A/N 1: Inspired by and takes place in a similar world to the one in the Kurtbastian fic, "The Memory of You (Marks Everything I Do). Which I really recommend reading.
A/N 2: This is unbeta-ed, so bear with me if you find any typos.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or any of its characters.
"My body is my journal, and my tattoos are my story." - Johnny Depp
If there was one thing that people always noticed first about Dani Harper, is that she is covered in tattoos. And it made her a bit self-conscious at times. She had a lot of emotional baggage, and people already knew just by looking at her that she had been through some crap to get them, and because of that, people tended to shy away from her. It was really disheartening to say the least. She received her first tattoo at the age of fourteen, when her Mother had passed away unexpectedly in a car accident. She remembered the immense pain when it showed up on the ball of her shoulder. It was a ship's wheel with blue waves crashing on it, and below on a white banner read one simple word: Onward. No one had to explain it to her, she knew exactly what it meant.
Her Mother had always steered her in the right direction, and now that she was gone, Dani was going to have to do it herself. At times it was going to be rough seas, but she would still get through it. She wished it had let her know how long the waves were going to crash into her, because it was almost impossible to deal with at times. She let her feelings get the better of her though. For two straight years, Dani took her depression and anger out on her body. She cut her wrist to relieve the built up stress, and she'd drink herself into unconsciousness to forget, even if it was just for a little while. The drinking didn't go unnoticed by her Father though. He grounded her, but she still found ways. It wasn't until he finally found out about her cutting that he forced her to get some help.
She was sent to a treatment center halfway across the country. She didn't want to be there. She hated the world and had resigned to the fact that she would just be like this forever. It wasn't until a few weeks into her treatment when she realized just how deep she had dug a hole for herself. What would her Mother have thought? She felt so guilty. But this gave her the push she needed to finally change. The next morning after she vowed to get better, she woke up to an ache on both of her wrists. After turning on the light, she stared down at the two words in black script that would become her life mantra: Stay Strong. Those two words got her through the rest of her treatment, and every day since, stopping herself countless times from falling back into her old behavior.
Just after she turned seventeen, she returned to school. She did her best to hide all of her tattoos from prying eyes, not wanting to answer any questions they may entice since not too many teenagers had tattoos yet, let alone two like Dani. But her new-found contentedness didn't last too long. Now that she was sober and actually living life again, she was much more aware. She started to notice girls the way most teenage girls noticed boys. At first she pushed those thoughts away the best she could, trying to focus on school, because those feelings were the last thing she needed, but they only grew stronger. She didn't grow up too religious, her Mother made sure of that, but she identified as Christian, and her Father was a very religious man who frowned upon gay people.
She didn't want to loose him too. Even though they weren't particularly close, he was the only family she had left, and you only get one, right? She struggled for a good year before one night at a party, she kissed another girl for the first time. It just felt right, and anything that felt that right, couldn't be wrong. As she made her way home, the side of her right palm grew itchy. It wasn't until she was back in the safety of her bedroom that she looked to see what was causing her skin to itch, and was surprised to find that a black cross tattoo had appeared. Reaching peace in herself to realize that it was okay to go with her natural instincts. That she could be gay and Christian. That she didn't have to chose one or the other to either make her Father happy or herself happy.
When she was eighteen, she graduated high school and started working at a local coffee shop. It wasn't what she wanted to be doing with her life, but it had to do for now. She hadn't had the money to go to college, so she was stuck in her shitty small town. A couple months after graduation, her Father caught her making out with a girl in their basement and kicked her out of the house, exiling her from his life. The thought of heading out into the real world all alone scared the Hell out of her, but she had nowhere else to go. After she visited her Mother's grave for the last time, not knowing when or if she would ever be back, she headed to the bus station and picked New York at random, just wanting to be anywhere but there longer than she had to be, and hoped for the best.
As soon as she stepped off of the bus in New York, she felt like it had most definitely been the right decision to come here. She felt it inside of her, this is where she was supposed to be. A week later, she found a job at a diner near an apartment that she was renting with her new roommate that actually was relatively normal. She had been weary at first, sharing a home with a stranger, but she was cool. Everything seemed to be coming together. When she got up the first morning to start her new job, she looked down at her right arm. A path of birds had appeared overnight. The tattoo went from her elbow up to the side of her wrist. They obviously symbolized her finally being able to let go her past. She was free. She just smiled at the new addition and got up with a pep in her step.
