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Sometimes I wonder quite deeply why I was born. Did my parents do something wrong? Or was it perhaps some swing of the pendulum of karma righting some fault I had made in a previous life? I have had all of these possible explanations thrust in my face at one time or another during my 17 years of life. Be it from friends or supposed family, everyone has thrown in their two cents. I suppose that is why I have grown immune to the jeers and taunts.

High School students are cruel, it seems that my every miss-step untimely bump provides them with new fodder for their cannon and the teachers and administration do not seem to care. I would get angry about this... if only I cared. You see it is not school that makes me miserable, it is bad yes, but life can be indefinitely worse.

Renee, my mother. What to say about her today. I suppose the best way to put it is that she is a 12 year old bound in a 36 year old body. Hair brained and with the attention span of a squirrel. I swear she has ADHD or some other undiagnosed reason for her insatiable need for random change and excitement. Half of my youth has been spent attempting to dampen her energy and enthusiasm. You do not quite understand my loathing for this woman. I understand, it is very rare for a child to completely loathe their parent. I shall attempt to explain.

Imagine coming home from school three to four days a month to find everything moved. I mean everything! Couches, tables, lamps, rugs, the microwave and everything in the damned freezer. I have come home to find my own bedroom reorganized and all my underwear and socks moved. That one particular time I finally found them in a basket in my closet after an hour of searching.

If that was not bad enough, the woman then comes home all giddy about the new changes she made to the house and "Isn't it just so exciting, I even color coded your closet clothing system!" Grrr I could strangle her! Every week its some new fad, be it kick boxing, yoga, growing a herb garden (which she never watered and forgot about 3 days later), to skydiving, ice skating, reading... (I know you will just love these new books I got for you Bella!) Do not get me started on her boyfriends either. They rotate in about once a month and I come home to find some random new voice entering my life. I swear it makes me sick.

It is so depressing, that for all of that misery which she put me through on a daily basis, she is the only person I love. She is the only person I could not bear to let go. I have not even gotten to the worst of it yet, now she has gone and really done it. Perhaps that is what makes this flight seem so grim and my world so dark. My mother died yesterday from a crash on the back of a motorcycle driven by her latest fling who had a few too many drinks at the bar. I suppose I will never get the chance to forgive her. Now I am being shipped off by CPS to my supposed father. I cannot even remember my father. I do not even know if he saw me after I was born. It was one of those things I could never get my mother to talk about. I wonder if he even knows that I am blind.

I am Bella, or Bella Blind as the jerks at school would say. This is my story.

---I am going to put up a vote on my Author page to see if this is worth continuing. Please feel free to review, vote and let me know.

Thanks,