A/N: This is a one-shot based off the song 'I'm Gonna Love You through It' by Martina McBride. It also happens to use the characters from my story 'Things Change.' I really like this song and thought it would make a touching little one-shot. If you haven't heard the song I definitely suggest that you do! I just want to thank Jaspers temptress for pre-reading this. You are awesome!
Disclaimer: I don't own the song "I'm Gonna Love You Through It" Martina McBride does. And Stephenie Meyer owns the characters of Twilight. I just own everything else you don't recognize.
"Callie, Paul, there is no easy way to say this so I'm just going to tell you," Carlisle sighed. "Callie, you have breast cancer. Now, we caught it early so that's good, but your still going to have to do chemotherapy and possibly a mastectomy if it comes to that."
It felt like my whole world stopped as soon as the words 'breast cancer' left Carlisle's lips. Lately I have been tired for no reason along with feeling sick all the time. At first Paul thought maybe I was pregnant again but I knew that wasn't it. So we decided to come see Carlisle and find out what's going on.
My mind immediately went to Paul and the kids. Masen, Jackson, and Jaidyn need me. I'm only thirty-eight years old! I know that Paul is more than capable of protecting and taking care of the kids if –God forbid – something happens to me, but I don't want my children to grow up without a mother. Granted, Masen is twenty-one, married, and about to become a mother herself, but I want to see my first grandbaby! Jackson is only twelve and Jaidyn is barely three.
"What are we going to do Paul?' I asked.
"We are going to get you the treatment you need. I know that you are afraid. Hell, I am too. But you will never be alone! You have me, The Pack, the kids, the Council and the Cullen's."
I smiled at him. Even after all these years Paul is still my night is shining armor; or my protective wolf-man.
The chemotherapy has been going about as well as anyone could hope. It definitely sucks but it's a necessary evil. I've lost a lot of weight due to the treatment. I've always been a big girl, so this was a definite change for me. Then my hair started falling out. Paul held me for hours after I found the first clump of it on my pillow. Now almost all my hair is gone so I've been wearing hats to cover up the hair loss.
Yesterday though, we received some news that wasn't unexpected but it was still a big shock. Carlisle sat Paul and I down and explained that while the chemo was working, it wasn't as effective as they were hoping. The doctors decided that a mastectomy would be the best course of action.
"I know this is a lot to consider but the sooner we do this, the better," Carlisle told us.
Paul and I had already discussed what we would do if it ever came to this. The Cullen's have been gracious and wouldn't let us pay for anything. They said they had more than enough money and that this was just as important to them as it was to us. So with that in mind, we decided to do whatever the doctor's thought was best.
"Okay," I said tiredly.
"I know you're scared Callie but you will be fine," Carlisle said reassuringly. "I'll schedule it for the day after tomorrow."
Paul and I left to go tell the Pack after that. The Pack has been very supportive ever since we found out about the cancer. Leah, Kim and the other female imprints have been helping take care of Jackson and Jaidyn, and Embry has been taking care of Masen, who is due in just two months. They said they would stand by us no matter what, and for that I was grateful.
"Hey guys," the Pack yelled as we walked into the house.
Jaidyn ran up and immediately jumped into my arms. I hugged my little girl for dear life while I bent over and kissed Jackson on his forehead. Everyone grew quiet when we didn't immediately say anything back.
"What's going on?" Uncle Sam asked.
"The chemo isn't working like the doctor's want it to. I'm scheduled to have a mastectomy the day after tomorrow," I said, wiping at a stray tear that made it's was down my cheek.
The Pack didn't say anything because there was nothing to say. Instead they all hugged me one by one while I cried. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. Paul and I are supposed to grow old and watch our grandkids while we sit in a rocker and talk about the good 'ole days.
I guess nothing goes according to plan.
The surgery went well.
At least I assume so because I was out for it but that's what Carlisle told me when I woke up. But they had to take more than they thought, so a normal mastectomy turned into a double mastectomy. They had to remove both of my breasts due to the cancer.
Hell yes I cried like a baby. What woman wants to lose both of her breasts? What would Paul think?
