi was much better at it.
After thirty minutes of this treatment, Otoko-Akane became as limp and useless as an overcooked noodle. Onna-Ranma and Konatsu helped her up the stairs and put her to bed. Akane was asleep before her head came in contact with the pillow.
"I think you're safe from her tonight, Saotome-dono," Konatsu said in a quiet voice.
"Hell, that's nothin' new," Onna-Ranma groused. "I haven't been laid for a month now."
"Well, I hope you don't mind if I go home and get laid, Saotome-dono."
"Not a bit of it, Kenzan-sama," Onna-Ranma replied with a knowing grin. "You just keep right on keepin' Ukyou busy. My life is better when she's happy."
"So is hers."
"Yeah, I noticed that," Onna-Ranma said. "You've taken a real load of my mind, thanks."
"No need to thank me," Konatsu replied. "I did it for me."
"I'm sure you did, but thanks anyway. See ya in a few days."
"G'night, Saotome-dono."
"'Night, Konatsu-sama. Take care."
Everyone had put in a long hard day. All of them were gone in a few minutes, save Soun and Nabiki. Ranma's parents had simply vanished after Ranma had stuffed cash in his father's dougi.
"There's fresh coffee in the thermos on the kitchen counter if you want it, Ranma. I'm going to bed."
"Thanks, Nabiki," Onna-Ranma said, as he gave her a hug. "Have a nice trip tomorrow."
"Hah! Getting there won't be the fun this time. Haabu promised to meet me at the station in Hiroshima."
Onna-Ranma gave her a grin. "'Night."
Nabiki all but skipped up the stairs. Onna-Ranma watched her go and shook his head. I don't know how she does it. As busy as we have all been, she's done twice as much the rest of us put together.
"Coffee, Son?"
"Yeah, thanks, Oji-san."
Onna-Ranma walked out onto the engawa and sat down with his feet dangling over the edge. He threw his head back and his arms up for a much needed stretch.
"I don't suppose you have any idea what you look like when you do that, do you?" Soun asked as he handed Onna-Ranma cup of coffe.
"Sorry, Oji-san," Onna-Ranma replied as he accepted the coffee. "I know, I know! I look like something in a girly-mag. Sorry 'bout that. Thanks."
"You're welcome," Soun said as sat down next to the person he already considered to be his son-in-law, and in some ways the son he never had. "You were a little rough on your parents today, son."
"Yeah, I was, Oji-san," Onna-Ranma said in a quiet voice. "I'm sorry I disturbed your wa with our family matters. You need to understand, though, that had ta do what I did."
"If you say so, son."
The two men sipped at their coffee and shared companionable silence. Onna-Ranma was surprised to find that he was more than a little grateful for Soun's friendship and not just because the older man was essentially his father-in-law. Soun had invaluable knowledge and experience that both Ranma and his father lacked. Soun knew how to fit in with a community.
"It's more than the license you're after, isn't it?" Soun asked. "You don't really need it, you know."
"You're wrong there, Oji-san," Ranma said. "I need rules to go by--more than anyone else I know. I...I'm way, way too powerful to try goin' without 'em."
Soun gave out a sigh of heartfelt relief. "And you are much wiser than your years would suggest. You don't know how happy I am to hear you say that."
"Thanks, Oji-san."
"But, you don't really need to pay attention the rules laid down by our evil old master, you know."
"Mmmm, maybe not," Onna-Ranma said suddenly realizing that Soun was paying the role of tempter, "but it's a place to start, okay? Rules like this one are practically universal. They don't really have that much to do with the Old Freak."
"He may well disapprove of Akane's training just to be perverse," Soun said. "It would be just like him. I'm sure he knows how much work Akane and the rest of us have put into this venture. He loves to inflict pain on people. The subtler the pain, the better he likes it."
"Yeah, I noticed, Oji-san. I've been kinda worried about that myself, but I figure we'll hafta wait and burn that bridge if and when we cross it."
"I can't see a better course,either, son," Soun said, nearing tears. "I was hoping against hope that you might've had an insight that I lacked."
"Nope, not when it comes to Happoasi," Onna-Ranma said. "May as well be talkin' about a taifun. He's gonna do whatever in hell it is he's gonna do and the rest of us just hafta find a way to cope. Why did you and Pop take up with him anyways?"
"You know, Ranma, it's the damnedest thing. I can't really remember. Genma and I were talking about this the other day. He can't remember, either."
"Hmph! That's weird."
"Indeed."
"It's a clue."
"A clue?"
"Oh, think about, Oji-san. You know how goddamned nasty the Old Bastard can be. He must've done somethin' ta the both of ya while you were asleep or somethin'."
"I wish that were true, Ranma, I really do," Soun said, doing his best to control the quaver in his voice, "but I think that pure evil knows how to find the little evils in everyone and takes advantage of them."
"Doesn't mean that he didn't use somethin' you had no knowledge of, Oji-san," Onna-Ranma said. "He had to have been into some really creepy shit when he was younger."
"We did a lot of work for some truly creepy people, too."
"Oh, yeah? Who?"
"I am not at liberty to say," Soun said. "Telling you about it would cost me the last few vestiges of honor have left."
"I'd never tell anyone."
"I don't believe you would, son, not intentionally, but once you know something, it's very hard not to act on it."
"That bad, huh?"
"Worse than you can imagine in some cases."
"So why bring it up at all?"
"Two things," Soun said. "One is that sooner or later you will be approached by certain strangers with lucrative offers for employment. The other, I really want to know what it is you want to accomplish with Akane."
"Oji-san, let me put it this way. If any of us ever needs money again, I'll be very surprised. I can do some surprising things as a dragon. As for Akane, I can't really tell you. All I'm really doing is helping Akane become what ever it is that Akane wants to become. You'd hafta talk to her about that."
"Hasn't she said anything to you?"
"Nah, not really. I don't think she knows just yet, but she is developing into something I'm not."
"Something complementary, perhaps?"
"I hope so, Oji-san," Onna-Ranma said with an unexpected quaver in his voice,"but whatever it is, it will be up to Akane, not me. I just hope it ain't somethin' that would cause her to leave me."
"Surely she wouldn't!"
"Hell, Oyaji! She might not have any choice. All I know of for sure is that she's gotta do whatever it is that her drives are tellin' her ta do. I love her too much to hold her back, even if she leaves me in the end."
"She's a lot like her mother, you know."
"I don't know about that, Oji-san. I never had the privilege of knowin' her mom, but I can tell you one thing."
"What's that?"
"She's got your temper and your determination."
Soun threw his head back and laughed. "I was prone to try too hard when I was young. I don't guess I can deny her, now can I."
"Nope! Especially now that she has the curse. She's the spittin' image of ya when she's a guy."
"Sorry about that, Ranma."
"Don't be. You were good lookin' when you were younger."
"I walked into that one, didn't I?"
"Yeah, ya did. More coffee?"
"No, I think not. It gives me nightmares if I drink too much of it this late. I think I'll turn in. So should you."
"I'm gonna try and get in some meditation first, Oji-san. See ya in the mornin'."
"Good night, son."