Just after she turned nineteen, she had been working at the diner for a little over a year. Being just off Broadway, they were always packed during the day, so being a performer and waiter kind of took a lot out of her. It was in that year though, that she rediscovered her love of performing. She had sung when she was a kid, but had never really kept with it after her Mother died. It was after her first solo performance on stage, just her, her guitar, and a lone spotlight shining down on her that she got a tremendous itch on her left arm. By now, she new what it meant. Slowly, below the Stay on her left wrist, a tattoo appeared. A bar of music with scattered notes took form. She was surprised when bright colors appeared in between the lines, pink then fading into purple. Her two favorites.
It ran until about halfway up her arm, but she wasn't complaining, she was just glad that she had another tattoo that didn't hold sad or unwanted memories behind how she got it. It was beautiful. Music had truly brought her back to life, and it was going to be in her life from here on out. For the first time in years, Dani was happy and content with who and where she was. The only thing she really couldn't get right in her life, was dating. New York was chalk full of lesbians, but the ones that she was actually interested in, didn't want a relationship. It was very frustrating. Dani wanted more than just a hook-up in a bathroom. She'd done the whole friends with benefits thing before, and that wasn't her. She wanted to go to dinner, the movies, cuddle, kiss, share secrets.
Being in a relationship was something that she dreamed about since coming to terms with the fact that she was gay. She fantasized about the perfect girl for her. A sense of humor was a must, smart enough to keep up conversation about deep topics, and most importantly, she had to be loyal and honest. It didn't matter was size or color the girl was, just as long as she had those four things. Her friends at the diner had tried setting her up on a few blind dates, but they always ended the same. At one point she decided that enough was enough, and made a pact with herself to focus on the job and music for the time being, and not worry about relationships. She was still young after all, and there was plenty of time. Then things took an unexpected turn when she met Santana Lopez.
Santana has always been the girl that had everything. Her Mother was a lawyer, and her Father a doctor. They had money and she pretty much got everything that she asked for. And for being so busy, her parents always made time for her, and her Abuela always fawned over her, being the only grandchild. She never felt neglected, and in all respects, her life was perfect. It wasn't Santana was thirteen and in middle school, that things started to change. She noticed something in herself that she hadn't really paid much mind to up until then. While all the girls were going crazy over how hot the boys in their classes were, she couldn't care less. She found none of them attractive or wanted to be with them, while having a boyfriend was pretty much all her friends talked about.
When Santana was fourteen and just started eighth grade, her world was flipped upside down. From the second that she laid eyes on Brittany, she was a goner. She had never experienced anything like it before. The girl made her heart race, and she stumbled over her words. But the girl never seemed to notice and immediately, just like that, they were friends. Her nerves calmed down fairly quickly after that, Brittany's innocence making itself known and pulled the girl in even more. However, there was still a moment in everyday when she would look over at her friend, and her heart would skip a beat in her chest. It wasn't until high school started when she learned what the word gay meant. She would sit up at night wondering if what she felt for Brittany made her gay.
Gay was the last thing that she wanted to be though. If you were, that meant you were automatically a target for the school bullies. Their whole Freshman year sucked anyway, she didn't need yet another thing to warrant a slushie facial. When Santana was sixteen and Sophomore year started, her and Brittany tried out for the Cheerios. Once on the team, they quickly became the top bitches and no one messed with them. Though that meant that they were the one dealing out the slushies. Santana felt bad about doing it, but she needed to stay at the top to survive. Making snarky and mean comments to the school losers came with being a Cheerio. It became second nature to her, and she could feel herself changing on the inside. She was no longer the sweet girl she'd always been.
She was now one of the school's biggest bullies and schemers, and everyone was afraid of her temper. That year her, Brittany, and their frenemy Quinn joined the Glee Club at their Coach's request. Their mission was to take down the Club from the inside. Little did Santana expect, they actually liked singing and dancing around. She never admit it, but it was the best part of her day. Even if it was with the most annoying loser of them all, Rachel Berry. They still did horrible things to help Sue, but not enough to damage the Club for good. They needed the Club as much as the Club needed them. It was frustrating beyond belief. Being in Glee was not a cool thing, and they got picked on a lot. And they lost the chance to prove themselves when they didn't get to Nationals.
