Title: They're Only Prunes!
Author: Jemma
Story Status: Complete
Series/Sequel Info: None
Season: Late Six - Seven. No Daniel.
Spoilers: None
Categories: Friendships, humour? (I hope!)
Pairings: None
Rating: K
Content Warnings: Mild swearing...very mild.
Summary: Jack joins his team in the commissary, but soon regrets it...
Archive Permissions: Please ask
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters relating to Stargate. They belong to MGM and any of their associates. I'm just playing around with them for a little while!
Authors Note: With thanks to Arnise and Cher for the prune information!! Dedicated to the prune-hater. (That's you Sam...) ;)
Date: 03/02/2003

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It was a seemingly normal day on planet O'Neill, as the man himself strolled down the corridor in search of only one thing: food.

Jack rounded the corner, and pushing open the doors to the commissary was greeting by the rest of his team sitting at the nearest table, and, putting it mildly, eating their asses off.

They all looked up and he was greeting by a round of "Hey Colonel," "Hi Sir," "O'Neill."
"Hey! What'ya guys up to?" he asked happily as he scanned the rather overflowing table for anything he fancied.
"Just some innocent lunch sir, nothing to be concerned about."
Jack nodded his head at Carter's answer, before stopping dead; eyes wide open in shock.

"What the hell are they...?" he asked, pointing to a bowl almost buried by a bunch of grapes.
Jonas proceeded to grab to offending fruit and move it out the way so they could all see what he was pointing to.
And yes. It confirmed his worst fears.

Prunes.

Before he knew what was happening, Teal'c had picked one up, raised it to his lips and sucked it in gently with such precision that it made Jack squirm.

"Gah! Teal'c!! Quit it!!" he shouted, throwing at bread roll at the Jaffa to try and make him stop.
"Do you not find prunes pleasing O'Neill?" he asked cunningly.
"No! I don't! Now put those god damn things someplace else would ya?"
"Oh come on Sir!" Sam chided as she grabbed the bowl and placed between herself and Jonas. "You're telling you don't love the sweet, sickly, runny, gooey, bitter and sweet taste of them?" she asked devilishly as she picked one of the sneaky purple buggers and held it between her fingers, squeezing slightly so the juice ran out.

"Oh my god Carter! What are you? Some kind of sadist?!" he yelled.
"Oh, but Colonel, you can't say to me you don't love the flavoured ones. I mean, orange flavoured goodness all contained within a smooth, sweet casing."
Jack was sure he was going to kill Jonas for picking up that prune and wafting it near his face.

He batted the prune away.
"Hey! Quit it!"
"Come on Sir, don't be such a spoil sport."

Jack looked up from the safe bowl of cheeslets in front of him, and nearly screamed at the sight.
Teal'c, Carter and Jonas; all sucking on prunes.
Slowly.

Jack stood up quickly and jogged to the door. As he opened it he turned around and waved his hand at the rest of his team.

"You...and you...all of you! You're all...the spouses' of prunes! Evil!"
And with that he fled from the room, the door banging shut behind him.
There was silence for a minute.

"So," Jonas began. "Guess the Colonel doesn't like prunes, right?"
"Oh, I'd say so," Sam replied, relaxing back into her chair with a spoon of blue jello.
"Indeed," Teal'c added, slowly placing a lemon flavoured evil to his lips and devouring it slowly. Very slowly...

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