I do not own Gakuen Alice, never will...probably :)

My newest story, hope you like it! Don't forget to give plenty reviews- they will go to a good cause (inflating my ego :P)

A Part of my World

Chapter 1

Drowning out the echoes

Even though the orphanage had over a hundred kids, there was never anyone but Natsume to me. It was like I was living life seeing everything in black and white and shades of grey, yet I saw him in such vibrant colours, I never wanted to look away. I remember the first time I met him. We were six years old. The whole world felt black to me, I didn't know where mummy had gone, one moment she was there, crows feet around her eyes and the biggest smile on her face, the next she wasn't, she was gone.

The adults put me in a small room, it smelt like feet and there were lots of broken toys, picture books with half the pages missing, soft toys with stuffing bulging out of tears and rips. It was silent, and I felt that no matter what, I couldn't disturb that silence. All of a sudden my breathing seemed so loud, too deep, so I stopped breathing. The walls started closing in, I had a sick feeling in my stomach and my vision was starting to go black around the edges, everything was fading out to gray scale. Then all of a sudden there was a knock on the door and there he was, being pushed in by another adult.

I watched him, saw his dark hair that was the same colour as a crow feather I had once found on the road. His eyes were bright red, like mummy's necklace. As I watched him, I found it easier to breath, the world came back into focus again and the sick feeling in my stomach disappeared. I smiled at him, tears of happiness in my eyes. All of a sudden everything became clear. He was the colour in my life, he made me happy, so I would do my best to make him happy. My heart felt light as, slowly, he smiled back at me.

From that moment we were inseparable, well, almost, it's not as if we went to toilet together or slept together. Nobody else existed in our world, a world where we could do anything. Although some people tried, we never let anybody into our world, although our world was infinitely big, there was only ever enough space for the two of us, any more and our world would collapse from the extra weight. I remember thinking that we would be together forever, because nobody else existed.

"Ne, Natsume, let's stay together for ever and ever!"

"Of course we will."

"Promise"

"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye"

"YAY! Natsume promised, now we'll be together forever!"

Of course, I never thought that maybe things don't always go as planned. We were meant to be together until the end, but as children living in an orphanage, we were like leaves in a rapid stream, we had no control over our future, we had to go where the current led us. One time when I woke up, he just wasn't there anymore, he just disappeared. The adults all said that he was with a family now, and that I should be happy for him instead of acting so sad. But how could I be happy? My world hadn't exploded or anything, it was still there, but he wasn't. I was all alone in a world with me and memories of him.

For some reason, the memories took up far more space that he ever did. I could see myself sitting in that room again, not breathing in case it disturbed the silence, but this time, it was different. Because inside I was screaming as hard as I could, trying to drown out the shouting of all those memories. I thought that if I screamed loud enough then my world could burst and I would finally be free from that noise pounding in my head. Because life would be so much easier without all those memories haunting me. And although it didn't work for many years, eventually I managed it, to drown out the echoes of all the things we did together. But the colours were never as vivid with him gone, and although I tried to forget, I still had a gaping hole in my heart. But I was fine with that, I could live with what heart I had left, however little that might be. Because, without him, what use would a heart be?

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