Junior year wasn't much better. With the tables still turned on Santana, trying to find a balance between the Cheerios and Glee Club, coupled with her internal struggle about her feelings for Brittany in her head, it was becoming a lot to handle. She started dating guys, and by dating, that mostly meant making out with them behind the dumpsters at school or at one of Puck's parties, or occasionally sleeping with them. When Santana turned seventeen, that was the night that changed. Brittany had stayed after her party, and had spilled her feelings. They ended up kissing most the night, and for once the Latina had pushed away all her thoughts and enjoyed the moment she had been thinking about since her and Brittany met. But when she woke up the next morning she was scared shitless.
Santana never revealed her feelings for Brittany, but they would still kiss when they were alone, and they both saw guys on the side. Santana had made out with pretty much every guy on every sports team they had, trying to feel something, and no one compared to the blonde. She wanted to be with her so badly, but there were too many things to worry about. School, her parents, her Abuela. Senior year came and Santana turned eighteen. At this point, Santana had had enough of pretending to be into guys, so her and Brittany came to an agreement of seeing each other in secret and no more boys. They were still bummed about loosing Nationals, all because of Frankenteen and Berry's kiss, but thankfully at school, things let up because they had actually made it there that time.
It made twelfth place not feel so pathetic. But the relief didn't last long. She just couldn't have kept her trap shut, insulting the Jolly Green Giant as usual, and as payback, he exposed her secret. Maybe not intentionally, because it was someone that had overheard Finn telling Santana that she should just come out already because they all knew that she loved Brittany. But still. Not something you announce in a hallway. Her being gay was used as a campaign against her Coach, for whatever position in office she was running for. So she was forced out of the closet and had to tell her family before the ad aired on TV for all of Ohio to see. It was a nightmare. She had realized that this would have happened sooner or later. Well, not the deadline to come out, but the coming out itself.
She was still trying to accept it herself, and she was nowhere ready to tell her family, but it had to be done. The day before the commercial was scheduled to air, she did it. After dinner, she had sat her Mother and Father down on the sofa in the living room, then preceded to pace back in for in front of them for ten whole minutes, effectively scaring them before she finally blurted it out. Of all things, they were relieved, thinking she had gotten into trouble with a gang or involved with drugs or something like that. They had embraced her with open arms, and guessed that she was with Brittany. Apparently they weren't as discreet as they thought. It was then that she realized, if her parents could accept her for who she was, just maybe she could accept herself completely too.
As her Father rubbed her back and she sunk into her Mother's warm embrace, a stinging sensation started on the back of her neck. At first she tried to ignore it, wanting to enjoy the moment of closeness she had with her parents, but when the pain got to be too much she asked her Mother to see what was causing her pain. Once her hair was pushed back, there was a small, excited gasp. Her Mother took her into the bathroom and set up the mirrors in a way that she could see it. It was a heart, and in the outline, it was colored in with all the colors of the gay pride rainbow. After putting some lotion on it to sooth the pain, she took a picture of it and sent it to Brittany, who loved it. Santana actually liked it too, until she realized that everyone would see it.
It was unavoidable when she wore her high ponytail for Cheerios every day. Yes, she knew that most everyone would see the TV ad about her, but everyone knew those things spread lies all the time. Now she wouldn't be able to deny it. She wanted to just cover it up, but that wasn't something people did. You were supposed to be proud of your tattoos, not ashamed. At least that's what she had always been taught. The next day wasn't a school day, thankfully, because Santana wanted some more time to prepare herself mentally. But she also needed to tell her Abuela before one of her friends saw the commercial and nosily called her to see if it was true. Once she'd gotten there, as per usual, her Abuela tried to get her to eat, saying that she was too skinny.
Santana couldn't eat if she tried, she was way too nervous and would most likely end up getting sick. The night before she had practiced a small speech, explaining how she felt. It was short and simple, which is just what she needed, not wanting to go on and on uncomfortably, probably stuttering her way through it. However, when she got to the point, the part about how she liked girls instead of guys, shit hit the fan. Her Abuela immediately got upset, and banished her from the house, not even letting her explain further. All these years that they had been so close. It was like she had crumpled up their relationship and threw it in the garbage. Had it not meant that much to her as it had Santana? Her heart ached, never before had she experienced this much emotional pain.