Eventually I was released from the hospital and went home. Paul was amazing. He never made me feel like less of a women but I wouldn't let him see me without a shirt on because I'm not comfortable with it. I could tell he was growing frustrated but he didn't voice it. At least until him and the guys decided to get together and watch The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.
I was making lunch for the entire pack while they were in the living room watch The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I will never understand why males are so obsessed with watching half-naked women parading around in lingerie.
"So, how is Callie doing?" Jared asked.
"She's getting better," Paul replied. "She still won't let me see her without her shirt on. I totally understand that she isn't comfortable with it, but I wish she would realize that I married her because I love her, not because of what her breasts look like."
"Do you ever wish you had imprinted on someone else?" Jacob asked.
"I've thought about it. I used to think that it would be so much easier if she looked like one of the Victoria Secret Models. But then I realized that that doesn't matter because I love her for who she is. She's the mother of my children, and no other women could have given me Masen, Jackson, or Jaidyn."
"Do you wish she looked like a model now?" Seth asked.
"In a way, it would be great if she didn't lose her breasts but I can't help that. It was necessary."
My heart broke at that. I've been wearing baggy shirts because I don't want people to see what the cancer took from me.
I threw the plate that I was holding across the room. I knew I was being irrational but it hurt to hear that Paul wanted me to be something that I will never be. Paul and the rest of the Pack ran into the room to see what was going on.
"What's wrong baby?" Paul asked.
"I can't do this anymore! I can't help the fact that I had to have a double mastectomy! I'm sorry that I'm not as comfortable with my body anymore and you don't like it! I will never be a fucking fashion model. But I'm still the same girl you fell in love with Paul."
I was crying like crazy at that point. I can't believe that he would talk to the Pack about things like that. Hell, I can't believe that they would ask him questions like that. I thought they were better than that.
"And you!" I yelled, pointing at Jacob and Seth. "How dare you ask questions like that? You have no idea what I've been through. How would you feel if your imprints had to have their breasts removed? You sure as hell wouldn't be asking questions like that if it were you!"
"I'm sorry," Seth, Paul and Jacob asked at the same time.
I ran upstairs and slammed the bedroom door shut, clicking the lock into place. I laid down on the bed and just cried my eyes out.
Paul left me alone for the rest of the day. Until about eight o'clock in the evening.
He lightly knocked on the door first, but when it was clear I wasn't going to let him in, he decided to get creative. About two minutes later he was standing in front of the now open window. Damn it! I knew I should have shut and locked that window but the breeze was nice!
"I'm sorry about the things we said babe. I've always loved you. I was a fool in high school and I've only been thinking about myself and my frustrations lately. I've been taking care of the kids and patrolling and then you won't let me see you without a shirt on. I fell in love with you, not your body," he said.
"You don't get it! I don't feel like a woman anymore; I don't feel worthy enough for you. I'm afraid that you are going to leave me for the next beautiful woman you see and it kills me," I cried.
"This isn't about Bianca again is it? I thought we were passed that!" He said.
"No, it's not about the one time you cheated on me! It's about the fact that there are more beautiful women out there who try to get your attention every day and yet you still love me. Even with all my shortcomings. Why?"
"Because I love you damn it! We are soul mates, we have three wonderful children together and no other woman can love me like you do. I know what I said hurt you and for that I am sorry. But I'm going to love you every day until my last breath. Just like I promised you," he said. "You just have to trust me."
Paul held out his hand and I debated on what to do. We have been through so much together that there was no way in hell that I'm going to do anything other than forgive him, but I just want him to understand that this is something we both have to get used to.
"We have to try Paul. I'm trying every day to be more comfortable with my chest and I'm getting there. You just have to be patient," I said.
"I know baby. I'm going to do everything I can to make you see that you are beautiful, no matter what," he said. "Just take my hand and together we can do it because I'm gonn love you through it."
After hearing Paul tell me that he wasn't going to leave me, and that he was going to help me get through this no matter what, I placed my hand in his, telling him that I trust him completely.
A/N: So…what did you think? Please keep in mind I wrote this at three o'clock in the morning so I apologize if there are any mistakes. Please leave me a review and tell me what you think.