It's Not Over
Speedfanatic05
Summary: Is it truly over for him?
Word Count: 1,030
A/N: This was written to a song, The Story, by Brandi Carlile. This story is dedicated to Kas, for her wonderful help and inspiration! Thanks, Kas! ;)
A/N#2: This is for the Miamitalkfic challenge prompt
He sat at the bar, his demeanor reticent of the loneliness that his heart was accustomed to. With his head bowed and back arched, it seemed as if he was trying to disappear into the wooden bar, assured that if he remained in this position, he would garner no attention. After a day like today, a life like his, solitude was what he craved. Smirking to himself, he sat up straight, his hand going to the glass that sat unassumingly on the bar, next to his badge and the one thing that was constantly guiding him to this place. The place where they had come so many times, he knew everyone by their names. As much as he wanted to have another , the glass that was now poised in his hand would likely be his first and last tonight, remembering that he didn't come here to forget, but to remember or try to remember just why he kept doing this to himself.
Placing the glass to his lips, he let the amber liquid slide down his throat, reacting with a slight wince and a gasp of breath as the drink burned going down. Incidentally, the burning reminded him that he was still alive, despite the sorrow, pain and despair that had peppered his life, and he counted it to be a miracle that he could still feel, even if it wasn't the most pleasurable of emotions. He would take those feelings over being numb any day.
Putting the glass down, he looked up into the mirror that was behind the bar and stared at the image before him. Alarmed by what he saw, he continued to stare, noticing for the first time, and the extensive lines in his face. His normally bright blue eyes were dormant now, the light gone out of them a long time ago. With all that had been going on recently in his life, he rarely had time or the desire to really look at himself, but now he had no choice. It was staring him in the face, clearly. Years and years of him being the fighter, the protector, the rock in which everyone could stand on was suddenly very evident. His eyes crinkled as he studied his face further, seeing how the once fine, unnoticed lines had become deeper with the worn expressions that had driven his life to where it was now, the paths of his travels being etched upon him as if he were fine granite. To most, it would've signified that he was getting older and his time was near it's ending, but to him, they stood for the strength and resilience that he possessed, even in the face of the ultimate sadness. Even when he lost what was so precious to him. With their heaviness, the many instances of his pain running within the lines stood as a testament to whom he was and who he had become. Horatio was made by those tragic events, as well as the accomplishments that dotted the landscape of his life. It was something he was both proud and reticent of.
The glint of his ring caught his attention, and he adverted his eyes away from the mirror, focusing on the simplest symbol of their love. He knew he should've taken it off by now; Marisol had been gone for more than a year now, but he couldn't quite find it within himself to discard what they had been together so easily. Though they had been married only a short time before her demise, he knew that she had impacted his life and made it better. Despite the obvious differences, their ages and backgrounds, both he and Marisol found a way to make it work and it all came down to something as simple as smiling. Hers had a way of making his once colorless world vivid again, chasing away any doubts that invaded him. Simply by gazing upon her smile, his world was right again. Conversely, she told him once that his added years to her life, and that he should do it more often. To appease her, every time he was with her, he would smile; just get one as a reward. Something as simple as a smile had changed his life forever. Even now as he thought about her, one crept up and faded just as quickly as it came. His only wish that she'd been right; she'd be here, beckoning him to their favorite table. But that was where he was now, alone and now contemplating his future without her or the lab.
A sudden thought arose in him and he looked up at himself once more, now seeing what he saw every morning when he got ready for work, the determination to set right, the wrongs of this world, one case at a time. It was his charge to make it a better place for others, to make it safe for them to experience life altering moments like the one he had, utter happiness and love. Glancing away, he lifted up off of the stool leaving a half of glass of liquor on the bar as he reached in his pocket to pull his wallet. Tossing the money on the bar, he nodded to the bartender and then grabbed his badge, clipping it on his belt and readjusting his jacket, it falling in the precise way it should. Fishing his keys out of his trouser pocket, he made his way to the door, taking a last glance around the bar, swearing for one moment, he saw her standing where he had been, a bright smile on her face. Pushing through the door, he felt relief coming over him, knowing that he had come here as a way to remember why he still did this day in and day out. He had come here to remind himself that it wasn't over. Not by a long shot.
End