Her parents had tried to talk some sense into the older woman, but she was not having it. She was set in her ways. Her Mother insisted that she just needed some time to get used to the idea, and Santana really hoped that was the case. She couldn't picture her life without her Abuela. She had been there from day one. Always able to count on her for anything. But only time would tell now. By the time she was back in school, pretty much everyone had seen the ad on TV, and Santana did everything she could to keep it together. A few people thought it was a joke until they saw the tattoo on the back of her neck. The only ones that seemed to have a problem with it, were the guys. She got more propositions to "turn her straight" then she could count, infuriating her.
The girls of Glee Club actually came to her rescue more than once, which she was more than grateful for, but hasn't expected. She just hated that everyone and their cousin knew about her. It was a relief when her fellow Cheerios seemed to be accepting, already guessing that her and Brittany were together. If anything, she now knew that there were two groups of people that had their backs. The rest of the year went very well, considering the circumstances. The whole gay things calmed down after a month or so, and eventually Santana grew comfortable enough to kiss and hold her girlfriend's hand in public. It wasn't until close to graduation that a monkey wrench was thrown into her plans. Brittany didn't say anything to anyone until the last minute that she wasn't going to graduate.
Santana's Mother was adamant about her going to college, especially in Louisville because, not only was it close to home, but she would have a full-ride on a cheerleading scholarship. In the end, after graduation and a summer trying to savor every moment with Brittany that she could, she left Lima and her girlfriend behind. They talked as much as they could, but it still sucked being away. Cheerleading practice for the Cardinals was more rigorous than Sue Sylvester's, which was hard to believe. And with her trying to keep up on school work, it was hard to keep in contact with Brittany, or keep their Skype dates because practice always ran late, or she was too tired to do anything other than fall into bed. It was only after two months in when she just couldn't do it anymore.
It was the last thing that she wanted to do, but she broke up with Brittany. The distance and busy schedules were unfair to the blonde and too stressful for Santana. In the end, it seemed like the best decision, even though it hurt like Hell. After a few more weeks in Louisville though, she figured out that college just wasn't her thing, and on a whim, packed up her things and flew to New York. There really was not too much fight on Rachel and Kurt's part when she announced that she would be moving in with them, though they did express some irritation at the unexpectedness of it all. To her surprise, both Rachel and Kurt had broken up with their boyfriends and were now seeing new people. What bugged her the most was not long after, Rachel's boy toy, Brody, moved in.
There was always something about that dude that Santana felt was off. He had that creep vibe, but no one else noticed it. Her pursuit to find out what it was got her temporarily kicked out of the apartment, which pissed her off. They had chosen a guy they barely know over her. It stung, but that didn't let that deter her. She found out that he was, not a serial killer like she suspected, but an escort. Once he was gone, things got better. Rachel had apologized and offered her a permanent place at the loft. Even though on the inside she was still angry about the whole situation, she would be crazy to turn that down, so she moved back in. Things didn't go as smoothly as she wanted, trying her hand at being a cage dancer at the Coyote Ugly bar before Rachel urged her to quit.
Even though it was none of Gay Berry and Lady Lips' business, she did end up quitting. Mostly just wanting the brunette to stop bugging her about it. So she branched out and auditioned for commercials in her spare time, and actually booked one. However, it was a bit embarrassing because people recognized her as the Yeast-I-Stat girl, but at least it was a start to making a name for herself. And she had to admit, being the girl with the yeast infection was much better than being the girl in the hemorrhoid commercial that was shot by the same people that had done hers. Now that shit was funny. But to make ends meet to be able to continue staying at the loft, she started working at a diner off Broadway. Serving and singing wasn't so bad. And that's also where she met Dani.
Dani didn't know her name at first. The darker girl had just rushed in, grabbed an apron, and started working. The blonde had been off the past few days, but she recalled Gunther saying something about needing to hire a few more people. When she wasn't taking orders, she was too busy staring at the other girl. The girl made it easy to forget what she was doing, over-filling a few salt shakers because of the distraction. Dani reminded herself that she was a professional, so she quit leering and focused on work. They had opposite sections to take care of, and only came across each others every once in a while. When things finally calmed down after dinner, she had been wiping down tables, but could feel eyes on her. Multiple times she would look up to find the girl looking at her.
