I know I haven't been writing much lately, and I am sorry about that, trust me. But I thought I might want to give you guys a little Chalant to make up for it. Am I forgiven?
Zatanna's P.O.V.
Every night, the same. Torture, constant torment as the back of my mind takes advantage of my sleep, conjuring visions and pulling up memories I don't want to remember.
If I could stop myself, I would.
Unfortunately, wishing doesn't help. If it did, I'd wish for a lot of things. To have my dad back, to make it so my mother, Sinella, never died in childbirth. I'd even wish for all villainy to be wiped from the world, though that would probably put my friends out of a job.
Oh yeah. Lots of things.
But like I told the Team the first time I met them, such things were impossible.
My life could have been worse from the night my dad put on the Helmet of Fate. At least I had the Team. At least I had Robin.
But even though the Team's concern and sympathy protects me during the day, it's at night when the nightmares come to haunt me, when they make me scream and cry out.
Eventually, I always wake up, which is a relief, although the chill of anxiety always claws its way into my mind, reminding me that the moment I fall asleep again, the dreams will come back.
Sometimes, very rarely, the memories leave me alone. A few hours normally, maybe half a day if I'm lucky. But those moments are few and far in between.
I have noticed, though, that every time these moments of peace come, it always happens when Robin's nearby.
A movie night, a day when Batman tells him he can stay at the Cave and we have no missions.
I could never tell him that he's the balm to my wounds, though. I don't know how he'd take it, and I'd be extremely embarrassed.
But I don't like having him around, or just him in particular, just because he makes my nights peaceful. It's more than that.
He's just always there, to comfort me by squeezing my shoulder or giving me a brief smile that sets my heart fluttering, to crack a joke to make me laugh, or draw me into a conversation so that I don't have time to mourn. We have the same interests, the same hobbies and we get along with each other so well.
Now, I can barely imagine life without seeing him smile at me, or pondering what color his eyes are behind that mask or his pair of shades.
I've never admitted it to before now, even to myself, but I know it's the truth.
I am crazy, madly in love with Robin, the boy who completes me.
I was walking through gray fog, searching for something, but I didn't know what.
But the smoke thickened, turned substantial, and soon I was struggling to weave my way through it, tendrils of fog snatching, grasping at my clothes, straining to stop me.
Then I saw him. Both of them, actually.
My dad, smiling at me, waving with one hand while his other was holding the hand of a woman I'd only seen in photographs.
She looked a lot like me, really. Same lustrous black hair, blue eyes that shone gently and the pale skin.
"Mom!" I cried out, wrenching my hand free to reach towards my parents, my fingers straining to touch them. "Dad!"
But they just smiled and waved, while I realized I was starting to sink.
The smoke started to clamber up my legs, my waist while other tendrils held me still. I started screaming, but still my parents stood there, somehow under the impression that everything was fine.
Soon, the smoke was pulling at the jacket I wore, the arm that had been hanging loosely at my side. My chest, shoulders. I was up to my neck, straining to keep my head above the fog as I still struggled to reach my parents, my hand grasping uselessly at the air.
"Dad! Mom!" I shrieked. "Help me!"
But they just stood and stared as I the fog reached up and covered my mouth, my nose, then my eyes. And I continued to scream as I drowned while my parents watched on, the smile never leaving their faces.
I woke up, gasping, my hand still reaching out in front of me for the parents I couldn't have. I gulped in a few deep breaths, realizing that my whole body was shaking before the tears came.
I cried and cried, the sobs racking my body until my eyes were red and I had no more tears. I was still trembling like a leaf in the wind, so fragile that a single gust could separate me from the tree that was my sanity and anchor.
Glancing at the clock, I saw the time. 11:16. It had barely been two hours since I'd gone to bed.
Even though the shaking wouldn't stop, I got up and staggered slightly towards the door. It opened automatically and I walked into the hallway before leaning against the cool stone, my face pressed against it as I breathed in the cold, dry smell of the Cave.
I stood there for a few moments, trying to stop the trembling that racked my body before continuing on, my hands and legs still shaking slightly.
I knew it would be stupid to try to go back to sleep, not after the nightmare that had so far been the worst.
The whole cave was dark and quiet, at least I thought it was.
As I passed the training facility, I noticed bright light peeking from under the door that led to it. I stepped towards it curiously, wondering which of the Cave's inhabitants would still be up, although it wasn't unusual.
The door slid open and I blinked at the bright light before stepping in. Once my eyes became accustomed to the brightness, they widened as I saw who was occupying the gym.
