Chapter 1: Meet da protaginist

It was a normal day in da undaground hallways of vault 101. Squee, who is The mane character of this story stirred from his sleep to the sound of the sound of the overseers nails-on-a-chalkbbord annoying voice. "Good morning citizens of valt 101. Id like u all 2 no that 2day iz mi daughter amata;s birthday. So in celebration of this happy event every1 in da valt is gonna git a free cupcake!"

"Yippie" thought squee sarcasticly cuz he;s emo and stuff. But that wouldn't stop him from getting a cupcake later. Cuz evry1 loves cupcakes.

Squee got out of his bed and put on his custom valt 101 jumpsoot. Because squee was not ur average valt 101 citizen. No. Squee was….A Ferret!111

You read that right, you dsylecic, retarted man-child. A ferret! You know, the fuzzy little things you can get at petco for like $30. And you will too, because its cheeper than getting a dog. Squee was once upon a time just an ordinary ferret and the pet of old ms. Higgins. But 1 day he snuck in2 the reactor room during a radiation leek, and he mutated in2 a fully sentient ferrit!

The overseer was so amazed by this development that he immediately gave Squee a job in da valt. Changing bedsheets. It left something 2 be desired, and Squee made sure to whine and bitch aboot it as often aqs he culd. Of course, its hard 2 be taken seriously when you look lik sumthin out of a Didney cartoon.

Sqwee walked out in2 da halls of da valt while evry1 else heded of 2 brekfast. He was supposed 2 have da bedshhets changed b4 evry1 got bak. But he almost nevaer did.

He walked up 2 da room of dr. Liam Neeson from the game. When suddenly…Dr. 'Liam nesson frum da game walked out!11

"Hello, squee" he sed

"Oh, it's you" sed squee in an annoyed tone of voice "Hi….."

"You seem bitter, squee" sed dr. Liam neson "Are you allrite?"

"Oh yeah!" sed squee sarcistlicly wit a big smile. "Im just peachy!"

"Is this about me asking to take you apart and put you bak together agin?" asked Dr. liam nessin stoopidly "I only wanted wat was best 4 da scientific community ."

"Yeah?" sed Squee "And I didn't like the prospect of mi adorable little chest being ripped open by your big dumd sausage fingers."

Dr. liam nisson frowned "Look Squee," he sed in a very calming voice becuz he was liam neeson 'I no ders a bit of bad blood between us."

Squee made a hand puppet and mocked liam neeson.

"I think we need to repair our relationship" sed liam neeson "How would you like 2 play poker with me and the gang?"

Squee looked up in surprise "Your kidding?! You want me to play poker with the kool kids klub? Will there be alcholhal? Because last time I got hammered I ran up the skirt of officer palmer and we both had to go to medical to make sure I didn't have rabies."

Liam neeson laffed "Yeah Squee . You'll get 2 play with the KKK. And there will be alcholhal."

"Kick-ass!" yelled squee in voice so high pitched he shattered one the florescent lites "This partys gonna be off da chain with ol' Squee at da helm!"

Liasm neson grimaced. "I'm looking forward 2 it" he sed nervisly.

"Thank u soooo much, mr nisson" sed Squee as he entered da room 2 change the bedsheets "you wont regret it!"

"I hope not" sed liam nisson

Squee completed his job happily for Mr. liam Neeson. For the 1st time in his lyfe, squee found hislfef not wanting to call Liam nisson's stupid kid a 'faggot' for wetting the bed at the age of 21.

And when he went to change Butches's bedsheets and saw that he had left a freshly squeezed turd on the bed like he always did. Squee only dropped 12 F-bombs, as opposed to the usual 79.

He even finished his job on time, well almost on time. 15 minites late. It was better than usual.

Today was a good day for Squee, He even managed to score himself 2 complimentary cupcakes by claiming that 1 of them was 4 Dr. liam nisson. And he knew liam wouldn't squeal on him, cuz he was trying to make amends, and besides he was a goody-2-shoes.

And so that evening Squee went down 2 the maintines level of valt 101 to play poka with the KKK. He had a spark in his step and 2 cupkakes in his belly. He stepped in2 da room 2 play polkor, but dat dozent happin until da nex chapter…..