It was quite adorable when she would nervously look away, having been caught, and Dani couldn't help but smile. It wasn't until the next day that they were properly introduced, having gotten stuck filling up ketchup bottles, and one of the first things out of Santana's mouth was indirectly asking if she were gay or not, which she wasn't expecting. Yeah, that whole pact Dani made with herself kind of flew out the window then. Once she started flirting though, Santana didn't seem to know what to do. In reality, it was false confidence on the blonde's part. She really didn't know what she was doing, but hey, it seemed to be working, and Santana would stutter every once in a while when they made eye contact. It was pretty clear that Dani would have to be the one to ask the other girl out.
At the end of their shift, they watched the sunrise together, even shared a duet of one of Dani's favorite songs. Their voices were perfect together, neither overpowering the other. Without even noticing, just enjoying each others company, they had made it to Dani's apartment that was located just a couple blocks down the street from the diner. On an impulse decision, the shorter girl kissed Santana. Neither could hide their smile as they parted, both knowing that it was the start of something new. Something good. It had only been a few months since Santana had broken up with Brittany, but she had been on a few dates since, and Brittany was already dating Trouty Mouth back home. She knew if they were going to do this, things were going to have to go slow for a while.
Dani had completely understood and thought that taking it slow was best. They even agreed to not date anyone else in the mean time, which they were both happy about. The blonde was elated that she finally found someone that actually wanted a relationship with her, and Santana was intrigued by these feelings in her that Dani caused. Things that Brittany hadn't even made her feel. It started like any friendship, they bonded over their love of performing, and Santana told her story after story about the Glee Club, making the tiny girl laugh so loud it echoed in the empty diner at three in the morning. It quickly became Santana's favorite sounds because it was just so goofy and contagious that she usually ended up laughing just as hard. They were sure that Gunther was annoyed by them.
They didn't care though. It felt so natural, once Santana realized that there was nothing for her to be nervous about. Sure, she was a pretty girl, but there was so much more to her than just that. She could see it in those brown orbs. It wasn't until the girl took off her sweater that she noticed her tattoos. She didn't think she's ever seen so many on such a young person before. It made her more curious, but didn't ask about them though. Santana understood that tattoos were a very private thing, and a lot of people didn't like talking about why they got them. So she admired them silently as she watched Dani wipe down the bar counter, trying not to stare. The last thing she wanted was to make her uncomfortable, especially now that they had fallen into such an easy friendship.
But she did hope that one day they would be close enough for the blonde to open up about them. In the mean time, they hung out at Dani's apartment, covering a ton of other topics that probably would have been awkward if they were talking to anyone else. Santana had explained to her what happened with Brittany, and Dani told her about her Father catching her with girl. They both had had some issues on the gay front, but they came out on top in the end, even though they both also lost a family member in the process. Dani didn't seem too upset up about her Father anymore, but she didn't know it she was just putting on a brave face or not. Santana was still torn up about her Abuela. The blonde felt for her, for once making a connection with someone that could understand what it was like.
Over the next couple months, they shared quick kisses here and there, and started to hold hands when they walked together. Their dates were much more exciting to Santana, being that there was just so much more to do in New York City than Lima, Ohio. When they saved up some money, they would go to places like the MET, Coney Island, The Empire State Building, and The New York Aquarium. Each date was an adventure. Dani absolutely loved discovering new things with Santana. There was just something about seeing that spark in her eyes that made her heart race. But the times when they just cuddled up together at each others apartments were just as good, though Santana preferred Dani's place so Kurt or Rachel wouldn't tease her about being a softie.
She really wasn't one for too much physical affection, even with Brittany, but she couldn't get enough of it from Dani. She didn't know whether that was because she was finally the most comfortable she had ever been in her own skin in an environment that was much more accepting, or if it was just the blonde. Or a combination of the two. At times she felt a bit clingy, but the girl didn't seem to mind. Things pretty much stayed on the innocent side between them, until the night that Rachel got the role of Fanny Brice in the Broadway show Funny Girl. Once everyone's shift ended, they all headed back to the loft and opened a bottle of champagne, ending the night sprawled out on the floor while singing along to Beatles tunes and laughing at each others tipsy renditions of the songs.