Robin was there, his mask on though he wasn't wearing the rest of his suit, instead wearing a tightly fitting costume like the ones acrobats wore in the circus. I had to admit that I liked the view, and noticed that he had grown a little bit taller than when I last saw him, a few weeks ago.
"Robin?" I asked in surprise, though my voice was weak and wavering.
Turning in shock, he fell off the balance beam he had been practicing on.
I clapped a hand to my mouth and ran to help him.
"I'm sorry!" I rambled. "I couldn't… uh, sleep, so I got up and started walking around. I saw the light was on, so I came in and I-"
"It's alright," Robin interrupted, chuckling as he got off the floor. "I kinda had a fight with Batman, so I came to the Cave to…"
His reflective lenses widened as he looked on my face and I realized that I was trembling once again and that my eyes were probably red and my face blotchy.
Up close, he was even taller and I tried to keep myself from breathing erratically at his closeness.
"What happened?" He demanded, his face searching mine.
I looked away and didn't meet his gaze. "Just a, um, a bad dream." I said quietly.
His gaze softened, but I refused to look up.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He said softly, his hands squeezing my arms gently.
"I…" I started, but my throat closed up.
"Zatanna?" He asked in concern.
I couldn't take it anymore. My eyes filled with tears and I choked out a sob.
"Zatanna!" Robin repeated, this time in shock.
In the next moment he had pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around me. I did the same before leaning into his chest and sobbing loudly.
"Shhh." Robin said soothingly, rubbing my back gently. "It's going to be alright."
He let me cry myself out, holding my tightly and from time to time stroking my hair while murmuring reassuring words. Once, I thought I felt his lips brush against my temple, but it was so light and quick that I wasn't even sure it had happened.
All too soon, my crying ceased and I simply breathed in and out while Robin held me.
"I'm sorry." I finally croaked out. "I shouldn't have broken down like that."
His arms tightened once around me in a gesture of comfort before he said firmly, "I'm always here for you."
Robin's P.O.V
Even though she was upset, I relished the feeling of having her in my arms, of holding her close to me.
I briefly wondered if she could hear how fast my heart was beating, and she didn't disappoint.
She pulled away for a second, making my heart ache with a feeling of sudden loss. She looked concerned, and her hand briefly reached up to touch my face, but she pulled it away quickly.
My body sang at her touch.
"Are you ok?" She asked, her cerulean blue eyes questioning. "Your heart is beating really fast."
I blushed, and managed to murmur out, "I'm fine."
She didn't look convinced, but left me alone and pulled away completely. I resisted the urge to grab her and pull her into an embrace once again, but I couldn't help reaching out to grab her wrist.
She turned, questions swimming in her gorgeous eyes.
"Stay. Please." I said, my voice rough.
She looked surprised, and a faint blush painted her cheeks a rosy pink, but she complied and turned before walking back to me.
We just stared at each other for a few moments, and I wondered if she could feel the intensity I was certain was in my gaze, even though my eyes were hidden from hers.
It was because of this Batman and I had fought. I hated keeping my identity secret from the Team, especially Zatanna. But he had re explained the importance of a secret identity, although I knew it wasn't right to hide this from my friends.
Thinking of this, my hand reached towards her face and brushed a stray strand of hair away. She shivered under my touch, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her, right then and there.
But I refrained, uncertain of her reaction.
My heart warmed when she smiled at me shyly.
"Thank you." She whispered, her voice barely audible.
I frowned slightly in confusion. "For what?"
"Just… For being here." She murmured, her cerulean eyes sparkling with gratitude.
An effortless smile spread across my face at her words.
"I couldn't imagine being anywhere else." I heard myself say and mentally face-palmed myself.
Jeez. What was I doing? I normally had more self-control than this!
Zatanna blushed again, and I watched in relief as the last lingering feelings of grief and sadness slip from her eyes.
"So, do I get a reward for cheering you up?" I joked, trying desperately trying to steer the conversation to another topic before she had too long to dwell on my slip-up.
"Not a chance!" She giggled.
I pretend-frowned before acting like I had gotten an idea before baring my teeth in a very Robin-ish style.
"Guess I'm gonna have to get that reward myself then!" I said before suddenly lunging forward, the grin still on my face.
Zatanna immediately darted out of the way, laughing. "Yep, you'll have to catch me first!"
The mood had suddenly changed from the I'll-be-there-for-you tension to the easy joking and flirting that we did on a daily basis. And I had to say, I was annoyed at myself for letting that happen.