Rachel passed out on the couch only after a few drinks. Kurt at least made it to his bedroom before collapsing. The two Latinas had still been laying on the floor, making each other laugh. Santana wasn't even phased by the alcohol, she had a pretty high tolerance since she'd been drinking since high school, and Dani was perfectly sober due to the fact that she had been drinking water, since alcohol wasn't her friend anymore. At one point, Santana was hovering over her girlfriend, lightly tickling her sides just enough to elicit a small giggle. Dani had reached up and brushed come of her raven hair behind her ear, and their eyes met. Noses brushed against one another before neither could hold back anymore. Their lips met in the middle and hands found purchase anywhere they could. It was perfect.
Surprising Santana, Dani's lips nudged hers apart and captured her plump bottom in between hers, sucking gently. Fireworks erupted behind both of their eyes. This was their first time making out, and it was glorious. It made them wonder why the Hell it took them this long. Oh yeah, they were going slow. But this was definitely a great step to the next level. Dani spent the night for the first time that night, Santana not wanting her to go home alone when it was so late. Since Rachel was still on the couch, the only other place left was Santana's bed. At first, both girls were a bit nervous. This would be Dani's first time sharing a bed with anyone, and this would be Santana's first time sharing a bed with someone that wasn't Brittany. But once they had gotten settled, it was like everything fell into place.
They had tried to sleep on their respective sides, but both ended up meeting in the middle only minutes later, arms wrapping around each other before peacefully drifting off. The next morning, Santana woke up first, and to her surprise, was being spooned from behind by Dani. Which was funny, since she was smaller. They must have been a sight. As they got even closer, they spent all of their free time together, except for when both had auditions for their respective interests. Both received some success, Dani ended up being the opening act for a popular indie band in town, and Santana had gotten another commercial, that was less embarrassing, that aired nationwide. It wasn't until Kurt mentioned that he was finally starting his band, that he asked all three girls if they wanted to join.
Dani jumped at the chance, while she had to break out a pouty lip to get Santana to agree. And then Rachel followed suit a few days later. Auditions at NYADA for the band hadn't been as successful as Kurt has anticipated, only one guy ended up coming. Starchild, or Elliot as he was better known, was mega talented and a very showy performer, but was too over the top for Kurt's liking. It wasn't until Rachel had given him a talking to that he decided that he's what they needed. Thankfully, Elliot had hunted Kurt down to the diner and gave a speech at how he needed to be in the band, and the girls were ecstatic that with him and a few NYADA friends on drums, bass, and keyboard, their band was complete. But it was kind of hard to get practices in...
They all worked, Kurt and Rachel attended NYADA, Elliot had NYU, and then Rachel had Funny Girl on top of that. But they made things work to the best of their ability. They got gigs here and there, at kind of weird places and some small crowds, but it was better than nothing. However, when things got to be too much, Rachel had to drop out. It wasn't like they were left helpless though, they still had four powerhouse voices in the group. After much discussion, and by majority rule, they renamed their band, going from Pamela Lansbury (because it didn't feel the same without Rachel), to Santana's original idea, The Apocalypsticks, much to Kurt's annoyance at first, but it kind of grew on him after a couple weeks. And it actually seemed to help them get more gigs.
Soon, the opening night of Funny Girl came. Nobody had seen Rachel so nervous in, well...ever. After handling his friend's small panic attack in the dressing room, Kurt made his way back out into the theater, where he took his seat with his friends. Dani and Elliot had both come to show their support, even if they weren't as into musicals as Kurt, Santana, and Rachel were. She brought the house down, getting a standing ovation that lasted long enough to probably give Berry a big head. No doubt would she be getting amazing reviews the next day. The after party took place at some swanky hotel. Rachel was mostly busy with people constantly coming up to her to praise her and ask for a picture, so Santana and Dani took to the dance floor, while Kurt and Elliot hung out by the bar.
When Rachel finally joined them, Santana noticed that she'd been scratching her side quite frequently, and joked that if she kept it up, people would think she had a rash or something equally as gross. Finally taking her to the bathroom, they lifted up her dress, expecting to find a bug bite, but coming to find that it was a new tattoo, still red from coming in. It was the two iconic theater masks. They were located on the brunette's right side of her ribs, the sad one, shaded in blue and the happy one, shaded in purple. Rachel smiled as she let her fingers gently trail along the outline. It was actually her second tattoo, the first never really having told or shown anyone other than her Fathers because it was very personal to her. But this one was different. It reaffirmed that she was on the right path.
After saying goodnight to Elliot, the foursome made their way back to the loft. Because of Rachel's new addition, the topic of tattoos came up. Kurt shyly showed one that he had gotten in high school after he stood up to his bully. It was on right shoulder blade, and in nice script said: It gets better. Santana had showed them her rainbow heart, since they had never seen it up close, and Dani, for the first time, let Santana hold her arm in her hands and examine hers closely, but refrained from putting the spotlight on the girl until Rachel and Kurt left to get ready for bed. The Latinas cuddled up close on the couch and talked softly in the quiet loft. It was then that Dani knew she was ready. Ready to share her most personal stories with Santana, knowing that it would only bring them closer.
She showed a picture of her Mother on her phone before getting into the story behind the ship wheel on the ball of her shoulder. She opened up about the struggles that she dealt with in her Mother's absence, and the meaning of Stay Strong on her wrists. Then came accepting that it was okay to be gay and still have faith, rubbing her cross tattoo on the side of her palm. Once all the emotionally draining stories were done, she excitedly told her about the trail of birds up her arm and the colorful music bar that she had got since being in New York. Santana had stayed silent the entire time, just content in learning more about her girlfriend. When she was done, all Santana could do was kiss her, and tried to convey every emotion that was inside of her, into that kiss.
There were so many things that she wanted to say, but Santana had never been good with words. The way she felt for the blonde made her heart pound, and there was no doubt in her mind that she was falling hard for the girl that had been through so much. When the start of the holidays rolled around, the two girls had been dating for about five months. Knowing that the blonde didn't have any welcoming family to go back to, Kurt, Santana, and Rachel all stayed in New York for Thanksgiving. They had all pitched in with the cooking, filling the table with delicious-looking foods. When they finally sat down and gathered around the turkey (and Rachel's tofurkey). They felt like a family. An unconventional one, but still. And Dani was so thankful that she had met these people.
When Christmas came, Santana didn't hesitate to invite her girlfriend back to Lima with her. Her Mother probably would have killed her if she hadn't, telling her countless times in their phone calls that she was excited to meet Dani. She loved that her Mother was so enthusiastic, but she was still worried about her Abuela. She hadn't seen or heard from the woman since the day she came out to her. After much deliberation, the two finally agreed to stay at Santana's parent's house rather than get a hotel. Dani was nervous to meet Santana's family, especially on a holiday, not wanting to feel like she was intruding. But as soon as they stepped foot in the doorway, Santana's Mother, Maribel, welcomed her with open arms and the same bright smile that she loved about her girlfriend.
Santana's room had been untouched, same as she had left it when she went away to Louisville. Her tastes had definitely changed a bit, not being so into black as she used to be, but she had missed her Bob Marley poster and the pillow that she had made in Home Ec. The rest of the family started to arrive a short time later, and Dani was a bit overwhelmed at how many there were. It was true, Santana had a shit-ton of cousins, but they all seemed to like Dani right off the bat, especially after they had roped her into playing in the snow with them in the back yard. Santana and Maribel watched them duke it out in a snowball war through the kitchen window with smiles on their faces. It was then that Santana admitted for the first time aloud to anyone, even herself, that she loved Dani.
Almost immediately, the skin on her chest started to burn. It was an intensity that she had never felt before, and it was enough to make her eyes water as she clutched at her clothes, feeling the heat radiate through them. Suddenly her Mother was there, handing her a plastic bag with some ice in it. Santana stuffed it in her shirt and prayed that it would make the pain die down. It took a few minutes, and half the ice melted in the meantime, but everything had subsided. Relieved, she pulled the ice pack out and sat it down on the counter, then unbuttoned her sweater to get a look at what had caused her so much pain, though she had an idea. And she was right. On her tan, irritated skin, right over her heart, was a tattoo. It was an old-fashioned key with a red ribbon that simply said: DANI.
Maribel covered her mouth with both of her hands, her eyes tearing up as she looked at the new addition to her daughter's body. Santana was slightly confused. Did this mean that she had the key to Dani's heart, or that Dani had the key to her heart? Either way, it was pretty rare to get someone elses name tattooed on you. It was a special sign that they were meant to be. Hearing everyone come back in from outside, Santana buttoned back up her sweater and her Mother wiped the joyous tears from her eyes, trying to act as normal as possible when Dani stepped into the kitchen, having now shed her coat and snowy shoes. As the kids rushed by them, eager to see how the food was coming, Santana didn't hesitate to gather the blonde up in her arms.
They eagerly kissed, getting lost in each other until Maribel kicked the kids out of the kitchen, saying the food would be done later. They walked past saying things like "Santana and Dani sittin' in a tree...", or "ew, no kissy stuff, get a room!". They broke apart with smiles, neither thinking that they would have been so happy in their lives. Everything was pretty damn perfect until later that night. It was the part that Santana had been dreading. Her family always went to church with her Abuela every Christmas Eve. She really had just wanted to stay home with the blonde and wait for everyone to get back so they could have dinner, but Maribel had insisted that she come, and Dani had no problem with going to church with them and eventually convinced Santana.
As soon as she stepped foot in the church, there were stares. Apparently people hadn't forgotten about the ad campaign fiasco that outed Santana. Luckily, not everyone looked like they were waiting for God to strike her down with a lightning bolt because she dare step her lesbian self into a Catholic church. On the plus side, she was happy to see some old family friends again. However, Santana practically rejoiced when the service was finally over. During dinner and in the conversations after, her Abuela promptly ignored her and Dani, like they weren't even there. It was upsetting to say the least, but it was better than her acknowledging them only to say hurtful things. Maribel had tried to convince her to at least say hello to them, but she had refused, keeping quiet.
Dani hated seeing her girlfriend internally struggling, but keeping a brave face in front of everyone. It was the pink elephant in the room, but they were thankful that no one paid any mind to it. Everyone went to bed not long later, but Santana laid awake in bed, which in turn, kept Dani up. Eventually, they both gave in to exhaustion and fell asleep for the night. The next morning, the cousins had woken the rest of the house up with their loud, obnoxious antics, and everyone was downstairs for breakfast by ten. The gift exchange was after that, Santana receiving a wishbone-shaped, silver necklace from Dani that she'd seen in a window when they were out walking the streets of New York. And she had gotten Dani the black leather jacket she's had her eye on for months.
What was even cuter, was that since Maribel and her husband didn't know Dani until the day before, they hadn't known what to get her, so Maribel whipped out her knitting materials and made her a custom beanie. The blonde loved it, saying it would go with her new jacket as she put it on top of her head. She couldn't even describe how warm it made her heart. Things made from the heart were better than anything money could buy. As the adults cleaned up the wrapping paper mess, Dani excused herself out onto the front porch, leaning against the wood rail to catch her breath. Santana had followed a minute after, making sure that she was okay. Not being able to hold back anymore, her tears fell down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around the taller girl's waist, holding her close.
They were tears of joy and slight disbelief that she had found the perfect family to be apart of. She felt...loved. Yes, so loved. And she loved them. She loved Santana more than she could have ever anticipated. And she told her that, for the first time as snow flakes started to fall around them. It was a Christmas that neither girl would forget. When they pulled apart, Dani showed Santana the tattoo she had received earlier in the day, not exactly knowing what it meant. It was a intricately designed lock, just over her heart. Santana knew what it meant though, and couldn't wait to show Dani. That night Santana surprised Dani with a hotel room. Both needing a short break from the family to just breathe with each other. And to well...celebrate their love.
Hours later, they lied naked, limbs tangled, the bed sheets half covering their bodies, pillows strewn on the floor. Their chests pressed against one another, bringing their tattoos together as they cuddled. Santana couldn't stop smiling down at the beautiful girl below her. She was hers. Dani was the lock to her key, and she couldn't wait to spend the rest of their lives together.
A/N: Well, I hope you all liked that. I didn't really anticipate writing a story with zero dialogue, but it just came out that way. Anywho, I am working on another Dantana story at the moment, not sure when it will be published, but if you want to keep informed or if you have any questions or suggestions, message me on my Tumblr: ceceash.
A/N: I MIGHT write a second chapter or sequel to this, because people have been asking some questions about Santana and why she doesn't have as many tattoos as she probably should. My answer is, there are a lot of things that she hasn't dealt with yet. In regards to her Abuela, she hasn't received one because she hasn't neither accepted the fact that she may never speak to her again, nor has she tried to mend the bond herself. She's just kind of in limbo, waiting. Once one of those happen, she will receive one. As for Brittany, she was sort of a part of her rainbow heart tattoo. And addressing the eating disorder the show has alluded to multiple times, I don't think Santana thought she had a serious problem. If you'd like a sequel dealing with that stuff, let me know.